Great post Auntie Em.

I am lucky this weekend because I am house and dog sitting for a friend who is down in OKC, so I get to use the puter at my leisure.

I think we all have a story similar to that one.

My main problem with it all is that they don't even make an effort.

I am willing to share whatever I have. But at least make an effort.

Don't drive up to my house, honk your horn and ask if I have any (insert veggie here) then hand me a bag to fill up.

At least have enough respect to get out of the car and talk to me a while. Or help me move that big ol' rock. Or pet one of my dogs. Or acknowledge me when you see me on the street.

Anything.

I am not hard to get along with. Well... sometimes I might be... but I am not totally mean and evil.

Auntie Em,

For as long as I can remember....going back to when I was a very small child, we always carried sacks of tomatoes to church so Daddy could share the bounty of his garden with his non-gardening friends. That continued until Alzheimer's put an end to his gardening when he was in his early 80s. Everyone we knew who had a garden always shared. I have always shared our garden produce the same way my entire life.

I not only share veggies, but fruit and herbs as well, and eggs from our chickens and guineas, and even bouquets of flowers. However, the last couple of years I've begun cutting back on the sharing, especially with people who act as though I "owe" them some of the produce from our garden. I feel kind of mean at times, but not mean enough to go ahead and give them anything.

Sometimes, you know, you give garden-fresh produce to people and they love it and then it inspires them to have a garden of their own. I love that. But, there are other times that you share produce and it basically backfires because those people decide that they don't have to buy groceries any more....they'll just eat yours. Grrrr!

I started getting cranky a few years ago when one of our "old farmer" neighbors starting asking for specific things.....like green beans, or squash, or whatever....and then whined and complained that he and his wife were getting "too old" to cook, and could I cook it for them? Well? No. Did I feel a little bad? No. He had one of his own kids living next door, and another about a mile away, so I just felt like they could cook for him if he needed it. That was probably the beginning of my rebellion against "being nice" and giving anybody anything they wanted from the garden.

I want to emphasize that I still share my produce, but ONLY with the people I genuinely want to share it with, and not with the ones who (as Trubby describes) basically drive up with a bag in their hand that they want filled up.
And, I have several wonderful gardening neighbors who always share their excess with us in the same way that we share our excess with them.

One year we created a garden monster, though. After many years of sharing with a particular family, they planted their own veggie garden. When they showed it to me, I knew we'd have a problem. They had planted only 4 tomato plants (which, of course, really wasn't enough) but had a WHOLE ROW of zucchini. It was a LONG summer because they really, really grew a LOT of zukes and kept bringing us bagfuls and bagfuls. Luckily, they saw the error of their ways and did not overplant the next year.

This year I am only going to share with people who DON'T treat us as though our garden is their free grocery store.

Dawn

I am more then happy to share also, flowers or Veggies, like so many here, I have also ran into the same problems, where people expect you to fill up there bag, I tell them, if they wish for a few, they need to pick them a few.

Last year, I had someone I did not know, never saw in our town.. drive up in our circle drive, sit there for some time, until I walked over & asked her if she needed something or if I could be of help, thinking that she was lost or something.
her reply was, what kind of flowers is that? I told her it was a Lilly, she wanted to know if I could dig it up for her.. I told her no, I just received it that spring and it was the only one I had of that type.
She drove off in a huff.
I thought I would have to become a flower police that year, but I never saw the car again.

A garden is to be enjoyed, too many people will not stop to smell the flowers anymore

My goodness you all have some real stories to tell. And I have also had my share of "sharing" experiences which did not turn out just as I had hoped.
I recall when I was young being rooked into making jelly for some of my in-laws in a sharing experience! lol. And have of course given away produce to find it was not even used or eaten while fresh.
There are all kinds of people in this world but anyone who would just drive up and hold out a bag? Oh my! Or someone who would drive up and ask you to dig up your plants?
Some people have more nerve than sense...lol.

Hello Auntie Em! Welcome to the forum. I just adore your user name! Makes me want to come visit right away! But I won't bring a bag for you to fill...lol.

G.M.

