I wouldn't have thought darker cabinets, but lucidos' photo works for me... also allows architectural elements, etc. to 'come forward' with cabs a bit more neutral?

Since you have no other wood in the kitchen I agree with your wife that white may look cold. Consider a wood floor if you paint the cabinets white. From the pictures your cabinets look good. Painting will neither increase nor decrease the value - unless done poorly, then they will decrease. Homeowner painted cabinets sometimes come out nice - other times they don't. I can usually spot a home owner painted kitchen when looking at homes.

Wood moves with temp and humidity which can cause small cracks in the paint at the joints in the wood. Factory made painted cabinets are often MDF or MDF with wood combination, or paint grade wood. Also, as your cabinets are oak, the grain texture will show through the paint (see pic). It doesn't bother some, but it does bother others. The white does require more work to keep clean - but again that doesn't bother some people. You will not have those problems if you re-stain.

Who uses the kitchen the most in your home? If it is your wife, then let her keep her wood cabinets. They are not as "dated" as you think - they still sell that style in the kitchen centers. Perhaps you have been watching to much HGTV?

But of course!

and Green for S&G.

I don't think you could go wrong with white! Why are white kitchens top for 2015? Here’s a
great article: Top
for 2015

You both made valid points. I also think you both agree that the cabinets need "something". If you need more of a visual for your kitchen get white sheets and tack them up over the cabinets. If you aren't moving in the foreseeable future wait and see where the trends take us in the next year or so.

You have a wonderful space and have choosen your decor well. Enjoy it for what it is for now. I haven't meet the perfect home yet.

Update -- painted yet?

Anything painted will, inevitably, need repainting and will look awful as it gets that way. Wood in good condition with a natural wood finish shouldn't be painted -- it will decrease the value of your home.

All white cabinets are stark and sterile looking but a pain in the back to keep clean in any kitchen that is actually used.

One caveat: You could paint the base cabinet that creates your island any color you want without doing real harm to the value of your home, both because it already doesn't match your other really nice kitchen cabinets and because, absent plumbing, replacing an island bar (even with electrical outlets) is not only a less costly reno, it is a lot less disruptive and less problematic project for someone living in the home than redoing the rest of the kitchen cabinets.

To decide what color to paint the island bar base cabinet, look at the other colors you've chosen for painting and furnishing your home. In all candor, and except for your beautiful kitchen cabinets, your entire home living area seems to be whites and neutrals -- almost too bland and sterile to feel inviting. From the pic, it's not clear on my screen whether your sofa is white or an extremely pale blue.

I've seen both fireplace surrounds and island bar base cabinets painted a beautiful blueish/gray -- together they link the great room created by living/dining/kitchen all as one room.

You might consider some vertical vinyl blinds for the kitchen window and paint the base cabinet of the island bar and your fireplace surround and your supporting posts in the living area all that same color.

https://www.google.com/search?q=blue+fireplace+surround&biw=1366&bih=673&tbm=isch&imgil=cw_WjWasVMeW6M%253A%253BOJ1kVrPXShOkDM%253Bhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.pinterest.com%25252Fabbieraine%25252Fpainted-fireplace-mantels%25252F&source=iu&pf=m&fir=cw_WjWasVMeW6M%253A%252COJ1kVrPXShOkDM%252C_&usg=__hYHekQHceWplmUt4yOBfpQQLLsI%3D&ved=0CCgQyjdqFQoTCMnY9rHszcgCFco5Pgodl24MRA&ei=g4UkVomLDsrz-AGX3bGgBA#imgrc=cw_WjWasVMeW6M%3A&usg=__hYHekQHceWplmUt4yOBfpQQLLsI%3D

Ditto in gray.

[https://www.houzz.com/photos/kitchen-transitional-rendering-manchester-phvw-vp~37141662[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/kitchen-transitional-rendering-manchester-phvw-vp~37141662)

I love your kitchen. I would consider painting them a dark brown or black (match darkest color in granite ) and distress the edges to give it an antique look.

Well, as you can see, the suggestions are all over the board. I'll add my suggestion to create further confusion. I think white/off white cabinets with a dark chocolate glaze would be perfect. The glaze settles into the cracks, and relieves the sterile look of white by itself. It would draw the cabinets together with the island, and blend the backsplash with the cabinets.