Height of the ceiling is not in your post..... From our experience it is all about the crown moulding and how the cabinets tie into the ceiling.

9' ceilings and here's a pic of the current cabinrts and crown molding

GO TO THE CEILING! What can I say, I'm passionate about that :-) I have a transitional kitchen with shaker cabinets and a very simple molding that makes the kitchen look more modern. Cabinets that don't go to the ceiling (minus very high ceilings) look stock and poorly planned. Also, think of all the storage you lose. Photo is of my kitchen (8ft ceiling)

Also, you can also mix up the shaker doors a little bit. I did flat sides and a beveled top and bottom (easier to clean and kept the doors from looking too country for me). Work with your cabinet company to customize the kitchen. They should be able to show you samples/ideas that will give you that more informal feel. Whatever you do, don't get a fancy molding. Mine is simply 2 inches tall and flat, square edge. Good luck!

Have you seen pictures where the cabinets are to the ceiling, but at the top, they use a 12" (?) cabinet horizontally? The door is shaker style with glass and a lighted interior.