Merryheart, your post reminds me of the time I baked a pecan pie and took to work. It was around Thanksgiving and one lady praised and praised the pie. Said she had never had one and would love to serve pecan pie at her Thanksgiving meal. I offered to make her one if she would buy the ingredients, so she brought a tiny package of pecan bits and a ziplock of sugar and 3 eggs. Then called me at home that night and asked if I would make FOUR pies instead as she had a really big family. I was young and easily swayed by praise and older folks, so I went to the store and got what I needed and stayed up half the night making her pies. She was very grateful, that's always nice, but I can't help thinking that I got praised only as a way to get them pies.

Kirts, the absolute nerve of some people. But be glad she drove away and didn't sneak back and dig up the plant herself. A friend told me a story about how her neighbor came home after a weekend away and found all of his potatos dug up. They didn't even leave him enough to make a meal out of. I also heard a tale of a lady who came home from the hospital to find that all the apples had been picked from her tree.

I have an acquaintance who says she doesn't 'have to break her back in a garden' since she has so many 'friends' who always have more than they need and she just goes and visits them during harvest time. You'll note that I called her an 'acquaintance'.

Trubbadubbadoo, I agree that most folks don't even make an effort. My friends/relatives who live in places where a garden isn't possible seem to realize the work involved and they seem to be genuinely grateful for the fresh goodies that I give them when they visit or when I go to visit them. But there will always be folks who are the grasshoppers of society and thank goodness there are still so many ants around.

Dawn, I have reached the same place in my attitude of who gets what. I'll use that 'hope you can find some at the farmers market' response on the genuine moochers this year. One friend won't take anything from the garden until she has worked in it some. She will come over and help weed, pick bugs, etc. I appreciate her so much. We sometimes can things together and have a wonderful visit as we work. The world needs more folks like that.

Hi Y'all,

Just when I think I've heard it all, Kirts, your lily story just blew my mind!

I know it is very common in urban areas for people to come home and find rose bushes, salvias, etc. just gone....dug up and stolen while they were away. The nerve of some people just amazes me. Not long ago, at a local veterans park, the master gardeners came to the park to work one day and found tons of plants stolen. Who would steal from a park dedicated to veterans? I can't remember what city it was in, but I think somehere in the Sherman-Denison-Durant part of the KXII viewing area.

Auntie Em, I have acquaintances like that too. But, I do have lots of GENUINE friends who truly appreciate receiving goodies from the garden and who DO NOT act as though I owe them a share of the produce. Often, they reciprocate with home-baked goodies, animal manure (straight from their barns) or spoiled hay for the compost pile, etc. Once, a dear neighbor gave us a fresh slab of bacon from a recently processed hog because we gave him fresh tomatoes. Another person with whom I always share tomatoes and flowers always shares his corn, watermelons and apricots with us, and another shares his homemade jams and jellies, salsa and chow chow. It is fun when the sharing is reciprocated.

Dawn

Your stories remind of about 15 or so years ago we had a yard thief in town. He would go around stealing people's outdoor plants, RIGHT OUT OF THE GROUND! He also stole yard statues and figures. He got mine that summer! I suddenly noticed that my angel my dad had given me was gone along with a few other small garden figures.

We went on a trip to South Carolina not long after and while we were away my sister heard on the news about this thief and told my son. He called and reported the things I was missing. About a week or so later they heard on the news that they had caught the guy and had confiscated most of his loot and you could come to the police station and identify it and get it back. When we got home all my things were back home again.

That guy had a yard full of bushes and shrubs and small trees as well all kinds of garden statuary he had stolen.
It takes all kinds doesn't it? About the time I think I have heard it all I am suprised at yet another story.

Oh dear Auntie Em! I am so sorry you were taken advantage of so badly by that woman. I was always like to though, if anyone would give me some praise or recognition I would do nearly anything for them. Well I am not so nice in my old age I tell ya.....lol.

Kirts it is a wonder that lady didn't come back and just get your lily. I am glad she didn't.

Dawn I heard that on the news too about someone stealing plants at that veterans park. I do think it was Sherman or Denison. It is just shocking what people will do.

I must get off here and stay off, and try to go get productive. I think I am very lazy today. More so than usual even. I guess I can't get very motivated until I see the heart doc this afternoon and hear what he has to tell me...ugh.

