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emilyaaa61

Need honest, helpful, realistic feedback on nearly-completed kitchen

19 hours ago
last modified: 18 hours ago

Let me preface this post by saying that

a) i worked with a fantastic designer

b) my new kitchen has the best flow/work space of any kitchen ive ever cooked in

c) i love it! And so do my kids and husband so i should just let that be enough. Alas…

Of the 25-30 friends who have come over with the specific intention of seeing my new kitchen, about 90% have not said anything complimentary about the kitchen. I get lots of ”oh wow! you guys must be so happy to have a kitchen again!” or ”Do you like it?” Some just dont say anything. Maybe some might compliment my stove (she’s gorgeous) or the backsplash (it is a work of art, esp up close) but only 4 people have actually said they think its beautiful. And interestingly, those 4 friends absolutely GUSHED over it and said it should be in magazines! Ha!

My husband wishes I didnt care what others think. And so do I!!! This is sooo silly!! But when you put this much money into your house, you want to feel like you’ve appreciated the value of your home. And based on the majority of the reactions Ive gotten, I’m not sure we did. (not that we plan to sell…but still)

So my request from this community is constructive feedback. Please tell me if there are any changes I could make that would be relatively inexpensive that might make the kitchen appeal to more people. For example, I can’t do anything about the cabinets, but I could change the hardware. I cant change the counters, but i could swap out decor (easily!) and lighting fixtures.

I really do want honest feedback, but do please be gentle — I’m feeling like an insecure teenage girl here! And im afraid i sound like the skinny girl in middle school who would say how fat she was so others would tell her she’s soooo skinny. Im not seeking praise—just constructive feedback!















Comments (26)

  • 18 hours ago

    If you and family love it, why do you care what your friends think? And, if you think you are having issues with your friends’ opinions- I am not sure that you are going to have a better time here...


    I would just say: if you want the kitchen to be more visually pleasing to more people, paint the black uppers to match the hood. If your friends don’t like it then- get new friends. :)


    Btw, my Father used to say, “If you have one good friend in life, you are fortunate.”


    Emily Allred thanked freedomplace1
  • 18 hours ago

    Your husband is 100% right. If you love it, and it looks like you can cook a feast for family and friends, who cares! My best advice? Be grateful for what you have! Good luck.

    Emily Allred thanked dancethismessaround
  • 18 hours ago

    Thank you @freedomplace1 —i had wondered if the dark uppers were part of the problem. They’re actually a dark blue, but kind of look black in photos. We all love them, so we’ll keep them but if ever we need to sell—painting them might be the right choice! Thank you for your feedback!!


    And amen to your dad’s sentiment :)

  • 17 hours ago

    @freedomplace1 You got me thinking. So i plugged my image into Chat and got this. Youre absolutely right. This AI image looks so mich more like what i see all over pinterest!!


    My designer knew i wanted to avoid that white-with-wood look, so she chose a color i lurve, even if it seems I’m in the minority. I feel better just knowing that a paint job would make the kitchen have a broader appeal!


    and yes, @dancethismessaround, thank you for the reminder to be grateful. Gratitude is always the answer.




  • PRO
    16 hours ago

    Dear Emily,
    At the end of the day if you love the kitchen that’s what matters. Now this is what I love about your kitchen:

    1. The counter top on the island is absolutely stunning.
    2. Appliances look great especially that stove.
    3. Range hood design is nice
      The kitchen you have is unique and the kitchen brings value. Off the bat you can tell there was a lot of thought and hard work behind it. now hypothetically if I purchase a home with the same kitchen will i do some changes yes i will. The issue i see and again people have different taste is the contrast if the colors. This is what i would do:
    4. Change all the counter tops to match the island counter top. 2.Change the kitchen cabinets Handles to gold to match the gas range.
    5. Paint all the cabinets the same color.
      To bring those ideas closer to reality this is what it will look like
      Will presented in the photos.

