I grow both of those (phoeniceum and phlomoides) and nothing looks like your second photo. I find it worryingly...disturbing tbh (virus? pest damage?) In your position, I would have it out, maybe pot it up somewhere and see what happens...away from existing plants..

Re. your first point...some of the verbascums, especially the common thapsus, seem to have inherited a 'wonky' gene - a tendency to grow willy-nilly, every which way. I wouldn't worry unless you are a big fan of symmetry and formality. Which you are clearly nothing of the sort - we have seen the pics.

HA! I'm not a fan of symmetry and formality? You know me well. As long as they're doing what they're supposed to, I am happy. I once saw a picture of Salvia azurea (Longwood?) and it blew me away! Not only was it flopping, it was lining an entire pathway, giant piles of beautiful sprawling clouds of blue. I want plants to be happy and to "glory in their spunk" (B.B. King. Reference from his live at San Quentin concert)