Oh, YES...this process of selling has aged me by a few decades. AND, I've gained the 12lbs back that I lost for almost a year. Too bad I didn't get the benefit of more weightloss during my journey. I still had 30lbs to go and now I'm back to 45!!

We're now in the shortsale process and am perfectly at peace to go into foreclosure if we can't sell. My husband was laid off from his job and we just can't manage this house anymore. Nevermind that this house with all the repairs would top out at about $190K of investment on our end (purchased for $145K). Even with all those repairs done we could only hope to get about $130K at best. It's beyond frustrating, but to finally have peace about it is wonderful. Even the hit to our credit is nothing compared to stress of trying to sell this house under normal circumstances.

Now, dealing with the stress of the bank calling constantly and asking the same questions over and over again is another story. I'll be 120 years old by the time I'm done with them.

I definitely believe it! Along with aging, I also lost about 15 lbs. I was starting to feel sane again, gaining back some weight until........the remodel began. Don't get me started. I don't think I will ever be the same.

I'm sitting here in my new kitchen that smells like cookies and ham. There is a fire in my fireplace, the Christmas tree is twinkling, my sweet 24 yr old son is snoring on my couch with a bow on his head that he forgot was there. It's SNOWING-big, fat, yankee-style snowflakes with 4 inches of snow on the ground. In west Texas!

This should be the best Christmas in many years. But my Dad is missing-can't get here from 45 miles away and wouldn't let anyone go get him. He should already be living in his cozy little house in my back yard. But the GC and the subs doing the reno out there have piddled and played and made excuses since August.

The only thing worse than buying and selling is reno/remodel. Merry Christmas, y'all!

Unless you do it over and over as a business.

Honestly, I don't think I could do it as a business, Brickeye. I'm glad that when I go to work I intubate unconscious people and suction babies to keep me from thinking about the remodel.

Buying and selling as a business is less stressful than buying and selling your personal residence a few times in you life.

When it is a business decision, emotions are out of it, it is just numbers, does it work or not, a personal home is emotional, therein lies the stress.

Selling our last house aged me considerably, and having to do it long distance didn't help much!

We're contemplating a major reno & just tonight I ran the numbers to analyze the trade-off of moving vs. renovating (again). I also compared the cost of "buying a pricier home instead of buying this one and paying cash for the renovations".

Buying & selling a home is the most painful thing I've ever done, and as we're in our 4th house, I am crossing my fingers that I never have to do it again!

"Unless you do it over and over as a business."

That's because you don't become emotionally attached to the homes. And you aren't dependent on them for a place to live.

I enjoy shopping and buying the houses, but selling is more stressful because it's a game of hurry up and wait.

Getting chased by a lion is stressful. Selling a home is just annoying. It doesn't take any years off your life etc. no matter what some pseudo "science" study says. The number of times you move has zero impact on your life expectancy. If it did, you could be sure that every insurance company would ask about it. :)

billl -- I'm glad you have had only 'annoying' moves.

It was a little stressful and an 'annoyance' for us to sell our former home. However, building our current home was indeed 'years off my life stress'. (As was reflected in the loss of a fifth of my body weight, down to 108 lbs.)

We had to negotiate with the seller of our property for two years. The seller lied about a hidden sinking addition, and it's certain that the 'home inspector' took a bribe not to disclose it. (Refunding $300 didn't help address a $10K foundation repair.)

We decided to tear down. Our first architect dawdled for months and then bailed after taking $5K. We finally got plans and a contractor, then had to appear multiple times before a building review board that met monthly (or less), making piddling changes like lowering the roof one foot, but still required paying for new plans. We had to hire a lawyer. Finally the city granted teardown and construction permits.

