LOL mmqchdygg!!!! Cheers to the thaw!

Shore

LOL mmqchdygg!!!! Cheers to the thaw!

Shore

LOL mmqchdygg!!!! Cheers to the thaw!

Shore

LOL mmqchdygg!!!! Cheers to the thaw!

Shore

Stage rat,
you know the answer to this:

Remember the golden rule.

cAROL

Stagerat,
Sometimes it's just better to leave it alone. If you feel you MUST post, bend over backwards leaving a positive message for the newbie, making him or her feel welcome and completely ignoring the comments of the offender. Avoid the temptation, however strong, to attack the offender.

Sue is a great example of a Seed Exchange vigilante - in the nicest and smartest way. Ignore the troll.

I totally agree with seedmama,you will get your point across in a subtle way and not feed the monster! There are a couple times I wish I could go back and remove something I posted,like to the guy that called us all a bunch of chickens in a thread ,of course I had to post "Cluck Cluck" at him,I wish I wouldn't have though,because I felt silly after ward!;)
You will make the right decision regardless!:)

Boy, I hope it wasn't me, and that I said something stupid???

Carrie

You got me curious. I haven't visited that forum for a while.
Which thread is that? Curiosity is killing me. :-)

me too

ok - so I guess I'm with everyone else. It's never the right choice to be rude BUT you could let us know about the thread for kicks! Nik

I think I saw that post.

Just a couple weeks ago,my neighbors was out at about 9:30pm screaming and cussing at his cute little mini pin. I heard him inside w/ all my windows and doors closed and with the tv on....loud 'cause I don't hear so well any more. I stepped outside and was about to yell"Yeah why don't you shut the %#@! up too,you dumb %$#@!!" when it dawned on me,that I would just be lowering myself to his ignorance.....so let it slide(I'm gonna dognap that sweet little mini pin one of these days...I hate people that abuse animals...and other humans).

Peggy

Stage rat, I hope it wasn't me!! Some times I post things that sounded funny when I thought them, but when I reread them later it doesn't sound as I meant it to sound!!
My excuses are:
1)I think this cold weather has made me cranky-it's
been in the single digits every morning for the past
few days now
2)posting before I've had enough coffee
3)posting when the kids are home
4)posting late at night

If it WAS me let me know so I can apologize to the person for being an EEEHAW EEEHAW!
-B
My excuse for this one is not enough coffee-going for my 2nd cup!!

I also try to avoid this trap - after falling in a few times of course. However, now I prefer to emailed the offending party with very snippy, but private messages, and consolling thoughts to the person who was run over on the boards. This way, I have fulfilled my feelings without participating in the ensuing free-for-all. I try to post with one rule: Stay on topic!

When I was new to GardenWeb, I was reading another forum where a lady was asking for ideas for plants that would shield her from her neighbors view (actually her view of her neighbors). It seems their house and yard was awful, they had cars coming and going all night (short visits) and they were known to do drugs. She had a fence but wanted one that was taller and that she could plant on with a fast growing vine or something.

I posted that probably the best fence for her neighbors to have was one of those 8-10 feet tall chain link ones with rolled barbed-wire on the top of it.

GardenWeb removed my message and set me a nasty letter telling me I would be suspended if I did that again. So, if you don't hear from me again..............

Anyway....the moral to the story is....if you post a nasty return, you may be the one to get cut......go figure.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
-- Maya Angelou

Ooh, seedmama, that's a good quote. I totally know what she means.

I got so mad because this was someone's very first post, and the lurkers were being coaxed to post. She didn't follow the link to where they wanted people to post, instead posting right in the first thread. And she posted in all capitals, so someone pretty bluntly told her she shouldn't have done either of those things.

You know, when you encourage people to do something, you kind of have to accept that the new folks aren't necessarily going to do it right. So what if it makes the thread sink in the lineup? Just bump it up.

Other people in that forum have been doing as some of you suggested--posting friendly responses, and even mentioning mistakes they too made in their first posts. But I know that if that had been my first post, and then I'd read that first response, I probably would never read that thread again, assuming that any additional responses were other people telling me how I'd screwed up. I'd probably not visit that forum again, either!

So maybe I'll send a friendly email directly to the person--I hope she has email set up. And I'll tell her to come over here, where people seem to always deal with stuff much more kindly!

