Wow! Before you plant too much this season, check your drainage. Plants don't rot in dry soil. You are in Bergen County and probably have a soil heavy in clay. Clay does not allow good drainage. To create fertile soil, add top soil and organic matter. Use compost, grass clippings or peat moss.

I know this is a late response but the green worm is a tomato horn worm(bad) and the white things were parasitic wasp cocoons (good) leave it if you see one like that again...if you see one w/o the white cocoons kill it promptly...

Hostas grow a little bigger each year so that one is fine.
Allysum is a fall plant for me. Plant it in spring when it is still cool and water them if they get too dry. As long as you keep it alive all summer, it will bloom nicely in the cooler weather. Mine like rock crevices and such.
Delphinium - yup! That's delphinium. Most of mine do the same thing. I only had two that lasted a few seasons. Foxglove is easier but that one isn't long lived either and can be a biennial or short lived perennial. Penstemon, Adenophora last longer. Some don't like ladybells because they spread but I haven't found it hard to control.Deadhead them.
Butterfly weed - my first attempt died too but now they reseed freely. They often bloom twice so they are very nice.
Iris is slow. They can take years to bloom. Depends on what type they are. Some steadily decline and disappear. Some are ephemeral. Some grow into nice clumps.

LOL - look for tomato hornworm this year before it does too much damage. you'll see small black droppings (poop)then look higher on plant and you'll spot it. If it doesn't have while thingys on its back, toss it on patio; a bird will be grateful.
I would bet your iris is planted too deep. Lift in July , cut back leaves then, and re-set it in ground so that the rhizome is above soil.