We give the same amount to our 2 children and our 2 children-in-laws (because we still like them and together they gave us wonderful grandchildren).

I'd just give checks to the sons and a nice gift to the DIL.

This happened in my dad's family and the six adult children received 1/6 of the gift regardless if they are married or they've 'given' grandchildren.

Adult children are valuable whether they are married or procreated for your benefit.

You have favoritism and it would be better that you give a family gift to your adult children. Your adult children have family among friends and /or are partners otherwise. That leaves the only waves created among the adult children if they so choose.

My Dad has given his three married kids a pretty sizeable money "gift" every Thanksgiving, for some years now. He gives each family one check-makes the check out in each of his kid's names-not spouses. None of us have separate accounts than our spouses-so it's never been a problem at all. I wouldn't expect my husband's family to give money to me personally either. In our situation, none of us "need" the money-I know not all families operate the same though.

If it were an actual present that only one spouse could use, that would be different.

I would make the check out to both of them (husband and wife) and let them decide how to procede.

I would only give to the three sons, since only one is married. That is, unless you choose to split the married son’s portion in half, so his spouse gets the other half. I would also make clear the monry is from the aunt’s estate.

I like the idea of giving the money before or after Christmas, but not as a Christmas present. Just say that it is part of an inheritance. Separate it from the idea of a 'gift". And yes, make out the check to the married son to both.

First I would not give it for Christmas.

My father left a small estate last year. It was divided equally to his 6 children. One sister gave some money to each of her 3 children and said "this is your inheritance from grandpa". Technically that wasn't true and I felt that the other 8 grandchildren would be asking for their inheritance. I would have said "Grandpa left me some money and I liked to share with you." Which is what I intend to do with my daughter when I think the time is right.

In your case I would say "Auntie X left me an inheritance I would like to share it with you" to your sons. Then let them decide how they wish to spend it

Whenever you decide to distribute the money keep in mind the tax ramifications. I think for this year you can give up $16,000 (per person) without triggering a tax.

Inheritances and gifts are different animals in my book. I think most people distribute inheritances per stirpes, which to me is only fair. Otherwise when one child marries his/her family receives twice the inheritance simply by dint of having a spouse. That seems unfair.

Yes, unfair, and since wills are rarely rewritten or updated, there could be deaths, divorces, remarriages, new babies, etc.

Inwould divide the amount among the three sons. I hope the married ones consider all money to be theirs together. I alsomwould not give for Christmas.

Imlike the idea of writing the check to both son and his wife..

In 2023 the maximum gift amount is $17,000. The check must be written in 2023. I kinda have the feeling you are not doling out that kind of dough!

Actually, if you are a couple, you can give $17,000 from each of you, so the max for 2023 is $34,000 from parents to any one child (tax free). (For 2022 it is $16,000/$32,000.)

Thanks to everyone for their input. Much appreciated. I should have stated that from my small inheritance we are thinking of giving the kids $2000.00. They'll have to wait until we're gone for their big payout haha! Our usual Christmas gifts are more modest so we thought it would be fun to do it then. I'll share all of your your thoughts with DH.

Just wanted to add that i thought maddielee’s first comment showed only that she’s a proud grandma!