Perhaps Bondo gray and rasberry will be the up and coming color trends?? If not, and you hate it... I would go back to white;)

Would you consider adding under cabinet LED lighting with a Kelvin temperature of no higher than 3000 degrees? This will help a little with the darkness in the room.
Choose the lightest color in the bricks( not pink) but maybe a very pale gray or beige and see how that will look with the floor as well.

Good prep work will prevent the chipping, gloss will make it easy to clean. Red is tough to get right, it takes a few coats usually to get it even and a little darker red on cabinets is usually better. I agree, don't use the glaze. Have you considered a different color? A yellow or even a white that isn't pure white but has the yellow or red undertones? It may still give you the rustic feel but also give you a change. One last thing, often with dark rooms (like ones that face north) the contrast is what makes them look brighter (for example a black and white room). What happens if you drape a glossy black where you were planning the red? (Try a few garbage bags to give you an idea if the color might work for you.)

I think you idea is wonderful. You should look at BM Cement Gray for your cabinets (2112-60) and a really deep red for the bar would be BM Pomegranate ( AF-295)

I agree with the other person, that its all in the prep. Give the cabinets a good scrub down with TSP and rinse well, then use a high adhesion primer. and maybe have your paint store tint the primer to a medium gray which would make your top coat cover in to coats. Make sure you use a paint made specifically for cabinets/furniture, not trim paint!

I had this same issue in my home. Originally a white cabinet, peeling from the same causes. I then painted it a light grey with similar problems. I changed the grey to Coventry Grey from Benjamin Moore which is just a less blue hue and more true grey. I then put up a white subway tile and white crown moulding. That way I could keep the nice grey (easier to clean) cabinets but really make it all tie in together.

What is the wood like? Maybe you could stain it all out a rich cherry brown?