LOL right there with ya

How nice of you to share your husband with a 23 year old. Sorry...I couldn't resist. I hope you are both feeling better about the number after the bottle.

These remodel numbers are high. This is the most expensive process I have ever engaged in. There may not be adequate descriptors out there to express the size of the large funnel being attached to our bank account right now...

*Sigh*

It will be usable. And lovely. And cooking will be a dream.

Go with the wine but only offer one number per drink.

"How much was the plumbing?"
"A billion dollars"
*drink*

"How much was the electrical?"
"A second billion dollars"
*drink*

"How much for the cabinents?"
"Take another drink"
*drink*
"Take the electrical and plumbing and double it."
*drink*
*drink*

Save the hard booze for the first change order. If you don't pace yourself it get's ugly very quickly.

The funny thing is, after you hear them over and over they aren't as big as they used to be. I remember the first time I googled fireclay farm sink. Now I have one.

When we got the first quote for our whole house reno we were stunned into speechlessness. We then trimmed the budget by deleting this and downgrading this and changing that. Now that we're finished we sometimes say - You know we should have kept that in the budget, after all it was only $1500. And boy I wish we hadn't changed that, after all it was only another $600. The numbers began to become meaningless. And we had to be careful that we didn't allow that to happen. It's not an excuse that banks like to hear.

Pinch Me is right. You soon get used to the prices. Did you do some kind of rough figuring before it all started to know about what you were getting into?

Our GC came in way over budget also. We are now GC'ing this whole house remodel ourselves. We'll save $, but I"m sure it will take longer.

Just think of all the money you'll save later - eating in.

Thank you Miss Muffet, Breezygirl, Byronroad, Pinch_Me, Morgne, and Regina Phelange. I drink this next glass to you and all the fellow people out there who are in this same spot. I am still laughing about the drinking game and the bank comment, so FUNNY!

Thanks for making this process so much more fun :)

Wine is good. But if you remodel your bathroom first, then the kitchen estimate won't seem so outrageous at all.

We eased into remodeling like warmfridge said. The water's temperature was easier to bear by dipping the toes in first! We started with the upstairs baths using a handyman, then the downstairs baths with the GC, and then onto the kitchen, most recently.

The checks to the GC were certainly the largest I have ever written. I found myself with pen, paper and calculator continually making sure that we could afford everything. I had in mind a practical budget and an uppermost ceiling budget. Needless to say, I went with the top budget, but I still felt financially comfortable with that amount. However, towards the very end of the project, as the ceiling was rapidly approaching, I got pretty nervous. A spreadsheet helped me to keep all the bills and expenses organized.

Another thing that helped me was doing lots of cost research. That way when the price list was shown, I didn't immediately keel over!

Now that our renovating is over, I am very happy with the results, but I am thrilled that the glug glug sound is gone from our bank account! It is a very expensive & stress filled undertaking.

Best of luck to you!

At the beginning of the process, examine your motives. I assume you've done the Sweeby Test? Something I often mention on the GW Kitchens is the effect of peer pressure. If you get all snarled up in high-end stuff and hype, it's hard to untie yourself.

There is a wonderful layout kitchen discussed on a blog which has a comment after it saying that low-end kitchen plans could benefit from the layout and just use less expensive materials and appliances. The blogger huffily responded saying "but the whole point of this kitchen is that it is high end." The kitchen was not posted because it was a useful kitchen but because it was a show pony. The utility of it was meaningless! Go figure.

So let the buyer beware. Remember, it's only a kitchen. It won't fix a marriage, make you a better cook, improve your parenting, etc. etc. etc. And if you think it will revive a house's sagging status, there is no guarantee that money can do that, but there are breaking points for value of expenditure vs. payback. In this economy, you really need to think about all this.

Lots of very savvy advice here--humor among them! And I don't even drink! I am trying to come to grips with my reno budget as well. I must make a decision by the end of Dec. to get the Showcase cabinet offer. I have most of my pricing and I am nearing the top of my "comfort" budget. Decision-making is very tough.

Wise words from Florantha... reminds me of a quote from the book "Fight Club," by Chuck Palahniuk, Chapter 5:

"You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."

