I stayed home with my kids until they were grown (college age) and then went to work full time. I was totally exhausted from the complete change of lifestyle. I would literally come home and go to bed. After years of hanging around in comfy clothes I was suddenly wearing a suit and heels. My feet were killing me! It's a huge adjustment.

It's hard to get used to so many new people and the way they do things. Just learning to use the new phone system is a challenge, not to mention finding the office supplies and the ladies room.

Can you have someone come and clean the house? You need to get all that household stuff off your plate as much as possible. The hubs needs to be responsible for dinner at least one night a week, one night can be take out and another couple nights can be leftovers. Always prepare enough for two meals.

I think Julie's advice about not bringing up the subject of your age is excellent. And, yes, keep up with what's going on in the world, dress up to date and do not constantly talk about your family.

Once I finally adjusted to the world of work, I just loved being out there. I even got to love wearing business clothes.

Every work environment has whiners. Don't get sucked in with them. Stay positive even when you feel lie murdering someone.

Yes -- it will be good. As I said, I loved being part of the larger world. Now that I am retired I really miss a lot of it. I didn't like my last position and wish now that I had gotten out of it. If I had had a job I liked better, I think I would still be working.

You can do it, I promise!

I am having trouble believing you will be more stressed, more distracted, more anything after what you have lived the last few years! Two-three part time jobs/school PLUS small kids!! A "regular" schedule the same every day should feel like a piece of cake after what you have been juggling!! I did this 10 years ago now. I was a professional, left to raise three kids and then returned to work. I chose to not go back to my "professional" job. I went with a job that has the exact time line my kids have. It was a huge cut in pay, my DH says I work for charity....BUT I continue to be here when they are and I can boost the college funds. Teens need as much supervision as young ones. Do the research most of the sex/drugs/mischief they get into they do in the stretch between schools out and dinner. So my first suggestion is to make sure they are supervised and or involved in activities in your absence. I ditto what Juliekcmo said about letting go or SHARING many of the "housewife" duties. Be warned in my case anyway this had as much effect on my extended family as it did on my nuclear family. It cut me off from them BIG TIME and they are the ones who refused to adjust. With all that going on in your life up to now I have to assume your kids/DH pitch in and already do their fare share of the housework. This is good for them!! Their future dorm mates will thank you!! Dinner time is sacred in my house always has been. That did not change because I went to work. Bottom line decide what is vital to your family and make sure you don't let those things go by the way side.

Arcy makes a good point. My mother had a hard time with my lack of availability once I was working full time. She was used to having me come over to use her pool frequently and also to just visit, and suddenly I was even too busy on the weekends. Lucky for me, she is very self-sufficient and kept her self entertained in other ways. However, she stopped opening the pool after a few years because she said no one ever used it.

Thank you all. To be clear, I had the part-time jobs for all the years before I was in school--once I was in school full-time, I did not have a job, but my program included 20 hr. per week internships so it was kind of like I did...

arcy, I could not agree more that teens need parents around as much (or more) than little ones. My DH will be doing school pickups and be home with them four days per week and on day five the kids will be in after school programs. My job does not allow flexibility in scheduling for the first two years, but after that things will be much more flexible and I will definitely be aiming for afternoons at home.

Julie and dedtired: thank you both for the reminder about not emphasizing the age difference between myself and my 20- and 30 something colleagues. The situation was the same at my internships and it really made me nuts how they pigeonholed me as Betty Crocker because I had been a SAHM, when really I am not that way at all. I hope the water cooler talk is about TV shows because that is definitely how I have spent my time celebrating being done with school!

I should be thrilled, I know, but I find myself dreading it.

I so relate to that statement! In the late 80s/early 90s I left a job that was not a good fit for me and became a full-time "domestic engineer." My DH at the time had a very good job and we could get by with only one income, so I spent four years at home indulging in the things that I really wanted to do - decorating, gardening, cooking, spending time with family and friends. I got into a real groove and couldn't imagine life any other way. Then, my husband's job situation changed and I was forced to go back to an office job. I will never forget shopping for work clothes - trying them on in a dressing room with tears running down my face. I so didn't want to change the routine I'd become accustomed to, and was filled with a sense of dread - as though life as I'd come to know it was coming to an end. I realized that my dynamic was changing vastly, and pretty abruptly.

That was more than 19 years ago, and now I can't imagine my life any other way that it is now, or than it's been over the past 19 years! I truly think that the Universe has a way of putting us exactly where are supposed to be at any given time, and now that I can accept and embrace that fact, it's a bit easier to consider changes that may arise in my future. My advice is to go easy on yourself, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, but remind yourself that this is a positive step and you're embarking on a new adventure that is going to enhance your life experience.

Best wishes to you, and congratulations on your new job!

The extended family thing is so true. And it's hard to not take it personally.

My MIL and SIL will ask at a family Sunday get-together at the end of it when they are saying goodbyes. "So, do you have to go to work tomorrow? " It makes me crazy! They would never ask DH that.

