Ha, this is timely, because I just went on a trip with my DIL and whenever she took my pic and I thought I was smiling, she would kind of scold me and say ”Look HAPPY!” Huh, I thought I was? One thing I found was that if I tilted my head a bit and looked up slightly, it helped. Hard to explain but I saw the difference in a series of a few photos she took (while she kept yelling at me to look happy LOL).

No tips, but I am your long lost sister. I cannot stand having posed photos taken either. I am better in 3D. LOL

Funny you should bring this up. I was telling some friends recently that years ago, when cameras were popular..lol...I would always like taking pictures. Now, with cell phones that zoom right in on you, I can't stand it. Very few pictures of myself do I like lately. As far as looking happy, I think it's highly overrated, many times it just looks like one is trying too hard. I'm going to try the slightly tilted head thing.

I read that Queen Elizabeth would make a joke, maybe something a little risque, when taking pictures, and in at least one shot people would be smiling/laughing naturally, making for a good photo. I try to remember that and not crack a joke but imagine someone did.

DH hates having his picture taken, and doesn’t smile for the camera!

I'm trying to imagine QEII telling a slightly risque joke.

I have always loathed having my photo taken, and avoid it always. Until I realized that my beloved sons and grandchildren would have no idea what I looked like after I am gone. That is just sad. I love having all the family photos of my parents and grandparents, and the ones of great- and great-grandparents! I must readjust my position on having my photo taken....

On the other hand, my DH always wants his subjects facing him, and smiling. That makes for very boring, stilted pics (IMO) and he loses all the sweet & fun candid shots. One of my favorite photos that I took over 45 years ago is of our two sons -- a shot from the back, with them both dressed in red shirts & denim pants standing under a red umbrella looking at the rain out of the front door, elder son holding the umbrella and with his arm across the shoulders of the younger one. =)

Roxanna I have felt much the same way for years. There are practically no photos of me over 2000s because I am always the one taking the pictures. And since we’ve had grandchildren I want them to have pictures to remember me by. Over the past year and a half I have slowly gotten in more group photos and have even posted a few of myself here where the audience is friendly no matter how bad the pictures are. It’s like wading into a cold swimming pool… painful and takes a while. I am still not comfortable having pictures taken and have no idea what to do with my arms and legs and hands — and expression. But as bad as I have thought the pictures were, none of my friends or family and no one here has reacted badly so I think I need to stop acting like my photos are any different from anyone else’s. And that is quite comforting!

I definitely look better if I am caught laughing than when I am "trying" to smile. I told my Dad a slightly off colour joke before he walked me down the aisle to get him to loosen up. He cracked up and everyone commented on how happy he looked walking down the aisle. My SIL-to-be has a wicked sense of humor so maybe I'll get him to have a couple of jokes up his sleeve for the photo session.

I read that pushing your head forward a bit during a photograph taking session helps you to be a little bit more vibrant looking for some reason. Maybe because all the blood is rushing to your head or away from your head or something when you're pushing so far forward. :-).

Also a smaller relaxed smile works better for me. I hate having my picture taken so I've read up on all about it.

I'm right up there with being the least photogenic person on the planet! My sister and I are tied for the worst position! HAHA! I think the camera, for me, puts on 100 lbs instead of the 10 lbs it's supposed to! :(

My two sisters and I have a running gag when we pose for pictures. One will say "chins up, shoulder back, b**bs out, turn to the side, now smile!"

I’m also in your camp. I think its because while I care about how I look, I’m not vain. So while ”everyone else” practices how to pose for pictures, I stop at how I feel in the mirror. An oversimplified generalization, bit you get the idea.

p.s. A glass of wine does help me be better at a lot of things😂😁😂

I have no idea who that old crone is in my driver's license photo. Yikes.

Yesterday I went to lunch with four friends at a yacht club on SF Bay. It was Fleet Week and a gorgeous October day. Everyone wants pictures. We have to track down some staff person so we can all be in the same photo. The light was horrendous for photos, sharp and bright but at an angle. Bright sun we were all pinched and squinty with harsh shadows raking across our faces. In the shade our faces were black holes. We got a few smartphone pics that were just okay.

