Well...

1. He's stalling. He doesn't want to move to Washington with you. He just doesn't know how to tell you.

2. He doesn't have any spare time to do the work. His regular job takes him so many hours, after which he's exhausted. Maybe sell the house "as is."

3. He's lazy and incompetent.

Thank you, I appreciate your input.

You asked "What is the average time a house should take to prep for sale?" In my area, the time varies from a couple weeks (almost no one can manage that) to six months or a year. People who are preparing to retire and downsize may take a couple years. My estimate for my area is that the average is probably about three months.

Other comments:

1- When there's a deadline such as a new job starting on the first of September, people move fast. No deadline, no motion.

2- Many people who are fixing up a house for sale find that they have to do the work themselves on weekends and evenings after their regular jobs. A common rule of thumb is that if it takes an experienced pro an hour to do something, it will take the average inexperienced homeowner three hours. It's a lot of work to clean, repair, paint, and so on. Sometimes you have to get permits, and in some area, that means taking off time from work.

3- Making big changes such as putting in an entirely new concrete floor in the garage requires hiring pros and scheduling several days of work on the house, not at your regular job. You also need to have money in hand to pay the pros.

Agree with both comments above. jn3344 was a little blunt, but honest. apple_pie_order's post gives good clarification. I work with people all the time that are prepping their homes for sale. For some, they are organized and efficient and hire pro's for some/most of the prepping. For others, they take their time because the decision to move is an uncertain one. Two years is a long time. It isn't unusual for some people to take 3 to 4 months to prep for a normal sale. Some take a year to prep.

BTW, I'm in Florida but I have a couple of clients in Pennsylvania area - where I understand the real estate market is hot right now.

Doesn't really sound like a real estate question. Sounds like a relationship question.

Has he been planning on moving (but hasn't) for two years? Or has he just been working on the house for two years and only been 'planning to move' for the past couple of months or so?

If it's the first, then he has no intention of moving. That's a long, long, long distance relationship. Do you guys actually ever see each other? I hope you haven't been sending him money to aid in his "renovations".

right question to ask, greg and Lynn

Thank you I appreciate everyone's comments.

To clear things up, we made an agreement that 2 years would be sufficient if not, more than enough time to prep the house for sale. Granted he has been doing 98% of the work himself in his free time, which is limited to some evenings and most weekends. He has been trying to save money and do most of the work himself. He is very particular with the work he does, especially the finishing work. He admits he may have spent more time than needed on certain projects. He realizes houses in Washington State are more expensive than real estate in Pennsylvania, so he would like to get the most out of his home, while keeping a mortgage less than 10 years to pay off. The one thing that worries me is that he lives is a wooded area, which many people are attracted to, yet he is surrounded by high voltage power lines, the nuclear plant less than a mile away, as well as a new gas plant being built a couple Miles's in the other direction. I am afraid after all the work and time he has put in, that he may not sell for his asking price. I am glad to hear the market is hot in PA, that's reassuring. I just hope he has it ready for the market in the next couple months before winter sets in. Btw, 2 years will be up next January.

This move has been planned since February 2016,

Thank you!

forgive me this seemingly unrelated question..what's his occupation?

(I'm a wife of an engineer..hence the question..)) some folks are just perfectionists. it might be the case here. and it is really hard to remodel stuff when you have other job.

having said that-the only exception my husband has, to his habits of taking his time-it's when it concerns me lol.

but everybody's different.

did you try to suggest to him to hire help?

such people can be fiercely independent though..like hiring help will diminish them or something..

try to convince him

well men in general..don't like asking for directions even. hell my DH even refused to use GPS. and didn't want to drive anything but this hand ..whatever the term ..vehicle. I told him "why do you drive a car at all? a real man should ride a horse!"

well he appreciated the joke but still drove the same car(nothing against it but it also didn't have AC, so one can faint in summer..or CD thing..or anything actually), until the car stopped one day. then he very reluctantly, and for a looong time, was choosing something else..

in short. you know him. we don't. no it shouldn't take that long to prepare the house for sale, but it obviously does, for whatever reason, and frustrates you. communicate and figure out where you stand.

maybe his secret wish is for you to move with him? he's making the house nicer for you, subconsciously?

I don't know

My only suggestion though-I usually start with good possible motives that drive people. Might be grave mistake sometimes (and was), but under usual circumstances -trust until you can't.

I like that -- trust until you can't.

My dad was a perfectionist and didn't want to have help with the house that he was extending. For one thing, he would have to tell them every little thing so he may as well do it himself. And when the work is being fitted in, on what's left of a weekend for example, when dealing with this and that, it takes a long time.

