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garnetsews

Cleaning and Buried!

21 years ago

Last week our 31 year old son moved home -- bad bad marriage. We are tickled!

This week our 21 year old son moved home -- terrible living situation and illness is taking it's tole. We are tickled!

I work from my home and had taken over one bedroom for storage and shipping. One bedroom had been used for TV / stationary bike and we had put a brand new day bed for guests. The other bigger bedroom had been converted several years ago to a cutting room with a 6' by 14' table with material racks. My formal living room with all the comforts of a sewing room is now becoming several different room items in one.

I am very overwhelmed and happy at the same time. How do you get through the shuffle without having a nervous breakdown?

Between the belongings of the two boys and our extra stuff we have already filled up a rented storage cubicle. We have a 3300 square foot house which doesn't include the 4 car garage and we are stuff maxed. A yard sale is in the works and I hope that some of the extra stuff finds good homes.

Must get everything under control by Monday AM when a new bedroom set is coming in for the 21 year old. I'll make it -- I think.

Have any of you gone through this and how did you handle it? Having the boys home is wonderful and we have welcomed them with open arms. Yes, our empty nest is gone and we are beginning some major adjustments.

Any suggestions for success will be more than welcome and thanks for listening.

Comments (7)

  • 21 years ago

    Oh, Garnetsews. What a lot to take on all at once! I understand your feelings. Glad to have them close, but it's not easy to fit in all the stuff. I'd give it a couple of weeks for them to settle in, then I'd be really strict. It isn't only for you to have the garage sale. They need to choose some things to go too. It will take time. Above all, don't stress, share the chores as much as possible, and enjoy. Let us know how you get on.

  • 21 years ago

    What a nice mom and dad you are! My parents would just shutter if I wanted to move back home.....I couldn't - my 40 year old nephew is back in residence with them. He brought nothing but the clothes on his back and an empty wallet....his wife has everything else. My mother loves it as "her boy" is home. However darling nephew has reverted to the Little boy stage and has her doing the handmaiden act...cause he don't know how. Just make sure they help and good luck!

  • 21 years ago

    Bless you, Garnetsews! Just take it one day at a time, then maybe have a family meeting to organize a game plan and everyone pare down their stuff. You'll need good communication and lots of common sense to deal with everyone's stuff.

    Don't wait too long or they will get too attached to their stuff! LOL!

  • 21 years ago

    Islay_Corbel -- you are right about the group yard sale. The boys will have to make some tough choices of what to sell and what to keep. DH made it very clear that we will not be doing all around the house or selling just our extra stuff.

    Our children are so important to us and it will be tough not to treat our boys as boys. I have already been put in my place by the oldest daughter, an officer in the Air Force, about how things should be done and she will not tolerate 'mom' doing everything. Budster -- I will have to loosen up a bit and allow others to help.

    The youngest daugter and her boyfriend will be here today to help and we should finish everything. Then tomorrow DH & I will take off to somewhere for the day.

    Teresa_nc7 - We were able to have supper out yesterday with the boys and set some guidelines for co-existance and chores. The one thing that I feel blessed with is that they will do the yard work and since we have to care for DH parents house / yard, they will take over that as well.

    Thanks for your thoughts and for today, 3 of the 4 off-spring will be under one roof which doesn't happen very often.

  • 21 years ago

    God Bless, I will say a prayer for you and yours. I have 4 grown children and each of them has moved back in and out at various times, sometimes with a grandchild too. We have a large house, thank goodness. There are just the two of us here in a hugh house now and I have taken over the extra spaces with all my stuff. Always have had a basement and attic to shove the extras however. Everyone is settled in their own homes now so we host the grandchildren once a month for the week-ends. One spare room is now their game room complete with 2 tv's, vcr/dvd, x-box and playstation 2 and stereo. What fun we have. Must always set rules so everyone can know what to expect, and things will work much better. Joyce

  • 21 years ago

    i am the child that keeps moving back home even with my husband and child, 2 cats and dog but that is exactly why i love my parents,you sound like a wonderful mum and obviously have a true home sweet home.

  • 21 years ago

    You sound like wonderful parents. My kids are still at home and I'm sure if something happened in the future that I would welcome them back home. Sounds like you've already organised who is going to do what etc.

    My parents have been in that predicament with my brother and his now ex-wife (praise the Lord), and one thing that mum did was to wait on them all the time. This caused a lot of stress and problems. You want to have your life, but also enjoy your sons as well. However, not at the expense of your own life. I'm sure you'll be fine. My brother wasn't too bad but his ex was a witch with a capital "B". Thankfully you don't have to deal with anything like this.

    Good luck.