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Help with my mom’s bathroom

23 days ago

I’m in the middle of remodeling my mom’s house to make it safer for her. She is 76 and I’m doing a complete gut on her bathroom. I’m putting in a curbless shower with large format tile that has white, gray, and gold in it. I’m doing all gold fixtures. She needs two new vanities and I would really like dark green or gray or blue. Like the picture below. She is set on white. I need advice on how to convince her white is not the way to go. Especially if we are going to sell her house in the next 5 years. We are spending over $100k to update her house. I feel like if we are going to do this, we should do it right. I think white is going to be boring and out of style.

Comments (25)

  • 23 days ago

    White is classic, it will never be out of style. Colored cabinets will phase out as they always do. Also, consider that white will also reflect more light around the room. More light is important for aging eyes that struggle to discern details, shapes, etc. What is your priority here? Safety for your mother or resale after she is gone.

  • 23 days ago

    Who’s bathroom is it? White will never go out of style, the other colors will.

  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    Dark vanities won’t be any more appealing in 5 years time (or presently) than white or a lighter color. It’s more about how the bathroom feels in its entirety: tiles, flooring, counter. Be sure you want to convince her, given it won’t be a factor in selling but it would make her happy. Perhaps a light vanity, white walls/counter/flooring may appeal to her and show her on line examples.


  • 23 days ago

    I would choose white and add the colors you love in textiles and decor.

    you didn't mention the size of the room or whether or not there is natural light.

    I would stay away from anything GRAY.

  • 23 days ago

    You can’t go wrong with white. And it’s what your mother wants in her bathroom. Functional design, construction, and a hard-wearing, easy to clean finish are on balance more important.

  • PRO
    23 days ago

    100K of remodeling might net you a 40% gain in home value, if the house is in the right neighborhood, and the rest haven't remodeled. You're trying to do this for you. It might be unconscious, but it's all about your opinions and likes. Not for you mom, and it certainly is not for resale. Resale would be sell it now in the condition it's in before you spend more money on projects that won't add value. https://www.jlconline.com/cost-vs-value/2025/

  • PRO
    23 days ago

    I'm 72, and what younger people don't realize is that our eyes need 4x as much light as when we were younger. That's why we like light, reflective, bright, rooms. So we can see. Dark anything is a NOPE.


    Also, most of us do NOT physically need a curbless shower at all. Stepping over a 4" curb is very doable for most. If your mom can't do that, you are already past the time to sell the house and move. And we certainly do not need the 5K+ cost increase to do one. Or to have to find the much more expert tile pro who doesn't think that curbless is just a standard shower and remove the curb. Lots of structural differences needs to happen.


    Unless you are doing this remodel for you, because you will buy the house, then listen to the one who owns the house. Don't bully her. And if you are the one who will buy the house, you have a lot of issues moving forward with moving her to an assistant living and the timing of divesting the assets. You really should have talked to a financial planner first.

  • 23 days ago

    What you mentioned that WILL be ”out of style” is all gold fixtures. I‘m old enough to remember them in the 80’s. I realize that today’s gold is a more muted, brushed gold rather that the shiny, rather garish, highly polished fixtures in the 80’s, but they will be considered passe at some point, like just about everything. I prefer stainless or polished nickel, but that’s not appealing to everyone.

    Styles come & go faster all the time in today's world.

  • PRO
    23 days ago

    White cabinets will never go out of style. Neither will stainless or nickel (polished or brushed) hardware.


    What will go out of style is colored cabinets such as your green shown and gold hardware.

  • PRO
    23 days ago

    Mom knows best. This isn't your house. Back off.

  • 23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    The colors YOU want will be outdated in a very few years and are already feeling a bit tired in design circles. White is always classic, it *never* goes out of style and looks clean. What's trending on Pinterest will do you no favors come resale time. All gold fixtures are already dated. And seriously, why would you not want your mom to get what SHE wants, in her own home, for however long she can live there? Not to mention that for resale, white IS the right thing.