    Best regards,
    Argyle Construction

    Emily Allred thanked Argyle Construction
  • PRO
    15 hours ago
    last modified: 14 hours ago

    I'll assume you did a reno because you have no plans to move in the near future. If the move is ten years up the road? You will have a ten year old kitchen , that even you may not love as much as the day you did it! Ten years is an EON in design, and styles/flavors come at us in speed of light mode. You don't remodel solely for house value, no one has a crystal ball, and if you and family are thrilled, you don't undermine the happy factor. Pause please? Make certain you want to proceed?.................Yes? No?

    That said, and as your designer? I would have edited pared down ,your wish list.. A great design doesn't need a ton of ideas. Does not need one from column a, one from b method.

    Stop right here, if you do NOT want to know, proceed to scroll if you do.



    I'd have been a no on the upper mix of paint/wood. There are instances where the look works beautifully, but it doesn't work everywhere.

    The cabinets immediately right of fridge would be oak and end in the corner..

    The two( narrow dark blue) flanking the hood? No.......GONE. too crowded and they ruin the focal point you clearly wanted. Glass doors are always a "discipline" challenge. In real kitchen life. they need to be very curated, endlessly neat, and tell a "story".

    The hood and range were the focal point you wanted, with breathing room.

    Lights,,flanking hood: With the cabinets, too bulky. Even without cabinets ....a bit heavy and your hood HAS a light, rendering these, an idea that can work beautifully as accent decor.....not meant for your available space. I probably would have a bit lighter feel on the hardware for lower drawers .

    This?



    "Decor" .....don't add, reduce. You can BUY a cutting board for sink side? That is a permanent cutting surface, yes? In this application, it is disruptive. What is happening for doors at the pantry/canning /coffee area?

    I will now stand back as fifty Houzzers tell me I was harsh, brutal , and as mommy would have said? If you can't say something nice........

    But you asked. My post is a bit of a cautionary tale for others, and is opinion only. Perhaps you have some jealous friends, always a possibility. Maybe you have "friends" who are not ?

    Seeking approval is normal human behavior, but you are the one you must please.

    Beat me up as you will.: ) I think even you could have loved it just as much with some editing.

    Emily Allred thanked JAN MOYER
  • 11 hours ago
    last modified: 10 hours ago

    the pantry w the dramatic arch and the stand-out white paint jumped at me, visually. This is breaking up the cohesive kitchen. I'd fix that, I think. You have a windowless space to work with...a window or 2 is always nice w natural light and views .....but you had to work with what exists. Your kitchen is fine / maybe minus the odd arched area ?? ..As far as neighbors etc....your oversized island , in particular the lower stool area is noteworthy and probably atypical for the neighborhood.....they probably dont know how to react to it..... thats all thats going on, in my opinion. if you will be using it and enjoying the gorgeous top, it wont matter what they think. i would not tinker w the perimeter. [You could put more comfy stools with backs or actual chairs around seating zone.....high value to do so !! ]


    think about Chairs and a mini project of a ?hutch? or something else for the arched room area


    Refined Oak and Stone · More Info


    Emily Allred thanked herbflavor
  • 10 hours ago

    Individual elements are lovely, but as a whole, it honestly should have had quite a bit of editing. An arch, a beam, a niche, high contrast hardware, a commercial faucet, a statement hood, an accent stone and shelf at the range, two colors for cabinetry plus the hood color, and glass front display cabinetry.


    If you like it and it functions for your family, then that's what matters most. Maybe your friends aren't into bling and are more the "take off one piece of jewelry" people so don't expect validation from them.

