I drive myself crazy looking for the "perfect" whatever. To be perfect, it has to be priced right as well as aesthetically what I want, plus be practical in a home with kids and pets.

I have been putting off a reno for years as I can't find what I want. However, now my husband has decided we MUST replace our hardwoods, paint, furniture, and update our bathroom. I have been looking for months, but still have not purchased anything.

For me, cost is a big factor. So, in your example, if I could find an okay tablecloth for under $20, I would just buy it, and keep looking for the perfect one. In my case, where furniture and floors are very expensive, I can't settle for anything less than perfect--thus we have old parquet floors and old furniture that is falling apart.

What's your limit on how long you will look for something? When do you throw the towel in and settle for what's "just" OK?

Good question. Don't know that I have any hard and fast 'rules' but then it's not often there's really specific item that's a *must have*. Generally I have an idea and a vague plan instead.

But like kristinekr cost is a big factor. I'm willing to shell out the bucks when I know I've fount IT, but most of the time, I want to feel that bargain feeling.

For something like a tablecloth I'd be very willing to make do - that would not be a huge priority in my life. I'd find something to take the chill off the table and then continue looking at my leisure, hopeful that something wonderful would pop up one of these days. Meantime, I've made do with functional.

A piece of furniture is another story, especially if it needs to have specific qualities of size, style, function, etc. I've been looking for a tall, narrow cabinet with glass doors for my dining room for well over a year now. Haven't found it yet and am considering having it made - but then my bargain instincts take over and I go back on the hunt!

It just depends - sometimes, it if is a bargain; low ticket item; easily replaced, I might settle. Like your table cloth. If it is high dollar, I wait - and wait - and wait. You will find the right table cloth eventually. I would not settle on LR furniture, drove myself crazy looking, but I eventually found what I wanted.

I "settled" for an area rug for my DR. I could not find what I wanted or could afford, but I did find an 8 X 10 $100 polypropolene rug (still sold on-line) at a thrift store that sells JC Penney liquidation items. The colors work, it feels good, looks pretty good, but eventually I will replace it with a flat weave wool.

I also "settled" for basic, tab tops panels for the DR. They were on clearance, color works great, actually I love them now. I refused to settle on my LR drapes, because I had everything else (sofa and LS, nice wool rug) so I went ahead and sprung for the ones I wanted from Pottery Barn. Now I am happy.

Settling allows me to work on other more urgent things like shingles on a leaking roof, new french doors that are not very energy effecient, etc.

Tuesday

I'm not one to settle. I have found that when I do that I usually end up being disappointed in the long run. It doesn't have to be perfect, but if I have something in mind, that is what I look for. But, I'm not the type who looks and looks and looks everyday for a week, etc. I'll have it in mind and when I'm out and about, I'll look. I think a house evolves, so you are always "looking". LOL I'm not one to get frustrated over it (most of the time!), I can be pretty patient until I find what I want.

tina

I usually have a hard time settling, but it does depend to a certain extent on what I'm looking for. If it's an inexpensive item, or something that can be swapped in and out, so it doesn't matter if I have more than one (a tablecloth or wreath for the door for example), then I am more likely settle just to get it done. More expensive items, or things that I wouldn't want to replace anytime soon, I'm much more likely to hold out on. This is why we have no table lamps in the LR or FR and probably never will. Apparently the lamps I want only exist in my head.

Totally Confused

I tend to settle too quickly BUT it's usually because of budget limitations. The more limited you are, the more you often have to compromise.

I struggle with this too! Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem! What normal person spends hours and hours searching for the right soap dispenser? Don't most people in this world just walk into a big box store and pick one up? Why do I need it to be so darn special? We just moved into a house that needs a lot of "stuff." We have a lot of blank walls, empty spaces, windows, etc. I want everything to be meaningful and special; so, I drive myself nuts looking for the "perfect" whatever. At some point though, I feel like I just need to start getting stuff. I don't like settling bc often it means by something 2x bc I'm not happy, and that's a waste of time and money. I wish I just didn't care as much about what was in my space. It would just make decisionmaking so much easier!

Check Etsy.com -- look for some of the talented sewers there -- you could ask them for quotes for a modern fabric tablecloth!

Lots of gals on Etsy do work with modern fabrics!

Or check around for a dark or light woven grasscloth or bamboo.

Have you checked at Crate & Barrel or CB2?

Jan at Rosemary Cottage

I lean toward the perfectionist school in picking stuff for the house. Took me a year to pick a couch. I saw curtains I liked, but they were not perfect. It occurred to me that I have been living without curtains for four years. We may need this big house only another four years. How many more years do I plan to keep looking? So I bought and hung them and I'm really enjoying the pretty pattern and the privacy they provide. I lean more towards "just right" versus "good enough" but there are times when it pays to just make a decision already :)

I usually regret it if I buy something that I don't love, whether it's clothing, shoes, home decor, etc. By contrast, my husband and I have realized that we've never regretted it when we spend more for things we do love.