  • PRO
    23 days ago
    last modified: 23 days ago

    THis is not your space it is hers treat her with respect . Are you planning on kicking her out in 5 yrs or what > I am 79 we just bought a new to us house and plan on living there for a long time unfortunately now by myself but still do not plan to leave any time soon I do not tell y kids how to decorate and they sure do not tell me

  • 22 days ago

    Has construction started or are you in the design stage?

  • 22 days ago

    A few years ago I remodeled my master bath. My designer convinced me I should use dark gray for the cabinets. What did I know? I disliked them greatly. I lived with them for a few months to see if they would grow on me but they didn’t and I ended up having them painted white. As a senior myself I also find bright is better.

    As some others have said your mother should be ok with a small curb. I have a bad knee that doesn’t bend all the way and have no trouble getting in and out. Make sure you have a grab bar she can hold onto when getting in and another grab bar for her to hold onto while she is in the shower. I have a long horizontal one. You can find great looking grab bars today that don’t look institutional and that match the rest of your hardware.

    Make sure to locate the control for turning the water on where she can reach it before she has to step into the shower. Finally, have a regular shower head and a hand held shower head installed. This will come in handy if she needs to use a shower chair.

  • 22 days ago

    Mom knows best!

  • 22 days ago
    last modified: 22 days ago

    Agreed, mom knows best. It is respecting her, rather than discounting her opinions.


    Also, be cautious with tile-I redid our guest bathroom and discovered recently that, for me at 73, the wet shower floor was very slippery. No guests (so far all family members) mentioned that to me, so maybe it is just a "getting older issue." The same is true in another bathroom where if someone happens to step off the bathmat with wet feet, it is also slippery. Love tile, but planning to make is safe is important and seems like large tile with fewer grout lines could be problematic.

  • 22 days ago

    Your mother is a decade+ older than me, but white cabinetry is the way to go. Classic and more timeless in a bathroom setting than those saturated dark colors in your photo. Those might be fine in a mudroom or laundry though.

    Be sure to put in grab bars, very good lighting, and a bidet/high rise toilet.

  • 22 days ago

    I am almost the same age as Rainbow Colors, and white would be a big no for me - too sterile looking for me after having worked in hospitals and clean rooms. I like color, but let your mother get what she likes.

  • 22 days ago

    I’m adding plenty of grab bars, the bidet toilet, curbless in case she ends up in a wheelchair. I’m making the decisions because she says she doesn’t care what goes in the house. The vanities are the first time she has said no. She currently has white vanities and they are very dirty and yellow. She never cleans her house and I’m trying to make things easier for her.

  • 22 days ago

    I’m open to white oak or light gray or anything outside of boring white. But if she wants white I will relent and add white. This is her renovation.

  • 22 days ago

    She has requested the curbless shower. NOT ME!!!

  • 22 days ago

    Your mother is lucky to have you. You’re putting a lot of thought and care into this. We didn’t understand how much! I still think white is the way to go. I hope you can find an easy-to-clean finish not too prone to yellowing. And don’t worry too much about resale value. Clean and functional willhelp the most.

  • PRO
    22 days ago

    This is why posts need all the info at the beginning . She is smart to want a wheel in shower if she is concerend but remebr now the whole bathroom needs to water proof and huge since now ADA is on the plate .

  • 21 days ago

    Your "mom house" ideabook shows you are looking at simplicity and streamlining in several photos like the one below.


    Designing for easy cleaning, in this case presumably by a professional cleaning service, is a good idea. It may be a struggle if your mother doesn't already have a service, but it is easier to have a regular service than to deal with a daunting amount of neglected cleaning when you get ready to sell in a few years.

    ADA consultants can be hired. Several Houzzers have extensive experience with bathrooms for elder care, too.


    Hingham Shipyard · More Info


  • PRO
    21 days ago

    A curbless shower is just a style choice, unless there is s 36” access door to the bath, a 60” turning radius, separate switched hand shower, and a couple of dozen other accessible adaptations for the whole rest of the home. A curbless shower in a home where a wheelchair cannot go down the hall or through the door to get to it is a waste of funds.


    TRULY retrofitting an inaccessible home to be accessible is a darn expensive process, well north of 100K.