Finally last time I said, Yes, I go to work every day. Where else would I be going?

Just another thought in addition to all of the excellent ones above. I returned to work after being home for about 15 years. I started at 7:30 and was able to pick up the kids from school every afternoon. I still shuttled them to all of their activities, supervised homework, etc., etc. BUT they had a huge adjustment to my work return. Although the impact on their lifestyle was minimal (daycare at school for 30 minutes three times a week!), they were angry and a little overwhelmed. In retrospect, I think they felt that they were no longer my sole focus and that I could run away or something! Just be prepared.

I went back to work full time in 2010, at age 53! It was one of those weird situations... DH's group decided to separate into two different practices, and DHs partner wanted to retire and work for DH part time. It was a cataclysmic change in everything, and he said I cannot do this without your help. Luckily our youngest child was a senior in high school....I told that kid that after January 1 2010 he would have to consider himself an orphan, lol. I reorganized the entire business, learning as I went along, it was SCARY and several times I asked DH if he wanted to hire someone else, but he said he had to have someone there he could count on 100%. For one year I worked seven days a week, and stayed until 9 or 10 pm. Several nights a week I was there past 1 am...the local police would escort me to my car when I left. There were times when I wanted to run away. We had a lot of personal money at stake, and i spent about six months imagining myself as the author of financial disaster.

I survived, we survived, I love the employees and they seem to love me ( I am the first person in history to give us all time off once a month to go to our hairdressers). The business is more profitable than it has ever been, largely because of the new management, so DH says, and we have spent more time together in the past two years than in the previous 29 years of marriage, and that is not an exaggeration.

I missed the time at home, and was fortunate to be able to delegate a lot more responsibility to our housekeeper. I also am able to work at least one day a week now from home and our office is about five minutes from home, which was a godsend during our big exterior renovation this past year and a half.

Juliekmo has given you the best advice--- put the family before the house. But I would add one thing--- every night, take 15 or 20 minutes with your kids to get them ready for the next day. Papers to sign? Permission slips needed? Food coloring needed for art class? That kind of thing is best sorted out in the evening rather than in the mad morning rush. I found that true as a sahm, and surely it would be even that much more important to a working mom! Good luck!

Leafy - I don't have kids, but like you, went to grad school later in life, just graduated, and am about to start my first post-grad job. I'm nervous even without the family issues - although I'm looking forward to returning to a more "normal" schedule, part of me already misses life as a student (even when I was working and going to school) and regular interaction with my classmates. With all the great advice above, I'm sure you'll transition just fine!

Congratulations!

Leafy, I have no advice or experience to offer you...I can only offer my congratulations and sincere admiration! You have certainly earned your stripes as a multi-tasker extraordinaire! I am very impressed by your tenacity, hard work and commitment.

I've enjoyed reading the responses to you. Aren't there such interesting and insightful women here at GW who have a truly amazing array of experiences?

I hope you enjoy your new career immensely! You've earned it!

I have also enjoyed reading all the great advise here. Congratulations and best of luck with your new job! You deserve it.

Lurker emerging. :)

Love every word of JulieKCMO's advice. I returned to work full time a year ago after being home 16 years. Two things surprised me most - first, how much I LOVE my job and how much it has enhanced my life. I hope the same is true for you. Second, how completely and utterly exhausted I was for a good 6 months. I gave myself permission to go to bed when I needed to - and that often meant 8 or 9 p.m. For a night owl, this was a huge shift. I really think getting enough sleep was the key to this being such a great transition, though. You may not need that, but I would encourage you to listen to your body. The first two months I was sound asleep on the sofa at 6:30 p.m. :)

Thanks Sarah.

I am very fortunate to be in a job I love at an employee owned company that champions learning and risk-taking. I am never leaving.

Previous company....not so much. they basically were bullies. Once you have worked for a bully and figured out what they are doing, you will never settle for that type of environment if you can help it.

I consider myself very lucky to have the job I have at the company where I work.

And OMG, it is OK to be tired and go to bed at 9:30

In addition to getting used to the new situation at home, I found it really difficult to get used to the work place politics again. Luckily, I work with a group of amazing women, but even so, I often felt like I was traversing a foreign land. When to speak up, when to keep quiet, how to be helpful without stepping on toes, etc.

I think it's been mentioned above, but getting in housekeeping help would be huge. I don't know any working moms that don't have help (except for me, and I'm working on my phobia of having someone else clean my house). It seems like we often spend time we could be relaxing as a family, frantically trying to get the house clean (or at least liveable).

Good luck in your new role. Even though I find it difficult at times, I often think that even if I won the lottery, I would be one of those pathetic people who would still go to work. And initially I did not go back to work willingly. Enjoy your new life!

Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I will definitely take everyone up on the going to bed early idea--I am looking forward to it.

Today I was panicking about what I will take to eat at work and how I will have time to knit, garden, etc. when I am at work all day. I may just have to keep flowering plants in my office and my knitting stashed under my desk. I don't know if my office will have a window, but I know it will have a door that closes!

