I can't help you with which shower to buy, but here is a link that is very instructive. If you haven't read it, it is a long detailed description of showers. I found it informative. I was trying to remember the link to the kitchen and bath remodelers that have very good info on faucet manufactures but I can't find it. Good luck to you.

Here is a link that might be useful: FAQ/Answers Bathroom Plumbing for dummies

I found the link, read the page then at the bottom there is a link to more info for part 2, which includes specific info on brands.

Here is a link that might be useful: Star Craft Custom Builders

Thank you for the link, enduring.
Renee

Check out the Delta In2ition line...

http://www.deltafaucet.com/search/results.html?q=in2ition

And Luxart...

http://www.luxartcollection.com/Index.aspx

Thank you all so much for responding. Really last night it just seemed to come to a point of utter frustration. I had read the links you posted, Enduring. Some really useful info almost too much ;)
I had not heard of Luxart and liked the website the products seem very straightforward and I really liked the Perpetua line but they are only in three colors and no polished nickel.
I was all ready to order hansgrohe Friday and took my husband to the showroom. The trim plates behind the lever valve handles are all plastic and the handshowers did not have enough heft to them. Compared to moen in the showroom And he said $850 for this ? No way.
At this point I'm going with Delta as I found trim for them on ebay in Polished Nickel its been discontinued on their main lines. Husband is handy (Plumbs)and we will be able to get at all walls for valve repair if needed in the future.
He did point out my tastes change at least as often as plumbing needs to be repaired so just get something reasonable now and if it lasts 10years great. I will hate it in ten years anyway and want to change out the trim and if I go with Delta its easy. I suppose this is weird thinking but it would be really nice to not pay $7 grand on faucets for this house.

Have you considered Grohe?

We have Grohe fixtures in our new shower and master bath.
I am very impressed with them.
They feel very solid and work well.

Thank you for the suggestion Francoise47 -- I was told the Grohe valve does not run the shower and handshower at the same time. I would need a main valve and trim plus another diverter and trim and would still not get water out of each at the same time. Are you able to use both at once?
I did like the Grohe styles and they do have PN finish but have a plastic trim cover on the valve cover.
At least this was what was on display at Fergusons.

I've always been a Moen fan, but that look isn't for everyone. I like Moen because their customer service is top notch (I'm a Plumbing & Heating contractor), and also their valves have a common sense concept and easy to work on. (Delta finally grasp that concept a few years ago)

Grohe is extremely nice, but very difficult to deal with for warranty issues. Every single time I call for a customer, they want a receipt, so make sure you keep your receipts!!

I agree with the poster above, you don't want a heavy metal shower wand slipping out of your hand and cracking tile.

Finally, Grohe "can be made" to run a shower and hand shower at the same time. : )