Your cabinets are not that bad, but I can see how you would like to update them.  I don't think a new backsplash will help as it's really the counterparts that are creating more of a problem.  And as mentioned, technically, you already have a backsplash with that 4" border piece.  If you really want to update, I would choose a new lighter/ brighter/ whiter countertop for the perimeter and island, then maybe do a subway tile backsplash.  For the island, I would remove the stepped upper layer and have it be just a larger flat plain, one level island with overhang and get some stools. I think that would be way more bang for your buck ! Good luck!

You have a bcksplash and IMO the sapmles you are trying to make work in now way will work with the cabinets or your counter . Sorry but I have to say you need more than a bacsplash to modernize this space . I think the cabinets are okay for farmhouse but the flooring is a bit of an issue . My suggestion is to first change the lighting to all bulbs LED 4000K then colors at least will be true .IMO changing the counter is not something I would spen money on right now. The cabinets are dated since all those lowers should be drawers . Remove the backspalsh you have and then go with a brown or gray glass subway tile with matching grout do not tile above the backsplash you already have,

​I actually think the hickory cabs look really pretty and fit the modern farmhouse style with it's natural wood warmth. There's definitely examples of this done well.

The darker busy countertops and floor are what don't fit that aesthetic to me.

Definitely no to the herringbone with those busy countertops. The herringbone would look lovely if the counters were a simple white or light cream.

As others said, if you remove the 4" backsplash piece then you can do a simple subway or square tile. (Check out square tiles too just to see how they look with your flooring.) I'd do a light color. If you're keeping the counter then yes, choose a subway or square tile that matches the lightest cream part of the stone. I'd be worried about clashing with that floor though, so try to find something that doesn't fight it.

@modpod As much as i would love a flat larger island, we do not have open space in front of the island to be able to do that. Also counters are out of the budget atm. And i guess i should uave mentioned in my post, i know there is a backsplash . That is coning doen whever we put a new one up

I agree. remove the backsplash and do an ivory-ish subway tile also painting your kitchen a lighter color will help, too. your cabinets are nice i wouldn’t paint them

https://www.tileshop.com/products/splendours-cream-ceramic-subway-wall-tile-3-x-12-in-494552

Love the cameo appearances of the kids.
The white ones you like don’t go in color with the creams you have going on and the herringbone is too busy with the pattern of your granite. Your husband is correct about not painting the cabinets.
I like the grey? Tile on the right in the pic with the baby in front of the dishwasher :)
I think that’s the path you need to go down.

Your cabinets are very nice, and not too busy for hickory--they are the best thing about your kitchen! I'd leave them as is and change the counter top, which is not popular now, and never was a good choice when it was (in my opinion). Perhaps a honed Jet Mist granite or white marble-look quartz counter top and a plain rectangular tile would read more "farmhouse" than speckled granite and herringbone marble, which would never have been in any farmhouse.

And I'd NEVER put LED lights in any room in my home. I've been in a hotel for the past 5 days, and the LED lighting is depressing the s*^T out of me.

Your cabinets look great and don't read "Montana cabin" to me. I would find a subway tile that coordinates with the lightest color in your countertop. In my opinion, the herringbone is too busy and the grey subway tile, although nice, will really darken the space.

Sounds like you are motivated to get this done but take all the time you need to find the backsplash that looks great and gets you a few steps closer to your ideal style. Order samples, and slow down. Try to find something that is more of a cream. The right color is out there and you're going to find it!

Ivory

Milky Way

@Diana Bier Interiors, LLC is so funny that you say that about the lighting in a hotel.

I need 4000K lighting color, I just love it. It makes me feel like I am outside and alive.

I think I would wait and save for new counters and backsplash. For now, remove fake plants and word art, work on clutter (very hard, I know, with little ones) and maybe spring for a ruggable to add some color in the kitchen. The cabs are really nice.

Your cabinets are kinda great! I would not paint them. Change out the granite to a lighter color to match your flooring and same with your backsplash.

@Patricia Colwell Consulting Yes i know i have a backsplash atm. i should have mentioned in my post that that will be coming down whenever we put a new one up. Also, i already have 4k recessed lightijg in kitchen so everything looks better at night but that doesnt fix natural lighting during the day. Also , next to the harringbone is a gray/brown tile which you recommended but also said the samples i have do not work. So should i go with the subway tile sample i have in my pics ? the color is not registering exactly the same in pic as it is in person.

Here is an excellent article. https://mariakillam.com/

I think a cream/ivory is your best choice. I’d remove the 4 inch lip if possible and to get a really good sense of the feel, bring home a few boxes (if you can return) for not only color, but size and finish, which are important as well. Also consider grout’s color.

Highly suggest repainting walls to achieve less rustic, more modern farmhouse.

Vs:

@jck910 I have tried the cimor of my paint and counter and it just seems to really enhance the yellow unfortunately

@Maureen consider painting what my walls? what color woukd you suggest? i already went through changing the kitchen paint and ended up going with a greige. i previously had this muddy brown which you can see around some of my cabinets that i still have to paint. i have tried different whites and because of the type of the direction of my kitchen and the type of daylight i get, it looks horrible and like primer basically. Also do you isve the name of the second tile picture you posted ? the one with three tiles

@Patricia Colwell Consulting Also we are redoing the floor next. Do you have suggestions for that?

