It's funny how life changes things.

I am a middle-aged gardener. For the first 25 years of my life I wasn't interested in gardening at all. Sure, my grandmother gardened and my mother gardened, but I didn't think I'd inherited "the gene." Buying a house changed that.

My husband inherited gardening genes from his side of the family (paternal grandmother), and he kept this a secret until after he suffered a knee injury which ended his sports playing. Suddenly, Mr. Sportsman turned into Mr. Turbo Gardener. At first, I told my husband things like, "Well, you can tear up your side of the yard to plant flowers, but you leave my side of the yard alone!" Of course, his side was prettier, and he got all of the compliments and ever-so-slowly I began to garden just a little bit.

Next, we purchased a different home with 2/3rd of an acre and we just went crazy. Hubby installed a 100 ft x 10 ft. garden bed in front of the house with small ornamental trees, iris, Mexican oregano, rosebushes, rosemary, etc. This was hubby's bed. Next, for me, he installed an 85 ft. winding brick pathway all by hand flanked by two beds on either side. I proceeded to fill my beds with roses, Turk's Cap, daylilies, bridal wreath, mock orange, crinums, lantanas, salvias, coral vine, etc., etc. In the rest of the back and front yard, we planted wild flowers seeds and planted native trees.

Then hubby got very ill and couldn't garden anymore. Our neighbors, as a gesture of love, came and weeded his front bed. Hubby died a slow lingering death, and all of the yard was neglected for 16 months. The summer he died we experienced a drought, and we lost three of the young trees he'd planted. I didn't water once. The year after he died (last year), we had more rain than anyone knew what to do with, and I didn't touch the yard except to mow.--No pruning , fertilizing, weeding. Nothing. I was going to sell the house and move.

I bought another house and began packing. Before putting the house on the market, I showed it to a realtor/friend and it was through her eyes that I saw what I had. I couldn't leave the flowers and brick pathways or the house. These were mine & his.

During the two years when I did nothing, nature cleared our beds of plants that couldn't make it through drought and floods and left the hardiest plants alive.

So, now I've rented the second house to my 25 y/o daughter (who is dating....a gardener!..She says she doesn't want to be like her mother..) and I've begun to work on the beds again. Sometimes I feel it's too much for one person, but then I have a private pity-party for a day or two and pick up where I left off.

Long term plans? Well, I think I'll stay in this house and continue to maintain what's there, but I've learned God has a way of changing plans.

I have a friend who asks me why I choose to work so hard on the beds. It's in my genes.

Nell, I am in your shoes. Beginning to worry about not being able to take care of things.

My plan is to keep on keeping on...............all my beds could just be mowed down if need be. I have seen neighbors flower beds disappear like that.

I hate regular pruning and had let the yews around the foundation (not my doing) get to tree-like proportions so we broke out the chainsaw and cut them to the ground. I am replacing them with dwarf size flowering shrubs. For temporary fill-in this year I am planting lots of annual seeds.

Another thing is I don't do fussy plants....I like self-seeders which will fill in most bare spots before the weeds can take hold.

The other thing I do is mulch heavily to cut down on watering and weeding.

I must quit buying roses....between trimming, black spot and RRD, they are becoming a chore.

Another thing I am doing is lots of natives that do well without much care.

Still able to get on the riding mower....DH doesn't do the yard.

I keep things where I can mow around too, but just yesterday realized the path between the garden fence and the drive border has become almost to narrow....need to do something there.

I have a long deep front ditch out front that used to require a hour of string-trimming that I am working on filling with ground covers and self-seeding flowers so I can eliminate that hated chore.

Here is a picture of the path in the garden that I mow. Please don't look at the grass..........I don't do lawns well at all. This is bermuda grass that I have sprayed twice to kill and it needs it again.

The second is a very easy-care bed around the Ash Tree which I call the Ash Tree Bed (not very original). It is so full that a weed hasn't got a change!
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You mean somebody actually plans all this work? I would never admit that I "planned" this mess I'm in. It would be too embarrassing. It just somehow happens. How did I know when I carefully planted and fertilized each of those very special daffodils, complete with name tags of each, that the tags would quickly disappear and each of those single bulbs would turn into clumps. I'd never plan that. How did I know that my first peony would turn into 150, or my first rose would turn into 200, or that little bitty bush would take over the whole corner. And what about those cute little spruce trees that my Aunt Edna gave me -- yep! the ones that are 65 feet tall now. Have you any idea what it would cost if one of those were to fall, probably on the house? Then there's the willow tree I started in a glass of water on the windowsill back in 1960 when we moved into our new house. That cost me $2,000 to have taken down (before it fell down and took the utilities with it). The stump is three feet across. I'd never plan that stuff.
Lessons learned:

Less is more!
When in doubt, leave it out!
Grass is not boring; it mows quicker that gardens weed.
Pavement is beautiful.
Round-up is a very useful tool.
Weed 'n Feed is the next best friend.