Craigslist is a wonderful resource for appliances (and other items).
Try ebay for faucets, hardware, accessories, etc...
Haunt every site's clearance section.
Go to the local scratch and dent sales or outlet stores.
There is much you can do to bring down costs.

Hmmm. I used to think clothes from JCrew were expensive and would treat myself to stuff from there about once or so a year.

Then I remodeled the kitchen and bathroom.

After that, a $1500 dress didn't make me bat an eyelash. I pondered the dress. Briefly. Bought it. Brought it home and then remembered that I don't wear frocks. And even then I wasn't that aghast. Afterall, I'd just paid $600 for a pair of trousers and $400 for a skirt a month before that.

I want to go back to where prices give me sticker shock. Right now, about the only thing that makes me start is our national debt. Even my remodel didn't get *that* big.

It is savvy advice.

Its funny, my motives are pretty clear to me in terms of emotions and functionality for myself, the hard part is that I am not trained in this area and I know it, but I feel like its my responsibility to make all these ginormous decisions whether I know the answer or not and that is scary. And I am not sure how to buy something I can't see, touch, or feel yet and I am not great with the pretty design part. Other people think I am, but, some like what I want to do - some others not so much.

Its hard to do something in an area where you are not confident. Take clothes...When I buy clothes I can see how they look on me. Or movies...There's a trailer for movies you might want to see.

A kitchen is the heart of the home, but how many of us truly know our hearts? And although the heart of the home is worth a LOT of money, is it really worth what we are paying for it? Because really, I make some great meals and have wonderful moments in a kitchen that is 50 years old, has little or no storage, no seating, and lots of other mechanical and design flaws plus signs of hard use like broken tiles and drawers. So I am happy, with or without the kitchen. Theoretically I don't need to spend any money cause much of the kitchen still works...

Sorry...I am acting silly. This will be a good process and we will enjoy another 20 years in this kitchen together. And although there is surely a better use for $ 70,000, this is how we are spending it :)

Yeah, I know its a big number, probably bigger that most. And we are actually renovating parts of three rooms to improve functionality in the existing space and putting in a small deck and french doors to that balcony/deck area and the herb/veggie garden below it. But still, it is a big number.

I have gotten some awesome deals, but I also bought an oven $ 800 over my budget because of the stupid handle and 2 extra glidey-shelves. That was not my shining hour. I am telling you...sometimes I am good to go and sometimes I have lost my mind.

But if you remodel your bathroom first, then the kitchen estimate won't seem so outrageous at all.

Plus, you'll be out of money already, so it won't make any difference.

Says one who knows.

I admire people who say they tracked all their budget in a spreadsheet. They must've used less forgetful contractors than I did. "Oh, you want an outlet/toilet/a tub that fits/a floor in your bathroom? You never told me."

Not sure I'd put much stock in the "kitchen is the heart of the home" line very much. It can skew your perspective. Where else do you "center" yourself in your homelife?

In my home, the dining room is often the heart--the place where we see one another, enjoy food without a lot of distractions, finish our working day, focus on what is important.

I prefer to think of a kitchen as a workshop, the place you go to to work and where you can leave when work is done. This helps keep the kitchen project in some kind of disciplined direction.

The "heart of the home" bit is marketing hype to sell new kitchens, and houses with new kitchens.

When I bought my house, I did so with the expectation of remodeling the kitchen. I thought I'd have to remodel any kitchen I'd find around here anyway. So I accepted a completely dysfunctional kitchen knowing it would have to go regardless.

That was a mistake. As I've learned, renovation is a terrible, and terribly expensive process. You have to deal with contractors every day, 90% of whom are terrible people. My new bath is beautiful, but I would trade it in a heartbeat for a much less nice bath that I never had to renovate. It's easy to come on here and get excited by cool tile or beautiful counters or clever layouts, but the process of getting there really isn't worth it, unless your kitchen is truly falling apart or you absolutely can't work in it at all.

So, if you're trying to get yourself to "accept" something shocking, perhaps what you should be trying to accept is living with the kitchen you have, rather than trying to accept paying exorbitant costs to renovate it.

I agree with florantha and marcolo. Anyone undertaking a renovation needs to go into the process with eyes wide open. It is messy, stressful and more expensive than a new build. It will not give your home any more of heart than you have now. It may, in fact, put additional burdens on relationships, especially in these tight financial times.