I feel your pain on tablecloths. Last time I shopped for something fun, I looked all over -- Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, Bed Bath and Beyond, Bloomingdales Home, Williams Sonoma, Macy's... everything was either very boring or very traditional. I did find something fun at Anthropologie, but it didn't come in a large enough size. (Worth checking to see if you like what they have.)

I finally settled for a solid color cloth and funky napkins and napkin rings from C&B. In your case, if you can't find a fun cloth, you could do a solid cloth and a fun runner.

Short answer:
It really depends.

Ramble alert:
IâÂÂm a perfectionist and IâÂÂm also impatient which is a lovely combination. It's two things I need to work on. I always want to find IT yesterday. I lose focus at times that decorating and having your house evolve over time is to be fun. I can get frustrated to the point where I have to walk away from the subject entirely at times when I canâÂÂt find IT or something isnâÂÂt coming together. Then I have to remind myself how silly it is. Money doesnâÂÂt grow on trees in our backyard either so I have to be realistic. I have to decide how important the thing is to me if I want to continue with my project list as the sprinting speed IâÂÂm always trying to go. Some things IâÂÂll spend more on, and other things IâÂÂll settle, but I still âÂÂlikeâ whatever it is.

Sometimes when itâÂÂs just impatients that gets in the way and not lack of funds, I find that I end up replacing the âÂÂlikedâ item when the right âÂÂlovedâ one comes along. IâÂÂm trying hard not to do that anymore. On the bright side, my sister loves that I do this since she usually ends up with my stuff. :)

Most here will probably disagree with me, but a rug is a good example of something I wonâÂÂt shell out thousands of dollars for. And after my experience with a cheaper hand tufted rug, IâÂÂll bump it down to synthetic next time. I wonâÂÂt be panicked if one of the cats decide to yak a hairball on the rug. (because you know they never do it in an uncarpeted spot!) I do find IâÂÂm drawn to expensive hand hooked/knotted rugs. My solution to that is, just donâÂÂt look at them.

My bedding is an example of something I was willing to spend more for. IâÂÂve wanted the room finished (the main things, not art and accessories) for three years. However, figuring out what I really wanted took that long. I spent the last year looking for stock bedding that made my heart pitter patter. Nothing. The one bedroom picture from the Nell HillâÂÂs book did just that. The individual costs such as the fabric, having them made, pillows, etc. were good prices by themselves but when I add the total of everything so far, IâÂÂm slightly sick thinking of other things I could do with that. To me, it was a lot of money when you could go and buy a bed in a bad for $50 somewhere but I wouldnâÂÂt of been happy with that. That sounds terrible but itâÂÂs the truth. It wouldâÂÂve bugged me. Hopefully another GWer can relate to what IâÂÂm saying. I couldâÂÂve used that money for a new chair to replace the wingchair in the LR but that wasnâÂÂt as important. IâÂÂd do it all again.

So thatâÂÂs my story.

p.s. I know the house will never be completely âÂÂdoneâ but I think my frantic rush also has something to do with trying to get the house done...

I will usually shop tediously for a couple weeks on an item and then call it quits by either making a purchase that "works," is pretty close, or I call off the search altogether. I'm an Interior Designer and I do lose objectivity on my own home and have found by being more objective and not needing to love everything, my interior looks better because of it. In the end, what I love about my space is the collection of things that express who I am and what I want my interior to feel like. There are quite a few pieces I love, but items I didn't love, I have learned to love in relation to my space.

So: What's your limit on how long you will look for something? When do you throw the towel in and settle for what's "just" OK?

Not very long ... I tend to do "satisficing". I do not consider "settling" to be a bad thing, because I have limited time. I also define a problem quite carefully, trying to minimize the number of features that have to be accounted for.

Here's your problem: You defined one problem, and then tried to find a solution that brought in a lot of parameters that had nothing to do with the problem.

YOUR PROBLEM: I have a glass-topped dining table that I frequently use my laptop on when I'm working from home, and with winter coming working on the glass can get cold!

SOLUTION: Anything that keeps your hands and forearms off the cold glass ... it doesn't have to be a tablecloth, it could be a piece of fleece you spread under the laptop while you work and put away when you put the laptop away.

By turning something functional into decor you increased the features you had to find: Insulating qualities PLUS had to fit the table PLUS had to go with the decor PLUS had to excite you ....

Here is a link that might be useful: Satisficing explanation

Lazygardens - I have never heard of "Satisficing". How fascinating! I have trouble getting motivated sometimes as I feel uncomfortable starting a task or deciding to buy something unless the stars are in alignment.

