Yesterday, the guy across the road asked me to go pick up a new kitchen stove, at Sears, so we went. Whilst waiting outside at the loading area, i saw a new Craftsman lawn tractor in display, sitting there.

I inspected it thoroughly, and i saw a nice machine that with reasonable care, could be expected to last quite a while. And, sure to impress the neighbors with its beauty!

Ohh, YES!! If only the buyer takes reasonable care of it, and fully reads the instructions manual that i am sure won't do the buyer any good, when he pitches it into a closet, or the trash! ("Why do i have to read all of that gobbledy-gook? I know how to do everything!") And, inside of 3 years, or less, it'll look like he parks it in a swamp every night! BT/ST!

And then comes the trash talk about how bad the tractor is, in all things.

"Why should i change the oil every so many hours? Isn't it a sealed system? Well, yea, but---"

Check the air in the tires? Shucks-they look ok to me!

Clean out under the deck? Gee, i never did that on any other mower! The grass comes out like always!

Check the oil before starting: "I pulled out the dip-stick and it had too much oil on it, so i drained some out!

Somebody must be playing tricks on me, and adding oil while I'm not around!" ;o)

Grease the fittings and squirt oil on places that do not have grease fittings: "Squirting oil, and squirting grease into fittings is just a waste of money! The oil drips onto the garage floor, too, and makes a mess!" Eventually, the lack of oil and grease will make a mess of yer bank account, too!

Store the machine inside a shed or garage. But, if you store it outside, at least cover it with a tarp that is water proof: "Why do i have to baby it? Seems that i can leave my pickemup outside in all kinds of weather--why not my lawn tractor?" BECAUSE THEY AREN'T THE SAME!

On the same vein: 2 years ago, some poorly educated acquaintences, bought a new Craftsman lawn tractor! I drove past one day, in a driving rain storm, and there sat the new tractor, blithely swallowing gallons of rain water! The dip-stick was laying on the foot board, and the rain just ran into the engine, thru the louvers in the hood!

I stopped and told the man he should cover the engine area, to keep the rain out. So, it spent most of last winter sitting out in all kinds of weather, enjoyng seeing piles of snow on everything. He laid a small square of plywood over the hood louvers! ;o)

Yesterday, i went past and there sat a new Poulan lawn tractor, and the store truck was loading up the old one!

Well, being that those younger folks will be running the Country with their progressive ideas, i am certainly glad i will not be around to see the demise of the American Dream!

SHUDDER! by: Rusty Jones