Depending on the look you require I would seriously consider Benjamin Moore's Flower Pot CC-96 or red point sand CC-126 and remove the chair rail!. If you do go with a colour like this make sure you are using an eggshell or at the most, pearl sheen. If you do not wish a bold colour but wish a warm kitchen you could consider a warm cream. Other considerations, a grayed blue, such as Benjamin Moore's Mt. Rainier Gray 2129-60. Personally, I think the red colours that I suggested would be lovely, especially if you get rid of all the wall paper, border and chair rail.

Best of luck!

thank you for your suggestions...been looking on Benjamin Moores website at the colors you suggested...really like them. The removal of the wall paper is my birthday gift to myself! I HATE it. We bought the house from my mother in law and have been slow to make changes so as not to hurt feelings, but it is time! Will have to sell the husband on the chair rail idea, but I am all for it. He helped his dad and grandpa cut and stain it 20+ years ago. My suggestion is to never buy the home your husband grew up in, they don't think anything needs to change!

Should I use the farmhouse border in the picture above and where would you suggest I place it (above cupboards or where chair rail is)?

Jhartle, If you are removing the existing wallpaper and border, I would hesitate to put up the new farm themed border. I searched "wallpaper borders" on houzz and came up with very few results...they are just not a popular design choice these days. Once you get your fresh coat of paint up, why not try your hand at a fun stencil to liven up your kitchen dining area?

Just a suggestions...borders have been out for ages...stencils too. People are now adding patterns in their backsplash. Try to keep it clean....paintings, placematts, a centerpiece on your table can add iterest that you can easily change...if you use a deep colour as suggested you will not need extras. Best of luck on this....it is challenging when the house has a personal history, your husband is fortunate you are so sensitive.

Since the chair rail was a sentimental family project for your husband, could you keep it as you personalize your kitchen? I see ways to update and incorporate more modern touches of red and kitchen chickens.

The chair rail has a history with your husband. If you try to make too many changes too fast, it's not going to make for a happy husband. My suggestion would be to paint the chair rail with a glossy paint color, the same color that you choose for the walls. It's a reasonable compromise.

I have taken down part of the chair rail and I'm removing the paper. The rails I am marking in case we decide to still use them....Hubby is at work and hasn't seen yet! I don't know if I should paint all of the walls the same ( it is only 91/2 feet wide) or if I should paint different colors or similar colors just a shade lighter or darker. There are some samples that I saved in my idea book under kitchen and current kitchen if anyone wants to look... I am leaning towards either red or sage green, I also really liked the look in the faux painted harliquin that Janie Brown posted. I also love fall colors and have a clay brick fireplace in living room and sunflowers throughout the house... can you tell this is my first attempt at decorating....Good thing this wallpaper is slow to remove....keep writing your suggestions, I appreciate it and I am considering all suggestions!

OMG lots of color choices to choose from. But I like a soft sage green, it's very calming and warm. Another would be for your husband maybe a Dover white its white with a dash of yellow oxide for a warm creamy white. Could add the warm softness you are looking for and or not be to much of a drastic change for him. (try to talk him into the sage green though) good luck

Also stay with a low sheen Eggshell would washable and very lite to no sheen or if you want more ease of cleaning Satin would be the highest sheen I would go

I love wood but I think you are correct in painting out the oak trim... but like i was telling another poster... sometimes when men dont want wood painted what they really mean is they are afraid everything is going to be too girly for their tastes. But It may be just sentimental in this case since he worked on it.

I think it was Jeff Lewis who did a similar show. Couple had bought a house from the family. The grandma or aunt wasnt deceased but infirm at a nursing home. The husband not only couldnt make decorating changes, he wouldnt even clear out old furniture and things that were obviously trash. The wife couldnt use storage in one room because there Aunt somebodies 40 year old underwear in it.

If you get new flooring chances are the baseboards will have to come up. That would be a good time to paint those since they might be scratched and dinged after. You could slowly move up from there. If you can get one bit painted the others will follow

Try to keep to one colour in the kitchen...it is calmer. Red and green give such different feelings...red stimulates appetite and is very warm...sage green is lovely and calm...and actually they say green does the opposite for appetite....I once read if you want to decrease appetite put a green table cloth on your table.

Nice fabric - The farm theme border you have chose is rather dated and will likely date the kitchen too. Why not add a nice bead board 3/4's up the wall ? (remove the dated rail) Pull the lovely beige colour from the fabric and paint the bead board that same colour. The remaining 1/4 of the wall you can go either a shade lighter or a shade darker than the bead board or choose red /green or cloud/white. Perhaps, gently tell your husband to get over this being "the" family home and it is now your home. ( and his, of course) If your budget allows replace the cupboard doors to a white ( when your husband is at work) lol or paint white and add some nice hardware. Good luck with the project. Do share pictures once finished.

