If you want the backsplash to disappear, then match it to your white cabinets. A matte white tile would be worth trying too. It will be hard for us to pick the exact one from photos.

A gray glass large formay tile with matching grout in a gray from the counters or as mentioned a white like the caibinets but I would not try to match nad miss a white .

Perhaps try a white or grey tile. However make sure to get samples and try them with the cabinets and countertops before buying and installing. Below are just a few kitchen designs of ours that might just help you with this dilemma.

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i dont' think i would do white... very difficult to get right with the cabs...if u can find the right shade and u like it, go for it...

maybe a very soft shade of blue to pull in your cabs... but of course it has to be in the same tone as the cabs... a matte tile or satin - light sheen. i would not do a gloss/glass tile

i hesitate to say gray b/c its been done to death.... maybe a gray/blue?

i do like a 6x6 tile... just to get away from a subway...

whatever u choose, have grout to match as close as u can, so the b/s just sits in the background.

bring home lots a samples to see in your space with your lights and natural light.

can you pick the lightest color in the counter [not white] and get samples for the backsplash?