There is a garden near me that is absolutely great, and my wife and I occasionally see the people working outside. We have always said we should stop and talk to them, but we never have done it. Still, some day....

Joel

I am trying to look at it as though someone might ask me, I'd probably love to share my gardens and ideas and ask to see theirs too. How would you feel if someone asked you? Has anyone? I wonder why we are shy to ask. I sometimes think I would be interupting a special private time that some gardeners like..a little solace in the garden. Quiet time is hard to come by these days. Any thoughts on why we don't?

I have stopped to admire gardens during walks, from the sidewalk if no one is around. If there is someone outside and I can catch their attention, I comment on the garden. I think most people who put a lot of energy and attention into their yard are proud to talk about it. They're even more willing to give you a little tour, if you ask. I've been offered starts of interesting plants this way. I've also brought starts of plants from my garden to them. Gardeners as a whole are very giving people and make good friends.

Take the chance and ask. You have nothing to lose and a pleasant few minutes and possibly a friend to gain.

Sort of on topic..
I was recently down by my pond feeding the fish. I looked up to see a car pulling up my long driveway. I walked up to it and asked the woman driving the car, what she wanted. She told me that she thought the house and property were abandoned. She continued to say that she wanted to see if there was any plants she might take! I have posted signs all the way up the three hundred foot drive!
I guess..with all the wild flowers..maybe it looks 'natural',..but abandoned? I like to let my daisy field go unmowed until mid summer. It's really beautifull at full daisy blush.
Anyways,..I told her politely,..that I lived there, and no,..she could not take any of my plants. Sheesh!
ps: I realize the purple flowers are weeds,..but..they look nice in spring. What are they called?

In my experience, people love to talk about their gardens. Taking you on a tour while chatting about plants, methods, sharing problems (those varmints), and even giving out snips of things, is very enjoyable. Don't hesitate to ask for a tour. Start with lots of compliments and they will most likely invite you in. At the very least, they will talk with you.

As others have said, it seems much easier if someone's already outside tending the garden or nearby. You can start with compliments, perhaps strike up a conversation about gardening, and, if they seem at all friendly, say, "Mind if I take a look?" If no one's home, you could even leave a note explaining that you're a neighbor, wondering if you could stop by sometime to talk gardening and see theirs up close, and including your phone number. I don't know if I'd knock on someone's door or interrupt a family meal outdoors.

orcuttnyc, I've been wondering too about those purple and pink flowers, which seem to be by streamside everywhere. Could they be phlox?

ha ha ha. for some reason this reminds me of being out at a bar, catching someone's eye -- but both are too shy/intimidated to make a move. so you spend the rest of the evening, exchanging furtive glances through a crowd of drunks. then you go home, kicking yourself, thinking, "what if..."

ever since i was a kid, i've been taught "stranger danger. stranger danger. stranger danger." so, it's understandable that people might be somewhat wary of strangers.

but what's the worse that might happen? the gardner might be very shy/not receptive to strangers. but what's the best? you might make a new friend.

i think that if a random person stopped by our place and asked to check out our garden, i might think it a little odd. "stranger danger. stranger danger. stranger danger." but i think i'd be receptive. i'd try to be. in general, i'm pretty shy, though.

but i think that if you did walk up to someone and say, "hey, you know i pass by your garden from time-to-time and i think it's great. i'm really into gardening, too, would you mind if i took a walk around..." (something like that) --- i think that's a great compliment. and, hopefully s/he can get past that "stranger danger" drilling and might be receptive.

good luck!
--robbie--

You are all right, thanks....I just may, I'll let you know how it goes.....

orcttnyc, I think those purple flowers are like Dames Rocket, if I'm not mistaken. They are pretty, and I believe they are scented, am I right? They look so nice with the daisies.

I can see using caution, when inviting people into your gardens. I've had a guy steal my Casa Blanca Lilies at 6 am while he was jogging by. I had a woman send a toddler into my yard to pick my Nelly Moser Clematis, while she waited on the road with a stroller. I did go out and tell her how wrong that was. I do keep an eye when I can. Mostly to keep the dog walkers out...gosh that's gross when you have to weed and work there.

If any of you happen by, you are welcome to drop in, thanks for the encouragement. Send an email, we're in New Windsor. A little busy with the summer coming, but most days I'm out there. Thanks, JoAnn.

