Do you like that look? I assume not, if you're asking :-)) Since the existing conifers cannot be pruned into a better look, yes, you need to remove them. And as they are far too large to transplant, that means killing them.

It’s a mercy, they have served their time. Look forward to beauty!

I like them. They have a great Bonsai look to them. There are always people on Houzz who recommend removing every lovely, healthy plant and starting over. Don't listen to them.

They are neither lovely nor healthy. They are crowding the porch/entry area and since pruning is a no-go for both aesthetic reasons and size reduction, what is the alternative? The entire point of the OP's post is "porch aesthetic". There is none if those remain in place.

They were never in the right location. You don't plant anything that big next to the stairs or entrance. Additionally, there are some shrubs which have a life expectancy, then they begin to fail. That's what yours are doing.....failing.

Very bad Fung Shui. Live healthy LOW plants should be placed in the planting beds.

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We really need a picture from further back to get a better sense of how they impact your house.

Why anyone cares about feng shui is a mystery to me.

Can you post a picture from further back so that we can see the entire front of the house..

This is so great, I love every comment.

I don't think they were supposed to get that big.

Like they were meant to have a Bonsai vibe but weren't maintained.

And the one on the left must have gotten more sun.

How can you tell they're failing?

“How can you tell they’re failing?” i don’t think that’s relevant … they’re not attractive & , even IF they were ( attractive ) they’re situated in the wrong place.

So cold hearted. 🖤

They do look cute when it snows...

I don't mind that they're not geometric. But they're overgrown and I walk into spider silk strung across them when I leave the house.

And if they're sick...

Can I keep the one on the right? 🥺

Sorry those will only be worse as time goes by. Have them moved no killing involved . They need to have spac to grow and the house needs space to breathe

Patricia Colwell has given great advice - move the evergreens to another location that does not crowd the entrance. They do look to need some attention to.

"Have them moved" is a lot easier said than done. Conifers of that size and age will have a significant rootball that should be left as intact as possible when moving to have any assurance a transplant would take or survive. This is not really a manageable DIY project under the best of circumstances so the very tight, limited siting complicates the process even more.

What if you cut the bottom branches of both shrubs to have them look like ornamental trees?

Another view from the porch with the picture you just posted.

Here's another view

Anna, I know just how you feel, but the advice here is good. They’re just too big for that location. I think you’ll be very pleased with something smaller/lower.

Would you consider cloud pruning them?

I had to look up cloud pruning... we might be on to something. There's a lot of dead growth at the bottom which I thought would leave weird gaps (in fact I retrained a branch to fill one). lisedv, you planted the seed, if you will, that we don't need those lower branches (thank you for the wonderful visual!!)

The beauty of "niwaki" is that it embraces gaps--along with asymmetry.

I'm getting excited to try this! Worst case is they don't make it through my amateur surgery and then I'll be able to accept putting them out of their misery.

Now I just need to sell this to my husband. If any of you creative people would enjoy making a rendering for inspo it would certainly be appreciated.

I hereby give you permission to keep them both, though pruned back a bit so that the left one has the same shape as the right one, only bigger. I know what you mean about how evergreens like that look great in the snow.

You can do more to your front door and the façade, though, so the house has more impact:

--Mix of shrubs to the left and right. Get a garden designer to come up with a plan. The rest of the plantings are so skimpy next to the conifers, so you need some balance.

--Nice bigger black vertical mailbox.

--Two modern black sconce lights.

Tristan 1-Light Outdoor Wall Sconce 14" High, Textured Black · More Info

--Black front door and screen door.

--Black shutters.

Have they been shaped before? Maybe instead of pruning you could start with hedge clippers to make them less bulgy, more conical/sliim. See if they fill in.

They should not infringe on the railing or steps. Not a good flow for foot traffic or for leading the eye (which is what Feng Shui is). Leave a good clearance.

No tsure they need to be the same height, one is raised anyway.

You had me at the snow comment lol, must be so pretty.

To my eye, they are past the time when they can look good no matter what you do to them. Start over with smaller things that will not infringe.

I had to research 'cloud pruning,' as well. Sounds like a high-maintenance option. If I'm honest, I see them as a feature in a Dr. Seuss book.

Honestly, I don’t know why this dilemma was even posted. The OP seems determined to keep them contrary to common sense advice. So, keep them, it’s not a crime. This reminds me of the old proverb “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear”.

The point about the retaining walls is important. If the beds were built up after the trees and shrubs were in situ you've got a problem.

As for the conifers, I am a huge tree and shrub fan. I don't mind big trees or 'messy' trees. I don't mind shrubs crowding the path or hiding the house. I don't mind cobwebs brushing my face. But you do, so those two conifers are in the wrong place for you.

Well, I’ll add my opinion even though the original poster asked for advice but seems to have predetermined what s/he is going to do regardless:

In the far-back picture it is obvious that these trees were ill-placed in the very beginning. They should have been planted at the house corners. Or literally anywhere else.

As-is, there’s no doubt they need to be gone.

Both small porch trees are affected by the lovely huge trees in the front yard. Those big trees block sunlight.

The small conifers could make good Christmas trees if you decide to take them out.