Plan? But I agree, the older I get the more simple things need to be.

What a touching story, redthistle. May your gardens bring you pleasure and peace.

I want more hardscape and less grass.

I'd love a larger patio/covered porch area, a few brick or stone paths, and maybe a gazebo. An updated sprinkler system and some lighting could go on my dream list.

I'd love more flower/perennial beds because grass is a time consumer for us. I'd rather pay for mulch than gas for the mower and spend an three hours a week weeding than mowing. I'm still moving toward a lush cottage garden look.

I realize I'm not as young as I used to be and I'm trying to think about plant maintainence as well as hardiness and beauty. Love my roses, but I definitely want to plant them where I don't have to prune tons each year.

Here is a link that might be useful: Creative Soul

I think I've got a plan but you know about well laid plans. First off, I did plant a few trees, got rid of all the lawn in the back yard, brought in yards and yards of driveway chip for paths and the lath house, the two pools we put in, well, when we can no longer look after them we'll fill them in. I've been planting Rhodo's and Shrubs, I have a few plants although some will call them invasive as they really spread, but when they are in bloom are very pretty, the weeds haven't got a chance with them :o) At a later date they will be called sweeps of color or texture (tongue in cheek here). Perennials will be the ones that have an architectural presence and can hold their own in amongst the shrubs and sweeps of color or texture (wink). The lath house which is filled with Fuchsias through the summer, when I have to cut back on this, one of the many plant addictions of mine it will still be a great place to sit in the shade as I will then be letting C. montana wilsonii run amuck and having it's own way with the lath house roof, Ahhh yes, just to be able to sit and take in it's delicious fragrance. I have visions of when it's my time to go it will be amongst a tangle of colors, textures and scents, sunny skies, warm breezes, birds singing and butterflies flitting etc., etc., etc.

Annette

One more day of planting and I'm done. Garden may not be done, but I AM! LOL

After tomorrow, I hope that my garden will be in maintenance and enjoyment mode until fall when I plant bulbs.

I had plants left from my contribution to the greyhound fund raiser, so I am finding those plants homes in my garden. I had already bought some tithonia for my butterfly garden, so I took a flat to the greyhound thing...well, no one was interested in orange blooms! :-) I will have a very bright butterfly garden this year.

Cameron

That's my short-term plan: a very bright butterfly garden. I planted tithonia and giant orange marigold seeds all around the plants
in my veggie plot so they can take over when the squashes are done, and shade the ripening tomatoes from the sun later.

Today I planted 6 red porterweeds at the end of another bed and checked the usual butterfly beds to see what else I can squeeze in.
There's always room to tuck in a few zinnia seeds.

If you've seen Wing Haven, then you know how I want to spend my last days: sitting among the birds and butterflies.

Here is a link that might be useful: Wing Haven

Well, here's another good thread for today!! My first home, my first garden - I thought I was planning ahead, but it was a lovely mishap!! I loved it, but it got ahead of me and I was never able to do the major renovating it needed. I started that at 42, and even then was so worried that I would not physically be able to do all that was needed. Well 12 years later, here I am in my new home. Older for sure, and hopefully wiser. And while I now know that I am able to do the hard work, for the most part, I am now trying to 'work smart'. Doesn't always work, though. This new yard is much larger, with many mature trees. It, to my way way of thinking, is very well laid out. My first priority is to not screw up the layout. To this end, I walk around a lot, and take many pictures. I will eventually add trees, both fruit and fir, and want to keep the balance that exists. Right now the major focus is getting the veg garden in place. My side yard, over the septic system was the perfect blank slate for this. Veggies don't have deep roots, so will be as benign as grass. The soil is a very sandy loam, perfect for root veg. Some of the dandelions I pulled had 2 1/2' roots. The original plan was a very manageable 12' x 24' but I can see this will be too small. I got enough sod cut to plant one row of potatoes, and realized that this was very hard on my damaged right knee. I hired the young lad who had shovelled snow for me a couple of times, showing him the work to be done, and offering him $10.00/hour (youth minimum wage in Ontario is just over $7.00/hour) He cut another swath of sod, about the same as I had, in an hour and a half. I haven't seen him since!!! Oh well, I tried. I got out there today, and cut another 5' to 6'. I now have 3 (12') rows of potatoes, 1 row of bush beans and 2 rows - 10 plants of tomatoes.