I can't settle on anything. I am pretty frugal and have this odd idea that everything I buy will be with me forever, so it better be perfect in every way - useful, beautiful, good quality, etc.

I had to laugh when I read what Sheeshare wrote about "trying to get the house done ... before we have kids". I am trying to get my house "done" before my teens leave the nest. My oldest started high school this year and is never home anymore ... so I am trying to speed things up.

I have been settling for about 30 years.

My 'baby' just moved out. I'd like to get the house done (& maybe have time to enjoy it) before we have to child-proof it for grand-kids.

I settle at times but it will be something that is pretty inexpensive. I just got rid of windsor chairs that I settled on when we were selling our old house. I needed chairs that were smaller so the kitchen looked bigger. I purchased them in 1992 at JCPenneys and got rid of them about 2 weeks ago. Sometimes the things I settle for last a long time.

I never buy the best or most expensive, but I do buy something when I really feel it is "it" for me and I appreciate it. Someone will always be richer, thinner, etc... but I shoot for finding something I love that will function for me for a while. I'd usually rather wait than buy something that does not feel right. I will "settle" for something we can afford, but that does not mean I won't love it and am not excited to get it. I think it is about expectations. I enjoy any of the new purchases I make and am grateful to have what I was looking for.

I also sometimes have to fight getting "just the right thing" for every single item I ever buy. It can be a lot of work and no one gives you that time back. Of course, said by the person who probably looked for 30+ hours online alone for our coffee table (not counting in stores), lol. The one we bought was as right as we could afford and hit the criteria I was looking for. No one looking at it would guess I spent that long looking, but it is just right for our space and it was reasonable. That made it the right one for our house.

I don't replace things often so strive to get them right the first time.

Lazygardens, that is one of the most profound observations I've ever seen here on GW, and many of us could learn how to satisfice. But, sometimes, I think the problem is analysis paralysis. I remember a poster several years ago saying she had been looking for a sofa for something like 7 years. 7 years!!! I, too, am a perfectionist, and only want things in my house I love. But, I don't look forever. I know, in general, what I want and how I want it to look, and how much I want to spend, then I find it. It may take a week or a few months, but it doesn't take years. When I find it, I stop looking, because that's when the uncertainty and self-doubt start. But, I will also purchase something for function if the funds aren't there right now. I bought Target lamps and Bombay tables for the MBR when we moved in our new home 13 years ago, because I needed them, then replaced them with better quality later.
Dee

Does spending two years looking for the perfect handles and knobs for built-in cabinets put me in the will-search-endlessly category? Tip: green painter's tape can be fashioned into make-shift handles that work just fine.

My DH is convinced that the items I want do not exist. But then I bring out The Magazines and show him that they DO exist...somewhere.

I have tried really hard to instill perfectionism in my DD. Fortunately, it hasn't worked. She has mastered the art of Good Enough. Hearing those words has always caused me a great deal of angst because I know I am being pushed to compromise. But I suppose that's a good thing. Hey, isn't that what the ultimate perfectionist Martha Herself would say?

I am getting better. I have started to make Good Enough purchases that have been quite satisfactory, including handles and knobs for the aforementioned cabinetry. While perhaps not perfect, I find them slightly more attractive than the green ones they replaced.

maureeninmd I am pretty frugal and have this odd idea that everything I buy will be with me forever, so it better be perfect in every way - useful, beautiful, good quality, etc.

I worked with a lot of design engineers. You learn to satisfice by learning to define requirements: what is the real problem you are trying to solve.

Few things can be simultaneously useful, beautiful, durable, high-quality, affordable, and fit in the alloted space. You have to decide which of the qualities are most important at this moment, for this problem.

The second part of satisficing is that when you have found the item you needed, you QUIT LOOKING! I found tile for a bathroom re-do that fit all my requirements: porcelain, in budget, blended with existing tile, and right size at the first of about 20 tile dealers. I bought it right then and tore up the list. Maybe out there was one that blended just a tiny bit better, or was a few cents cheaper, but it's not worth spending three days looking just in case.

For my ski boots ... I went from one end of town to the other, and tried on every danged brand in my size in the entire resort area, because the ONLY thing that counted was comfort and I wasn't having much luck finding it.

I don't settle and seem to spend huge amounts of time shopping. But I do enjoy the hunt and love finding the right thing at a good price.

I have lost some weight recently and now most of my clothes don't fit so I have had to buy lots of new clothes. This has been frustrating, a little expensive, and also time consuming. But I haven't settled either. The joy of wearing skinny jeans for the first time -and looking good in them is a fabulous feeling!

The same with home decor- finding the right thing is great!
But I won't go years without something, I'll either up the price I need to spend or look harder.

Sometimes after looking at everything everywhere, you get an idea of how much you have to spend to get the right look and quality.