@simplynatural 😍 That's PERFECT. I couldn't envision a way to prune them into a better shape but I think my tree guy and I were just thinking too traditionally.

The retaining wall is only on the left and has been there at least 10 years but is definitely newer than the trees. There's a lavender bush but not much else as we're nervous about watering there. The right side has some grape hyacinths and daffodils in the Spring and I don't know what that bush is.

Anyway I hope to start hacking away at it soon. Some spider habitats may be sacrificed. And if it doesn't work out, there's a lot of good arguments that they've served their time. But again I'm excited to try this first.

Think of pruning these as large scale bonsai. There are lots of illustrated guides to making bonsai out of ordinary junipers or other small conifers. In my area with many 8-foot-tall, decades-old junipers, the Dr. Seuss "muffin on a stick" look is far more common than the horizontal cloud pruning look.

One rule of thumb for shrubs along walkways is to keep their branches a foot away from the edge of the walkway. That allows your shoulder to not brush against the branches with their spider habitats.

Please post an update when you are ready.

I’m very interested to see your pruning results. Good luck!

First pass on left tree. This was mostly removing dead branches. Since the top is healthier it will require more art. The visual from @simplynatural will help.

Shrubs at the front like that was a fad decades ago. Remove the shrubs and plant flowers. Also plant flowers on both sides of the sidewalk about 2-3". Grass should never butt up next to a house/garage, driveway or sidewalk. Plant bulbs to come up in Spring, perennials to bloom in the summer and fall blooming - all in the same beds. Hostas are quite common and everyone has them, but they do look good - get a few different varieties. Try to find free plants that someone is splitting - ask neighbors and look on craigslist. Have fun - you will burn calories and lose weight whether you need to or now while digging up shrubs and grass.

For what it’s worth, I think the pruning has lightened the look. Good luck on the second trim! With their new look, it will help to envision and plan the rest of the beds.

Good luck! Pruning first then moving is my vote.

Hi Anna, Your house is beautiful and the front planting area has so much potential to put in the plants that YOU like, things that bring you joy. You don't HAVE to kill anything, but you have the option of trying to move them--sometimes they like their new place, sometimes not. I don't think they are dying so much as just not thriving. They are meant to be grown in a large space, and are "stunted" here, but it can be corrected. I would definitely prune all the way up to the area where it has the heaviest growth, and follow the natural curve...it will resemble a topiary. The one on the right, since it is so much smaller, will still look "odd", but at least it will look more manicured. In the fall, you can set yellow, red and/or purple mums underneath--don't plant them though, you'll have a heck of a time getting through those tree roots. In the winter, replace the mums with pointsettias, and if you decorate for Christmas, this is a perfect area to set up your decor.

To correct the difference in height, you can put in a garden sculpture next to the smaller tree, something whimsical installed on a metal pole sunk into the ground. Top of the sculpture should be around the same height as the tree on the left. On the left side, another sculpture, smaller than the right side, and set at the same height as the top of the right side tree. Twinkle lights in each tree will draw attention at night, and make sure you highlight the sculptures too. Small solar lights around the potted mums, pointsettas, etc., will highlight at night. If you live in a very cold climate, fake poinsettias will last through the winter! ;-)

Change potted flowers with the seasons. This will give you about a year to see how everything works. Maybe trimming them up to topiary size/height will keep them alive longer. It can't hurt, and if you don't like the look of them trimmed, you can always dig them up and replant elsewhere. It's very difficult to dig them up, and you might have to take apart the concrete block wall so that doesn't get destroyed. If you go the route of cutting them down and grinding the trunk and roots, you can replace with an arbor with vining plants like morning glory, clematis, mandevilla, with seasonal plantings like vinca, pansies, etc around the rest of the planting area. Don't forget the solar twinkle lights wrapped around the arbor.

Good luck, and come back to let us know what you will be doing :-)

Anna, why do you want to keep them? There has been lots of great advice here. They are too long in the tooth to resurrect in any desirable way. Also, from one of the photos it looks like the big tree on the corner of your house is not very happy either.

Try a different perspective. Instead of focusing on those 2 plants, ask yourself the question, what is attractive about my house, and how do I enhance that?

I'll start. I love your warm brick color. The colors that enhance it would be the opposite ones on the color wheel. Blues and blue-greens. Lots of shrubs have a blue tone rather than bright green or yellow green. Or there are annuals and perennials too. Lots of blue toned hosta leaves (if shady) or sedum leaves (if sunny) would look wonderful with your brick. Or the soft blue gray leaves of lamb's ears. For flowers, white flowers would pick up the color of your white trim. White sweet alyssum is so easy to grow, and would look great cascading slightly over your brick edging, softening it. And not too tall to plant in front of your basement windows. Or a pale yellow bloom. In the fall, choose dark rust or orange chrysanthemums in pots, rather than anything pink. Soft purples look great. Avoid reds ang pinks. My home is also "orange" and so I use the same color palate,

Houses look good with the focus is on the front door, and less on the garage etc. So I'd repaint your garage door from its white (which draws the eye) and choose a brown that is a duller darker version of your brick color. Paint the downspouts the same.