    Emily Allred thanked tlynn1960
  • 10 hours ago

    So great that you and your family love the kitchen and it works so well for you


    In general i think it’s a more dramatic space with higher contrast surfaces and that likely isn't to everyone’s taste (which is fine. we all like different things)


    if it were me, I’d strip out most of the decor, I think it’s bringing the space down. I’d also square out the coffee station entry and put a lovely set of low key doors there that blend in with the walls (it will be one less design element and will simplify the space)


    lastly — and i don’t mean this harshly — but when it is our own big home project - we obsess and find it ALL very interesting (I know i do) but it’s pretty boring to most everyone else - so it may just be that some of your friends just don’t find the reno that interesting, and it is easy to interpret that as not liking it


    (fwiw we built a lake house recently and most of the close people in my life (except for DH) were very uninterested in hearing about it - it is hard to admit, but it hurt my feelings at first and then I realized it wasn’t about the house or me - it’s just hard to understand/relate to all the work, details etc when you are not going thru it. And it’s likely a little boring to hear about — I quickly learned to just keep the process and details to myself - no one else really cares)

    Emily Allred thanked la_la Girl
  • PRO
    9 hours ago

    Diana is right about "pencils down". But perhaps the first pencil down might have been the op?

    You did a kitchen , You love the kitchen. ..........OR you see things after the fact that bug you, just a bit? It is natural to want others to swoon when you have heart and soul into anything, from a great meal at the holidays to a big party, to even a casual picnic on a backyard deck! All of these a mere fraction of the effort that goes into any kitchen reno.

    Not one of us can read a mind across the internet. But IF you have a doubt, a twinge of regret, it can be scary to admit that, even to oneself. Designers agonize along with their clients; every designer wants a Happy Camper. We try desperately to give a client all they desire, but we sometimes urge.......that less can actually be "more".

    It is the hardest part of our job - that "no" word, so we simply aim to provide the Yes!!!!!!! Yessss! Yessssssssss! at the finish, where it truly counts.

    Emily Allred thanked JAN MOYER
  • PRO
    9 hours ago
    last modified: 9 hours ago

    I am atrained chef I design my kitchen to function for how I cook. I care not if anyone else likes it . You love it, be happy it is a fact you cannot please everyone all of the time only please yourself. I will be honest your kitchen is a bit overdone but it is your kitchen period

    Emily Allred thanked Patricia Colwell Consulting
  • 9 hours ago

    You ( & your family loves it ) … end of discussion. I really don’t care what others think of our house. I’ve heard ”wow! low ceilings!” ( from one of our ”Tuscan” friends ), ”too modern”, ”wow, sure is minimal” ( this from another ”Grotuscan” fan ) etc. We have an authentic MCM home furnished in a modern style. That’s what WE like, I don’t decorate for self validation. I’ve only received one compliment re a several thousand $ oil painting we purchased a few years ago. That doesn’t bother me at all, actually, I would doubt my taste if certain friends complemented me on it.

    Emily Allred thanked K Laurence
  • 9 hours ago
    last modified: 8 hours ago

    Changing small items like handles and lighting won’t make a difference overall. Don’t be disappointed that your level of enthusiasm isn’t expressed by some of your friends. Tastes are so different and also your expectations for their enthusiasm may be too high. It has a lot going on (stain, dark blue, black, ivory, different counters), so that might affect their responses, as it feels chopped up




    If interested (and possible), suggest stripping the navy and stain to match the rest. Even add wood trim on the hood to help tie in a bit better. I’d replace the island pendant and hardware to the same brass finish as the faucet. The art of mixing well is created with cohesiveness.


    Emily Allred thanked Maureen
  • 8 hours ago

    I'm old enough to not care anymore what anyone else thinks, so I think it's great that you did something you and your family like that doesn't look like every other kitchen remodeled in the past two years. When your friends say, "do you like it?" what they mean is, it's not my style, but if you like it, I love it for you. So enjoy!

    Emily Allred thanked kandrewspa
  • 8 hours ago
    last modified: 7 hours ago

    For me (not a pro) it is the dark cabinets on either side of the stove hood. To me they appear to be overkill, should be the same color as the other upper cabinets, making for a more cohesive look, as you already have so many other things going on.

    Emily Allred thanked doods
  • 8 hours ago

    @la_la Girl, I was very lucky to have my Mom and a long time family friend to discuss all the minute details during my build. They are both into design, but also had their own opinions, which didn't always agree with mine!


