Based on the continuing popularity of recessed lighting as a way to get one layer of light--like how you're doing it, planning to have other light sources in the room along with the recessed fixtures on dimmers (great work all around!)--I would say your mother-in-law is incorrect in saying it's out of style and not desired by buyers. If in the future you did want to move away from recessed fixtures without tearing up the ceiling, there are little covers you can buy to put on the fixtures. But since you said you're moving into a recently purchased home, I assume you're not going to move any time soon, so put in the recessed lighting with dimmers and enjoy it in your home.

I don't think it's out of style at all but I do think it can be overdone. Our living room has 14 (yep! 14) pot lights and it's blinding. We never even use them. But it sounds like you're on the right track to limit the quantity and not make them exclusive to the room.

Recessed lighting causes in incredible amount of heat or air conditioning loss check with any energy audit person. I also find them incredible ugly, sterile and office like, not mention distracting. I strongly suspect that recessed cans will be the track lighting of the 1980's a short lived fad that costs a lot to remove. In terms of resale value, let me tell you that I am looking for a home but I automatically cross off my list any homes that have recessed lighting because I would have to hire an electrician to remove them and then a contractor to redo the ceiling and insulation. Please use as many pendants, scones and individual lamps that you like but don't do any recessed lighting it is so ugly. I completely agree with your Mother in-law.

I’ve had recessed lighting in my last three homes the past 30 years. They’re not in every room & they are all on dimmers. I disagree with the above comment, they can be unobstrusive and very effective when used in appropriate settings. I have lots of beautiful art in my home that is enhanced by judiciously placed recessed lighting. I think you should do what you want, it’s your house & personally, I really don’t care what others think. I think your mother in law should keep her opinions to herself unless asked, that’s what a smart mother in law does!

I love my recessed lighting. Mine are LED. In the top floor with them recessed into attic space, they are covered with so much cellulose insulation they do t lose heat. You could always use a temp gun to see if you have heat losses anywhere in your home, it's what I did.