Perhaps a lighter wood color such as Min Wax Golden Oak. Perhaps a shade darker. Think I used a gel stain from Pratt & Lambert that was a "fruitwood". It looked good as my cabinets were a white wash with a fruitwood color floor. Different brands, even though they have the same name are not the same color. Get a few scraps of wood and experiment with them first.

Lighter on floor or Cabs?
I feel like with a small kitchen I don't want the cabs to loom over me so would prefer to the cabs be lighter than the floor. But since I don't want to cover up the white oak I'm sort of screwed. I'd have to keep the red oak natural or very light - and see the pink.
Unfortunately I can't afford white oak cabs too and white oak is so much better for floors. ARGH

If you are worried about the red oak showing pink then use the darker stain on it. If you use the white on the red oak then the pink will probably be present.

A good deal of the pink cast will also disappear if you use an oil based poly finish. The slight yellow color tends to mask out the pink.
Remember that repairs become more difficult with stained wood.

You can buy small cans of Minwax stain---8 ounce size----for about $3 a can. Buy several cans---there is usually a color chart by the stain section that shows the colors on pine and red oak----of the color you like and try them out on scraps.

You can buy a red oak board at the Borgs along with the stain---and the flooring will have some scraps.

Test the stains---and the finishes you want to use---as those could be different-----and find the combinations you like.

It will make you much happier to spend $40 and a couple hours now and get exactly what you want later.

This is just a thought. If you want your red oak cabinets to look like white oak you can use the 2 part wood bleaching system which will take out the red color in the red oak. Be very careful to bleach evenly though and then sand down after.

Two part wood bleaching system will remove the color from red oak. However, then you may need to add back some color to get the look you're after.

This two part wood bleach is an extremely dangerous substance and should only be used with the utmost of caution!

We have white oak kitchen cabinets with a very light stain. Our house was originally built with white oak floors, which we thought were red oak. We had to replace quite a few boards and we used red oak so now we have a red and white oak floor (definitely by accident). I'm with you on the white oak being nicer. Despite the efforts of our floor refinisher, the red oak still has a pinkish cast to it. In order to make the white and red oaks really blend, we would have had to go with darker stain on the floor, which we didn't want.

Have you checked local cabinet makers for prices for white oak cabinets. We found that some could only get red oak and others could only get white oak. The guy who could only get white oak wasn't any more expensive than the guy who could only get red oak.