So, the moral of my story? There really isn't one, just that I plan to be here into my dotage. I plan on setting things up so that I have a regular maintanence schedule: some for snow, for grass; I will eventually make the garden a raised one, with wide paths for wheel barrows, maybe a walker or a wheelchair. I mean I hope not, but I want to be independent as long as possible. My Dad's Mum was 86, on a step ladder in the tub, cleaning the venetian blinds, when she had a heart attack and died within 48 hours. I'd like another 10 years, but you get my drift....

Cheers all, sorry to be so long winded!!

This is a thought provoking and valuable thread. Although I highly doubt we'll be in this house when all of our landscaping has reached full maturity, we did plan things for the future. All of the trees were planted taking into consideration their ultimate size and suitability for where they were planted. Perennials and shrubs are mostly in their places now and should be happy for decades. Our hardscaping work has been built to last.

Our house was built in 1938 and has seen landscaping come and go. By the time we bought it though, it was so neglected (and paved over) that we had to raze everything to bare dirt. The only shade that existed was that thrown by the house. Beds that are in full sun now will eventually be left to part sun/full shade as the trees mature. Right now, our irrigation system is designed to support maximum happiness in full sun conditions. But we use minimal water to support my habit. It's a series of drip lines and directional sprinklers that can be moved around as things progress and extablish. This elaborate system requires maintenance right now, but eventually only a small amount of our space will require them at all.

I can expect several more years of experimentation until my sun/shade patterns are finally set. By then, it will probably be time to hand over the shovel to the next owner. I can tell you this though, our next (and probably last) home will have all the bones in place. At my age, I never ever ever want to undertake a project like this again. If you hear me say otherwise, feel free to slap me until I come to my senses.

Steven

Redthistle, I love that sentence:
"...nature cleared our beds of plants that couldn't make it through drought and floods and left the hardiest plants alive..."
Isn't that what life does to people, too?
My long-term plan, I guess, is getting along with my extended family that I share my garden with - dogs, cats, and children included. It means making compromises, and sometimes you have to wait for the right moment to make new proposals ("errr, dear, wouldn't taking that tree down give us a bit more sunlight?", "wait, grandma, I can show you that a compost bin doesn't have to look nasty","folks, is there any way we could reduce the number of cars in the yard?" , but I'm still happier with them than without them.
Also, no more new invasives. I have enough already.
In case of some global disaster - be prepared to grow my own food.

midnightsmum, I wanted to respond to the removing of sod to do your beds/garden. I had been hearing about the lasagna method and tried it, although somewhat modified. I wanted to put the tomatoes in new ground but didn't want to till into sod that had some particularly tough grass.

I placed paper feed bags, split open. on the ground then laid waste hay over all and let it rest from last fall until this week. I pulled back the mulch and planted the tomatoes in beautiful, worm full, very moist ground. I also did a border along the garden fence laying newspapers down and then the hay flakes. All season long I would life a flake and spread my kitchen waste in place. It has worked beautifully for me.

Interesting thread. As I type this my boss' father who will turn 88 soon is mowing on a riding mower outside my office window. He can hardly wait for the grass to grow. I certainly hope I can be one of those gardeners who are able to continue into their 80's. That's the plan, for gardening to keep me young and fit. If not I will adjust. I do keep my beds and hardscaping easy to mow around with the rider. I have also added lots of shrubs and figure that I can always add more and make my borders shrub borders. I actually think that many of our health problems in this country are due to lack of activity, poor eating habits and obesity.

Redthistle, your story really touched me and I am so sorry for your loss. May your garden bring you peace and enjoyment.

Michelle

Redthistle, thanks for sharing your gardening journey with us. I hope you have many more wonderful years in your gardens. : )

My overall plan has changed a bit, too, as I get older. I don't mind most of the physical work but a shoulder injury and subsequent rotator cuff surgery made me realize that some things, such as digging large holes, are better left to the men in my life.

And drought have made DH and I both rethink some of our previous choices so the back grass came out and we have been sloooowly putting in stone pavers with drought tolerant plants between them. I'm really enjoying the look and DH loves not mowing the grass. He's even coming around to taking out the front small patch of grass eventually. We have a ground cover in most of the perennial beds, potentilla, that does very well on half the water the grass uses, takes some foot traffic and has pretty yellow flowers. I'd be just as happy with it and maybe a water feature of some sort. Must work on that plan some more. ; )

Michelle, I so agree with you on the lack of activity and poor eating habits linked to obesity, especially in our young people. If I can do 10 miles on my exercise bike every day you'd think someone half my age could walk 5 blocks to school but nooooo, mommy has to drive them! And when she picks them up after school, she drives them through a fast food place. Hello! Can you say apple? Banana? Orange? Ok, I better shut up cuz this is a sore subject with me, as you can tell. ; )

Diana

After emerging from a D4 drought situation, it's really made me much more aware of water consumption. I've been concentrating on natives and drought tolerant plants in my beds, which also cuts down on the amount of time spent maintaining them.

