Deep breaths!!!

Question to you. If someone else had come onto houzz before you started your build and said exactly what you said above, would you have listened to them? ;)

ha probably not - and I actually don't think that I really had that many alternatives, myself.

Hopefully with some of the contract language I can at least serve as a warning to others. And THAT I certainly would have listened to...

Jannicone I feel for you, I really do. We're owner builder and my husband had been in the construction business for 25 years before we moved here but that was there and this is here and he's operating without any of the people he knows and trusts. The stress is extreme and taking a toll.

I think many that GC their own home underestimate the enormity of the task and the skills that an excellent GC possesses. they earn every dime of that percentage. At least you hired a skilled superintendent to help you manage your subs.

im so sorry that you are going through this stress. What a pain.

Once you get past the wall stage and get this sub contractor out of your hair do you think it will get any better?

THANK YOU ALL for the support. There's a lot of backstory here - and right now it's been particularly stressful time for us - between the cost overruns, the VERY BAD BEHAVIOR of the wall contractor causing HUGE delays, I have been struggling with my mother in physical rehab / almost losing her / going every day to try to get her going / keep her going (she's home and doing well now, but it's still rather tenuous on long term viability of her maintaining) and then today my dog gets a cancer diagnosis.

I try to keep a decent attitude and I also realize that I could walk away from this entire thing and be okay. yeah - money lost - but we'd recover and be fine. So it's "first world problems" which is about the only thing that is keeping me a little sane.

Will it get better? Maybe. Well yes - but there will still be challenges with budget - but we CAN deal with that - maybe in not the most optimal way - but when some folks don't know where their next meal is coming from - it's hard to complain much. Hubby and I differ in our approaches - and his perfectionism is challenging and has only been magnified through this process. I am more of an "85% and get it done" person which is a bit more suited to the construction process. LOL

I am working hard to keep it all in perspective - but will have to make some changes going forward. I know I/we are competent and we can get through this - but I will tell you it's been an amount of stress that I am not managing all that well (even though we custom built our existing home 19 years ago) and something that I probably could to have predicted.

Ok so after the deep breaths, pour the wine. Lots of it. :)

And realize it's "just a house" even if it is your dream house. Hold on to what is important.

So sorry about your Mom. I understand all too well about having to care for aging parents and how difficult it can be.

And very sorry about your dog's diagnosis.

I understand. Mom also at home with full time caregiver and adore my pooches.

im so sorry. ((((Hugs))))

Thank you Jannicone that in the middle of all your stress you took time to share advice on my house plan. All good things come with challenges as well as joys. Blessings as you press on!

Your kindness is inspiring - thanks all.

And the dogs carcinoma is VERY slow growing - so we can try oral chemotherapy before we would move to something more definitive / radical like amputation. Overall - she's a tough old bird (14 years on Saturday!) and we'll get through this as a team.

House stress is one thing, life stress is something else but juggling both together makes for a big challenge. Hopefully things will stabilize with your mom and your dog for a bit and you'll be able to coast and catch your breath.

I'm with you on the sub contractors. We contracted our house out ourselves and I don't think I would do it again. I majored in construction management in college and manage very large commercial and industrial projects (high rises condos, parking garages, etc) for a living, but residential construction is a completely different world. Many of the subs we used were unprofessional, unreliable, and did not schedule their time or resources well. They also did not follow instructions, even written ones and they were the best residential guys in the area. We had contracts with most of them, but truthfully they didn't know what they were signing, and we tried to avoid legal battles because of the time and resources it would take. It all worked out in the end and we got our dream house. Just take it one day at a time.

I can't imagine. I just have a remodeling project and I have a GC and I'm still losing my mind. I also have a lot of family problems that have come up during this ordeal and it truly is incredibly stressful.

Glad your mom is better but I'm so sorry about your pup.

So sorry. Try to hold the line on cost and keep moving forward.

Good luck.

Jannicone, my thoughts are with you!

Things I would change if I could go back would definitely include a fixed budget. Also a "schedule" - as our builder is awesome at getting great subs, who have all been wonderful to work with - but he sometime forgets to get things ordered in time.... Like the rock we're waiting on to finish! I also wouldn't let trim go up before being stained, and having the walls painted. I don't care what anyone says, including the trim guy - it's absolutely absurd not to stain the trim and paint the walls, before putting the trim up.

Every day as our construction goes along relatively smoothly I thank my wife for slapping some sense into me when I was thinking about GC'ing it ourselves.

Planning is 90% of the battle! Without a set of full plans they have you right where they want you. HVAC plans and specs? Plumbing and electrical plans and specs?

This has nothing to do with planning or specs. We'd signed off on a full set of shop drawings with them over a year ago and released them to manufacturing. There have been no changes. Both HVAC and plumbing contractors are ready to go. This is a morally bankrupt contractor who signed some modifications to our agreement with no intention of fulfilling them - that's fraud. And they did it to get money - ostensibly to fund the deployment of our exterior panels - and that has not occurred. Terribly difficult to prove fraud, but that's what they did.

Is this a foundation contractor [superior walls] that you have issues with? Or is your entire house uses pre-cast walls? If you are GCing why in the world would you be using this. There are plentiful of resi framers. I am assuming you paid deposit that they want to keep, am I correct. Rule #1 of residential construction: never pay anything upfront. They should be required to deliver to your site prior to any payment released. Add escape legal clause like you stated "Time is of the essence" should be included on every contract.

Precast insulated panel wall system. The panels are all completed, we're battling over installation. We're a LEED Platinum house and we plan zero 2x4 or 2x6 type construction. Many things have taken longer than expected - and we released some money with a decent contract with timelines for deployment. they failed to meet them - so we're engaging an attorney. We didn't have much of a choice - and of course - now, here we are.