We ended up doing this very thing: a dark finish for our light above the dining room table and the semi-flush lights in the entries from the patio doors, and a matte chrome for the kitchen pendants. We also have an open plan so all can be seen together. I think it works fine to mix the finishes.
From diining room side:

I honestly think all of us tend to really over think these things. I know I obsess endlessly over things like this. I wanted the new pendants in my kitchen remodel to match the chandelier over the breakfast table so I had my electrician move my brass chandelier that I love to my dining area that never had a chandelier over the table. It is close to my ceiling fan that we just replaced that is polished nickel and honestly it looks fine. I was going to replace the brass fixture as polished brass seems dated, but it is just too pretty to replace so I am keeping it!

Thank you leela4 and holly-kay. leela 4 the light fixture over my dining table in our current house looks very similar to yours!

Holly-kay, I'm indeed finding that going with the flow and working with what I have (and not stressing out too much) is easiest. But it is a process of weighing cost and preference and trying to find the balance that feels right. Should I let go of my vision for the kitchen that included stainless/satin nickel fixtures? Should I try to find a way to make it work in spite of lack of time and desire to stay in budget? I think I'll be happy either way - but thanks for reminding me to give myself a break! Always good advice.