Orcuttnyc, I think what the lady in your driveway was really saying was "gee, I thought nobody was home and I could steal some plants".
It is amazing how brazen some folks are. JustJoeyGirl had her wicker chair stolen in New Windsor (NOT a remote rural town!). My neighbors in Cold Spring (fairly densely populated village) had a 20-foot canoe stolen from next to their garage in broad daylight, and it was chained to their fence!
Makes ya wonder...doesn't it?

plant thievery -- that's so low. i saw a post in another forum and someone talked about how a couple of her plants were dug up and stolen, right out of the ground! i was shocked to see that she was not alone in this. i would never think of someone who gardens as fitting the profile of a thief. how could you feel good about a plant in your garden, knowing that you got it by stealing it?

a friend of mine once told me this story: he was walking to the subway and saw a woman picking lillies from the front garden of a brownstone. she had her daughter with her, and her daughter started picking some flowers, too. just then, one of the tennants walked out of the brownstone. the woman dropped her flowers and scolded the child: "don't pick those flowers, they're not your's!" what a lesson to teach a child... it's ok -- as long as you don't get caught. it really bummed me out to hear that.

Ha, Ha, Ha,
Have you never walked around a garden with a scissor and a plastic bag and then gone home and rooted the cuttings, or nabbed some seed on occasion? As for gardens, I can't say I have seen a garden that I looks nicer than mine. Usually I walk pass a garden and immediately assume I either grow everything that is in it or don't want to grow what it. I give tours of my garden every year and always invite people in, but I live on a busy street so I don't have many on-lookers and the tour usually takes an hour. In general I tell people my garden is always open for people to come and visit, kind of like the vanderbilt, just no mansion (and the vanderbilt has a pathetic selection of plants).
Stop by any time
999 Beekman Rd
Hopewell JCT NY 12533
A lot of people miss plants in the garden, but only because they have never seen them before or they are not in bloom, if you stop by keep an eye out for some of the better things.
Sorry this sounds arragant, but I am very proud of my gardens.

Klavier? What time is lunch? :)

Gee, Klavier, I'll have to stop by (with my scissors and my plastic bag) ;)

I don't mind, you would not be the first person to stop in and take a plant or two. I have a lot of new interesting plants. I have really taken advantage of trading and have a lot of small starts of plants. Just recently got into shade gardening as the trees around the property are getting bigger and I am running out of sunny areas. Here are some pics:
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Lovely pictures, I especially love the combination of lambs ear and that particular iris near your walkway. Nice combination. I may try to place some iris near my lambs ear... I can always use a new place to tuck in an iris. Thank you for sharing. I love looking at others gardens, their plant choices for the area and their combinations. One thing I have learned is that a plant in one part of my yard, will perform differently in another....same as for others gardens. I know the work it takes to keep a garden, so I appreciate what each gardener does to maintain theirs.

That comment did sound arrogant, ha ha ha....but some of us know what you mean. I do have many of the flowers that you have in your pictures ( although no Siberian Iris ) but I have to say, I still enjoy looking at what others have done. Even if I have the same flowers, they are different in some ways..and still beautiful that is why I have them in my gardens in the first place. I find it nice to enjoy a garden with the person who planted it..I find I learn something, or I can share something I know. It is always enjoyable to see the fruits of someone else's labor that we share a passion for.

I know some people that garden are the competitive, insecure type. Only want to show what they have done, don't want to admire or compliment other's gardens. Don't want their friends/family to admire other gardens. They feel hurt if someone says another's garden is nice. Ha ha ha, I know someone like that. Actually it is sad. Have you ever met anyone like that? To each, their own, that's what's great about gardening.

