I didn't learn to keep house. My mother was a perfectionist who did everything herself and didn't bother to teach me. Although I do my own laundry, I've always had a housekeeper or a cleaning service. I am something of a minimalist, and I like clean, empty spaces. At this point in my life I have very little clutter.

All of these comments should be "I learned from the adults in my life" If you have children and do not teach them to care for themselves, (which includes house cleaning and cooking skills) then you have failed as a parent. Money skills are vital also and how to ignore advertising and determine for yourself what you need or want. I learned early that I don't need a music system worth thousands for my $200.00 ears and I don't like new cars.

My grandmother was so clean that turned down invitations because she had to clean, my mother kept the house super clean but said to us, go and have fun the dust, the laundry and all the chores will be waiting for you when you come back from having fun, however if guest were coming to visit the preparation of it was to neurotic because we had to have the house perfect (just like grandma) I keep a very clean home but not immaculate, if someone comes to visit, I believe they came to see us not to check if my home was clean or not, I never worry because I live here and run my business from home. I do not judge a messy home (fresh mess) I do not like people letting their home go.I forgot I learn by watching I never had to do house chores but now I do and is ok not the end of the world.

Have a clean up box. Every night make a pass through the house. Anything out of place gets dumped in the box. Anyone can go and get out what is theirs. Garbage day the box is put out for garbage. When things start to disappear people will clean up better for themselves. At first be prepared for howls when things are gone, gone gone. People are messy because you allow them to be.

My Mom ( rest in peace ) was very fussy about her kitchen. The kitchen had to be spotless while the rest of the house was clean but very liveable for us, company and for grandchildren that visited.
We knew not to bother my Mom when she was cooking because that was her passion and she loved being alone preparing meals and as soon as she was done cooking everything was cleaned up and put a way and not a dirty dish in sight :)
However I do remember one time when I was just a little boy and not well that my Mom laid a large piece of plastic on her beautiful kitchen floor and asked my Dad to get a few buckets of dirt so that I could play with my trucks and cars inside. That's just the kind of Mom she was. The house was clean, we had clean clothes, we had plenty to eat but our well being and happiness was her number one priority.
I think between my Mom and Dad they did a great job teaching us how to keep house but to remember that no matter where we call home it's was important that we make it a safe and happy place to be.

@bathakarr, I had a reaction to that idea for different reasons, but I wonder if I'm a big baby around here: "don't mess with my stuff!" Yet my method of allowing stuff to accumulate isn't working. I try using folders and well for instance I clip from paper an event coming up/ or a recipe.... and it lays around. Consequences! Howl!

My mother taught me. I never saw my father with a vacuum, a broom, or even a sponge in his hand my entire life. Mom had 4 kids after me and I was responsible for helping her clean, wash, iron clothes, boil baby bottles, fold diapers, and do dinner dishes. While kids my age were at the mall or at after school activities, I was at home babysitting. I grew resentful. It's only recently that I stopped feeling anger whenever I vacuumed (at times I would want to throw the vacuum across the room and didn't know why). I learned from flylady.net that cleaning, done perfectly or imperfectly, is BLESSING my home. I remind myself of that all the time and it gets me through it.

cocoanlace - I had almost the same exact experience, but I learned long ago that she actually did me a favor....I did miss out on some things, but the skills and leadership role I took in my teens has served me well. I have never resented housework, just the opposite, I quite enjoy it and really prefer to do most things myself.

missyme: "The dogs don't help."

You have to start training them when they are puppies. (ha ha)

My mom was a do-as-little-as-possible sort of housekeeper/cook and my dad bordered on being a hoarder. As a kid, I would try to make the house look as nice as my friends' homes, but didn't really know how. I always felt the lack of structure and routine with regards to housekeeping during my formative years. My style is most days keep the kitchen clean and dirty dish free, dust when I can't stand it anymore, sweep the floors weekly and clean the bathrooms weekly. Laundry happens every day. I never make any bed except the guest beds (don't see the point). I sometimes let things collect in piles where I spend time but clear them out occasionally. I purge our clutter as often as possible. I live in horror of hoarders. Ours is a sometimes clean, lived-in country house. I'd like it to be cleaner, but I don't see the point in working all the time on it just to have to do it again 5 minutes later.

