I like oak cabinets, and am very happy with the ones we put in back in the late 90s. I think they're going to come back in style in a few years as people realize that black is a very depressing color. Don't let others make you feel that your cabinets need to be changed unless it's something you really want to do. And if you do, then you should do it, but not because you feel outdated.

Get a few tile samples so you can put them against your cabinet and see what you think. A bright white would probably be too severe, but a nice cream color should be nice.

I'd start by updating the curtains, putting down some colorful area rugs and finding new bar stools. If you're still not happy with your kitchen after that, figure out why and go from there.

I'd start with updated window treatments. And, if you can remove the arch wood piece (Or even the entire cabinet above the sink) it would look updated and let more light in. Stylish bar stools. New hardware and you may be happy just the way it is. But, simple, beveled subway tile backsplash is a cream color would look very nice.

Here is a photo of bisque beveled backsplash and barstools that would be a good update.

Painting your cabinet would definitely update this space. Subway tiles are very "IN" right now but they are a classic look and would be a nice clean finish to new paint. I agree with removing the window treatments and new bar stools. Darzy also suggested removing the cabinet above the window and I agree! You could also add pendant lights over the island to add a different lighting effect. New hardware on the cabinets will also help. If you do choose to paint I would think about the subway tiles being some other color than while, like grey, or the reverse. Paint the cabinets grey and the subways could then be white. Too go all white would be quite sever with the dark counters.

HUGE improvement! Great job!