This site is a wonderful asset, but it is all too easy to get caught up in the glamour of the moment in the pursuit of the perfect kitchen. The perfect kitchen is very elusive and like chasing the gold at the end of the rainbow. In the end, you end up with a year of active living sucked away because of the absorption required of such a project. I certainly don't want to dishearten anyone's enthusiasm, but I only want to provide a little thoughtful ballast.

I was able to live through this experience and I love my results and cooking in my new space, but it is just stuff. And expensive stuff at that! What I am truely happy for this Christmas, is having my DD home from college and all my family and animals gathered round me. That is really where the heart of the home is and the new kitchen hasn't added to that joy one bit.

I agree with Florantha and Marcolo.

Interesting to read your experiences, Marcolo, because realtors always make it sound like it will be no big deal to redo a kitchen or bathroom when they are trying to sell you on a house.

I think we sort of live in "HGTV" times, where they've got us all convinced that our lives are no good unless we have "Better Homes and Gardens" houses. It's just a more modern version of "keeping up with the Jones's." I have seen designers on there criticize a $100,000 kitchen because the homeowners used laminate (faux wood) flooring. That's just nuts in my opinion!

It reminds me of DeBeers and their very successful diamond campaigns. The diamond engagement ring "tradition" (often involving two month's salary) is a 20th century invention by a diamond company, but not many people realize that. We are all made to believe it is a standard set by our ancestors (who actually would have probably just been happy with enough food to eat and health care).

I think the same sorts of things happen with a lot of marketing. If you keep your eye on what YOU love, you will be better off. And even then, take a step back and reevaluate in context of your life before you swing the first hammer. It is easy to get caught up in the flurry and lose sight of reality. Patience is key.

Wow, mirz2000, DeBeers is just a fantastic analogy, a way that expensive, unaffordable purchases get wrapped up in false emotion. Do you know their famous tagline, "Diamonds are forever?" Do you know what it really means? Diamonds do last forever--which means there are a lot of used diamonds floating around in the world. If all of those came onto the market, the prices for new diamonds would fall. So DeBeers wants to persuade people that diamonds=love, so you would never want to sell one of your diamonds. And unless it's a rare antique, it's considered tacky to buy a second-hand diamond. Pure, self-centered marketing BS, all wrapped up in a lovey dovey package. I'm not making this up--it's a famous business school case.

Kitchens are just like that. No matter how much money I spend on my reno, it's never going to resurrect my mom and dad and departed siblings, aunts and uncles who made the smells and sounds of my childhood kitchen so wonderful. It's just a countertop.

And as dooey said, anyone who goes into a kitchen reno all gooey and lovey-dovey about the "heart of the home" needs to understand that it has a fairly high likelihood of causing a divorce. It has a virtual 100% certainty of causing family strain and argument. What's really at the heart of your home--loving relationships, or soapstone?

Fabulous discussion. And, once we do all stress out and spend our fortunes and live for weeks (or more likely MONTHS) doing dishes in the bathtub, etc., who's to say we will be happy in the end? Because there are always more ideas, better ideas, things we didn't think of or couldn't afford that will be written here and marketed to us everywhere.

Indeed it takes a strong person to make the plunge into a major reno like the kitchen. It can be fun at times and very rewarding (we do love our new kitchen), but save some of that 23 year old because you'll need it before, during, and after!

I am laughing a bit because in a crazy nutty "too attached to food" way I treat the kitchen as if it is the heart of the home because no matter what we are feeling, we gather there to eat, hang out, talk, cuddle, and basically I use the kitchen every day all day long.

Turns out the hardest part is not the money - found that out yesterday when I had a panic attack over a dented metal pie dish I have had since I was a teenager. This is actually a great process for me I think and today that is all I am doing. If I can't find a good home for it, its okay to put it in a box and let the gatherers take it away (we have gatherers in the neighborhood that drive by and take everything). And when we demo the kitchen I am giving all the appliances that still work a new life on freeweb or whatever its called.

Its the throwing things away we have had for 30 years that are dented and well used that I no longer need but I wish I could find a home for that apparently is the tough part for me. I did not know I was a hoarder until this moment.