I am with you. I picked out what one thing had to be done to have a clean house. Give me a clean table and I have a clean house. It is also the last thing to be cleaned.

Grandma -- everything I know that's housekeeperly, from polishing silver to ironing a pleat, came from her. My parents appreciated a good scrub and Windex, but Grandma was the fount of motivation in the family.

It's not really housekeeping, but I've learned to de-clutter through several moves. Moving sucks, but every time I move I get rid of the unnecessary things I've been holding on to.

My mother was always flustered by housework. She likes to collect things, so she makes it hard on herself. My Dad is a classic Yankee - he never throws something potentially useful away. I never saw the need for cleaning work - it seemed so meaningless to me as a kid - I guess I was blind to disorder. Now I appreciate how hard she works, and the really decent job she does on our big, old, pet-filled house.

But wish I had a healthier relationship with cleaning. Having my own babies cured me of my blindness to disorder, so now I find it overwhelming, especially now that those babies are now kids who need a serious blindness cure. And my husband, bless him, does make some ugly situations that I also need to sort out. I feel calm and happy when my house is in perfect order, which is only when the small people in my house are on a sleepover with the grandparents.

Sometimes I think I may be a borderline hoarder, so to just throw away some perfectly good stuff just because it was "out of place" bathakarr!! Gives me a panic attack!

For instance - some would've gotten rid of the cheap but nice throw pillows I had bought, were lying on/off couch. But when we found a different color couch bought/delivered today -- the pillows were right!! Some don't want to wait, or feel indecision.... I don't mind open-endedness...but not so easy to live through...

My mom did not teach me anything about house cleaning. When I was in high school I voluntarily cleaned the kitchen floors Saturday nights. Washed dishes and made beds during the week. I figured my mom was a single mom and I should help out. I try to keep a clean house. I hired a housekeeper when my ex hubby and I were in grad school. We worked full time and went to grad school at night and on weekends. Suffice to say we had no time to clean the house. The first time the cleaner came over the house was clean. The second time she swept the dust bunnies under the bed ! Never again. Even when I was a single mom with a 4 bedroom house I cleaned it myself. It was exhausting and you have to split the house into groups to get it all done but I managed. I used to kill myself cleaning the entire house in one day but now I break the rooms up and do things on different days.

I hate cleaning house cause my mother made me clean after my siblings and parents instead of being allowed to play or study. So, when I left home I vowed that house cleaning would take a back burner. My house is "clean" but a bit messy...I don't make the bed..I don't do dishes everyday and I don't do bathrooms every day..I don't dust or mop floors except when they need it..same goes for windows.Only recently have I begun to get rid of stuff due to a death in the family that as made me look at why I keep stuff..no one else is gonna want it.get rid of it....I am much better at yard work..that gets done every week..love love love yard work..

raehuestis: I used to view housework as a thankless job that I did for others: Messy kids that hid plates of hardened food under the sofa. An uncaring husband who left frightening messes in his bathroom for me to clean because it was "woman's work". Hated it. Now that I am solo, I run a happier home where I think of dusting my treasures, making my pretty bed, washing my gorgeous teacups, and even cleaning up after kitties as BLESSING my home. When you begin to believe that, it's no longer work.

I was single once and did find I did not mind cleaning near as much..it is challenging trying to keep a place clean when others you live with do not respect the hard work you do...they may as well poop and pee on the floors after they are mopped because some show so much disregard for the person who cleans a house...

Housekeeping in a family was likened once to shoveling snow in a snowstorm.

Most definitely my Mom. No matter how tired she is, it's a must her house is clean. If it's dirty, she can't sleep. I don't think I'm as bad, but I'm sure my kids would beg to differ.