I have to say, I haven't taken many pictures this year...last year, a thousand..( new digital camera last year..went crazy and tied up tons of memory...ha ha ha..now they are on disc) klavier, your pictures remind me that I need to take some this year, and not just admire the flowers and foliage as they come and go. I tend to miss them as they pass, for another year. Do you get a little sad when one season for a particular shrub or bulb or perennial is over? Thank goodness there are many more in bud, I finally have abundant flowers from March through October now. I took a few classes on painting my flowers over the winter, so I can enjoy them indoors over the cold months...and I have lots of specimens. Happy Gardening! JoAnn

Wow! Your beebalm is flowering already?...Mine is a few weeks away. My humming birds would surely enjoy that.
What's your recommendation as to whether to dead head them or not. Last year I did, and it seemed like forever until they produced new flowers.
Best,
Bill

Bill, I'm with you, my bee balm is on the verge of opening. It looks like we may be a bit behind the photos above, unless they are from a previous year. I see spring flowering plants in them. Too bad, I love my iris, but they are no longer flowering here. My species lilies open much later, as do my rudbeckia, they are just starting to open. Regarding the monarda: Bill, it depends on the foliage to me. Sometimes the mildew on the leaves has me cutting them back to the ground after flowering. Othertimes, when it still looks good, I'll cut it back about halfway, but you are right, it does seem like it takes forever for a little rebloom. Klavier, what's your suggestion, your's look absolutely beautiful?

I do know people who have better gardens then myself, it does not mean I like them more than my own. I have never just been walking down the street and seen a garden I just have to walk through. People who have a nicer garden than me:
Jerry Murphy - president HVIDS
Bob Savage - The arum man
Bob Keip - Albany iris society - grows nearly every iris in existence
One of the guests at the HVIDS barbeque had an exquisite rock garden - I even got some Iris Tectorum out of the visit.
Just Joey Girl- If you like you can have some siberian iris "Ruffled Velvet" or "Snow Queen" there isn't enough of the I. Virginica or Pac-Sib iris yet.
The beebalm is not currently blooming- it is last years picture. Horse manure is like steroids for the plant, but it becomes a very heavy feeder when it is six feet tall. The plant in the picture was giantic, unfortunately not so tall this year:(
Lets see some other pictures! I probably have the outlook I do because I have not seen enough private gardens. The public gardens tend to be very simple and ill maintaned.

Klavier, thank you for your kind offer of the Siberian Iris...they are lovely. Unfortunately I don't have the moist soil that they require..I have relatively dry soil. I have tried on several occasions to have Siberian Iris, but I have lost them. I would hate to take you up on your offer and then waste them by having them not be happy here and not survive. But, I sure will admire yours, lovely photos. I would love to see more people post photos of their gardens. I'll have to take my camera out and snap a few myself. I have last year's on disc...then I'd have to load them, edit them, host them, then post them... I've been busy, and they are last years. I'll just have to take some new ones. I'll see what I have in my current photobucket album..

Well, yesterday I was working in my garden and a woman was walking her dogs and we started talking about the garden and I know where she lives down the road. I asked if I could come see her's some day..she was quite happy. She said that most people don't understand the work involved or the cost and that it would be nice to share it. So you all were so right! I am going today in a little while. It was unexpected, I hadn't seen her in a while ( she broke her ankle and hasn't been out walking ) she admired some of my ribbon grass and asked about it, I was going to take some out ( it really outgrew the area I have it in ) in the spring...I will divide some of it and bring it to her today. This is so interesting because tomorrow (Sunday), I have been invited someplace very special to see another garden that I am excited about.

So thank you all for encouraging me to ask to see gardens, and to accept an invitation when I get one. JoAnn.

PS. I Hope she has some weeds....I sure do! Ha ha ha..it will make me feel less self conscious when I show anyone mine!

Around here, most people have lawn services and gardeners, none of whom speak English, so it's kind of hard to ask. There are two or three people who do their own work, and we always chat when we see each other out working. The yards are not large (only 1/2 acre) so you can see most of them from the street. This season, I reclaimed a narrow strip alongside the driveway where a couple of trees had to be removed. Man, what a job! I couldn't dig out all of the root systems, but I managed to do a decent job. Since I spend most of the summer working right out by the street, I ended up speaking with everyone who walks by. Apparently, the progress of my garden has become the topic of discussion for the whole neighborhood! I was happy to explain my game plan to anyone who stopped, and I was rewarded by having divisions left on my front stoop by a couple of neighbors. Very nice.

I never thought about asking to tour a garden. I'm basically very shy in general. A couple of people here mentioned that gardening is a great time to be alone, communing with nature and relaxing. I've also found that to be true. I treasure my time in the garden, especially since our world has changed so drastically in the last several years.

