I would paint all to match the trim. Then paint the backs of the shelves in the gray. Don't forget the balcony railings need paint too. You might get away with a black hand rail up there. You'll love the light feeling everything will have!

I can't tell are the doors on the bar the same as on the bookcase next to the fireplace?

I really would not like to see you make any changes to the fireplace. It looks so great and, after all is or should be the focal point in the room.

If the wood on the bar and the bookcases is different, please paint both of those areas the same as the walls to unify them. The fireplace will become the focal point it should be.

I think painting is a great idea! I think you could easily paint the fireplace to match the trim and the side cabinet a gray. It must be a WARM toned gray though, and not too dark. Cool gray will not look well with your tan tones. I don't think you should paint both pieces the same as I think it will overwhelm the space.

please keep the fireplace as is - it is very nice looking. paint the other pieces.

I really can't believe you received the advice you did from a "professional". Please DO NOT paint the fireplace.

The FP is a bit busy with the two-toned treatment and you don't care for the orange-i-ness, so I think painting it will work for you. This room has a treatment on the panels that you might try if you find plain white too bland. Just a touch of gray antiquing on the trim might be nice.

Thank you for all the suggestions. I really appreciate it. The cabinets in the bar area look to me like a factory finish stain whereas the mantle and bookcases were custom and stained on site. I'm leaning toward starting out with just painting the bookcases and wetbar and leaving the mantle as is. Still confused as to what color to paint these... I'm assuming I'd paint them both the same color? Trim color- white or a greige? Or could I paint the bookcases the trim color paint and the wetbar a gray? Would that be too much? Maybe tie it together by painting the back of the bookcases the same gray I paint the wetbar??

You could start with the TV area & paint it a charcoal...make the TV seem to disappear by doing that. If you don't like it, pick a different color. If you like the charcoal, paint the bar area too. I'm still trying to unify the two different areas that have non matching finishes and styles. But I still urge you not to touch the fireplace area.

Hmmmm, 2014...5 years ago. I clicked on this because I am dealing with a similar dilemma. Funny how easy it is for me to see another's best solution, but not my own! I would love to see how your's turned out!
I'm with the leave the fireplace as is, unless you are changing the entire style of the room to contemporary/modern!