I grew up in a house where we ran around in our sock feet (being barefoot was a no-no) and the bottoms of my socks were never dirty. I have as yet not been able to pull that off in my house. My grandparents lived with us and my grandmother did the majority of the cleaning; something she confided in me that she 'loved' doing. I was her built-in labor force, especially during summer vacation. I really can't say I learned housekeeping from her as much as I followed orders. She was not mean, I loved and adored her, she just knew how she wanted things done. I didn't discover my handicap until I got my own place and realize I knew how to do the work but did not know how to translate it to my own home. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned but never seemed to make any progress. It took me a long time to perfect an organization chart of sorts to accomplish the cleaning. I hope I'm doing better with teaching my two sons the merits and the whys-and-how's of cleaning. When they were younger their chores weren't done up to my standard but we lived with their praised efforts; over time, repetition and helpful suggestions improved their results. Today both are in college, both living in apartments, both keeping their places clean and organized. I must say my oldest is better at doing laundry than his brother but my youngest is a better cook than his older brother. And with the exceptions of some pretty stressful courses they are happy well adjusted young men. I credit a lot of that to living in a clean, comfortable, well organized home-away-from-home.

I learned the basic principles of housekeeping from my mom through doing. My two siblings and I were all given tasks appropriate to our ages, which of course led to some resentment - "Why does she get the easy job? *whines*" - but once we all could read, and our physical lifting/carrying/coordination skills were all about the same, weekly chores were written on cue cards so we knew exactly what was expected of us. If we were sloppy, we had to do the job again until we got it right, and if we had a bad attitude, we received appropriate punishment on top of doing the required chores. None of use liked the chores, I didn't always obey, and sometimes it seemed like we were the only kids with all the chores and no allowance. In time, I did learn enough that my mom trusted me to help with her housecleaning business (as if she couldn't get enough cleaning?!). To this day, I don't like housework of any kind, and I don't look forward to cooking/baking unless I have something specific in mind, but I can do both tasks well enough that no one has to wear a hazmat suit or worry about food poisoning when they come visit! I have a husband and a stepson who visits once every two weeks, and it feels like I'm forever picking up after both of them because neither of them grasps the difference it makes when one simply puts an item back from whence it came. My stepson is 13 going on 5, and my husband is a dear, sweet man who can't stand touching anything dirty, even if it's just a recently used dish, so it looks like I'm forever on my own if I want anything done. Also, my taste in decor is atrocious because we grew up in a rented house and my parents were nervous about putting pictures on the wall or fragile things on display. My dad thought pretty things were all frivolous anyway and made my mom get rid of many of her treasures to make room for his hoarding habit, consisting mostly computer parts and other outdated tech that he planned on fixing one day. To this day I still can't match colours, so I've resorted to wearing the exact same thing every day and I have to purge repeatedly to keep myself from hoarding.

I used to think that I was a terrible housekeeper until a very good and kind friend offered to let me use her washer and dryer since I didn't have one. I did my laundry there only a handful of times out of pure desperation because her definition of "clean" was sketchy at best, and I didn't dare put my clean clothes down on any surface if I wanted them to stay clean. It was an eye-opener, comparing her house with what I remembered my house being like when I was at the age her two children are now. I will always appreciate her generosity, and her good heart, but I guess I'm just more of a neatnik than I realized. I'm glad that I learned what I did from my mom, who had the patience of Job when it came to raising her children, because now I live at the end of Canada opposite from where I grew up, and no one is going to bail me out if I screw up. So far, so good.

My parents were great role models. They kept a clean, reasonably quiet, organized & clutter free home. There was always plenty of space to do gymnastics in the house, play house (with our dolls) and get our homework done either in our rooms or at the dining room table. Later, while in college, I took a summer job working for Merry Maids, where I learned how to clean houses & apartments, professionally. I earned good income by learning to work fast & efficiently.

I observed my parents and how they kept things from ever being found in the wrong place. everything had a place where it belonged. I kept it that way too as well as teach it to my sons. I give them their grandfathers example of keeping the house clean.
I inherited my design sense from my mom and organizing skills from my dad. An awesome combo to keep a neat and tidy house. though it sometimes is contrary to it when kids scatter their stuff.
thanks mom and dad.