    As far as the kitchen, I don't love the dark uppers and even with lights on, that corners seems a bit gloomy. Too much was crammed around the range and hood. I don't understand the sconces and they probably cast weird shadows when lit, with obstructions in every direction.


    If 4 people out of 25-30 said they loved it, then those are people that share similar tastes. Having 16% of people love all your design decisions is probably a comparable number to other things we might do in our lives. Maybe only 16% of 25 guests might love everything single thing you cooked for a dinner party. The kitchen is no different.


    I designed everything in my house and don't care what others think. It works for us and that is what is important. You might want to talk to someone IRL to sort some of these feelings you are having. You might also be having "withdrawal" from having been so involved in the kitchen decisions, with people in your house for months, and now you have all this "free" time and no one in the house. Many people have depression-like feelings after finishing up a big project.

    Emily Allred thanked chispa
  • 8 hours ago

    I think part of the problem is that it is all too much. It looks like someone found ideas on pinterest and tried to cram them all in one kitchen. The range should have been the star of the show but that range wall is so busy it distracts from the beautiful range. Sometimes more is just more.


    What is the deal with the beam on the ceiling being dark brown and then a portion is light brown?


    In the end if you are happy with your kitchen and it functions well for you that is all that matters. Everyone has different tastes.



    Emily Allred thanked Clyde Kalvin
  • 6 hours ago
    last modified: 6 hours ago

    Remove the stone behind the range, tile only.

    Remove the two lights above the range hood.

    Get rid of the arched opening to the pantry and add doors.

    Remove the recessed area on the pantry wall.

    Possibly change the range hood color, it does not relate to anything.

    Edit the knick knacks.

    What does the rest of the space look like? Does the new kitchen relate well to the entire house?

    Emily Allred thanked s m
  • PRO
    5 hours ago

    I haven't read all the comments, but I suggest that to the glass cabinets you change the color of the backs. Ideally to the wood color, but even the hood color will brighten up the space.

    Emily Allred thanked Skippack Tile & Stone
  • 4 hours ago
    last modified: 3 hours ago

    I would do a couple of things that are relatively minor in cost. Firstly, to help the dark blue cabinets relate to the vent hood, paint the inside of the glass cabinets to the color of vent hood.


    Secondly, the pantry seems unfinished to I’d add a door to it. A framed arched door with reeded glass keeps the openness but hides some of the messiness that happens in a pantry. This is the most costly of all the suggestions.


    Finally I’d add some well placed accessories that make the space look pulled together. You might have some things that you use everyday that you can tuck away when you have company over,

    Merely suggestions. You have a beautiful kitchen and I hope you enjoy it whether or not your friends brag on it or not. .








    Emily Allred thanked Emily
  • 3 hours ago

    Your kitchen shows lots of concentrated effort in design, and includes lots of extras around the room. It's great to hear you say that you love it! Only becasue you specifically asked, I'm happy to make a few suggestions.


    "Please tell me if there are any changes I could make that would be relatively inexpensive that might make the kitchen appeal to more people."


    1. I would consider removing all the decor items from the range-shelf. That area appears a bit crowded now, and I think clearing the space will open up that end of the kitchen. It will only cost you a few minutes to try it, no money spent! (you said you could swap out decor (easily!)


    2. Also in the hood backsplash, I agree with others that the sconces are a bit big for the space. It might look more spacious (and quieter) if you swapped those sconces for something much smaller and perhaps cigar-shaped, just as a little accent there. I'd try mockups with sconces that match the stove brass, and also try a painted color that just blends away into the backsplash there. If you'd have time for maintenance, then even a glass or crystal sconce there might work.