Time to let go and grow up - your "only stuff" comments are great because they are true and incredibly timely. I invited people over to help me do this. I started the thread because I thought it was about money, I guess it isn't...thanks!

I think the theme here is, "be grateful for what you've got."

That applies in a number of ways. For a lot of people, that means not getting sucked into high-end luxuries that we really don't need--or at least, don't need more than our savings, our happiness and our relationships.

But it also applies if you do go ahead with a kitchen reno. While you may be among the lucky few, you should expect an experience that costs way more than you can afford, takes far longer than you planned or can possibly tolerate, causes more problems than you have now, and forces you to deal with people you would never really want to have any contact with in any other circumstances. At the end, you will still not have everything you could possibly want, there will be incompetent work staring you in the face, nice things will get damaged, and you will have to live with a number of mistakes, yours and others'. If, after all that, you can still be happy that your kitchen is prettier and works better than it did before, then a reno is the right move for you.

It's the people who think a perfect kitchen will perfect their lives that get into real trouble.

Kitchens are important. The kitchen is probably the only room in your parents or grandparents or aunts, uncles, or friends homes, that generally bring back good memories.

You won't regret it, having a new, well designed kitchen is such a pleasure. Just don't start adding in "just a few little things" because a $100 here and a $100 there and it starts to add up to real money. It's a very easy trap to fall into, since it seems like such a small part of the overall cost. Get what you need, get good quality, that will last, and then think carefully about all those incidentals.

My kitchen/laundry room remodel estimate came in at 3 times what I originally thought I would need to spend. Of course I had never done anything like this before so I was quite clueless. My kitchen was falling apart from the floor to the appliances to the cabinets, so there was really no choice. You don't want to throw good money after bad.

Fortunately, my KD eased me into reality over the weeks before she gave me the final estimate, so I was kind of ready. I don't regret a penny of what I spent on my remodel.

I can't begin to explain what a pleasure it is, even 7 years later, not only to work in, but just having family sit around in a clean, well-lighted, friendly room. It is the heart of my home for my family, no matter how much cold water some people try to throw on a remodel.

Enjoy your new kitchen.

Great discussion points!

I am really glad momj47 chimed in. It is great to hear from someone 7 years out from their remodel that it was all worth it.

I'm only a few months out from my remodel. I am thrilled with the additional lovely spaces. Like momj47 stated, there is nothing like a well designed kitchen. It is a sheer pleasure to cook in and entirely worth all the rigamarole in my case. My family spends even more time our kitchen now. These are all the great positives of a remodel.

Hopefully this post helps someone out there as they ponder the pros and cons of remodeling. It's great to have all of these different perspectives!

I am enjoying the process such as someone who works on classic cars or someone who gardens. I am not enjoying the packing and the p.i.a. parts, but know they come with the territory. I am not going into this thinking it will be fun and I can't wait to do it again in a few years. This kitchen has to get at least 25 years for me to put the effort and expense I am putting into it and hopefully, will be nice even longer than that. I am using mostly materials that are reasonably prices with only a small splurge here and there.
It is too easy to get sucked in to wanting everything you see here, yet some people here have a budget that is out of my reach. I am doing it as well as possible while keeping a sane budget. I have worked hard for years preparing and will be paying it off for a few more.
I know that I am increasing the value of my home and am not out of line with my neighborhood. I got mostly better than average items (all on sale/clearance) and trust that it will be pretty as well as functional.
I shopped out a contractor and seem to have done well with that choice. It may be easy to say at the end of week 2, but we are ahead of schedule and their abilities and communication skills are all I could ask for up to this point. They will be here tomorrow working too, which we hadn't expected.
If someone goes ahead thinking that their food will taste better or their lives will be transformed, then they have unrealistic expectations. I do think I will entertain more because when we were in our old house (more pleasant than this one), we had people over much more often. Our new layout and size will be a big improvement and it would be nice to enjoy how our home looks again. We moved in here not liking the house much but seeing potential. We were forced to be patient, but our time has come.
I know others may feel it is being frivolous because our current setup is functional, barely, but we work hard and would like to enjoy the fruits just a little bit more. Everyone has their non-essential priorities and for me, it is providing an attractive home for my family and myself. It may be a pain to get there, but we will be "there" for a long time to come. After packing to vacate the main level, I never want to move ever again!

