Try this... pick up three (only three) different color chips from your local paint store that you are leaning towards. Invite a couple friends and family members over for dinner to discuss which one they like best. After all, they are the ones who are going to enjoy it with you. You could make a game out of it. If YOU don't like the color that is chosen after the kitchen is painted, the person who chose that color gets to repaint it in the color you would have picked.

What about a pretty taupe? Benjamin Moore makes a color called Sag Harbor Grey HC-95.
it's a color between your counters and your cabinets. It will make it less choppy looking. It will also make the room feel larger.