Wow, that's generous. I might consider a $100 tip as a final "thank you" but I guess that might depend on how much you typically give for holiday bonuses and such. We have 3100 sq ft and it costs about $120/month (1x) - we give a bit more at Christmas, but that's it.

I would just explain that you are heading in a different direction, you appreciate her work over the years, please accept $XXX/X as a thank you gift, and good luck.

Just be matter-of-fact and final about it.

I'd be blunt and say that you've decided to take over the cleaning yourself now that your schedule allows it. I wouldn't offer more than 2 weeks' extra payment. But I've never employed a maid service, so maybe I'm way off base. You're no longer getting the quality of service you've been paying for, and it's negatively affecting your life. Cut ties as simply and quickly as possible.

I've had to do this. You really don't owe her an explanation. Giving her $1,000 is very generous.

I would say my situation has changed and I'm not needing your services any longer. One weeks pay I feel is more than enough.

What you are feeling is guilt. She has been with you a long time but she has moved on when she took that full-time job.

Does she have a key or an access code to your house? If so, change them immediately, especially if the "buddy" may also have access. Then send the text or email.

I think $1000 is too much - 2 weeks pay is plenty unless you have a contract of some sort.

If she asks for a reason why, you can go into minimal detail about things being broken and schedule not working for you, not to mention the buddy, about whom you don't seem comfortable.

It is difficult but it is business. Your needs have changed/are changing and you no longer require her services. You should be prepared if she asks for a reference if you are willing to entertain that. Based on recent incidents - do you feel comfortable referring her to others? If you feel you wish to give her a reference perhaps provide it in writing when you send her the final funds you plan to pay her.

I've had a similar situation and found I had to keep discussion minimal and just end it. No good can come of belabouring this with her. But ensure you protect your house prior to releasing her.

I think $1000 is overly generous, $500 is still generous & fair. I work for a small company, we had layoffs & folks got 2-weeks pay. Stinks but them are the breaks. Don't look at it as a firing & maybe you'll feel better. Maybe have her come one more time to clean and when she finishes explain you won't be needing her anymore, give her a card thanking her for many years of dedicated service but your situation has changed and you no longer need her help - along with the $500. Her daughter can translate if she's confused. Keep it short, sweet, simple & professional. Then change the looks.

Can you give her a Thank You card as well and a short, a appreciative note saying you no longer need her because you are selling? Her daughter can translate later.

Her situation has changed, so has yours. Time for a parting of the ways without any lengthy explainations or acrimony. As mentioned,make sure you have all keys and codes before the split. I think 1K is about right in this situation and yes, I would put it in a pretty card.

This is Mary, who posted the original post. I am hesitant to give her a card of explanation in front of her helper because I want this discussion to be private between my housekeeper and me. If I give her a card with no previous explanation (i.e., a text), the helper will translate it immediately. I don't like the helper at all (I think she is not always truthful and there are other issues that make me feel that she is sneaky and disrespectful) and really, really want her to be a non-factor in this matter. I am sure they will talk about me later and that's okay, to be expected, etc.

I actually am very relieved to hear that most folks wouldn't give $1,000. I really don't have that kind of money and it is a major sacrifice. I was worried from reading some other boards that I was really short-changing her if I didn't give her $2,250 (a week's salary times 10 years), which I definitely don't have (she really is being fired, not retiring). I am not certain if I will give that amount or $500, but I do know I don't want her cleaning the house again because I don't want the buddy bashing up my walls and furniture even one more time AND I have nothing but meetings for the next two days. They are very disruptive together and I've already gotten a nasty-gram from my boss about the background noise with me working from home. I don't want to start having to work from the office again!

I am feeling bad about this because she's just purchased her first house, her first new car, has two little kids, etc., so I know that she depends on the (to me considerable) money that I give her every week (which was fine when my house always looked like a model home and I could devote spare time to picking up extra work). And Christmas is coming...she always got a bonus of $400 or so. I was thinking--would I hire her today given the current job she and her friend do and the schedule she can work? And that answer is no. And while I am obviously not responsible for her bills, as her employer for many years I want her to do well. I plan to text her tonight and tell her that our situation is changing, that we are about to put this house on the market and will be handling cleaning another way, but I so appreciate the years of service and will pay her for tomorrow and for the rest of the month (she can pick up the check tomorrow or I can mail it to her--she will choose to pick it up). She doesn't have a key to this house, so all I have to do is change the garage code.