A very inspirational discussion. After a very "rough" week of missteps, backsteps and stagnant progress on my kitchen, it's Friday and I only have to wait one week until my son comes home from his first semester at college.

I haven't been able hug or kiss him in 3.5 months and although I wanted the kitchen done before he came home, all I want today is for us to be together, as a family, during the holidays.

Is is really true I won't be a better cook with my new kitchen? Another lesson learned...

I just don't get the notion pushed by the industry that, if you really loved your family, you'd give them nickel faucets. There's nothing wrong at all with wanting an attractive kitchen, but frankly, your kids don't care what your kitchen looks like. They'd probably prefer turquoise cabinets. Aesthetics are really just for you. And that's fine. But you don't make the kitchen the "heart of the home" by paying a glazing upcharge.

Function is another matter. It's hard to make big family meals or have people keep you company in the kitchen (if you like that) when your kitchen is totally dysfunctional or flat-out too small, or makes people uncomfortable to enter, or gives kids no room to sit.

I wouldn't say my happiest memories are of a kitchen, but the kitchen I do remember most fondly was my aunt's. It had been my grandmother's. It was ugly as a boil on a pig's behind. Old wood slab cabinets, repainted to infinity. Old appliances, even then. A gigantic island (before its time) made out of stock lumber with clean new linoleum on top. The only remotely attractive feature was the original tin ceiling.

But function made all the difference. That big island allowed my aunt and my mom to roll out masses and masses of pasta, or hand-roll mountains of gnocchi. The damn kitchen took up half the house, so there was plenty of room to sit at a big table, watch, and shoot the breeze. Lots of card games were played on that table, too, until the wee hours of the night, or morning, more like.

I never missed for any Uba Tuba or fireclay, though.

Boy, reading this is making me cry actual tears today. Maybe I'm just extra emotional. I dunno.

I hear what Marcolo, Florantha, and others are saying. It IS just a kitchen. It's not going to resurrect your departed grandmother. But for me, it's that departed grandmother that made the kitchen such a special family place.

I grew up loving to help in the kitchen, especially at grandma's house. My brothers and cousins would go to the beach when we were there, but I spent time in the kitchen. I got to help Grandma make her famous chicken noodles and my favorite cinnamon roles. I can still see her hands expertly kneeding the dough and sprinkling the cinnamon. I remember her pink patterned apron with the pockets brushing my cheek as she moved. I know exactly how that thin indoor carpet on the floor felt under my feet. She taught me, cuddled me, shared her life experiences with me, and loved me in that kitchen. When the beachgoers returned, they would huddle on the floor on the other side of the kitchen and sort their beach treasures to show Grandma. She would "oh" and "ah" over every single one despite how the sand was strewn about. The kitchen was a FAMILY room.

Grandma Susie was my favorite person. The care she put into making a meal showed me that cooking good food for your family is a very loving act. Food doesn't equal love. The act of preparing it does.

I want a new kitchen. My old one was not falling apart much. I could have lived with it. But for me, having enough space and a better layout so I can pass on that loving family kitchen experience to my children and one day my grandchildren is worth the expense, time, energy, and stress it will take. I don't feel I'm being sucked into the "heart of the home" bit. The kitchen has always been the heart of a home to me.

My new kitchen won't bring back my Grandma, but her spirit will live on as I make the kitchen a magical place for my children like she made it for me.

I guess maybe I'm lucky in some ways. I'm disabled from a back injury and I remodeled both my bathroom and kitchen to accommodate my disability.

I think the things I agonized over were important. Can I get in and out of this tub? Is the seat in the shower the right height from the floor? Am I going to be able to pull out this drawer if there are more than 2 pots in it? Is this sink too deep?

After living with my new bathroom for 2 years, I can honestly say that this renovation was the best thing I've ever done for myself and I don't regret one penny. There are actually a couple of things I wish I'd added to the project. I'm still feeling my way around my more recently remodeled kitchen, but I think this is going to be equally worthwhile. I think it IS going to make me a better cook, if only because I can stand longer at my higher counters and don't have to bend so much. And if somebody thinks my granite and Silgranit sink are extravagant, too bad...they're way easier for me to clean than what I had before.