My father was the cleaner and cook in my family. I think it came from his growing up as the oldest in a cramped house with siblings who wouldn't keep their mitts off of anything, combined with a stint in the Coast Guard. I think the regimented "ship-shape" mentality was appealing to his nature and it carried over into civilian life. My brother and I were expected to be up at a decent hour, even on summer vacation! We were taught to put things back where we found them and keep things neat and tidy on a daily basis. We accomplished this with varying degrees of success. Okay...we were sloppy, and destructive. Sorry Dad! Seriously, getting us to clean our rooms and keep them that way was an ongoing and frustrating process for my parents. My closest literally had strata. You could have staged an archeological dig in there. I'd throw clothes, toys, school papers, etc. in there and it would pile up like compost. I shudder to think about it now, and I get irritated by my children's messy rooms. Circle of life, I guess.

Saturday was "Cleaning Day", where the whole family pitched in. Both of my parents worked full time, so we'd do a deeper cleaning on the weekend. Dusting, vacuuming, changing sheets in my room weekly, were the first chores I took on. My brother and I would clear the table and either load the dishwasher, or one would wash and the other dry. By 11 or 12, I was doing laundry on my own and hanging it on the line, vacuuming, sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning pet food bowls, changing litter, etc.

I believe observing my parents having a schedule and standards for cleaning, as well as expecting me to participate, helped me learn how to maintain a household. I was somewhat sloppy and reluctant as a kid, but when I got to college and encountered roommates that ranged from lackadaisical to downright filthy and disgusting, I turned into my neatnik father. I finally saw the beauty, and peace of cleanliness. And it's not just aesthetics! A clean home keeps YOU healthier. I actually know people who suffer from respiratory illnesses, bad skin and/or have had food poisoning because of a lack of housekeeping skills. There is a connection!

I was a self- starter early on in life ... I would have got better training from a wolf!

Or a moose, Margo?

Or a bear, Karemore? *waving* ;)

Mum taught us so we could pull our weight around the house and garden. Most of the families I know, the teens don't do anything.

Lol Margo....like Mowgli and Ballou:) (Jungle Book)
Waving back at ya!

My experiences are totally different, my room was very clean as a child, my mom insisted, by jr. high, I spent 3-5 hours ironing my stepdads clothes, etc, every Saturday. But all this was reflected off her getting drunk and swiping everything to the floor. She would buy me beautiful things and then destroy, then when sober would blame me for destroying my stuff. It is odd, because when our home was robbed she got mad at me because I did not call the police, but I did not want the strangers in my home. I trust people of authority no more than the bad guys. I love my stuff, but have little value of it, or I keep it in odd places not jewelry boxes and stuff where you expect. My money is rarely in a wallet. When I had my son, I found you can not have quality time without quantity, you have to make some choices, mine were often to be with him, not to force him to clean. i would just shut the door on his room when necessary. He is now a neat nick. My second husband has a hard time with doing things often. I am now disabled, so things are even more difficult. But we can always get to the doors, we wear clean clothes, and we eat off clean china. Is that not the most important of all? My home is rarely spotless, but I keep it as clean as I can. i will admit, can't remember the last time I held an iron. And I always have quality time for those that matter. Oh yes, and now my mom's huge house is a wreck, she bought tons of stuff while going through a divorce, and does not know where to put it all. So I guess it all came back to bite her. lol

havingfun - funny about the ironing seeming so far back ... I thought hmmm when did I last iron? well because it's part of your sharing about your mother: I have watched the tv show about hoarding, and it is enlightening....often starts after trauma, and it is sad -Deb

My mom, a nurse, tried so hard to get us 6 kids to help her and her mom keep the house clean. It always turned out easier to just do it themselves. My husband, the oldest of three, did all the cleaning and cooking, as both parents worked jobs that often required them to stay late. He is a very neat person, and I learned to be neat too. The house is cleanish, but looks cleaner than it might be, because there is no clutter. So we clean the countertops of kitchen and baths at least once a day, last one to use the shower wipes down the taps and hand held shower head and squeegees the glass, then sprays Method Daily Shower cleaner on the floors and walls. Toilets once a week, floors vacuumed every two weeks, mopped once a month, spot cleaned as needed. Dishes done after every meal. When we lived in Northern Virginia, we dusted constantly, it seemed like every time we opened a window the dust poured in. Here in Florida, we have the windows open all the time, but there's rarely dust. That really helps keep the house clean. And my husband does most of the vacuuming, dusting and kitchen, I do the two baths, it takes us two hours total.