Two years (but it's really only 18 months so far, isn't it?) doesn't sound a long time to me.

Dad never did finish the house...

Yes I believe he is a perfectionist looking for every nook and cranny out of whack, or should i say needing repair, or should I say possibly not needing repair. After all he is an Insurance Adjuster. His profession requires he searches for every little detail as minor as it may be. Hmmm, it's all making sense now.

i suggested he hire someone, and did not like that.

I appreciate everyone's input. It certainly puts some perspective on this.

To answer a question earlier from Greg, yes we fly back and forth several times a year to visit until he moves here permanently.

I would strongly recommend he speaks with a realtor to get an idea as to how much difference in selling price he would receive for improvements on the home. I would think that the location near a nuclear plant and soon to be gas-fired generator plant would automatically reduce the number of potential buyers significantly. Are the ones left looking for a) a 'normal' house for the area which is priced cheap b/c of the location, in which case he risks overimproving the house or b) a 'great' house for the area priced like a normal one which has a better location, in which case he needs to improve it to that level to have the best chance at a timely sale. In either case, I'm guessing the sale process will take a lot longer than he thinks, and substantially longer than you are seeing in the hot markets of the Pacific NW.

I'm sorry, but I see danger signals. In my opinion and experience, if he truly wanted to be with you he would move mountains.

Agreed.

Honestly I do agree with Suzieque and cupofkindness.

Plus if he takes another six months to finish and say he does finish by February 2018, that means he still has to put it on the market and sell it. Putting a house on the market in February in PA is not a good idea. You want to wait until the chance of major storms is over and when you can photograph the house with the pretty flowers blooming.

However, I'm guessing there will be more excuses. I could be wrong since I'm not in your shoes. However the market is hot now. It may not be a year from now. Then what?

Being in limbo like you are for another year or who knows how long, is not the way to live.

There was an experiment that was done many, many years ago with birds (Nowadays it wouldn't be allowed). They were all taught to peck on a lever and a food pellet would come down. Then they were put into three groups.

The first group continued to get a pellet every time they pecked on the lever. They came and went as needed to get food and remained healthy.

In the second group, the food stopped coming. So no matter how often they tried to peck on the lever, nothing came out. Eventually they went and found other sources of food and remained healthy.

The third group wound up getting intermittent pellets. They could peck say 2x and get a pellet, or peck 20 times before they got a pellet, or sometimes even more times. This third group wound up wasting away and dying because they stayed around continually pecking at the lever hoping to get a pellet.

Right now, you're like the third group of birds. When you see your love, (or talk to him on the phone or however) you get reinforcement, but the rest of the time it's like you're pecking away and nothing is happening. How long will you be willing to put up with that?

I think if it were me, I'd give him an ultimatum if you truly want to live with him full-time. Put it on the market now, and let's get our lives started, or let's end it now.

One of two things will happen. He'll realize you're right, get it on the market and move out to be with you full-time and you'll both be happy pecking on the lever when needed.

Or you'll wind up like the second group. Disappointed and upset at first but eventually realizing you can find what you need and/or want elsewhere.

Thank you, I appreciate your opinion! Great information from everyone, I will take this seriously into consideration. Sometimes I need some blunt and direct advice from those than can be objective.

(Slot machines in casinos operate on the principle of intermittent reinforcement.)

Kathy best of luck to you and please let us know what transpires. I'm personally hoping Im wrong and that he realizes he needs to be with you..

here's another thought... we have to prep our house for sale. Hubby is "very particular". I am not. He's 110%, I am 85%. He's 2 years, I am 2 weeks. There's time and a place for both types. He gets to design airplanes, I get to make house selling decisions. LOL

Friend is Realtor.

When we talk about getting the house ready, and we talked about painting, and hubby said "I don't like that", I said "you don't matter, the house belongs to the market now".... Realtor friend high fived me. (It was all in good fun)

But- the point is - making house marketable is often different than "redoing" a house by the homeowner. The fact that hubby likes the low maintenance of the light grey weathering oil on our cedar siding is irrelevant if MOST people would prefer the LOOK of a different (higher maintenance) color.

He may be over improving and doing this to much too high a standard. Most people are like me - 85%-ers.

Well received, Thank you, makes sense

I started finishing my basement when my wife was pregnant with our first child. Fortunately I got contractors to do most of the work. My brother helped me with vinyl floors, and tile work in the bathroom.

And ... time passed. Guess what, my daughter is 10 years old, and my son is 9 years old ... and still need some items to finish.

Some times just bite the bullet - get the pros to do the job - it will save you time, which you could spend together. The quality of work would be some much better.