Breezygirl - you captured the look and feel I am going for with our new kitchen. Our older son has expressed an interest in learning how to cook (almost 9), and I would love to have the space for both of us to be there and to make him feel welcome alongside me. In our current kitchen, I get in my own way, lol.
The kitchen I remember most fondly in my life was my friends' mother's. All family and friends were welcome there and we'd hang out talking, playing games and laughing a lot until the wee hours. Sometimes after her own kids went to bed, lol. I want our kitchen to be that gathering spot for our sons and their friends. I want even the most stray kid (like I was) to know there was somewhere they'd be welcome and an adult who was happy to see them. I know her kids were proud to have their house be the one we all went to, so I'd love to pass that forward in our family's life.
Our layout is chosen to make the family comfortable and even the newest guest. Daily use items will be on open shelving over the sink and there is a large fridge and freezer to hold enough food for as many plates get added at dinner time and for afterschool or late night snacks. Our garbage can will be visible and so will napkins, paper towels, etc... I am hoping it feels accessible to anyone who walks in.
For our sons and one day, when we have grandchildren, I'd like them to see where food gets prepared and how a meal from scratch gets made. I batch cook often now (freeze for future meals on purpose) and that requires space to lay things out. In later years, when I am retired, I plan on making even more food at home because there will be no work and homework competing for my time before dinnertime.
I enjoy cooking, just as some people enjoy gardening or photography. Being able to do it in a space I have "feathered" with my own creativity and options will be a joy after living with our current set up. Our last house had a remodeled kitchen by the p.o. that would not be up to GW level decorwise, but was quite a breeze functionally. It did not have many bells and whistles, but it had space and storage and I made many great meals in it. I want that again and to do so with my version of pretty. It will not be the most fancy here, but it will be one of the most appreciated ones (by me, at least).

My whole house has been remodeled, and it's been 99% DIY, pay as you go. Been doing this for so long it's become a lifestyle . . .

As to the kitchen being the heart of the home, I've never bought that one. Up until my kids moved out, the kitchen was just a place to prepare meals, but one home cooked meal was as good as another, so simple and quick was the key.

Now that the kids are moved away, I've found I have time and a sincere interest in baking and cooking. In this house, the kitchen isn't the heart of the home, but it's the room my heart feels most at home in. The most important thing for me is that it's a working room.

My house is an old farmhouse, and having a good, solid working kitchen is what would be expected.

Love this thread.

I have a few musings:

A LOT more people have latched on to the notion of Kitchen As Family room like those of breezygirl and marcolo's relatives. This has caused kitchens to evolve to much larger space over the last 10-15 years from the traditional galley or horseshoe with work triangle that dotted the landscape in the 50's-70's. That increased size has also driven up the price.

I disagree that the industry is whispering that you won't be complete without nickel this or subzero that. They are flogging their wares in an attempt to lure buyers and justify their existence. I don't think they play the guilt card anymore or less than car dealers and lifestyle clothing stores like jcrew and ann taylor.

Tastes in kitchens have matured just like those in cars and other consumables. 30 years ago a new car with cloth bench seats, an 8-track stereo and A/C was a nice ride. Now only contoured, massaging, heated and cooled 20 power leather seats, a voice command stereo that integrates with your telephone and calls you when you drive off a cliff while simultaneously rolling up your windows and locking the doors and telling you to wake up- will do. Same with those bargain cashmere sweaters that are now attainable because a sherpa doesn't have to hand harvest the wool from a goat on a mountainside at 12.000ft.

$10 a day seems like good value to me for something like a kitchen that is enjoyable to me an my family and gets used everyday someone is home. I know some that spend about that at starbucks and thats' a solo affair.

HGTV and the rest of the remodel porn on the tube is not designed to be informative in the least. It's entertainment catering to the "lifestyle" as macybaby puts it. They need to be controversial to keep you interested/entertained and justify their existence. Even the grandaddy of the format - This Old House, has started to sell out to product placement and grand projects with uber kitchens and computer controlled lighting systems. Those 3/2 salt boxes in rough and tumble Boston aren't bringing in the viewers anymore.

