I need the same 12-step program, so maybe we should form a chapter? :)
If you're talking about Asclepias tuberosa, I'll leave to others to tell you where to plant it, but I read somewhere that A. tuberosa can't compete with tree roots - this may explain why it won't grow here. Full sun is a must, and it needs fast draining, dry soil.
I'm glad you got A. tuberosa (assuming that's what it is) because monarchs do lay eggs on it sometimes, and it's a BIG nectar favorite of many butterflies. However, you can grow many other native milkweeds in your area that monarchs use more freely, like common milkweed, maybe purple milkweed, and others.
Welcome to the (addictive) world of butterflies and planting for them!
Sherry

Yes, a Lep Anonymous group is needed. Now that I sell at Farmer's Mkt, I'm really, really in desperate shape. I've got to have them all to sell!

LOL! I'll be a card-carrying member!

I got the bug really bad this year. Seems like all I want to do is nursery hop!
Yes, its A. tuberosa. I love trees and since we moved here about 30 years ago, we've planted tons of trees and the full sun in our back yard has diminished to a small area. I'm trying to fit all the sun-loving plants in that area.
I have a big patch of lemon balm and mint taking up way too much of the sun space, so I think I'm going to trim them back for some of these other plants.
I was going to only keep echinachea magnus, but found green jewel and Firebird and I just couldn't resist. The Firebird is bright red, but it was born prematurely (haha), and I have to keep it in intensive care for awhile.
We have about 35 acres and tons of Joe Pye weed and milkweed. Unfortunately, in all those 30 years, I only saw one monarch chrysalis. But I see plenty monarchs.
I have to admit....my housekeeping has gone to pot this spring. I'm too busy with my addiction!
There are worse ones, right?? :)

That's what I keep telling myself - there are worse addictions, right?

Wait until you get into winter sowing, Catherine. You should see my yard. I have small pots growing out of the ground right now! Lots of milkweed species, Salvia, Tecoma stans and Tecoma red, native plants and other host plants, yikes!

MissSherry, I had not heard that about A. tuberosa, and I had intended to plant a couple under my big pine tree. Guess that nixes that idea. I wonder if it can be grown in deep pots to accommodate the taproot??? I have a Spanish style pot that is 2.5' deep. Not very wide, probably 10" at the top and narrowing to 5" at the bottom. It sits in an ornate stand. Maybe I could put one in it??? It is just made of clay, so I could put some aquarium gravel and sand in the potting mix. I think that A. tuberosa is hardy enough to overwinter in a pot like this but only time would tell.

Susan

I have noticed during transplanting of seedlings that with some plants that have a taproot without enough vertical space it will circle the bottom of the pot. I suspect that a deep enough pot might work and would certainly be a worthy experiment to help everyone else that would like to grow these in pots.

Susan, I remembered where I read that it can't compete with tree roots - I've linked it.
I've tried growing it repeatedly, but it always died a slow death - tree roots are everywhere here, so that may explain its failure. I don't know about growing it in pots - maybe if you used one of those pots with a lot of holes in the bottom (pruning pots?) that would do, I don't know.
Sherry

Here is a link that might be useful: Asclepias tuberosa