Suddenly building...what's your best advice?

last year

My husband and I are typically very big planners but we have found ourselves starting a new build with zero preparations. Our home was completely destroyed by wildfires just 2 months ago. We have started the process of rebuilding (picked a builder, found a house plan to start with, had first meeting with a house plan designer, and I'm pinning things like crazy on Pinterest) but, as you can imagine, with everything else required after a devastating fire we are a tad bit overwhelmed. What is your best advice for us in starting this process? What do you wish you had considered/researched more when building a house from scratch? I wish we could take our time a bit more, but insurance will only pay for a rental for 12 months so we don't have that luxury (unless we want to live with my in-laws for awhile!). Thank you!

Featured Answer

M C

last year

Sorry for your situation. That’s a tough hand to be dealt. If you have a house plan you like, you are already 1 leg up. My advice is to make fewer decisions. Simplify. Select 1 flooring type throughout the house and stick with it. Pick one fixture/hardware finish and stick with it. Pick one cabinet color and stick with it. That means your floors will be cohesive, your baths and kitchen will echo each other, etc. Pick tile that is in a similar family for both, etc. It doesn’t mean matchy-matchy…unless that works for you and makes sense. This will build a cohesive feeling at the base level of the house and then you can spend your valuable time and energy in making it a home as you add pillows, art, blankets, etc. You are going to build a new home for yourselves so having a neutral backdrop to start from will make it so much easier. Of course, if you have a “dream” kitchen, bath, office, backyard that you’ve always wanted, this is the time. But if you are just looking at a fresh start, make fewer decisions, step back from Pinterest and get the bones right. I’ve worked with a lot of people in crisis and post-crisis (prof background) and your cognitive load is going to be stressed. That means decisions will be really hard, feel really big AND can overwhelm easily. It’s a common trauma response. As Just Jan I said, give yourself grace.. You’re dealing with enough right now.

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Comments (12)

PRO
Simon Templeton & Associates
last year
Get a second job for the inevitable overages and the rental when the hotel runs out.
PRO
Mark Bischak, Architect
last year
Building a home is opportunity to do something great. Doing anything right sometimes takes more time than desired, and many times compromises are made to save a month when it has to be lived with for many years. “Penny wise and pound foolish” applies to time too. Strive for excellence in architecture and it will enhance your life.
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chispa
last year
last modified: last year
My first thought is "Act in haste, repent at leisure", but maybe you have no other option.

I would make a list of what I loved in my previous house and what I hated. Make sure none of the things you hated will be in the new house.

It took us about a year to come up with our custom plans. I had spent the 10 years prior designing/building a guest house, remodeling 5 bathrooms, remodeling a kitchen, designing landscaping & hardscaping, all in our previous house, which was my "training/apprenticeship" to tackle a whole house. We had a great builder, but I was the designer and picked every single finish in the house. No one knew the house plan better than I did.

Personally I would not rule out the in-law option, if it gets you better result long term.
PRO
Mark Bischak, Architect
last year
Living with in-law helps build character and give you good stories to tell later in life. That's called 'experience'.
dan1888
last year
Move in with your inlaws now and pay them the 10 months left of rent. Maybe they can offer financial assistance down the road. Post info about your climate and family size with the plan you have. Get feedback. You can move forward with confidence when ready.
PRO
Charles Ross Homes
last year
Hi, Kristy,

I'm sorry for your experience.

Your situation creates a sense of urgency. That's not all bad (it keeps you from fine tuning the plan for months on end,) but it risks not dedicating sufficient time in the design phase to get things right. And "right" doesn't mean "perfect." An extra month in the design phase can pay back by reducing the number and associated cost and time of changes during construction.
theotherjaye
last year
last modified: last year
Specify eveything. You’d be surprised by the things we forgot to choose in advance - and we’re planners, too. The most idiotic was door locks - somehow we forgot about them until the builder was redy to start drillling the front door to install a standard deadbolt (we wanted - and got, after we ordered it - a smart lock). Things you care about may be something the builder has always just done standard. Conversely, things they assume you’ll want to spec may be things about which you could literally not care less (e.g. clothes rods). You just never know, and everyone (and I suspect every builder) cares about different stuff.
just_janni
last year
Set upi weekly touchpoints with your builder and get a feel for what's happening on site that week, what decisions need to be made and when so you can both stay ahead and stay on top. It will also help manage expectations and show your level of involvement and accessibility.

I suspect you are close and will be on site frequetly. Get to know the site superintendent. Also, if the builder has a designer s/he works with, utilize that service to help stay on target.

This is a terribly stressful time, after a tragic event. Remind yourself nothing is perfect, and give yourself grace.

One last thing - consider an independent insurance adjuster - I've heard they can drive some pretty good outcomes with the insurance companies (who WILL try to strong arm you and give you less than your policy allows). having someone to advocate and knows the ins and outs of insurance could pay for itself and you have an ally.
M C
last year
That should have been just_janni but auto correct thinks it knows best! Good luck and may you celebrate your new place!
Good luck
dani_m08
last year
I just wanted to say how much I feel for what you're going through - my mom had a fire a week before Christmas about 15 years ago. She was devastated (even though she knew that in the end, she would have a brand new home). We were able to save a bunch of old photos - which were extremely important to her).

She wound up living with me for awhile because there were delays + she didn't want to be pressured into making decisions too quickly. I told her that it didn't make sense to let her insurance company push her into decisions that she wasn't entirely sure about when I had a guest room + en suite bathroom that she was welcome to use for as long as she needed.

Plus, my daughters were excited to have their nana live with them for awhile!

I hope that everything goes well for you!
PRO
Mark Bischak, Architect
last year
last modified: last year
Living with in-laws works better when your husband wears a tuxedo and cooks and serves every meal and you wear that short black dress with the ruffled white apron and help prepare meals and clean every home in their house. They will feel like the owe you, even if it is just a tip.

Headband and feather-duster optional.