This isn't on the Seed Exchange at all, I just wanted to be clear that this was not about chemocurl, who does often respond to people's first posts to help them straighten out their email.

To those who mentioned that they wonder if it was them, I've never seen anything written by you that seemed objectionable! I know what Brandy means about there being circumstances that can lead to posting when one shouldn't. I try really hard not to get caught, though! Since we absolutely can't go back and edit our posts here, I tend to not post, instead of posting before I've thought things over. It's the internet, it can wait overnight!

One thing to remember is that if I'm out of patience, and yet another person asks something that's really, really easy to find- anywhere--for instance, on the Tomato forum, asking what Determinate means--there's no reason to jump in and chide the person for failing to read the FAQ or google it, just ignore that post, and someone with patience will come along and answer kindly. (Hopefully)

Thanks for helping my work this out! I guess I don't feel a strong desire to yell at that person anymore, but I really needed to talk about it a little!

Silence is golden. :0)
cAROL

Amen Carol!
I do like the one about the fence though,Sooner :-)
I thought that WAS funny!!LOL!!
-B

I don't see anything wrong with expressing your views in a calm rational tone without insults or criticism, so that you aren't stooping to the other poster's level. The newbie and others lurking would no doubt appreciate that.

I've gotten involved in some controversial threads here on GW, including one on the Trees forum a few months ago that was promptly pulled in 2 days (the TREES forum, can you imagine?). In general, I try to avoid emotional reactions to anything said in a thread including attacks on myself and continue to post in the most well-reasoned way possible.

There are many other websites with forums that are much more volatile than GW. It is a pleasure to read here where there are few conflicts and the subject matter is so pleasant. Honestly, I have enough headaches in real life, and enough bickering with a teenage son, who needs more stress when they come to Gardening forum??

Oh, yeah, that comment about the fence was funny--I don't understand how it could have led to the warning you got!

Terrene:

Our posts crossed, I didn't mean to ignore yours. I totally agree that GW is a lot less volatile than many other forums, and that's one reason I like it here! I'm so curious about what, in the Tree Forum, would have gotten it pulled.

It was about invasive trees, in particular Tree of Heaven (Ailanthus altimissima) and that certain posters wanted to plant it, while others objected. People got hot under the collar and there was some name -calling, while there were also some thoughtful posts. Wish that GW could just yank the offending posts.

I think the fence comment was funny too, obviously a joke...?

I think I may know which thread Soonergrandmom may be referring to. If if is the one I'm thinking of, the original poster got lots of helpful suggestions, but chose not to act on any of them, but continued to complain about their situation.

I'm probably straying WAY OT, but it annoys me when someone asks for help, and then rejects every reasonable suggestion given to them. It's like they don't really want to solve the problem, they are just looking for sympathy/pity.

Bonnie

There is a tiff going on over on the hosta forum also,
last year there was a poster that did get removed,several times,he just kept coming back under a new name,but every one knew who he was.
Some people just have to be right,or think they are right,about every thing,the way i see it,no one knows every thing,about one thing,there is always something to learn,if nothing else,the art of keeping your mouth shut,eh?
cAROL

Welcome to mid-winter on the GW forums. Believe it or not, this is an annual event.

Please pass the popcorn.

Ok, what I think ya'll need right now is a great big ... now c'mon over here everybody... spring'll be here before ya know it!

stop touching me.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That's what my mom always said when I was growing up. The world would be a nicer place if more people followed that adage.

stage_rat, I think you came up with the perfect solution.

seedmama, I love that quote and it is so true.

I left GW when I was a newbie for a few years because someone on the hosta forum displayed that know-it-all attitude when I posted about voles. I was drawn back by a thread at another garden forum about winter sowing. I couldn't believe how nice everyone was and I couldn't be happier than I am with this new way of growing things.

Pat

hi stage rat.
i am the newbie, that screwed up. but it's ok. i am not easily offended. sooooooo, i will continue to post, and hopefully, i won't offend anyone else. i really do appreciate the comments. you guys are very supportive, you are the best. by the way, i have ws some plastic one gallon water jugs with: calendula, sweet williams, forget me nots,and a perennial mix. i am a newbie at ws also. i hope the seeds are viable, & do well for me. keep your fingers crossed.
kim

Welcome Kim! I'm glad to hear that you will continue posting on the other forum. I think you will be surprised at the wonderful results you'll get with winter sowing. You're going to love it! Congrats on taking the plunge. I hope you will continue to post here too.