I have read this topic with a lot of interest. Have never been in the situation; I have held a job since I was 16 YO. When my kids were born/growing up I was extremely fortunate to be able to have a flexible work situation that literally expanded in hours and responsibility as my kids grew and got more independent. However I never have been fully SAH and then transitioned to working FT, as this discussion touches on. I'm now working not only FT but very often into the early evening and on frequent weekends, due to meetings and programs.

Which is to explain why this has been SUCH a great reminder for me that I shouldn't feel guilty about something that has bothered me for a long time: not doing X and Y and Z at home in my 'spare' time. When I come home, I am *done*. I can handle getting dinner together, then husband and I watch the evening news and then...I think every single night that I could/should be: ironing/tidying/organizing/working on a project. Instead I have just enough energy to maybe watch one tv show, take a shower and relax gratefully in bed where I read myself to sleep.

I so appreciate the comments about how many people have found themselves exhausted after going to work! I know this sounds silly, but it makes me feel better and less as if the problem is my own laziness :).

Oh, and for those advocating household help--do it. I have VERY sporadically had cleaning assistance but for various reasons mostly have been my own housekeeper. A few months I lucked into a jewel of a house cleaner and it literally has changed my life. To know that the house is cleaned thoroughly every 2 weeks, so I do not have to give up my entire Saturday ever single week (and still don't get it as clean as she does) has lightened my load incredibly.

So once again thanks to this forum for enlightening me on yet another topic. And for making me feel ok about being a tired working woman!

What is it Suze Ordman always says at the end of her show? Family first, home second, and money last? I'm just not sure about the middle one! Anyway, family first, for sure. ;o)

Patty, Suze Orman says "people first, then money, then things." I like her ordering of priorities too!

The priorities are good, but being very tired and prioritizing people don't seem to go easily hand in hand. When I was in school I was the tiredest crabbiest person in the stands at DS's basketball games, I fear. I literally could not imagine where the rest of the folks got their energy--wondered if they all had a prescription for something I didn't!

Day after tomorrow I have to go to the new workplace for a meeting and I am hoping they let me get a look at my new office so I can picture where I will be spending my days for the next few years. . . and thinking about the decor.

No advice to give, just wanted to say congrats on your degree and best of luck in your new job!

Today my coworkers surprised me with an early birthday breakfast, complete with all sorts of goodies, a beautifully decorated cake, thoughtful gifts, and an office decorated in festive streamers. They all even sang to me when I walked through the doors this morning! This really brought home the point of how many good friends I've made since I've been working. That will undoubtedly be a result of your return to work as well. You can look forward to meeting new people and making new friends - some of whom may become lifelong buddies. I feel so fortunate to work with such wonderful people who, through the years, have added so many positive things to my life.

WIP, thanks!

Sunny, I hope so. I usually do make friends at work, and I hope this job will be the same.

You have every right to be very very proud of yourself, Leafy . . . what an awesome thing you've done!! Thanks also for the timely thread. After 18 years as basically a full-time SAHM, I'm going back to work, too! With DD off to college out-of-state next week, I've decided it was time for me to make a change, as well. Although I plan, for now anyway, to go back part-time, like you and many others here, I was worrying about fitting in, how best to interact with my fellow coworkers without coming across as a mother hen, a Betty Crocker or a dimwit (LOL). All of this advice for you has, thankfully, helped me tremendously, as well. Wishing you a good transition back to the world of a full-time new career!
Lynn

Lynn, I wish us both lots of luck. Change is a challenge but I am sure we can flex and grow as needed.

I got to see my new office today. It is starting to seem real!

Lynn, congratulations! I'm excited for you too! May I ask what sort of work you'll be doing?

You too, Leafy? I am curious about your work!

Keep us posted, ladies!

I will be working with emotionally and behaviorally disturbed children at a community mental health center.

Thanks for your reply. That's very admirable, Leafy! Sounds like a demanding, but very rewarding profession. I'm even more impressed, now that I know what you are pursuing! I think you'll be happy in your new role. Obviously, you were motivated to learn and become credentialed to do this kind of work because your heart was in it. Best wishes!

"Today I was panicking about what I will take to eat at work and how I will have time to knit, garden, etc. when I am at work all day. I may just have to keep flowering plants in my office and my knitting stashed under my desk. I don't know if my office will have a window, but I know it will have a door that closes!"

When you prepare dinner, prepare enough to have leftovers. As you clean up after dinner, pack the leftovers into the containers you'll grab in the next day or so for lunch. Doing that makes lunch prep a breeze in our house.

you won't have time for gardening, knitting etc. You'll have to figure out a way to prioritize to make room for the extras. Saturdays and Sundays willl become newly structured as well...errand running and the hobbies become relegated to those days. Knitting while at work....uh, I'd suggest you drop that idea. I have yet to run into an employer who would tolerate that - you weren't hired for your knitting skills, were you?

It's going to be trial and error. You'll evolve into patterns that work...and it will take time.