To those that get sticker shock - is the industry just doing a poor job communicating costs or are consumers just caught up in the hype?

I love this thread actually. There is a lot of depth here that makes me feel more comfortable with my choices in the kitchen.

Thoughts on money: Yes, we spent more money than I wanted to. But we stopped at my sane point, only spent money we had and did not finance anything so it does not linger for me. I was crazy about it a few days ago when it was new and scary, but now I signed the contracts and paid out all the deposits so mentally I have moved on. In my heart its gone.

Thoughts on kitchen as heart and home: I think those are words not from those who want me to buy the most expensive items, but words from inside myself that also say make cake for birthdays, dungeness crab and white wine is the perfect date food, and MUST mark every major life stage from christenings to funerals with casseroles and pies. That's the part of me that makes coffee with such relish and comfort that when I grind the beans and pour the water over the coffee instantly I feel my shoulder and neck muscles relax and anticipate the comfy chair nearby. Those are the voices that associate food, coffee, and water with love, memory and time.

I forgot about that emotional part trying to think about switch placement, but I remembered it when I was struck by panic throwing out kids papers and old tupperware parts yesterday. Building this kitchen is a metaphor that parallels my life right now. These are the things I can throw away because they don't hold or save the experiences for me. But this kitchen we are building from the bones of the old space is the way we are building our new lives together for the way we live now.

We may choose new finishes but it doesn't erase the last 25 years, or the life we had before that. They will make me happy and be functional for who we are now and what we need. The kitchen reflects our hearts in our home.

I love this thread too! I have learned a lot here...

As a "noncook," I guess I never realized how different a kitchen can be to someone who is. Though I have been known to set frozen pizzas on fire in the oven, I do make a mean bowl of ramen noodles. :P

Perhaps this is why I have trouble comprehending a massively expensive remodel, though I have full respect for what you are doing, and it sounds like you are approaching it from a healthy perspective.

Mad respect, Martha, and best of luck! I hope you share pictures of during and after.

I did give you guys the number didn't I? I read a post a week or so ago that wanted some idea of how others spent their money and if there amount was in the realm of possibility. I noticed people don't really talk about prices much here. It's too hard to compare jobs, I think.

But if you wonder where I spent the money here is some info:

First, I made an excel spread sheet and listed everything from the first cabinet pull and test paint quart to the pots and pans I needed to supplement my tools with switching to an induction cooktop (we have no AC and it gets hot in the summer, this is better for us than gas for that reason alone). This helped me stick to a budget and know what I was and still am spending.

There are no hidden costs here. I even counted the sample glass tiles I picked up when looking for tile.

The cost of the granite installed was less than $40 per square foot plus 9 feet of back and sidesplash on the peninsula (no charge), marble stackstone tile for $15 per sq foot installed. Paint, landscaping and railings are cost only: that's my contribution since these are my skill areas.

All the appliances and hardware were my finds and I have good prices on 90% of that, the oven notwithstanding where I went over budget (*heavy sigh, but I do like it*).

The cabinets and labor are a big deal and I could have done it in three stages over the next 3 years, but we decided as a family not to do that. I could have made far less expensive choices in that I could have gone for standard depth cabinets, but I wanted enough storage and few upper cabinets without doing an addition or losing glass to see the family outside. You can get lovely cabinets for less.

The cost of a cabinet maker doubles the cost of the most expensive thing in the remodel and is 40% of the total cost.

In the interest of full disclosure regarding labor (35% of the cost):

1. We opened up an exterior wall and are building a deck that is three steps off the ground and meets code (outside lighting, clearance, footers all that jazz).

2. We had fuses in the panel and according to one of the electricians had only 60 amps total in the house (I thought it was 100) with only a single true grounded circuit. The upgrade in wiring and the service change to bring the house from the 1950s into 2010 is a set cost and when all is said and done that will be about $5000. Its not just the panel, its the splices in the house, wires and poles on the roof, replacing some trouble areas with work in crawl spaces and the attic.

3. We removed part of a support wall, put in a beam/header, closed up a door and are building in a wall, moving pocket doors and removing a window and putting in a new one elsewhere. This makes existing space more usable and energy efficient.

