many years of marriage

17 years ago

Well,tomorrow we've been married 42 years and I know George and Leone have an anniversary on Wednesday and they have us beat. There is something very comforting about being with a spouse for a long long time. I remember the years of never knowing exactly what to expect because it was still so new and much time was spent adjusting,compromising,evening out some rough patches,and rejoicing in the pleasant surprises of marriage and all it had to offer in those early years. Now the rough patches are less so because we know how to tackle them together.I know what makes him happy and what makes him not so happy in things that arise on a day to day basis,I know what foods he loves and which ones he doesn't and when I experiment in the kitchen,I can almost guess how he will react. I like our marriage and what it has become. In the long ago past there were times I just wanted to say,"oh poop,this isn't worth all that work." Heck..it sounds as if this whole post is about gardening too,doesn't it? Maybe marriage really is like a big old garden...some you tend and keep at it until it turns out pretty well,and others you finally just plow under because you know it won't work.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (18)

shilty
17 years ago
Congratulations!

Hubby and i will be a pair 42 years this August. I agree with all you've said.

s
0
Josh
17 years ago
47 years here ...and Marda, there were times when a divorce seemed just a tad more trouble than staying and working through it...LOL

It's still a work in progress. He just got a snippy "put it on calendar" when he interrupted my zen-like communion with my plants as I circled the living room watering with mention of a dental appointment. But I had made his favorite Croque Monseur (I know that's not spelled right!) for breakfast because earlier this morn I had a silly grin on my face while discarding the Wisteria and Spirea bouquet he had gathered earlier this week. LOL And so it goes...josh
0
Related Professionals
Eureka Landscape Contractors · Fairview Landscape Contractors · Hickory Hills Landscape Contractors · North Canton Landscape Contractors · Paso Robles Landscape Contractors · Plainview Landscape Contractors · Santa Maria Landscape Contractors · Secaucus Landscape Contractors · Overland Park Decks, Patios & Outdoor Enclosures · Pittsburgh Decks, Patios & Outdoor Enclosures · Verona Decks, Patios & Outdoor Enclosures · Artesia General Contractors · Bowling Green General Contractors · Dorchester Center General Contractors · San Bruno General Contractors
Pidge
17 years ago
Congratulations, Marda. That's a wonderful milestone and, being in my 52nd year of marriage to my "starter" husband, I can pretty much agree with everything you say. There comes a time when one simply settles into a comfort zone of gratitude for not only surviving it all, but also knowing that it's been a good journey.

Josh, you are right that it's always a "work in progree." Just when I think I have it all under control, up pops an issue that needs resolution. It's just how life goes.
0
andie_rathbone
17 years ago
We've "only" been married 33 years, so congratulations on anniversary #42. And yes, after all those years you've pretty much learned to accept one another's quirks & habits. There's a lot to be said for having a comfortable arm next to yours to help you out on life's journey.
0
blueheron
17 years ago
I am in Pidge's group - 51 years. And I can say I would do it all over again. I think I got a keeper! LOL!

And when we started out, we first lived in an apartment, then graduated to a semi-detached house and finally, a single home. Now, it seems they want the McMansion right away.

I worked full time until my daughter was born. Then, when she was in school, I worked part-time at a local college where I could walk to work. It was ideal. We never had lots of money, but we have a good life. (Thank God for Medicare! LOL!)

I wish all of you long and happy marriages.
0
tibs
17 years ago
Wow, I like this site, makes me feel like a spring chicken. Will only be celebrating our 26th.
0
ell_in_or
17 years ago
I must be a pup then! We'll be married 16 years in August. I surely have a keeper. He's wonderful. It's great to know that someone's always got your back.
0
treehouse
17 years ago
Marda, you are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan
0
gmatx zone 6
17 years ago
To all the above posters, congratulations! Yes, marriage is always a work in progress and as Marda said, "Maybe marriage really is like a big old garden...some you tend and keep at it until it turns out pretty well,and others you finally just plow under because you know it won't work."

We'll celebrate 43 years in September. Seems like we finished raising each other, and now we look forward to the love, comfort and companionship as we finish up our time on earth with each other. Many in our generation have not been so lucky.

Mary
0
chipmary
17 years ago
Well done Marda...
Spouse & I are still hanging in there, though these past 2 years seem like the "poop" years lol. 42 year hmmm, you must have married when you were 12??
Mary
0
minnie_tx
17 years ago
Congrats mwoods. I've been alone that long. I think it is wonderful when couples stay together and work things out.
0
lilod
17 years ago
Congratulations, Marda - DH and I had 44 years together when he departed 16 years ago. We had our ups and downs, but it often balanced out just right, me of the "cup half full" and he of the "cup half empty".
0
mawheel
17 years ago
Please add my congratulations on your 42nd anniversary to all of those already posted. I, too, agree with everything everyone has said. My husband and I will be married 56 years next September. At this stage of our lives - mid 70s - we truly treasure each other, the good and the bad and the ups and downs. We have two granddaughters who have each been married five years and we sincerely hope and pray they will be among those who stay together for the long haul.
0
jazmynsmom
17 years ago
Congratulations to all of you! This is huge!

I doubt we'll ever make the higher milestone anniversaries... not because anything will pull us apart, but because Steve will be 96 on our 50th. Not impossible, but I can't imagine him being in any shape for a party when it happens either! But the probable lack of quantity is more than made up for by the quality. I celebrate the milestones of folks like you who manage both!
0
husky004_
17 years ago
35 years in September...as everyone has said ups and downs etc...still boils down to compromise...he drives me nuts at times as I'm sure I do him...but when the chips are down and I need a rock he is there as I hope I am for him...a wonderful husband, friend and father that's all I could ask for.
0
Janis_G
17 years ago
Marda, I missed your anniversary. :0(
I wish you many more to celebrate and above that
I wish you good health and much much love.
0
kathyjane
17 years ago
Happy Anniversary, Marda!!!
It must feel good, like a comfortable house, with long-known aromas belonging to different sections--
--yet they're all part of the whole and that helps make it a HOME.
0
firstkim
17 years ago
Heartfelt congratulations (tinged with more than a little envy) to all of you who have lasted so long in your marriages. I'm starting back at "GO" again, and given our ages and family medical histories I'll consider 25 years an achievement (assuming I've managed to get it right this time).

Marda and Mr. Marda, George and Leone, I hope you had very happy anniversary celebrations and continue to have many more.
0