Really, without the language barrier, all of this would have been said a month ago :-)

$1,000 is generous and kind. Terminate and a thank you. Just add that your situation is changing. Wish her good luck in her new endeavors. There’s no easy or comfortable way to do it.

I completely understand the guilt you're saying you feel, but you need to let it go. There has been property damage, subpar cleaning, and completely unacceptable behavior that has affected your WORK-- grab ahold of your indignation if it helps you rip this bandaid off faster! They are hurting your livelihood and not earning your money! Good riddance! Send the text TODAY. Be specific about NO FURTHER SERVICES NEEDED. Change the garage code TODAY.

(I talk a big game, but this situation would make me feel terrible, too-- ;) )

You are taking WAAY too much interest/responsibility in her personal life. Let her go as quickly and cleanly as possible.

$1000, in my opinion, is also WAAY too much. She's not really leaving under the best circumstances - after all, you don't think you're getting your money's worth plus your home is getting damaged. Give her one extra week's pay for severance (if you must) and get her gone immediately. Then change the locks/access codes.

Agree with all the others! Hard situation! I’ve also had the same maid for 8-10 years now and think that would be nearly impossible to do. 1-2 weeks and thru text message and also agree just say you’re moving and that’s that. No reason to throw salt into the wounds. Sometimes a lie is better. Good luck!

Ok, this is Mary again. The deed is done, the text is sent. She wrote back that she will thank God every day for having me in her life (which made me teary). It was the right thing but I am still sad. I will pay her for the month and move on to our new life. Thanks so much for the help--it's amazing how people are willing to help others with a tough situation!

Great, @rationalkarma!!

Just curious as to how many who thought a grand too much, have ever cleaned five days a week for a living? For a decade or more, in homes where not so much as a towel can hit a laundry basket, or a dish can find its way to dishwasher.........................

Just wondering. I know many of these ladies. I can tell you the employers of any wouldn't DO the darn job in their own home, let alone that job in the home of another. For any amount of money.

I definitely have never cleaned homes @JAN MOYER, however, the OP listed that performance has dwindled as well as several other grievances that are happening each and every week.

Several months of poor performance by my employer would yield me being terminated, with no notice, and with no pay.

I hear you Lauren. Just consider yourself very lucky, that in a once a month clean you can even find someone to do the task, and that they do it to suit you at that price : ) Lack of performance at more typical jobs will indeed get one fired. Generally after a sit down regarding the performance issue, and with a warning or two, unless theft was involved.

These jobs ( cleaning) have none of the benefits of fuller employment from a single source. Constant schedule jiggling, bending over backwards to accommodate faithful "peeps" , no days of pay when ill, cleaning when very ill. as one simply can not afford the pay loss.......arriving at homes where all cleaning product is on the last drop, despite notes for the homeowner left the last time. I can go on....and on. Or even this: A homeowner "on an important conference call", but UNWILLING to remain in one room, and crapping up the room just cleaned making lunch as the cleaner needs to yet again, shut off a vacuum as he wanders the entire house in an arrogant and thoughtless yet "powerful" manner. Believe that too.

I guarantee you a single week long walk in the shoes of most any residential cleaner would have you kissing the feet of your own. She surely isn't in there for the "fun" of it all.

IMO whatever she would have made this month is what she gets as a goodbye, her work is not up to what it was and too bad but if you do your job you are done in any other work. Make sure all the locks are changed and codes on the alarm before the firing takes place she soulnds really irrisponsible and I would not trust her to not retaliate .I am a bit puzzled why you had her in the first place if you do 1/2 the work she should be doing.

"Seven years, 125 a week, for 4000 sq feet., every week, another 3 years at 225 for 6000!!! " Have at it. Most of you would not.

In fact, had a cleaner said "Tell you what Maam: I will pay YOU 125.00 to stay home and thoroughly clean today. No lunch, no yoga class, no errands......" Just baths and floors and baseboards and stove tops and sinks and all the grunge you can find, anywhere"

No TAKER either : ) lol. Definitely no taker.

Yes, this is OP. I've done it and it was fine, though of course she was sad. I am sad, too. JAN MOYER my housekeeper basically cleaned floors and bathrooms. She was never mistreated and she made nearly $40 an hour. My house gets vacuumed and dusted every day by me; there was never a pot or a dish left out for her to clean. Any mess was cleaned off counters, stove, ovens, etc., by me. I do all my own laundry and polish my own furniture because those tasks can't be accomplished in the amount of time she had available to work in the house. The closets are always neat, with everything put away and I change the sheets every week and launder them. And I work for my living...not a yoga class life by any means. Our house is large because we have a big family, not because we're rolling in money.

