I used to feel like this, too.....with age, sometimes a little wisdom comes.....read stressed backwards and comply. You'll be fine....(grin)

When we lose people around the holidays, and then we have to live with it year after year, we do find out what is really important and cleaning isn't anywhere near the top of the list. Touch and hug those you love, I always say "love you...talk to you later" when parting or hanging up the phone. You'll find your own signature response...I just try and not make it sound final. Also, you need to feel good, too! Do what you 'want' to do!

Ok.....off the soapbox.....

SharonG/FL

I gave myself a little gift this year - freedom from feeling I have to "do it all". Three years ago, the huge, artificial tree went - it involved moving furniture to find a place to put it, and other than a few minutes of DH helping me string lights, I assembled it, decorated it, undecorated it, disassembled it, etc. etc. You get the picture. This year the swags that got tied to the front railing outside, along with the red velvet bows went - again, I was the only one dealing with that - sometimes, in freezing weather. I also gave a few largish table-top angels and a small tabletop tree to DGD, who had a new home and was thrilled to get them. I'm not baking dozens of kinds of cookies - really trying to seriously diet and eat better and I don't need them around. My shopping list has shrunk, and envelopes of money are ready to be given out to the grandkids, all in their teens or older - money, the perfect gift - so no fighting the crowds shopping for that elusive gift that would be just right! I'm only sending out cards to those who I receive one from - typed up a simple little letter to enclose on the cards. What a total overwhelmingly freeing feeling I have. It took me about 10 minutes to decorate my house - nativity scene, two large santas, and a few Christmas quilts draped over stuff. I am beginning to get in the spirit of the season.
(Oh, also, no big dinner on the day - just a breakfast casserole, and rolls for family when they come by).

Boy do I understand! As older folks, we lose people each year to be reminded of over the holidays.

My stress has been awful but I've had to taper off sewing and do other things that aren't my favorites. I have lots of kids coming this year (which is wonderful as we're usually alone) and decided they can help. The son coming the 20th will be responsible for putting up and decorating the tree. What isn't done when he gets here - well, tough!

Have a good holiday all of you. Wish you were all here for Xmas. You are like my "secret" family.

Linda

Learning to cut down takes time but we all have to do it. I had "Christmas in July" this year and invited children, grands and my sister. I unloaded 3 good sized tote boxes with christmas decorations, many that I had received from them and let them choose the ones they wanted. They were very dear to my heart and I wanted to see them find a good and loving home, they did.
I still had 2 boxes and the top shelf of my bedroom clost, my santa's, which decorate the tree and the house. It still takes time but not nearly as much as before. I miss some of them but know my memories are being passed on.
It is gift cards for the young adults, savings bond for 1/2 the gifts for the little ones and a lot shorter gift list. Baking has taken a back seat for a few years but still manage a little. Jayne

I hear ya!! Last year i told my GF's lets stop exchanging gifts,as we don't need gifts to prove our friendship!! We still get together,for an extra GF's day,lunch and all that,can't give it all up ya know.

We try and get together several times a year for lunch,and a day of extended chatting face to face.

I also cut back on the decorating,since i'm married to scrooge,and he and i are the only ones here.I was like the other poster,i lugged the tree in,put it up,took it down.I climbed the ladders and put up the house lights and all the other decorations both inside and out.while dh sat in the house watching tv.

Now that i'm just about 70 i decided it was just too much work for one person,and all the GK's have moved away and aren't financially able to come back for the holidays,so why bother with ALL of it.So i cut wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back.

This year i just put the net lights on the picket fence,with the garlands and bows.Decorated the porch and both doors.Then inside i put a bunch of my santas out in the kitchen and dining room,and my snowmen in the living room.So far i havn't put up my big tree and don't think i will.But i also have a 3 footer in the shed that i put away every year already decorated,so i may get that out.After all i do deserve some of this.LOL,LOL
Kathi

Wow , I know how you all feel LOL! I too am always the one to decorate get the junk lug it room to room put it up then take it all down and lug it back to its resting place for another year! Well not this year............I put a small tree up in my Mothers room.....and I have 2 small trees I am going to put up in the living room...1 is already set up a fiber optic but the other needs to be decorated.....I am debating on that one LOL...... I did no decorations outside
and not going to.....as far as cleaning....what I get done I get done I am not the only one living here and I clean behind myself so if you make a mess my motto you better clean it..........I am not the maid LOL......I do get stuck every year cooking............. so the only thing good about that is left overs..............
Ever since I had a concussion a few months I just haven't had energy and was feeling depressed just not myself....
I was also feeling guilty about not wanting to get things ready for christmas......but now I don't feel so bad caue I see others feel the same way.....