One of my friend's husband came to pick her up and we asked him to take our pic. He had a real camera. What is that ancient artifact?!! The camera figured out the lighting better than our iPhones and the result was so much better.

I don't think I take a very good photo at all. I spent the night at a friend's and over our first cup of coffee the next morning she suggested a selfie. I politely declined. I'm not a fan of selfies at the best of times and this wasn't even close.

Is it a female thing, do you think? One thing I find uncomfortable is when my sisters insist on examining the thumbnails and doing retakes because they don't like the way they looked in a photo. Maybe because it seems insecure - and they do it a LOT.

I've practiced in a mirror, and try to memorize what my face feels like when I'm satisfied with the way I look. After that, one just has to resign oneself to whatever the result may be - at least, that's what I do. I tell myself it's just not that important, and challenge myself to accept it as is.

And as someone in a family of photographers - not everybody is great at capturing people looking their best, so it's not always the subject's fault when photos don't turn out so good.

I always try to take multiples in case someone was blinking or moving. Group shots are harder than singles.

P.S. There's a really awkward wedding party photo from my sister's wedding where I look like a lunatic, because I had a huge grin with my eyes open wide - everybody looks sane but me 🤪

My friends and I have a rule that group photos don’t get posted unless everyone signs off on it.

Carol, I would love to see that picture, it’s probably everybody else’s favorite.

My sisters are beautiful ... and well, I got the brains lol. I stopped fighting pictures when one my my nieces said, "when you die, we will have NO pictures of you!". She was sincerely upset (and was dealing with the loss at the time).

I still hold onto the rule that every funky photo posted to social media must be approved!

I remember an admonishment about photos - you will never be any younger or skinnier. LOL. I see photos of myself from years past and know that's true. I also have lost a lot of my hair to chemo and a blood disorder. I rejeted wigs and breast protheses so I don't look like I remember myself being.

When I sees old photos of myself, family and friends now, I tend to think about these lines from Mary Smich's essay, "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young".

"...Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; or never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine..."

Add me to the list of "No photos, please". I hate having my picture take, with a passion.

My mother hated having her picture taken, and as a result, I probably have less than 10 photos of her. She died at 55, almost 30 years ago. Several years ago when I realized that (lack of pics) I vowed not to be so camera shy. However…because I still feel self conscious about it, I tend to make goofy faces. I can’t remember what it was for, but last year sometime I was trying to find a decent picture of myself and could not find a ”normal” photo. So, I am trying to act more normal. Sometimes. Here is a typical pic of me, you can guess what year it was.

I'm always told I am photogenic, but to me that means "gee you don't look nearly as good as your photo." Women and beauty; we are all nuts.

Neko, Talk to your DDs. If they are anything like mine, they and their friends are incessantly taking photos and know all the tips and tricks to look one's best for the camera. Maybe do some practice and learn a pose you like of yourself.. You don't want anything to ruin your day, figment of your imagination or not!

After realizing many years ago that not smiling didn't work for me, I now always smile.

Also remembeting to stand up or sit up straight. No slouching..

I taught both DD’s at a very young age and they always look great.

Mtn, I disagree. To me being photogenic means you look just as good in your photo as in real life!

Nekotish, when posing, just think a happy thought. Something that always make you smile.

<< Mtn, I disagree. To me being photogenic means you look just as good in your photo as in real life! >>

I agree with this!

We are so dang hard on ourselves -- honestly the thing that has helped the most is the fact that I have to take selfies to check my makeup. I can't see when I havent blended my makeup well unless I take a selfie and zoom in. It has forced me to accept my face-- good and bad it's my face lol! It has also given me the opportunity to try different expressions and smiles. Now I need to start doing the same full body-- but my ego isn't quite ready for that!

I think I was photogenic when I was younger, but absolutely not now. I hate having my picture taken, I look like a damn fool. Menopause is kicking my butt and my face.