4. We are laying a wood floor in 2 rooms to match the rest of the house for my daughter who has restrictive lung disease and would love to say goodbye to carpet when she is home - that's a bit pricey and none of it can be done by me.

5. Putting in a sink, moving a sink and repairing floor, subfloor and moving a lot of electrical.

6. Removing a large brick inside grill that can't be used and lets in rodents.

Plus, we are in the San Francisco Bay area where an 1800 sq ft home goes for astronomical rates AND we are really remodeling parts of 4 rooms and an area outside with permits, insurance and all that jazz. I also had about $1000 of consultation fees with architects and designers after drawing up detailed plans to confirm choices and look for more efficient ways to accomplish our goals.

This has sure gone way OT hasn't it! But very interesting. I've been reflecting on this thread since I finished my post yesterday and the tears stopped.

I think Mirz hit the nail on the head. Your view of the kitchen depends on how you use it. I've been a SAHM for a year now so I spend even more time in the kitchen than ever. For those who have a passion for cooking and spend hours a day in the kitchen (like me), it isn't just a room where food is prepared. It means much more than that. So maybe spending the amount of money we spend around here on an average new kitchen seems more worth it than to someone who doesn't have the same view of their kitchen.

BTW, I did Antss math. $10/day x 365 days x 30 years (the minimum number of years I expect to live in this house) = $109,500. That's almost as much as we're spending on our whole house remodel, including kitchen. Seems right to me. Interesting if I did the math on what it would cost per hour I spend in the kitchen.

marthasdream! - If I can't find a good home for it, its okay to put it in a box and let the gatherers take it away (we have gatherers in the neighborhood that drive by and take everything)....It's the throwing things away we have had for 30 years that are dented and well used that I no longer need but I wish I could find a home for that apparently is the tough part for me. I did not know I was a hoarder until this moment. --

HELLOOOOO!! here I am with hands outstretched for your well used 30 year old stuff. Take a wander through the "vintage" catagory at eBay and see why it's costing me as much to buy back my childhood as remodel my bathroom. There's a tablecloth I really, really want but twice it's gone for more than I can spend. Maybe next time. BTW I NEED a cake pan with snap on lid. New, they're $6 on sale. I can't find one at Salvation Army or second hand store.
What dianalo said, exactly. Whoever said money can't buy happiness had more money than they needed. My new kitchen- All $8,000 worth of it- makes me smile just to think about it. My old kitchen was falling apart and so chopped up it wasn't user friendly. I intend to stay here until I die and it would not have been with that kitchen! I have a splurge. My huge sink. LOVE it. Today I was baking. All the dirty dishes fit. I had the dishwasher going and a new pile started in the sink. I could never have done that in the old kitchen nor would I have had the urge to do it. That kitchen was awful. and like macybaby My house is an old farmhouse, and having a good, solid working kitchen is what would be expected. I couldn't even get my 42 inch oak table in there without it blocking a "hallway". It lived in my garage for 6 years. The kitchen I had in the '70's was the neighborhood kitchen. But now everyone works and no one gathers during the day. That kitchen was tiny and yet I did cook and bake. The layout was adequet and I used the table as a work surface.

I wonder if the money source plays a more significant role than anyone has suggested. I didn't have to borrow although I hurt my retirement fund by using some of that money. On the other hand, after the stock market took a dive, it was already hurt and I had nothing to show for it. At least now I have a kitchen and bathroom with a walk in shower.

$5 grand for an entire electrical upgrade? Not only is that a deal, but I think it's practically insane for SanFran. So much so that I'd probably check it again.

Does that include new wiring inside the house, or at least to the new kitchen circuits? Is the PoCo picking up part of the tab?

@antss, that's about right for the Bay Area, I think---at least it's about what we and our neighbors paid for the same work with different electricians (a bit more actually, but we did it three years ago). If I'm reading the post right, she means that's the cost for the new panel and service from the street, and the related wiring modifications---not for rewiring outlets or adding new circuits. Our electrician charged per point for the outlets/circuits/etc. The one we used the first time around was $115/point, if I remember; this time it was $65/point but that was by far the lowest bid we got.