    (you mentioned that you'd consider swapping light fixtures)


    I also agree with others that the dark blue uppers are giving a bit of a heavy feel in that end of the room. Consider these 2 ideas for the blue uppers that have glass doors:


    1. Have a glass company cut pieces of their thinnest mirror to the dimensions of the backs of the lighted cabinets. You can test them in place with painters tape. I've done that with lighted glass door cabinets, and it's amazing how much it bounces light back into the room, while allowing your eye to go "through the wall" in the back. It could really lighten up those heavyish cabinets.


    2. If you like that idea, then consider taking it one step further and have mirror cut for the taller glass door cabs, too. Put lights in those if they don't have them, and then if you can afford it, swap those wood shelves for glass shelves so the light can go all the way from top to bottom, and also bounce out the door.


    Just one more idea, about the cab hardware. It might look nice to have knobs and pulls that relate to that fabulous stove. Don't know if you can mock up brass hardward there, but it could be worth a try. Another alternative is to swap out the dark knobs on the blue uppers for clear crystal knobs, maybe with brass backplates, esp if you try the mirrored backs.


    Even if you decide to change nothing at all, you have a kitchen you love that works for you and that is a great definition of success! Enjoy it for years to come!



    Emily Allred thanked smiling
  • 3 hours ago

    It is so great that you are enjoying the new/better function of your kitchen. If you love the choices that you made, that is what matters most. It is a lovely space. These are just my opinions and ideas and I am NOT a professional, so take it as just coming from another silly gal, who has some of her own pesky opinions.


    For me the wood cabinets are so lovely, and navy cabinets are what really stands out as the outlier. Personally, I am not a lover of the two toned, and I think there are a few of us out here who feel that way. But your preference is what is driving the bus, so if you and your family love it, then keep it as is and enjoy it. However since you asked, if it were me, I would replace the navy cabinets with the same wood cabinets that you have. If you decided to replace them, you could use the navy cabinets in another room. Another poster suggested that you paint all the cabinets navy, and I DEFINITELY don't think you should do that!. Not because I don't like navy cabinets. In fact, I have all navy cabinets in my kitchen, and I love them in my house. Why do I discourage you from that? Because you have no windows in your kitchen, and I think that your wood cabinets "fit" your kitchen very well. They make the space feel warm, light, and beautiful.


    Will you be getting a door to the pantry? If no door, I would get rid of the table with the skirt in there. Everything else looks neat, and finished and that skirt looks odd and unkept. Do you have arches elsewhere in the home? If not, ask yourself why here?


    Finally the ceiling beam-is it going to be dark or light? My preference would be light, but again, just an opinion, and we know that everyone has one. So don't second guess yourself if you prefer the dark stain.


    I think your friends are still going to be your friends, even if they don't love your design choices. You might not like all of their choices, but that doesn't mean you don't like your friends! It sounds like you have the function that works for you and your family.It seems like you are overall very happy with the results. If you were to look at my kitchen, you might dislike my choices. It's modern with flat panel cabinets-all one color. I have no wall ovens, nor separate range, I didn't go induction, and I have a countertop microwave. (OMG!) Why? Because these are the choices that make sense for us, for how we cook. I went back and forth on the microwave-over the stove-too high for me, under a counter, too low for my husband, built in drawer, too expensive for the amount of use it is going to get and potentially difficult/expensive to replace- therefore, countertop. I have a friend who doesn't love my navy cabinets. Because she is kind, she would never say it directly. Yet, she has said other things, like she is glad that I have put warm colored paintings in my kitchen. I could let that bother me, but the truth is that I know she still loves me! That is what is important. Our friendship isn't dependent on us having to agree on everything. So don't cut out your friends who aren't over the moon about your kitchen, or perhaps aren't expressive about it. And don't feel that you have to change your kitchen, just because others don't love it. If you love it, embrace it, and enjoy it!

    Emily Allred thanked kimbers333
  • 3 hours ago

    You love the look and the work-flow of your kitchen - that's all I need to know to tell me you did the right thing and should be very happy.

    When it comes time to market it to others, I would add a light in the pantry alcove - show off that lovely arch - and repaint the upper cabinets so they're not so dark and heavy. Not now, because you love it now, and don't let anyone take that away from you. Do it then.

