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saintsleepless

House warming party dilemma

10 years ago
So, we are remodeling our home and when we are all finished, I want to have a wine and cheese party to celebrate and invite some friends. Thing is: I live in a very small town so my friends are very diverse socially. Two of my friends have beautiful homes, but a few of them are not so well-to-do. I don't want to hurt their feelings by not inviting them, but I would feel bad inviting them; like I don't want them to feel like I'm bragging about my new home when their places aren't very nice. Also, at least one of them tends to talk about things that might make my other friends uncomfortable. The thing is, I'm sure there will be pictures taken and put on facebook so if I didn't invite the less well-to-do ones will see that I had a party and might feel left out. but I don't want to invite them and rub it into their faces that I have this nice new house because I really care about them and I don't want them to feel jealous. Any ideas?

Comments (21)

  • 10 years ago

    Invite them all.

  • 10 years ago
    yah ur over thinking the party. their ur friend and friends love you no matter what, invite them over but just talk more about other things on the side to them and then bring in your home once in a while
  • 10 years ago

    Agree with auntthelma. Someone will always have more than you and someone will always have less. Be proud of what you worked for!

  • 10 years ago
    I agree invite them all. I'm not considered well to do in my social group either but that doesn't mean I'm not happy for others. If it's an open house people may only stay for a short while and there may not be an overlap if your different friends.
  • 10 years ago

    Agree, call it open house or wine and cheese, or cocktails, whatever, and enjoy everyone's company. Your friends can sort out the rest, and if they can't, they aren't really worth having as friends.

  • 10 years ago
    yeah, I mean I'm definitely not well to do, but I didn't want to be tacky and call them "poor" but they are and like one lady is a single mom who is struggling and I love her very much and I wish she was in a better situation than she's in and I don't want to rub it in her face. And the other two are on disability and are very poor.
  • 10 years ago

    Absolutely invite them all. And, hey, free drinks!

  • 10 years ago
    I have a very high level of empathy and although I want to celebrate, I don't want to make anyone feel jealous or anything
  • 10 years ago

    You don't call it a house warming and that way, no one feels they need to bring a gift. You are supplying food and drinks, so it should be easy for anyone to attend.

    If they don't want to come, they have that choice.

  • 10 years ago

    Anybody can choose to not come, but a good friend will be happier for your pleasure in this than sad for their own misfortune in light of it. They know you're rooting for them too.

  • 10 years ago
    If they're your friends, they'll see your home at some point anyway. And think how they'll feel seeing pictures of a party to which they weren't invited. Of course you should invite them!
  • 10 years ago

    Call it a friend appreciation party. Tell them you're serving them wine and cheese because you want to show them you are thankful for their friendship. Try to steer clear of talking about the house too much in front of the ones that are struggling financially. I'm sure they will appreciate your kindness. It is kind of you to even be thinking about how they will feel about your house so I'm sure your hospitality will shine more than any of your material possessions.

  • 10 years ago

    Look at it like this, you are friends with them all for some reason and I hope they all care about you. You can share and provide a social evening for all your friends. Current circumstances don't limit someone's ability to enjoy nice things. Don't underestimate your less financial well-off friends or insult them by excluding now.

  • PRO
    10 years ago

    IMO if you think think these people don’t belong for some reason that is your hangup I often have parties where all sorts of people come and have a great time and have made many new friends this has nothing to do with social status only a bunch of friends getting together

  • 10 years ago
    If you think about it, the financial status of your friends is not your business. And as long as you treat your hard-up friends with the same hospitality you'd offer to any other guest, then neither is their response any of your business. I'm assuming that your friends are grown-ups who've learned to deal with their feelings. You care about them, so invite them.
  • 10 years ago

    There's another way to look at it too. When my hubby was out of work, we were happy to go to a milestone birthday party at a family friend's mansion. We were served all manner of luxury foods we couldn't afford on unemployment benefits. Do that. It will be appreciated.

    I did not for one minute think those people were too posh or anything. I just enjoyed the night.

    we are no longer in that situation, but I still remember those nice catered nibbles.

  • 10 years ago

    You might invite some of the people who worked on your house too - people who aren't such close friends but give the others new folks to talk to (and perhaps buy services from). Not everyone will sort everyone out, but if they do, woo hoo - you are doing your part to keep the wonderful social mix that is America - where people can be friends with those of all backgrounds!! (this is unusual and wonderful and we should celebrate it!). If there is one who talks about uncomfortable things, speak to him/her before the party privately and ask her directly to avoid the subject at your gathering. . you can say there is someone else you have invited whose feelings might be hurt so you would appreciate it if she didn't bring that up . . I've had guests who wanted to talk politics to the point where others felt they might have to defend their perspective . . when I declare my party in advance a no politics zone, they respect it - so try that. Being direct is fine.

    Also .. generally the people you expect to be snobbish really aren't and like you better for just being you - they might be too insecure to be them.

  • 10 years ago
    last modified: 10 years ago

    Given their situation, they may not be able to get out very often and socialize and this is a casual and inexpensive way to enjoy themselves. They would probably enjoy seeing your home and be happy for you.

  • 10 years ago
    actually the one who behaves a little unappropriately will likely not come anyway
  • 10 years ago
    The lack of money doesn't make a person poor, the lack of love does. Please remember there is always someone who has less than you but there is also someone who has more.
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