havingfun..I can so relate to your situation....but I am seeing the majority here have had good experiences....but I too live like you....a clean house is not the end all be all in life....especially if you make your children the maids, butlers, etc...it has made me very bitter...and like you...I can close doors....I don't make beds every morning or do dishes after each and every meal...I do like a clean stove and counter tops..I do not like clutter..but if I have to choose between cleaning or having fun..I choose having fun..the cleaning will be there when I get back

By reading books and working at the local 7-Eleven I learned most of my cleaning skills. But I learn something new every time I go out to clean a home or office. Sadly, I don't apply enough of my skills or time to keeping up with my own home. My lovely wife hates house cleaning (lol) so it's all on me.

I learned how to clean and keep house from my mom! Our family never had a lot of money but we do know how to clean!

I'm an oddball in my family. My parents kept a very messy house and paid the bills just enough to keep lights on. Some long-gone grandparent must have passed down a gene that makes me high strung. I remember volunteering to wash the dishes around 10 or 12. As an adult it's always just come natural to me. Common sense says if you spend a lot of money on a dresser you should keep it nice. For me it wasn't about learning, just following impulse.

My Mom was a clean freak but I didn't turn in to one until we remodeled our current home. Now I'm obsessed with keeping it looking nice. That's not easy to do with two cats and a golden retriever not to mention my husband! He's trying though :)

We need to get our windows cleaned! I called our cleaning ladies and the owner told me her window washer just quit. The windows are too high for me to do them myself. I'm terrified of ladders. I need to find someone soon because it's driving me crazy!

I've always been puzzled by those who say I should relax and have fun... um... a clean house is fun for me. I find housework and gardening to be therapeutic. Although I have a dishwasher, I prefer to hand wash because it helps me decompress. Pop in some headphones, listen to an online lecture, and just go to my happy place with a sink full of dishes. The stereotype of a rigid, unhappy clean freak is just that -- a stereotype.

Susan Mooney, that blue brick is delightful! I like your style!

Thank you 111ideahound! We are enjoying our new space for sure. I'm getting better about not hounding my husband so much. "pick that up" "go wash your hands" etc. LOL!

Thanks Hope ForBest! It took me several trips to the tile store to finally decide on that back splash. The kitchen is so small and the tile was a huge part of it so it had to be something I wouldn't regret. And I don't!

Exactly 111ideahound. I would tell my friends after the remodel I have the new car syndrome. After the first scratch you don't care as much!

Are you the sort of person who freezes in panic when forced to choose a shade of beige? That's me. :-D Transitional purist.

I hate beige LOL! Although my living room walls are a gray/beige. It's very light and looks more gray than beige. I love it. Transitional purist!

Smoky/silvery beige is becoming a thing. I liked it before it was cool!

Hey Susan Mooney, just a thought, you can get window poles and attach a window scrubber and a squeegee to the poles and clean your windows without using a ladder.

Everything I learned by doing - chores! If you didn’t do it well enough the first time you did it again. As far as managing household funds, that I learned by watching my parents scrimp to finally buy a house, pay the bills, maintain the house. No bill got left unpaid or paying the minimum ever. They only spent what they could afford to pay. In fact I don’t think they had a credit card until I was much older. I was the only one who ever got new clothes until we were teenagers and couldn’t wear each other’s tops anymore haha. Everything got handed down. Even shoes. Sometimes my sisters would complain they didn’t fit right but not often. Mostly my dad did household repairs himself. He built our basement with our help as carpenter helpers. He always did his own taxes. And they managed to save for a very comfortable retirement on two teachers salaries before there were big pay raises.