I'm so sorry. I also think it is time. We just helped one of ours over the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.

My only regret is that I did not do at the beginning of the week when she stopped eating on Monday night and when I put her by her food she just stared at the wall. I knew in my heart that it was time then but by Tuesday morning she had rallied a bit and when the vet came to the house in the afternoon she was doing OK other than no appetite.

I don't think she was in pain but simply tired and her body was giving out from dealing with thyroid and kidney issues.

My heart goes out to you, yes its probably the hardest decision you will ever make, but only you can make that decision, when my 17 year old cat started getting really frail and loosing weight I knew the time was coming, that day came when she got on my lap and looked at me like she had never done before and I knew it was time, the following day we took our last journey to the vets office, I knew she was then at peace running free at The Rainbow Bridge.

Chris, many here know what you are going through with your precious companion. It’s heartbreaking.

Your cat Is in bad shape with multiple issues which will require a lot of care and attention ongoing. Her behavior is very concerning, not eating, clawing you, peeing outside the box, lethargic. She is uncomfortable at best. Caring for a cat with diabetes and kidney failure is a challenge.

We waited too long for our kitty, and it’s not a happy memory. Even when the vet said it’s time, one family member insisted on taking the cat home even tho the vet said it was selfish, and it was.

I must agree with others here, seems your time is close.

My suggestion is to read up on the benefits of feeding a carb-free wet food diet - a diet of dry high carb diet can be major factor in both kidney and diabetes. Yes of course you need to weigh the possibility of euthanasia, but in my experience this decision becomes much clearer once Ive exhausted all the possibilities. Correction - all the reasonable possibilties - of course none of us would want to keep a beloved kitty suffering just for our sake.

FWIW, I found that my diabetic cat accepted the shots far more easily than pills. These are VERY fine needles that go into the scruff - cat does not see it and the prick feels more like a mosquito bite than the big honkin vaccination shots you get at a doctor. I tested it on myself before giving it to my boy. After a while they learn it makes them feel better and my cat would actually come to me to ask for his shot if I was running late. Check out the forum at felinediabetes.com - one of the best internet communities EVER. Truly amazing- the internet at its best. A lot of people contending w/ multiple diagnosies as well.

Just one more thought. Please do not let anyone tell you you are "selfish". If your vet tells you this, I suggest you find a euathanasia specialist. Its OK and not unusual that people will find someone else for end of life issues. My dear vet must have spent an hour on the phone with me one day while I wept and tried to decide if it was time. A good vet for end of life issues realizes her job is to help the person as well as the animal client.

You willl know your cat and read her signals but even then.... you may find second guessing to be part of your experience.. I will just say personally did not have the happy experience of euthanasia ... My dear vet told me that amongst her clients. about half said they acted too soon the other half said it was too late. She said very few thought it was just right. What that tells us IMHO is that second-guessing is part of the grief process for aLOT of us.... and we should go in knowing that. Best to you as you weigh all the options.l

We just did what we thought best for our purrbaby. He was diagnosed with a cancer that is rare in cats and we figured it's been 10 to 11 months since it started and the prognosis is they can live up to a year We did not want to do it, if it was for us we would have let him be. Cats are good at masking pain though and we knew he had to be in pain, we did what we thought was best for him. I hope you can come to peace with your decision, whatever it is, but if you have any doubts err on the side of peace/comfort for your cat.

This is way past the stage of watching for changes in behavior and reviewing all options. This poor beloved cat is at the end stage, and she is miserable. I'm in my sixties, and I have had pets since I was three or four. I have been down this road before. It hurts, yes, but it's what we sign up for when we adopt a pet. It is our obligation to that pet to protect it and to not let it go through hell. In my life I have had two regrets pertaining to putting pets to sleep. One is that the first time it happened, the vet told me to leave her, and I did. Never did I or would I do this again. The second regret was not for having done it too soon, but for having waited too long and let my beloved pet experience pain, confusion, incontinence, loss of the joy of life.

So sorry you are experiencing this.

I have encountered this issue many times professionally and within the past month, personally.

My situation involved a 12 year old dog (Shepard/Lab). We thought her issues were due to abscessed teeth. She also had a fatty tumor on her back that was monitored on a regular basis and not a problem.

For numerous reasons, surgery was delayed. A few hours after we take her in for ultrasound, EKG and surgery, vet calls and informs me that my completely wonderful dog is full of cancer and that if we bring her home, she will be a hospice situation. We did. Her situation rapidly declined.

Three days later we had to make an awful decision to let her go, but one that was under our control which is very important to us. For three awful days I had nightmares about rushing her to an emergency facility in the middle of the night in awful pain.

A lot to adjust to especially when we thought we would have her a few more years after what everyone initially thought was going to be relatively minor surgery.

I always state that this is an individual thing to be dealt with. You are going to deal with it differently than anyone else.

I have consulted with a vet for many years and she always asks a first question: Is the situation a life or death one? To me that brings everything in to focus.

Is your cat happy? Will she ever again be able to do cat things that she enjoys?