I'm not a fan of the shutters but you may be. I just think the house looks better without. Use larger house "jewelery" LOL, i.e. light, house numbers, mail box.

As far as the size and placement of your plants, the tall ones should go on the left corner and in between the windows. Don't try to be symmetrical on either side of the porch, just think about the plant height in relation to the amount of bare brick and the height of the window.

Another very nice thing about your house is the pathway from the sidewalk to the front door. On Houzz, it's something that is often recommended and you have it already in place. It draws the eye to the front door so beautifully. If you're up for a bit more gardening work ongoing (i.e. edging the bed) accent it even more by adding plantings on either side of the walkway, either all the way or just nearer the house. It will soften the hard corner where the sidewalks meet.

Here's my mock up, please excuse the rudimentary photo shop skills, but just to give you an idea of how to enhance your house.

This is a great time to plant new shrubs and perennials. Repeat the same plant several times, instead of doing one of each.

As far as your existing shrubs, these will not survive transplanting. I would do a "Marie Kondo" and "thank them for their service" LOL, and move on. I'm an avid gardener and one of the joys and sorrows of gardening is that plants are not with us forever. You're not cutting down a heritage oak tree here.

I love the blue/gray concept proposed by partim and would add to that list Dusty Miller which would pick up the roof color. Blue Fescue is very nice.

Yes to Dusty Miller. I couldn't think of the name! Also it needs little water once established, which will allay the concerns about water close to the house.

I just realized how wide the porch is. It would look so much better if the porch was visible, not just the narrow stairs. Plantings in front of the porch should show all of the top railing, and most of the balusters. Add a chair or bench under the mailbox to look even more welcoming.

I've never posted in this forum before, but my perspective is slightly different. You said 'porch aesthetic' but as partim noted, the porch is not visible, just the stairs, and the stairs and pathway seem about the same width as the door - offering a narrow almost hidden view and access - not really welcoming: an outdated aesthetic, common years ago but not visually showing off your lovely home to its best advantage. If you can imagine a widened area that opens near the end of the path with a very large squat bulbous planter on it on either side under the railings filled with greenery and flowers and/or an evergreen possibly conical in shape which maintains it's size....I don't have the skills others do to mock it up - maybe someone could? It would open the front 'stoop' area, look intentional and allow your home to breathe. I suspect you intuitively know that the improved look you prefer is not going to be provided by trying to hang onto what is actually causing the problem.

Anna - I recall someone saying that having two tall-ish shrubs on either side of the front door resembles guards or sentries -- meaning they 're not welcoming. My advice would be to have something shorter and rounder on either side, much like partim proposed -- and the blue-ish tones look great with your house. You certainly could find some shorter evergreens that would still look good when the snow falls on them.

You mentioned that you're reluctant to do much watering near your house, so I would advise that you look for plants that are "water-wise" rather than water-sensitive. For example, a Blue-Star Juniper is naturally rounded, blue-ish in color, drought tolerant, growing to a maximum size of 1-3 feet tall and wide at maturity. You didn't mention your location, but this juniper is rated for zone 4 to 9. If budget is a concern, maybe you could pay someone to remove these two shrubs and grind the stumps, and then amend the soil. Then consider the Blue-Star Juniper, Tater Tot Arborvita (zone 3 to 8, 1-2 feet tall and wide at maturity), or a Soft-Touch Holly (zone 5 to 9, 2-3 feet tall and wide a maturity). Many other options are available.

I've noticed in my own neighborhood that when the owner removes tall and overgrown shrubs and replaces them with newer and shorter shrubs, the house looks younger.

Have some fun researching replacement plants, and I'm betting you could get over the loss of the current shrubs -- and really enjoy that your house looks brand-new and welcoming with its more visible porch and front door!

Those shrubs are Alberta spruce. They're popular shrubs because they maintain their compact dense shape without any pruning, and are also valued because they are very slow growing so it takes a long time before they outgrow their space. Sadly, they are no longer appropriate for their original purpose which was a very small shrub on either side of the steps. Time marches on!

Thanks for all the suggestions. Here's where the second trim landed. As @kazzh mentioned, I think the pruning has lightened the look.

It may have "lightened the look" but it hasn't improved it. In fact, IMO it looks worse.

I don't know if just removing the bottom branches would have given a better result but it's too late for that now. At this point, I would remove the 2 shrubs, they really don't look nice.

I agree they still need to be removed, and new plantings put in. For me that is part of the joy of gardening, removing old plants, that are no longer suitable, or nice looking, and putting in new, healthy ones, watching them grow.

The attempt at soft cloud pruning was not successful. They now look scraggly and unhealthy, and make your house look uncared for. They are still too large for that spot. My honest opinion, I know it's not what you want to hear.

If you get to the point of deciding to remove them, maybe you could first cut the branches off and make a wreath out of them -- making something new out of something old?

In the coming months we will begin an extension to our home. I will be happy / sad to bid farewell to the Pieris Japonica and Helleri holly that I planted many years ago. The andromeda are very pretty, but for both types of shrub I am mostly engaged in avoiding being swallowed. They eventually get too big for the location.