I had long commutes when I was starting out, young and single. Even then it was a drag. I like driving too, just not in rush hour traffic every single day.

How much are you going to be spending on gas and car maintenance?

What happens when there is road construction and your commute is closer to 5 or even 6 hours?

I think the long commute is an issue for your quality of life ...

Before you make a permanent choice that will affect your quality of life drastically, why not do a trial run? Rent a hotel room in that town for a week and do the commute to work every day. See how "great" it feels after a week? Do you want to do that 5 days a week for years to come?

I agree with renting a hotel room or at least a room but not in the town you wish to live in but the one you are working in. I was hired to replace a person who was doing that for years so his children could live in the country. He would drive in very early Monday then stay to Friday then go home. You probably will need that vacation time to cover the hours that you are late. Also depending on where you are located are you considering bad weather such as snow?

There are probably places closer to your work than 110 miles if you look.

You probably need to re-think through this. If you're going with an FHA loan, that usually means a small down payment. Which means the home purchases is a stretch for you financially

Driving 2 hours each way to work is a stretch too. I drove almost an hour for many years, and hated the days when I would go to an alternative work site that was closer to 90 minutes away. I have worked with people who drove 2 hours each day. It often seemed that their job performance suffered in comparison to others. The boss notices when you fall asleep at your desk.

I would encourage you to rent for another year. That will give you time to save a little more money for the down payment, so you can get something closer to where you live.

I know people who used to drive 2 hours into NYC each day. Every single one ended up doing something different because it was unsustainable.

Just my casual observation, surely not scientific, but it seems anything more than an hour or so never works very long.

I personally value my own time above almost anything else, and lived in a glorified closet for a few years until I could afford something nicer. If you value where you live above your own time, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However you also have to know there will be many days 2 hours can easily stretch into 3 (construction season is now year around, accidents, etc)...and wow 3 hours twice a day seems undoable. To me anyway.

What am I missing here? Why would a lender care how far your commute is? I've never been asked on a loan application, only about employment status.

I drive about 60 miles one-way, takes me around an hour including time to park and walk a couple blocks to the office (no on-site parking). It has its pros and cons. The con is, of course, the time it takes, but this can also be a pro -- I find it gives me time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day, and helps me mentally decompress after work. But there are times I'm so tired after work I have to pull over in a parking lot or rest stop for a quick cat nap, I find myself drifting off - the hum of the engine and the whirring of the wheels seems to lull me. The hours I work means I don't have to deal with traffic, and it's pretty much all expressway -- an hour in the car on the highway is not a deal-breaker for me, but an hour in traffic would be. Bad weather can be an issue where I live, but my managers have been very flexible and have let me work at home on snow days, or I just call in. If you're workplace isn't flexible or job doesn't allow for this, then seriously reconsider if you're in a snowy area.

Consider the cost of the transportation into your equation. Gas prices are on the rise, and you WILL need maintenance on the car more often, and you're going to rack up the miles on your car, further depreciating its value and possibly causing you to need another vehicle sooner.

Getting a cheap rental during the week in the city you'll be working isn't a bad idea and probably won't cost as much as you think after you factor in the transportation costs.

The commute is one of those things you'll have to decide for yourself, there's a lot that plays into it. Honestly, I'm not sure where I'd draw the line for myself, but I highly doubt I'd do the commute you're thinking about. It would affect my quality of life to too great a degree.

I doubt that a week of hotel and drive is quite enough to illustrate the drag on your life that this decision will make. Two weeks and you will regret the decision. My SIL did this for many years, two-hours each way in Washington DC traffic Monday through Friday. It started out as one hour, but they moved the office farther away. She was up before dawn, home after dark. She loved her job, but eventually it became too much. Ten years of doing this. She changed careers.

I get that you want a good quality of life for your family. Lack of time with family and the physical toll that a long commute make on you is wearing and not a good long term solution. It will not promote a good family life. You will spend all your free time on the road. When you are home, you will be too tired to really devote the attention to your family that they require.

Because you are planning on FHA, this means that you may already be stretching your finances in the first place. I would suggest that you stay in your current location for another year of so. Save as much as you can for a purchase and financial cushion. If you are valued employee, you may need to start dropping hints that your current compensation is insufficient for your family and needs to be increased. Your other option is to start looking for a job that is in an area that you can afford and provides good quality of life.

Thank You for the insight everybody! Alot of things to consider that I totally overlooked.

Many neighbors of mine when I lived on Long Island suffered a 2 hour commute to NYC, but at least it was by train, so they could read or sleep.

Not to deny that living together in a small space can be trying, it
absolutely can be - but elbow room does not equal happiness, and when
the extra space comes at the cost of having you around, I can almost
guarantee it will have the opposite effect of what you're hoping for.

Well said, function first.

Sorry if this is harsh but you have a family. That’s 4 hours a day you would voluntarily miss out on time with your kids. Time you can never get back. Whyyyyyyyy.

and 4 extra hours a day you're away from your spouse. And 4 extra hours per day that they would be the sole parent (unless you have other arrangements). That would get old, fast, regardless of if your spouse is working outside of the home or not.

The OP's original question was would a long commute affect FHA loan approval, not is it a good idea. I would never choose a commute of over an hour (actually, anything over 15 minutes is too long). I've always chosen to live near where I work. I know that may be difficult because some people's job locations change more often than their home.

Another issue is the cost of your car….gas (it’s going up), wear and tear from all the driving (loss of trade in value, replacing tires, etc) and the cost of car insurance ( 220 miles a day increases the chance of an accident), so your premium will rise. In a matter of months you will be driving a tired out auto. Breaking down on a rainy day, 50 miles from work won’t be fun.

On a separate note, you say FHA is your only option. I disagree (at least with your information given). Have you looked into HomeReady?

https://www.ovmfinancial.com/homeready/

Thanks for the recommendation @JudyG Designs. I did go read and ask about this program, but at this point, in my situation I am only able to do FHA and USDA. I

When we lived in the DC Metro area, I had a job w/ a 2-hour commute each way. The commuting part was easy because I could take the subway and spend the time reading or working puzzles; however, the loss of 4 hours out of the day put a strain on our relationship. Made it hard for us continue to participate in the separate activities that make life satisfying while also enjoying together time. Dissatisfaction ensued. I switched jobs.