    Emily Allred thanked Toronto Veterinarian
  • 2 hours ago

    your friends are being polite… You need to edit. if yiu are going to have glass cabinets then be neat behind the glass, looks like stuff is just shoved in willy nilly. wayy to much going on above the stove, remove the shelf and the lights and the two colors backsplash and everything except the hood. fix the hardware on the cabinets so its from this decade and matches. take the giant cutting board off the island next to the sink, out it away. change the rug out so it matches, navy in the rug is needed for balance. buy real bar stools (denver modern) nice and low so they dont tlook like somehting from a garage sale. edit edit more

    Emily Allred thanked Jane
  • PRO
    2 hours ago

    You asked for low cost suggestions to make the kitchen appeal to more people. Unless you are planning to sell your house in the very near future the answer is NOTHING.seriously why do you want it to appeal to more people??? To get compliments? You might take everyone’s advice and still not get more feedback. I would stop worrying about it and just enjoy the kitchen as is. But I already said that.

    Emily Allred thanked Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
  • 1 hour ago

    Wow! This forum did not disappoint! I asked for constructive feedback and you guys delivered! Thank you!!!


    Thank you for the AI images, @Emily, those are super helpful and easy changes!!


    Thank you all for the resell advice! Many of your suggestions I will tuck away for the future, if ever we sell and are looking to appeal to a broader audience.


    @la_la Girl -- you are right! I have obsessed over this for the past 2 years and no one else really cares! Ha! AND like @chispa said, I kinda needed to emotionally process it. Reading all your suggestions--asking myself why we made the choices we did, and ultimately realizing that there are very few things I’d do differently--has been very good for my soul!


    One of my goals was exactly what @kandrewspa said--not looking exactly like every kitchen I’ve seen in the past few years. It appears I achieved that, and perhaps a bit more! Ha!


    Easy suggestions I will be tackling immediately:

    -Reduce/replace decor (J@JAN MOYER the cutting board next to sink is just to protect the marble, it fits nicely but can easily be removed when not in use...but it's in use lots!)

    -Change out hardware on cabinets, possibly for something gold/brass

    -Replace sconces flanking the hood with something smaller, cigar shaped maybe

    -Paint interior of glass cabinets--or put glass mirrors


    Suggestions I won’t be following, because function wins over form:

    --Removing soap stone backsplash --that area gets too oily/stainy for travertine

    --Removing the arched pantry--that’s one of our favorite things, both form and function

    --Painting/Staining the cabinets--I really wanted all wood lowers, painted lowers are too fussy and show food/stains/dust

    --Removing Glass cabinets---those hold all our dishes, are right be the dishwasher. Yes, I see now that they crowd out the hood, but I guess I chose storage over breathing-room

    --Putting Dolomite/marble on exterior --we chose Soapstone for exterior because it’s a living stone, and can’t be ruined by heavy usage. The dolomite/marble island is gorgeous, but too fragile to put everywhere

    -- Painting the plaster hood--the plaster is soooo easy to clean, matches the pantry, and matches the Island, IMO


    The most important takeaway from all of your amazing comments is what most of you said--the only thing that matters is that I like it. I KNOW this to be true, but have allowed myself to get hung up on the caring-what-other-think nonsense. Thank you for the many reminders and even sharing your own experiences. That has been soooo helpful!


    The best comment of the entire thread is no longer there--and that was a much-needed reminder that this is a first-world problem. I know this to be true and even say that out loud often. But I needed someone else to remind me of that.


    Thank you all for your input and feedback and for being gentle, yet honest. I feel soooo much better just kinda knowing what reactions my friends are probably having, and knowing that i still wouldn’t change almost any of it. And @kimbers333 is right, my friends still love me, even if not my kitchen. And that feeling is reciprocal. Can’t think of many things that should impact a friendship LESS than differing design choices! Ha!


    Thank you all!!! This place is amazing!!!