The day after the teardown, a busybody neighbor with clout in the city complained. The city issued a Stop Work order, during which time the open-to-the-elements basement flooded, resulting in mold and $17K in mold remediation later on. We had to return to the building review board for a publicly televised tongue-lashing -- for proceding with the teardown and construction permits? The city acted illegally, but we would have had to wait more years for a court to so rule; we stifled our anger!. A normal nine-month build stretched over YEARS. (I'm not even going into the build's 'surprises', like the underground streambed...)

In the survey one-third of respondents did not say they felt stressed. You probably would have been in that cohort. *I* am in the years-off-my-life cohort!

"In the survey one-third of respondents did not say they felt stressed. You probably would have been in that cohort. *I* am in the years-off-my-life cohort!"

My point was that self reported "studies" are pretty much useless. Stress is obviously not good for you, but there certainly is no direct correlation between moving and dying earlier. There just isn't. It isn't like you were naturally going to live to 110 years old but died at 50 because you were a military brat and moved every 6 months. You aren't going to be on your deathbed saying "If only I had moved less, I'd have a few more years to live. "

I'm sorry you have a rough build, but you should take some comfort in the fact that it is not literally going to drive you to an early grave. The only way the move would kill you is if you were crushed by moving boxes. Otherwise, you'll be annoyed for a while and then you'll move on with your life.

I do understand Billl's point. I have even been known to remind my Dad, "These are the problems of fortunate, blessed people, Dad. A real problem is not having your health or a home, much less being able to remodel and renovate a home".

But truly, even though I realize there MUST be some good and decent folks in the trades associated with the real estate and remodel/construction fields, I did not find them. I do think I did my homework/due diligence. I did expect problems, for the project to go 20%- 30% over estimate, and added six weeks to the projected completion date.

I work in a stressful field. I'm used to being the only person available to establish airways, puncture arteries and make decisions that involve peoples' lives under pressure. Heck, I thrive under pressure and get lazy without it.

I make a point of drilling into the people that work under me how much trust hospital patients and their families place in healthcare workers and how crucial it is to remember that even though it's all in a days work for us; it is a horribly scary time for our patients and their loved ones.

I don't think I'm a delicate drama monger. I took care of a mother with cancer, lost a brother AND sister and ended an 18 year marriage without missing a bite of food during the 5 years prior to the move.

For me to lose 15 lbs over a real estate transaction and the remodel of a bathroom in a guesthouse suggests it could have gone a little more smoothly if the professionals would have behaved more professionally. Just sayin :)

Long before I saw this article, I always felt like all my trials and tribulations relating to my house sale had robbed years from my life. Now that it's finally over with, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest! It is a fact that stress can shorten your life span.

I'm sorry, I think this all just silly. The words "First-World problems" come to mind.

Yes, it can be stressful buying and selling your primary residence, but if it's taking years off of your life (or causing you to lose your body mass), perhaps it's time to start some yoga classes or a lorazepam regimen....

So...some here don't think that uncertainty involving what for most is the biggest financial investment of their lives could be *stressful*? Yeah, whatever, nevermind.

badgergrrl -- I never bought that 'starving children in Wherever' line, even as a child.

Years?.....how about decades?!?!?!

I don't understand what's being silly about when fellow posters sharing their real life experience of selling and buying.

I actually have huge amount of empathy and admiration toward LoveInTheHouse and chisue and cas and phoggie and many others. The effort they invested was commendable, the stress they suffered through was incredible; the disturbance caused to their lives was painful and miserable. The people who are not only Not showing any sympathy, instead of making sarcastic remarks are beyond comprehension.

"So...some here don't think that uncertainty involving what for most is the biggest financial investment of their lives could be *stressful*? Yeah, whatever, nevermind. "

Of course it is *stressful*. That doesn't mean it literally took years off your life. It is kinda like a tween girl saying she is going to die if she doesn't get to text her friends right now. She may *feel* like it, but she isn't going to literally die. Acknowledging the reality doesn't mean you are dismissing the emotion.