Ahhhhhh, I see your husband is attached to the chair rail. It can be removed and preserved. Use it as a trim at the top of the bead board.

jhartle, if you type modern country kitchen in the Houzz search engine you will find some great ideas there.

I think it might have helped if you took your husband through some model homes first for "ideas" that way he would find out for himself what was in. After you see new decor, you are ready for a change. Border is out as the others have said.

OK People...decided sage is not going to be the main color, I want something bolder! Border is out and I can always return the valances! Chair rail is down! Still have it but out of sight, out of mind!! What do you think of SW 6615 peppery with SW 7736 Garden Sage and SW7675 Sealskin. This is a reddish/orange with dark gray and a sage....Also like the rustic red, however the peppery is brighter. Different DR chairs, paint bar stools, change out hard ware and paint or new outlet covers....Thoughts or other ideas....basically a clean slate except for the oak cupboards and window trim! The trim is the same throughout the entire house....I am not up to changing it!

I personally like oak cabinets. However, I would tend to turn away from darker colors or the kitchen will read as "dark". I have in the rooms of my house, with oak cabinets throughout, these colors and I love them all: Sherwin Williams Buckram Binding (golden beige-living, halls, studio); Jersey Cream (very soft creamy yellow-master & bath); Believable Buff (beige with sage undertone-guest room); Studio Green (one wall in our studio, the other 3 are Buckram Binding; coordinates with upholstery). The dining is Glidden's Lily Pond that coordinates with some backsplash tile in the kitchen (solid whites with a few solid greens and wildflower accent tiles).

I also absolutely love my S-W June Berry that we painted the "breakfast nook" that we use as a sitting area with 2 loveseats, 2 bookshelves, 2 lamps with tables, and an area rug that incorporates all the colors in the house (wines,greens,beiges,blues). I have wall art that also has all my colors and my upholstery all brings in all the colors.

Remove the ceiling fan fixure and replace with a dramatic fixture, get some bold art work, update the table linens and maybe a bold rug with colors you can pull paint colors from. Maybe paint/distress the chairs and/or table to lighten the space.

Update the wainscot by just adding batten boards and painting an accent color, works every time. My powder bath was my "sunflower" theme: bright yellow top wall; bright blue painted wainscot lower wall, with small red/yellow/blue rug that matched, and I hung sunflower pictures and my chicken pictures in red frames; a small shelf above the toilet kept additional small sunflower/chicken themed items.

Good luck and enjoy

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Oh I think bead board on the lower half of your chair moulding you could get the natural and stain it just a little warmer than the chair mould or get it and paint it white(which I would do) not painting the oak would add the second accent and because the kitchen isn't real wide I would stay in the off whites antique or even creamy white

Pick up red or blue carpets hand towels these things will help you bring out your border colors

Wow! You have lots of help. I see that you like French county. My suggestion would be that you take the beautiful color of the sunflowers and tone them down to a soft golden white and paint the kitchen and the dining area in this color. I don't think any one would be offended by white and the warm tones in the white should satisfy your French country heart and warm up the room a little bit. The chair rail could stay for now. Instead of actually using the border I would use it for inspiration. Use the red and golden yellow tones with blue accents in other ways. Paintings on the walls, table clothes, chair cushions. Speaking of chairs could you paint them yellow or one of the great colors you love? How about changing out the hardware on the cabinets? How about fabric blinds for your windows with a reversible print? That way when they are drawn up the reverse side shows? You could use a country scene on one side and plaid on the other, or consider introducing the black and white of the cow. Study French country, especially kitchens and pull ideas you love into the room. Eventually you might convince him to make larger changes. In the mean time have fun and try to get some of what you love into that kitchen right away.

can paint the chairs, not sure how...There is 20 years of grime built up on them...I have 8 total with 2 needing repaired..I tried removing stain/varnish from broken ones to "practice"..wasn't a good result...wanted to get some new chairs that aren't so bulky and these are very heavy chairs, the kids can barely move them...but that is another discussion entirely....heading back to get more paint strips, saw SW "willow tree" or "bakelite gold" on the computer....and probably some neutral strips also (creams, antique white, etc). I'll keep checking back, this is a slow project because I'm working around my 3yr old twins, my 5 and 9 yr old as well as maintaining the home. So please keep posting!

Some inspiration for you. I know that these kitchens don't look anything like yours, but there are some elements in each you might like.