Ya'll have a wonderful day!
We have wind but we have sunshine too so it can't be all bad....lol.

G.M.

I had a hollyhock stolen out of my yard last year and it was the second year it had grown there (and thus, it was going to flower that year). It was sad to lose it because the ones from the year before had been torn up by neighborhood kids (including my own, so I'm not blaming). I gave those kids a lecture and tracked down every one of them so they didn't do it again, then the next year someone digs up the whole (and only) plant to come up in that area!

Luckily that was all in the "alley strip" and the stuff behind my privacy fence that no one else could see was fine, so I still had lots of seeds.

Someone took one of my pumpkins that grew out there too. I'm pretty sure that was the trash collection service. I resolved that next year I'd grow Jack-Be-Smalls out there so losing a couple wouldn't be as bad. Since they're in the alley, I realize it's easy for picking. No one bothered my sunflowers or green beans there, though.

That was in St. Paul and this year's garden will be in Oklahoma in a new addition with a hugely lower amount of traffic. So much more likely that theft won't be a big issue.

I have mostly nice neighbors. One brings me catfish and bass. One brings we chili and jerky everytime he makes it. One can fix anything in the world and is always ready with a helping hand (even brings his own powertools). Even the teenage boy that just moved in came today to see if I wanted him to burn the limbs I had piled up. One neighbor is only here on weekends and we sometimes chat over the back fence.

The one at the other end of the back fence has a big pile of shreded trees from last year that surely would make good mulch, but if I got any of that, it would mean I would have to talk to him, ugh. I did, however, go out and clean the area behind my storage sheds so I could weedeat this year. I didn't move the pile of broken rock and concrete that he had shoveled over onto my property, but I did take the landscape timber he had thrown there and built a little separation of the property lines with it (and the utility pole that was thrown there). Then having clearly marked the border, I threw about a dozen of his fence post back into his yard. Before he moved there, I could mow the area. Last year we couldn't even get in there with the weed eater because of all of HIS junk. You think he will get the picture this year? I am not being a nice neighbor.

For my garden produce, I feel I have been fully paid, but it seems I am still asked to bring food to an awfully lot of things. HA. I make a mean loaf of whole wheat bread and a pretty good pecan pie too.

I try to feed and care for my neighbors when they are sick. Help them when I can, etc. But as you can see, I am a SELECTIVE good neighbor. I can be a mean old broad whenever I choose too, and sometimes I choose too. And there!.

That just gets my goat! My grandparents live in Hydro and they have 5-6 Apple trees and neighbors. Well, a few years ago, when they had all that rain? They had WAY TOO MANY apples, and offered them some. Then, the next year they had to go away for a few weeks during harvest, and when they returned, every single tree was BARE!!!! NOT A SINGLE APPLE WAS LEFT!!! A few months later, her "neighbors" were selling apple jelly at their garage sale!!!!

Dawn,
I think that was in Sherman,
they never did say what type of plants where dug up, but from the photos they showed.. and being under shade I have to wonder if it wasn't hostas that where dug up..

I am more then happy to dig up plants for anyone, as long as I have babies or the plant needs to be thinned, I am not going to dig up the only plant I have and just give it away. lol

If they are going to steal, they should at least leave some apples behind!!!
Apple Jelly....... I would be smoking out of my ears!

I guess the problem is worse then I thought, I did not know this was so wide spread....

When I was a kid my great grandmother had an orchard that bore wonderful fruit. She had one apple tree that she especially loved. Well, one day this family drove up and asked if they could pick the apples that had fallen on the ground. My great grandmother felt for them, as there were several children and she had them drive down to the orchard and we went with them. She told them that they could pick the apples from any tree there, and also some concord grapes that were ready, but not to take the ones from the one tree that she made apple butter from. She even gave them poles to help get the apples out of the tree. Then we walked on back to the house. Pretty soon, the car drove out of the orchard and by the house. They honked and waved and the man hollered thanks as they went on their way. Later than evening we went walking down by the orchard and discovered that not only had they picked every apple they could find, but had taken the ones she asked them not to and besides that they had broken the limbs on many of the trees and left the gate open so the cows were in the orchard and trampling the grape vines. It's one of the few times I saw her mad.