As a country, we need a science primer. If you want to determine if selling a house causes premature death, then you need to document large numbers of people selling their houses and follow them until death. This "study" just asked recent sellers how much time they think the stress shortened their lives by. You obviously can't determine anything with those type of methods. All you do is confirm a bias for people who already thought that way.

I bought and sold several times but only had 1 very stressful situation. It has been many years since then, but the stress was awful for a few days.

Hopefully my story will avoid stress for someone else.

WHEN SELLING, DO NOT SCHEDULE TO CANCEL HOMEOWNERS INSURANCE UNTIL AFTER CLOSING HAS TAKEN PLACE.

I moved out of state and the closing of the sale was delayed due to lender being slow. The new closing date was unknown..as we were waiting for some paperwork from the lender to be processed.

On the day before closing (when we got the news of the delay), I contacted the insurance agent to specify closing was delayed, and we need to continue the insurance policy. Agent said it was already scheduled to be cancelled...to bring a new check into the office and they will reinstate. I go there immediately and mention we are moving that day. Agent takes my check and we then move to a different state.(dumb me!)

The next day(when we are in NEW STATE), agent calls me and says "we don't cover vacant homes, you have NO coverage. we did not reinstate your policy. if you need coverage, go to XYX agency." I contacted XYZ and they were outrageous and required minimum number of months of coverage. It was into the thousands of dollars. Plus we were in another state and could not get a live check to them immediately to start coverage and that is what they needed.

Took a day or two but ended up getting coverage via phone and credit card via a different place.

Closing occured approx 2 weeks later.

I later read that "vacant" only applies to your normal policy after you are gone for 30 days. That original agent should have reinstated our policy. He was pretty young and I am assuming that he didnt know enough and was being too stringent on the rules.

This was sooo stressful because the home was located in an area that had a lot of homes that were hit by lightening and they burned down. The ones that were hit were usually located high on a hilltop - and our was like that. The home across the street were hit by lightening, and 2 -3 homes within a half a mile. I was so stressed for the 2 days we were without insurance.

Funny thing, I never even cared about it while we lived there. Knew we could make it out safely and insurance would cover the home. We had significant equity. Glad that is over. I still feel the stress when thinking about it.

It seems some need to read the book, "Stress...Is it worth dying for?"...as my cardiologist said, "Stress can kill you!"...so who are we to argue against him...he paid big bucks for his knowledge and experience.

The individuals described their symptoms (like my extreme weight loss). The psychologists doing the interviews deemed some of this stress great enough to 'take years off your life'.

I agree it was not a large enough sample to be 'scientific'. There are no scientific measures for how much stress of what sort equals premature aging.

I felt furious, exhausted and 'aged' by the stress. It doesn't mean I'll live fewer years.

Anybody want to hear how my DH's hair turned white the year our DS was 17?

IMO, stress does not shorten one's life. How one handles stress certainly can.

"My point was that self reported "studies" are pretty much useless. Stress is obviously not good for you, but there certainly is no direct correlation between moving and dying earlier."

Well its good to hear that at least one poster doesn't have any stress with the buying/selling process (and thinks others are making too big a deal about it).

I agree with article. Home purchase is one of the toughest transactions (if a problem surfaces) including appraisal, lender, seller, inspection, closing, etc. etc. As many first time or second time buyers don't have the experience or require a lawyer to represent it can be a very depleting experience. I can't even imagine selling a home in the market to figure out a good bid vs. bad bid or no bid.

Every thing & situation simply "is." What we make of it, feel about it, do with it, how we interpret it, explain it, look at it, varies widely from person to person. One person's down fall is another's turning point.

Sure, buying or selling could stress someone out to the point of causing ill health & other negative consequences. It "could," but it doesn't have to.

We are not always in control of what happens to us, but we are always in control (or can be!) of how we view our circumstances. How we view our situations & think about them, impacts significantly on how we feel about them. Positive thoughts create peaceful, calming feelings while negative, downer thoughts will stress anyone out.

Also, whenever we do something out of a fear of something rather than out of a love of something, it will be inappropriate in some way to our lives, & stress may be a result.