Yikes, so hard on yourself Jilly! I doubt that is true. They say we all have distorted standards because the images that are promoted to us and splashed everywhere are primarily of people who make a living from their extraordinary beauty, at least in part. Not to mention that even their beauty "requires" air-brushing in most cases. Next time you are out, look around. You may end up being more gentle on yourself.

PS do you have messaging on?

I had a dear friend who made it known (vociferously) that no one was to take any pictures of her, ever. She would leave an event if she saw a camera (and later, an iPhone being used as a camera) in the room; we all resepected her wishes. She died suddenly and unexpectedly, far too young, in the middle of the pandemic. At her Zoom memorial service, her brother shared pictures of her as a child, before her aversion to photographs. Those were the only images of hers that anyone among her friends and family had seen, and it makes me sad not to have a photograph of her as I knew her.

OMG Sue! I thought that pot was a regular size flowerpot and the figure inside it WAS A GARDEN GNOME WITH A BEARD! Then I clicked on the picture and realized it was a HUGE pot containing YOU wearing a mask! O.M.G. I need a nap.

Mtn, thank you, I like how you put that. :)

I think my mssaging is on, but I’ve been having a lot of trouble with this site! Not getting messages, not getting notifications, posts not going through, etc.

I have lots of pictures of myself, some better than others, but they’re all just me at a moment in time. I love pictures for the memories. When they come up on my phone I can relive the fun and special times behind the picture. So I always smile, because most times I was living my best life at that moment- with my family or friends, at the beach, traveling, with my doggy, at a special event, etc. I was there and I looked like that, like me, like most people see me in real life anyway for better or worse, but I was there and I want that momento and I want the smile that says I was happy, even if it causes my eyes to crinkle and a slight double chin.

I do also think that more angular faces - regardless of how ”pretty” they are take better photos. There is nothing sharp and angular on my body.

To me photogenic means photos of you look natural and capture you at your best. It has nothing to do with conventional beauty or youth. It's just that one looks right and good. My mother never took a bad photo. She had a big smile with good teeth and was the definition of photogenic.

Legomom….❤️

I want to be Legomom when I grow up.

I love the stories about families wanting to have photos of us when we are gone. A wonderful reason to try to feel more comfortable with having our picture taken.

Mtn makes a great point up there ^^ The kids have it figured out because they take millions of photos and selfies! There are lots of articles online about how to look good in photos and it takes a bit pf practice. I was looking for a young person article with tips and suggestions to link but found this instead.

https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/style-trends/info-2023/looking-better-in-pictures.html

I also don't like having my picture taken. I don't mind outdoor pictures as much because I can wear sunglasses. 😎

Kswl, you just made me laugh so hard.

To be clear, I don't dislike photos of myself because I don't look "gorgeous." I just don't even look human in a lot of them. I would be quite pleased to look like my middle-aged self rather than a moneky on meth!

I do not like photos of myself at all at this point in time... something went awry and I cringe at a photo being taken.

Legomom - you rock! What a way to live and think. Thank you. I need to print what you wrote and carry it with me forever!

I generally dislike having my photo taken as well. My biggest problem is that I very often close my eyes right when the photo is taken. I have no idea why. There doesn't even need to be a flash. However, I am trying to be more open to having my photo taken by friends and family because as I look back at the photos my husband and I have, I realize that so often we're taking photos of the things around us and have none of us doing those things together.

There are some great tutorials I've found online that give some good tips on how pose, how to position your face, and how to smile. Some of the things that have worked for me include trying to really bring my smile to my eyes not just making a smiling shape with my mouth. Thinking about something that makes you happy and thinking about having that light up your eyes and your mouth together. Practice taking some selfies and see what position is most flattering for your chin (how far up or down) and how wide to smile. At the end of the day, if it can help you feel more confident having your picture taken, it can't hurt, right?!

Prickly, yes the eyes. I have to concentrate on keeping them open.

A tip I heard was to keep your eyes closed while the photographer counts 1-2-3, you open your eyes and then they take the photo. Easy enough to try it.