BTW. The shock for us was so awful that our lives were completely turned around. We now have a two month old rescue puppy running around the house. A pleasant diversion.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind words and support. I was worried that I might be berated for being an incapable pet owner. I do blame myself for not keeping a closer eye on her weight or see her constant demands for food as a sign that something is wrong.
I was able to get some food into her today. Like Current Resident suggests, my vet gave me a new formula of wet food and she had some of that. She's sneezing and I wonder if she just can't smell the food enough to be interested.
(Here's an idea. To increase the food smell, put the cold cat food on a saucer, then slip that saucer into a sandwich bag. Pour hot water over the baggie for a minute to heat the food up.)

I'm going to have another chat with my vet next week. She's been very supportive and I don't feel pressured either way.

I have found some articles online, apparently by vets, who seem to think some clients put down their pets too soon just to avoid the complications that arise with palliative care. That isn't my intent, nor is this a financial burden. This kitty has cost me very little over the years and she's worth a bit of expense now. I just want her to be pain free and content for as long as possible.

Again, thank you, everyone. I do feel a bit better knowing that others understand this.

it would take a cold-hearted person to not understand what you are going through. i have been down this road too many times to count with many, many dogs. my philosophy is that i would rather do it a week too soon than a day too late. i have had dogs euthanized on an emergency basis a couple of times but most often, it is when their quality of life is beginning to ebb.

i don't wait for them to experience unbearable pain. i don't WANT my pets to have pain. as it is for dogs, i'm sure it's the same for cats in that they "live in the moment". they do not fear death. when one of my past great dane boys was diagnosed with bone cancer, it was only 6 weeks until i laid him to rest. i wanted him to die a happy boy, not a boy consumed with pain and poor quality of life. since he was beyond any semblance of a cure and amputation would have been impossibly hard on him at 9 years old, i could not see the point in letting him linger just because i could not stand the thought of losing him. another past dane was euthanized when her arthritis got so bad, she no longer wanted to go for walks or car rides, her 2 favorite things.

i'm so sorry you have to go through this but i totally understand your feelings and how you might question your decision. try to put yourself in her place and ask yourself, would you want to continue on? wishing you peace and should you decide it is time, or when you do, wishing your sweet kitty a peaceful journey over the bridge. <3

Check out the feline Yahoo groups for those conditions for information , ideas, tips, and to help you with decisions.

Chris-

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can totally relate from both sides of this.

On the one hand, I had a kitty with kidney disease and other issues - I felt we waited to long to let him go.

On the other hand, I have another (current) kitty who has had such a laundry list of health issues. I will spare you the list. Several years ago he was diagnosed as diabetic. I also did not think I could do the shots. Once I learned, it really was not as big a deal as I expected. Meanwhile I also did a complete switch from dry food to low carb wet (still do this today). I live and die by this chart:

Cat Food Chart

I stick to foods under 10 carbs.

In a few months I was able to get him off the insulin and he has been in control ever since.

I don't want to encourage you to keep kitty alive too long, but don't let the treatment piece scare you off. You would be amazed how much you and kitty are capable of.

Unfortunately for me, my kitty now has chronic pancreatitis. I have to administer about 7 different meds each day (pills, liquids, you name it, most 2X per day). When this started almost 2 years ago I remember thinking that there was NO way I could do this. Here we are 2 years later and it really is manageable (albeit crazy). With his meds he is pretty much fine. And he is THE sweetest cat ever so it is worth the effort to me.

Good luck!

Thank you to everyone.
Miss Nellie gave up the fight and completely stopped eating. (What worked best for a little while anyway was rice and chicken baby food mixed with Iams pate which she would lick off my fingers, refusing her bowl)

We suspect that her teeth were a big part of the problem but her vet did not want to sedate her to work on them because of her other problems. It was just a perfect storm.

I decided to make that final trip to the vet which was of course horrific. I'm so glad that my clinic is wonderfully compassionate and this was far more stressful for me than to Nellie. She went quietly and easily.

I received a sympathy card from the clinic a few days later in which they included a card with Nellie's pawprint on it. What a wonderful gesture (if a little disconcerting, since they would have taken this after Nellie was gone). I don't plan to adopt another pet anytime soon but when I do I will most certainly go back there.

I'm very grateful for the advice and support I received here.

What I've learned is to keep an eye on your cat's teeth!. I used Dentabytes treats for a long while but they do NOT prevent tooth and gum disease.

I am so, so sorry.

If she can get another year or so WITH treatment, should I not give that a try?

If that treatment means torturing your cat twice a day every day with injections, and she refuses to eat, then you will come to a decision on your own. I believe in trying everything - within limits. I would never make an animal go through prolonged suffering, even if that meant survival on the other side of that ordeal. In this case "the other side of that suffering" is death.

No one can tell you what to do here, but I don't think you're looking for that. I've faced it recently, and it's not pretty and it hits you in the gut. Dying is ugly. Sometimes fighting for them means knowing when to let go. It's a fight until that day comes.

We have to remember that we're companions for these animals while they're here; we don't own them and they're not "ours." Consult with your vet, and know your limits of care.