Stinky, IMO, has it right, and as I said a while back, it is not the stress that kills, but how one handles the stress.
I mean, if the "study" says that selling a house can take years off ones life, then being President of the US would mean that you would keel over the day after the term was over. But we all know that is not the way it works. These people just have a higher tolerance for stress than others.

Stinky, love your post and perspective. I generally handle stress well, but it's my diet. My stress usually comes from being too busy, usually a t work, but it can arise from other thing that demands a lot of time, thought and energy. Ironically, I enjoy those times because my mind jumps into overdrive and total concentration is invigorating. During those times, I tend to forget to eat. Usually, I lose the five pounds that I wanted to loose anyway so not only do i enjoy the stress, i benefit from it.

I've never experienced stress buying and selling homes, but limited experience - we've only bought 3 homes and two condos and only sold one home and the condos. All were pleasant problems because there was no compelling reason to have to buy or sell on terms other than our own. Under different circumstances we may have felt more stress.

NCguy, thanks. Not only do some have a "higher tolerance" for stress, but some people simply don't view situations AS stressful. Some may use words like "challenging, demanding" or "difficult" to describe situations instead, as they simply do not SEE them as "stressful, miserable or awful." Expectation management is huge here.

The US president EXPECTS a plethora of challenges & issues to face him daily, so he doesn't even define these circumstances as "stressful." They are just the ebb & flow of a day in the life of a president; what he signed up for!

Mojo, thanks. You sound like you're not necessarily stressed, so much as you are "revitalized" by challenges! You seem to learn, grow & thrive from these situations rather than feel defeated or depleted by them. Good for you!

Btw, in my view, three houses & two condos is a lot of real estate!

Adding to the stress of selling a home, plus the death of my DH while it is on the market, then finding another home in a different location, seems horribly stressful to me~~ Maybe I don't handle stress well, but it makes me want to sell even more and move "back home" where there are honest, friendly, trustworthy people, especially now that I have to face all of this alone.

Phoggie, your situation is understandably painful & difficult.

It makes perfect sense that you want to be around loved ones & to live near family, especially now. Is there anyone where you currently are that you feel close to, comfortable with? You can always post here, but there are limits to what people here can do for you, of course.

I'll be Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers, Phoggie! I sincerely hope you are able to move on to a better place, ASAP.

I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband, & I offer you my heartfelt wish that peace & comfort accompany you on the journey ahead. Sending you hugs!

Azmom, that's nice of you to say!

All my sales had the normal stresses and I did what I was supposed to do about it and got through it relatively unscathed. But this last one was a doozy. For one whole year I felt incredible stress and I think it was Stinky who said something about whenever you do something out of fear, you will have stress. I felt a lot of fear because I had no confidence that I was going to be able to sell that house. Like in the old days, I knew if I priced it right and marketed it right, it would sell. But this one... I was not sure that I had that control because of the economy and because of all the banks rejecting my buyers for crazy reasons. Therefore, I had no control, no faith that if I did the right things it would actually happen. That was scary and created a lot of stress. I did everything you're supposed to do for stress. I read a lot and am into self-improvement but it went on and on and on. We'd get a buyer and he'd get rejected and we'd say, okay, keep calm, recoup, bounce back and take action.... We were literally sick from the stress. I was getting chest pains and I was worried I had some kind of cancer. At the time I didn't even think it had anything to do with the house. We've been here for two months and I haven't had those pains once. I feel like I aged though.

LITH~I go to bed with those dreaded chest pains every night from stressing about this house....when will it sell...where will I go....do I build or buy...and if I buy, which house should I buy. It is doubled now that my DH is gone...he was the level headed, calm one in the family...I am the emotional one~~and it shows mentally, as well as physically. I know I should not act for at least a year, but this is something we had planned to do for several years. I just keep trying to tell myself that it will happen in God's time, if it is meant to be~~~