Go stark!- white oxidizes anyway and fast if you cook at all! I always use the whitest B. Moore on the blue white spectrum. I too-have jewel tone colors and they totally pop b/c of the white, white. I love drama and it shows, but hey, that's what I love. The pictures, mirrors or wall hangings soften things up if you're worried. I did do a soft taupe small accent wall that faces the sunny south--it looks really nice! Please post a picture, I'd love to see your room, when I learn how, I will too.

I guess my first question is why are all your pictures hung at the ceiling? They need to be MUCH lower. The center of the collection should be about 65" from the floor. I would take the wallpaper sample to the paint store and have paint matched to the wallpaper and paint the rest of the walls that color. I can't really tell what color your drapes are if they are the same color grey as in your wallpaper they are great. Then i would get a fabulous rug with the red and grey in it and hopefully that will start pulling that room together. If you can i would get rid of the door going into the DR it makes the space feel even smaller than it is.

I just finished a house with your granite. Used BM Vale Mist of the walls. Perfect match.

It looks to me that your sectional is facing the fireplace which is the focal point of the room. That wall should be balanced. In other words whatever is on one side of the fireplace should be balanced with something on the other side that is of the same height and weight. Can the cabinet be moved to a different area in the house. Perhaps the rocking chair can be placed facing the sectional (across or diagonal from where the V in the sectional is formed) This will make for conversation. If the cabinet cannot be moved, I would recommend re-positioning it flat against the fireplace wall (not angled) and place a tree (or cabinet) of the same height on the other side of the fireplace. I hope his helps.