Pat

fingers & toes! Hi Kim! So glad you didn't miss visiting hours at the institution us!

If you need any help with anything, just holler; we're friendly...we like twinkies...
...there's a reason they call this the nut-house...just don't make eye contact and you'll be fine.

Kim,

You didn't screw-up at all. Somebody else did but I see that you are a bigger person and that is so good. :O)

Love the name!! It's cute.

Hope to see you here often.

Kim, I just wanted to say welcome...I have NO IDEA what happened but kind of understand from what stage_rat posted. We were all new once and did one thing or another to have someone yell at us, heck I just got roughed up via email about my about me page so, even after you are here for a while you will STILL run into one every now and again. Just over look the rudeness and play with the nice crowd :)

soonergrandmom the fence thing WAS funny, I don't care who you are ;)

:) Fran

ya know, I dont mind the all caps posting, especially when everybody is asleep and I got the speakers turned off.

hee!

Yay! Hi, Kim! I'm so glad you're tougher than I am, I just saw that you posted there again. I'm..."sensitive" (use a snively voice when you say that!) and I would not have gone back. I like what you wrote, too! A dignified but pointed response!

mmcq, you, with your "stop touching me," almost made me spit my dark chocolate onto the computer, and that would have been very, very bad!

At first I thought you meant the post about the ice storm on another forum. Everyone was sympathetic but one who said the post was off topic. The title was ice storm so if you knew it was off topic. I thought about a nasty e-mail but I realized no one else paid any attention to the (watch what you say helen).

Welcome Kim! :)

Nosy me. I searched for your post. I think your reply was great. You stood up for yourself very well I thought.

mmqc ~ you had me cracking up at all your comments.. especially the twinkies and avoiding eyecontact. ROFL ty.. I really needed a laugh this morning.. :D

~Wendy

OMG,I too,laughed out loud at the "Stop touching me",and the we like twinkies,make no eye contact.
I am with you sassy, i needed a good laugh,and i got one.

Welcome Kim,you will find this to be a funny,and friendly group,i have visited a few other forums,and,well, none are as nice as these folks over here.
Sorry you had a run in with some one,i had some one be nasty to me one time on the tree forum,only to find out this person is a respected person on the hosta forum,but know for his sarcasium,it still made me feel really bad,leaves you with a sick feeling deep with in,i am glad you are a tough cookie,but you won't need to be over here.
cAROL

Hey, WHO ATE ALL THE TWINKIES!! (rattling empty box)
-B

Carol,you give me the name of the person that dared to be mean to you!...lol...What is it with the Tree forum? I think I will stay away from there!...lol...

Twinkies dipped in chocolate,what did they call them..... Ding Dongs? Those were soooooo good! Whatever happened to them?

Brandy I have some Chocolate Zingers if you want one!...lol...

Oh Angie,
You are a guardian angel to all of us,it's just that every one does not know it-yet. :0)
cAROL

I thought the chain link fence with barbed wire sounded like a good idea. hmmm.

Carol,I look at you guys a group of friends and all of us as a "village" of sorts,when I joined GW,I had no clue how much it would come to mean to me. I have been to other forums,outside of the gardening domain, and found that people could be really ugly and I was becoming the same,fighting back with them,so I backed away from forums and decided it wasn't for me. Than one day I looked up "Seed Swaps" at Grammas suggestion,she told me how people used to do it through the mail all the time in the "olden days"(chuckle),and I came across Gardenweb,not realizing I had found ivillage's gardening group long before and was already a member!..lol.. So I lurked around for awhile and became familiar with many of you,especially Sue ;),and decided this is the group of people that I belong with....whether you want me or not!...lol...A guardian angel, I am not sure if I am close to that,but I thank you for thinking so much of me,I think the same of you! You have touched me beyond belief with the special gift you sent me, and it will always be treasured along with you!:)

O Gosh,I remember posting once last yr. or the yr. before about something and immediately wished I had put the duct tape on my big mouth instead of my containers.I was so glad when that post slid on down the page.lesson learned,lol
moonphase