TFS
Red

I try to remember what the real reason for Christmas is. Would you want people all stressed out and overspending and getting all frazzled over your birthday? We stopped doing Christmas three years ago.We are not stingy people, but we simply cant afford gifts,and refuse to use a credit card and go into debt. Our immediate family are all the same. We get together and eat a meal, play our musical instruments,and exchage home made foods or goodies.Thats it.We love it that way and a burden is lifted.We have wonderful times,and celebrate the Kings birthday by loving one another and not by stressing and over extending,,It took me a couple of years to get used to people asking me if I had finished my shopping yet,but now I just tell them,we dont shop,,,let them deal with it! LOL!

I think it is something "going around"
I decorated my front porch and put up just my snowmen in the living room, my angels on top of the entertainment center Gingerbreads on the K shelf and a little prelit tree on a small card table. I didn't even get out the ornaments since it isso full of lights when it is turned on.

I'll find something in the garage and think well, maybe I'll put that up.
I too have whole collections of Santas, rocking horses, etc that are still in the boxes and would like to find a good home for them. The kids have their own and even they are cutting down on what they put up at their places.

I take a lot of photos once it is up and like to look at photos stored in my computer from past years. I think when I do get rid of things I'll take a few shots of various things just to remember them.

I don't think itis stress; Maybe it is the "Been there done that" syndrome.

I approach it with "I'll do exactly as much as I enjoy doing."

One of the things I have realized is that no one else actually EXPECTS anything. That may not be true for all of you but when I read of all the women who handle all the decorations and feel they have to, I think -- they're doing it all 'cause no one else really CARES if they go up.

DH would love to do none of it and last year he promised (out of the blue I did not say anything) to "make next year better" in that he will not "fight" against any decorations I want to put up.

But already this year he is resisting the large (fake) tree that apparently moved to his mother's garage with, to my dismay, all our other holiday decorations and wrapping paper! I may "compromise" by getting a small, easily handled one.

I love Christmas and all the festivities that go with it but where is the joy and celebration if everyone is stressed out? If we had kids in the house it would be different.

And as for gift giving amongst adults -- well, the older I get, the less I want/need and I think most people feel that way. Consumable stuff is great but then it's always fattening and there's always so much of it.

Also -- I'm with ScrapHappy -- my nephews get money from me for their birthdays and Christmas. Some may say that's lazy and tacky but let's be honest -- it makes EVERYONE happy!!!!!!

There are a few things I wanted to get done that simply will not happen. I'm picking a couple things and focusing on ENJOYING them while I count my blessings and reflect on the wonderful life God has given me.

You know.... I am also in the same boat, and feel the same way as some of you, having to do the decorating myself... I decided that next year there will be no tree..... ever since the tree has been up I must find all the ornaments, etc that the darn cat has decided to knock off and chase all over the house. I am done trying to retrieve the stuff and repair or toss the broken ornaments. Next year I will just stick with simple decorations that will not work on my nerves and not take forever to do!

Geraldine I can not believe you posted this!!!!!! You made me feel better knowing I am not the only one!!!!!
I have not logged in to this site for so long because I have been so busy.
I love the holidays, but just as soon as Halloween gets here my life gets crazy.
In addition to the holidays our anniversary is Dec 3, what were we thinking????? It was DH's idea and this year we went to Disney (his favorite!!!!!) and it was relaxing with just the two of us.
I am a new sub for the small district here and I learned the hard way how distracted middle schooler's are around holidays. One actually turned his chair over backwards.
I am now monogramimg towels for Christmas gifts.
Our family draws names for other family adults for our family party, but I still have immediate family.
Stressed out Rosa

We haven't bothered with a tree for 3 or so years. It became too much work and I'd have to fight to get any help with it and we don't have the space for it anyway!
This year, I'm into the holiday spirit so I brought a 2 footer, a topper and a container of mini ornaments from wally's. I put the tree on top of a cabinet, put the hangers and ornaments beside it and instructed the DS to hang an ornament every time or so that he passes by it. I am doing the same thing.
It really looks nice where it is as I'm also working on making Christmas table runners ( ;)Wonder where I got that idea! lol), and a lot of the fabric is ending up on that cabinet adding more Christmas color.
It's been very relaxing to add an ornament at will and it's been great having a tree in the house again! I figure it will be completely decorated no later than Christmas Day!
Happy Holidays!
Cathy

I found my mother-in-laws ceramic tree that I made for her waaaaaaaaaay back when and plugged that in. That's good for me.

Redpenny, I didn't know you had a concussion! Hope everything is ok with you, now.
Sounds like we're all of a similar mind - I think we all go from year to year, just doing the same things in the same old way, because it's always been done that way, and we are the doers, the caretakers of our families, and one day we realize Christmas will still be Christmas, whether we're "ready" for it or not, and we need to be a little easier on ourselves and lower our expectations a little if we are the only ones bringing it all about, sometimes we are the only ones who really notice that this or that got done in time. I felt so overwhelmed with it all some years - especially when someone would ask (and someone always would!) "Are you ready for Christmas?" I feel so much more relaxed about it all this year! Whew! - Now I'm getting down off my soapbox.