Since I am the solo gardener at my house (and I'm not getting any younger, either!) I'm looking at adding additional hardscaping in the form of paths, and also low maintenance ground covers.

Health issues, time issues and conservation issues are really driving my thinking these days when I look at my back yard. I just want to be sure that it is all manageable for me, and doesn't become a chore that I dread.

If it ever becomes an awful chore, I have no qualms about paving over a bed with flagstones and calling it a "patio extension". :-)

Marilyn

This thread is making me feel young, lol. I'm still in adding mode in my garden, since we have only been here a year and a half. Theoretically, this *could* be a forever house, but I suspect we'll move eventually. The plan is to stay here at least until dd is done with high school, so that gives me about 14 years.

My long-term plans for the yard are grand enough that I may not actually finish them in those 14 years. Well, maybe not exactly grand, but big? A lot depends on whether or not we manage to build the much-dreamed-of addition, too.

Once we are empty-nesters, who knows what we will end up doing. Dh really, really wants to be able to go somewhere in the cold winters...

I'd estimate 5-10 yrs more before we give up this house, assuming we both stay alive and healthy enough to manage a double level house/sloping huge garden.

I manage both. Everything is complete save for the usual maintenance and impulsive redesign of an occasional garden bed or two (or three....).

I use a gardener to help with the big stuff - shrubs I can't manage by myself, tree trimming. I do 98% of it and love it all.

When we finally sell, I plan to remove part of the front yard beds bordering the path to the front door. Ridiculous as it is to me as a gardener, I know that laying down a 2' row of sod bordering the path will give it the necessary 'curb appeal' for the 90% of buyers who don't garden. We're in a starter home neighborhood and very few people garden here.

It's ironic to me because the plants bordering the path are probably the least trouble and the most xeric! And two of them are moderately rare plants no longer sold in the nurseries around here. I'll probably take cuttings if I decide to take them with me.

It's been a great place to live (wonderful neighbors) and garden, but when it's time to move on, we'll be just one more story in our home's history. Plus we have lots of photos, from start to eventual finish, of what we accomplished here. That's all we need, when we're ready to move on to the next phase of our lives.

Redthistle, what a touching tale. I am so happy you chose to stay in the home you made "home" with your DH. I wish you many years of happiness and garden time to come :)

Steven, I am with you when it comes to the time when I move on. I will insist all the hardscape is done and solid. Unlike you who HAVE done all the work, my problem has been that DH has not wanted to do the hardscaping lol so it was left to me. No building going on, never have realized the gazebo I drew out years ago, simple wood platform with 4 columns which hold up a pergola top...

As I am aging I am seeing that my original plan (which was to turn my acres into meandering gardens complete with pea gravel walkways...which btw, never happened HA!...well that plan has changed to become more maintainance free for the bigger picture. I think I am planting more things I really do not need to fuss over. Hostas come to mind :) Also I am putting in more shrubs and ridding myself of the biggest PITA, the high matainence bed in the middle of my back yard...

I have also lessened my bigger goals. I wanted beds all around 2 acres. It is not gonna happen. So instead I am going to make little areas of interest and go with the natural wooded effect that surrounds the three sides of my house. So basically making more realistic goals for my aging butt!

It is funny how you become more of a realist as you age!

It's obvious everyone on this forum puts alot of time, effort and love into their gardens. Since my cottage garden is relatively new, my short term goal is to get everything mulched so I don't have to weed or weedeat (because I decided when I moved into my house that I didn't want grass, I didn't bother to buy a mower - my lot is almost an acre and I weedeat whatever isn't woodsey area). I learned from this forum that newspaper works wonderfully well to kill weeds and grass under the mulch so I'm trying to lay that all over my yard. Here's a picture of my work so far on the front yard:

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My long term goal is to have a low maintenance yard. I visited the botanical gardens in Birmingham this weekend and I would love to have a similar environment in my yard. I'm single, though, and middle-aged, so the work is pretty slow going and although I'm not the most patient person, I keep telling myself that it doesn't all have to be done at once or even in one year.

Mary