We don't have plant thieves, but there are people who recently moved in across the street who seem to think that the back of the yard next to them is fair game for dumping. They are very well aware that the property belongs to someone else because the man grew up in that house, and moved in a few months ago after his father passed away. I don't think that the elderly lady who owns it is aware that this is going on. I thought I'd tell her and offer to put up "Private Property - No Dumping" signs. To confront the people directly might be dangerous - long story. I guess it takes all kinds.

orcuttnyc - your yard is lovely! Very natural, just the way I like it. I don't know what the purple flowers are, but if you ever find out, let us know. They look great with the daisies. I would never take cuttings without permission, but I'm not above pulling alongside one of the local roads and digging up "weeds" on town property. (Not privately owned, that is. I pay taxes, too!) One person's weeds are another person's native wildflowers, I always say! (LOL) But I do know better than to try this on the parkways. Those wildflowers alongside and on the medians of parkways serve a vital purpose in helping to filter noise and pollution. The natives growing on undeveloped land seem to fall below the radar of the local authorities. In fact, I'm not sure which department of government would have jurisdiction over weeds! Happy gardening, all!

orcuttnyc wrote:
"I realize the purple flowers are weeds,..but..they look nice in spring. What are they called?"

If there are four petals on each flower and it has rough-edged leaves, they are probably called Dame's Rocket [Hesperis matronalis] (also known as Sweet Rocket, Dame's Violet, or Mother-of-the-Evening).

If there are five (or even six) petals on each flower and it has smooth-edged leaves, they may be Tall Phlox [Phlox divaricata] (aka Wild Blue Phlox, Woodland Phlox, Wild Sweet William ).

violet~*

Here is a link that might be useful: Dame's Rocket and Woodland Phlox

I think the purple flowers are lunaria...money plant.

Lunaria have a more branched habit and are a bit deeper purple, the picture is definitely 'dames rocket', they do smell wonderful in the evening, they self seed like crazy, (they are currently the major weed problem in my mint bed)

I'm reminded by this thread, my favorite plants are the ones I received from friends or while on searches with friends. Dont know why but I'm usually surprised that everything blooms again each year. The long days of winter are worth it when the first rush of spring arrives. I become absolutely giddy with the thought of it. And then each plant tells it's story. The feverfew and dark purple-blue siberian iris from my neighbor,Mrs Hummel who died 30 years ago, the purple tree peony I had given to Lorraine and then took back when she died and her house was sold, my epimedium rubrum which was probably the first perenial plant I ever bought and which looks fantastic with the small white daffodils. Yup, sounds a bit sentimental but the best part of gardening is the sharing.

I have people stop all the time to talk about the small border I have on the street, I think it is because it has very early bulbs and they start to follow what is coming up and track it all year.
Very often neighbors or passerbys ask to see the rest of the yard and gardens and I have met really nice people this way.
I have not met the not so nice person who came in my yard and cut the tulips or the one who cut my tall alliums one year.
I am part of an White Plains Beautification Foundation and we plant in gardens and containers in White Plains. Every year we have plants stolen or cut ( in broad daylight on the steps of City Hall one year). This year we had the reverse happen, someone added tomatoe, cucumber and pepper plants to one of our flower garden and transplanted the flowers elsewhere.
You never know.

We live in Camden NC but my husband commutes up to Oceana, VA. Fortunately he mostly travels back roads. Due to his job, he's active duty Navy, I sometimes have to take him up there to drop him off. There is a BEAUTIFUL cottage garden on his route. I don't care what time of year I go by this garden, it is always a thing of beauty and magic.

So many times I thought to myself that I should stop and ask for a tour. Finally one day I was driving by and the lady was out working in her yard so I stopped. What a wonderfully sweet lady! She was right in the middle of pruning some roses but she stopped and gave me a tour. And she took her time, no rushing even though I know she had stuff to do.

Not only did this wonderful lady stop and give me a tour but she also sent me home with some plants and seeds. She was ruthless in her handling of the plants she gave me, nearly ripping some right out of the soil. I teased her that I had no doubts the plants would grow because her magical green thumb had touched them.

I brought home the little twigs of things she gave me, potted them up and sure enough everything survived and is now thriving in my garden. I'm convinced it's because she touched them!

I know I'd give someone a tour of my yard if they ever asked. I figure the only people that would stop and ask are those that are really truly interested anyway. No ill intentions.