If you are redoing the floor next, what is the flooring going to be?

You need a plan. Settle on what you are keeping and what has to go. Pick out the flooring and backsplash. Are you keeping your counter or replacing? Paint color for the walls is always last.

You need a plan.

You cannot piece meal this Kitchen.

Start a mood board.

@njmomma i have a mood board but i have different elements that cant change than whats in the pictures that i pin. So what looks amazing in pics is not neccessarily going to look good in my space. I uave no plan for what to do for floor because i guess id rather pic a floor that goes with my paint and backplash instead of the other way around. I was assuming on just going with an ivory floor. i guess i dont get what is wrong with the color of it now. How does it not match and what are some suggestions. i have to keep my cabinets and counters per my husbands request🙄 So i dont have much to work with. The brown around my cabinets is not the comor of my kitchen, thats just what i have left to paint. i have a greige in my kitchen. Also i fear to do a cream subway tile because i HATE yellow. That is the base of my problem. im afraid that between the yellow hickory and the cream counter and cream tile that i will loose my shit with that. i would like to somehow distract from the yellow but so that is still goes. i have been trying so hard to convonce my husband to let us paint the cabs white😭

I'd do the floor first and then the counter top and backsplash, then paint comes last. It's much easier to find a paint color that goes with the permanent fixtures than the other way around. And yes, you need a cohesive plan for the space, especially if you are changing out large immovable items.

IMO, a wood floor is timeless and easy to care for if installed and sealed properly.

Here are some nice examples of natural wood cabinets with wood floors and options for counter tops and backsplashes:

St.Paul Arts & Craft · More Info

Kitchen of the Week: The Making of an Arts & Crafts Kitchen · More Info

Kitchen · More Info

Craftsman Kitchen · More Info

@Diana Bier Interiors, LLC unfortunately my husband will not agree to change the counters or the cabinets. so i have to try and work with those for now. If i had cabinets and/or counters that i liked and looked good id find it much easier to have a plan but i feel like i have to piece -meal because i dont like the fixed elements so its throwing off my whole project. i really dont know at this point. i have a light greige for paint which im not worried about and will probably keep. also i wouldnt mind wood floors in kitchen but we have laminate in living and dining room and i was going to do a larger square tile for kitchen and mudd room because i dont trust laminate to hold up with water
What would you suggest for a kitchen floor tile ?

.

Found it! https://www.homedepot.com/p/Ivy-Hill-Tile-Pier-Ivory-4-in-x-12-in-6-mm-Polished-Ceramic-Subway-Wall-Tile-33-piece-10-76-sq-ft-Box-EXT3RD100455/307829633?epik=dj0yJnU9c1NldXRTckNVcFJDTXRia3ZxM0R5WEdWMUFWNHV4MjAmcD0wJm49WFlxejYyclVaY3pNWU9URmlmRW9XZyZ0PUFBQUFBR0lpU2ww

In regards to paint color, it’s always wise to paint last. Sounds like you are redoing floors, so I would definitely wait until backsplash and flooring are done.

My two cents....With the above said. I would pick a floor tile that works with your countertop. Then once that is down, you can pick a backsplash.

But I will refer you to @Diana Bier Interiors, LLC she is very good and I am not a Professional.

Idea for flooring, to tie together the counter, black hardware and the new lanterns I noticed.

Look at inspiration rooms for help and as mentioned by others, it‘s important to have a direction vs choosing in a silo. Lay out your choices next to each other.

@Maureen I do enjoy that flooring !

I'll give you my opinion, not as a professional, but as a woman whose husband is at times difficult to convince in the area of home construction and design. Rather than do a piecemeal job, I'd live with what I have and save up enough money to do it once and do it right. Many a time I've had an idea for doing a partial job on a space, but my husband was resistant. I bide my time and wait until I both can convince him of the wisdom of my ideas and to have enough funds to do it right.

Just an an example, we totally gutted and renovated the kitchen in our primary residence 4 years after we moved in. It had been redone in the 1960s and was really in bad shape. However I lived in it for four years with 3 kids because I did not want to throw good money at a bad layout and worse infrastructure. The resulting kitchen was beautiful and served us well. However after 27 years it was showing its age. He suggested getting new counter tops and I countered that again I did not want to piecemeal it. So we waited, planned, and saved, and now the "new" 8 year old kitchen is a dream. Is it top of the line? No, we figured out what was worth the cost and what we could get away with at a lower price point. The most important factor is to get a really good contractor who is organized and does quality work. JMHO.

So ive convinced the hubby to let us paint the cabinets !!! yay! I think we want to go white, Which will make picking a floor and backsplash much easier! Does anyone have experience or an opinion on chalk paint for cabinets ? what would be the best cabinet paint for long lasting durability

I'll second the suggestion to wait till you have full agreement from your spouse to do it right. A couple of years will fly by and hopefully it will be a better time for sourcing materials and labor.