She set the prices; she got good bonuses for her birthday and Christmas. She got gifts (very nice gifts) and so did her family. You seem to indicate that I am probably some lazy lady-of-the-manor and my housekeeper was probably somehow put upon and was mistreated, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Plus, she took the job and the money. I can only imagine that she was smart enough to make her own choices about the job; she is very smart and levelheaded. She got paid when she was sick, when I was sick, when she went on vacation, when I went on vacation. I never missed a week paying her and she came every week to a house that was tidy and picked up so that she could concentrate on her job--cleaning. If she came to do an extra task, I paid her $225 for the day. I didn't make her jam it into what she was already doing.

I am moving to a smaller place and we are empty nesters. I can clean myself. I am only going to be living in this state six months a year. Her schedule with her new job (and God bless her for making her life better) doesn't work and her helper does not work up to the same standards as she does (and there have been discussions about that). I care about her and her life, but none of what's going on in my life works with what she needs--either year-round work or her schedule. Moreover, as we sell this house, it will have to be spotless all the time, not just once a week.

It is interesting to hear your perspective. I did not realize housekeepers dislike their employers so much.

They don't dislike the employer , or even the job. They in fact love the people who are considerate, keep their schedules , don't forget to leave a check, say thanks once in a while, and seem to appreciate their efforts despite yes, paying for those.

Seems as if you were indeed...... One of the very good peeps.:)

Wow $40/hour to clean. Some professionals don't make that kind of money. Just think if you paid her cash she probably never paid taxes on that income thus she made even more

Housekeepers do not get the respect they deserve. I hate cleaning my own home - you couldn’t pay me enough to clean someone else’s

Jan

Do not want to get into a pissing contest with you but I do have the right to express my opinion from my experience & knowledge.

PS contrary to your assumption in my locale most will only take cash and do not pay taxes

Not a pro but the most I'd give her two weeks notice and two weeks pay at the same time ... and then NOT not expect her back to work during those two days -- and consider yourself as having been set free.

It is now time to begin preparations for your move. Since the two of you are moving soon, begin now to quit using most of your home after the next thorough cleaning of it to minimize your work load -- dusting will likely still be required. . If you'll be giving family members any of these items, do that now -- don't keep dusting them.

Begin to pack and remove the smaller and more personal items that you will be taking with you when you move and do not want "on display" as your home is shown by your realtor. Number the boxes and keep a list of what is in each numbered box.

When you start the remodel of your smaller home, clue us all in so we can follow your progress.

Who refers to hired help as 'the maid". What year am I in? 1955 or 2019.

Merry Maids.

OP handled this situation much more gracefully than some of the posters on this board are handling the topic.

Even Merry Maids don't refer to their employees as maids.

Broken down into an hourly wage = $40 an hour? Holy cow! I’m a professional (in an entirely unrelated field) but I don’t make that much. I’d clean a house for that and wouldn’t even care if I was called a maid.

Interesting. I've lived in Europe for a time, so have a slightly different perspective. There, when I left, my cleaning lady was entitled to a month's pay for every year of service. $1000 for 10 years service would have been a bargain! The US is of course not Europe, so I have no issue with the different standars in play in this case.

I am a "Housekeeper" of over 25 years, I think you were generous.

However, she is not making $40 an hour as there is 2 of them.

Don't assume we don't pay taxes either.

And a 6,000 Sq ft house! Yikes! Floors are backbreakers!

Jck910, yes I pay taxes.

No, we don't get the respect.

This is slightly off topic, but it bugs me. I've contracted twice with separate people to clean portions of my house. Well, family house that I inherited and am trying to make livable. It needed cleaning of trash, and then fine cleaning after that. In the first case, I hired someone to come out and take the crap and just put it in the dumpster I rented. Second case, I just wanted the lady to clean the fridge (no food inside) and clean the kitchen thoroughly. Both came out to the house, I showed them the job, they looked around, and I told them if they wanted the job, name a price, and we can negotiate. I did not deceive them in what the job entailed; they saw it first hand. Both times, they did only half the job and said they'd come back the next day or week, but then never showed. Hard to find good help.