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Garden Resolution you will never keep!

Teresa_MN
17 years ago

I noticed at the top of the hosta forum page a question "Which Garden Resolution will you never keep?"

The link took me to another forum that had a number of hilarious posts.

So - here we are in February - itching to get out in the yard and making all kinds of plans for what we're going to do different this year.

So here a few of mine:

I will weed everyday it's not raining so it doesn't seem like such a big deal.

I will have the beds prepared BEFORE I order any more hostas.

I am going to plant those seeds I collected last fall.

I'm going to photograph all my beds, label them with the plant names and have a top notch organizational system like Papou does. lol

Fess up. What big plans do you have that you know will probably fall through?

Teresa

Comments (29)

  • ken_adrian Adrian MI cold Z5
    17 years ago

    I WILL STAY WITHIN MY BUDGET!!!!! .... rotflmbo ... ken

  • mctavish6
    17 years ago

    I especially like the idea of not ordering any more hostas until you have a place to put them - HA!!!. Yesterday I counted up the ones I've ordered and the others that I will order when the nursery puts their 2007 list up. It was well over 50 (my limit for the last two years). I decided I wouldn't be tempted and that was IT for this year. Last night I stumbled (was guided?) to another nursery that ships to Canada for a reasonable amount. My list with them is 30. It's hopless really. mct

  • ademink
    17 years ago

    McT...the more I know you...the more I know you and I truly DO have a lot in common. LOL

  • hostaholic2 z 4, MN
    17 years ago

    I absolutely, positively will not buy any more plants, hostas or others until we build our new house in a couple of years.

  • caliloo
    17 years ago

    Actually, I can't think of any. I don't like to disillusion myself this early in the year so I don't make any resolutions.

    ROFL!

    Alexa

  • greenguy
    17 years ago

    maybe i won't start a new project until i finish the first


    yea right - when i get a good idea i start

  • mctavish6
    17 years ago

    Greenguy, we should compare "unfinished Projects" around our homes. I bet I'd win. My husband is a great starter but not much of a finisher! Between the two of us, it's hopeless.

    Andrea, Wouldn't it be nice if we could swap Montanas and others? I ordered the Pycn.... the other day. I'd decided against the "new"(to me) nursery until my sister said she'd heard someone say how nice their plants were. I'm back to "yes" on that one. How many have you ordered so far?
    Mct

  • FlowersForMyFarm
    17 years ago

    Resolution: I will stop referring to the extra money in the budget as the "hosta fund." (Truth: That does not mean that I will stop using it as the hosta fund however)

    Resolution: I will only make a "few" hosta purchases this year while I continue work on my expansion and putting down the two remaining huge piles of mulch that I have sitting out there. (Truth: I said the same thing last year and I made it until June and after one pile of mulch was gone I just had to get my hosta fix - if I can do that good again this year I'll be pleased)

    Resolution: I'm going to make sure and get one or two hostas this year that have been on my dream list for a few years now but are a bit pricey. (Truth: I say this every year and then get distracted by too many other hostas and then feel too guilty to spend the money to get the dream hostas - but maybe, just maybe, I'll keep this one....eventually...I hope)

  • User
    17 years ago

    LOL, too, too funny. I, hostabuff, promise to...

    1. I will only buy plants if I have a home for them!
    2. I will be ruthless -- trimming back invasive plants I love and throwing out the excess because I have NO MORE ROOM (don't be horrified as I may actually keep this resolution).
    3. I will start my much needed tree and shrub screen/bones project instead of just talking about it as I have for the last seven years (just think how much those trees would have grown).
    4. I will remove all the maples from my yard.
    4. I will not weed after work in a skirt, just pant suits!
    5. I will not care what my neighbors think when I am filthy from head to toe with my hair flying wildly behind my white stretch headband after a day in the garden (like they really care anyway).

  • ademink
    17 years ago

    McT...I think I should privately email you how many I've ordered. roflol!!! I'm embarrassed to post it!

  • lynxe
    17 years ago

    I won't buy even one more plant unless I have space for it in the garden. Container planting is fine, but 100+ pots of daylilies and hostas is NOT attractive.

  • bunnycat
    17 years ago

    I desperately need to stop buying sun/part sun plants for my gardens. My part sun is simply not enough. They rarely thrive, and most often slowly slip away from lack of good light. I should know better by now, and don't handle guilt well.

    (this will leave me more money for hostas too. yay.)

  • i_dig_it
    17 years ago

    Not to buy more plants unless I have room for them seems to be the most popular resolution....
    I already broke that one, lol.

    Stay within my budget?....What budget?

    And most other resolutions that have already been posted, those are mine also.
    It's been fun reading AND relating to each and every one!

    Janet

  • hosta_freak
    17 years ago

    I don't have a problem with places to put them,so that resolution doesn't work for me. My resolution is to buy more plants that are different,and not because it's one I don't have! In other words,be more selective. That will last until I get to a nursery this spring!lol! Phil

  • gardenfanatic2003
    17 years ago

    Last year, after completely redoing 3 beds (we're talking about digging up all the plants, and they were well established with huge root systems, then replanting them elsewhere), I swore I'm never redoing another bed!! It's too damn much work! I told myself I'll just have to live with it if I don't like how it looks. Well, guess what... I've decided to redo 2 other beds this year! What a short memory!!

    Every year I say "I'm not starting this many seeds next year!" Then somehow, I end up with more seedlings every year. I think every seed company in North America knows this, so they all send me their catalogs.

    Every year I say, "I'm not buying so many plants that I can't get them all in the ground before it gets hot!" And guess what... I've got plants sitting around in pots that still need to be planted in September.

    Every year I decide to mulch all my beds so they'll hold moisture better so I don't have to water so much and won't have so many weeds, but only half my beds at any one time have mulch on them.

    Last year I decided I had enough hostas and didn't need to spend any more money on them, but so far I've ordered 12, and that's why I'm redoing one of the beds I'm doing this year.

    I'm sure if I think for a couple minutes, I could come up with many more!

    Deanna

  • hosta_freak
    17 years ago

    Today,while rummaging in my woodland garden,I discovered another one I said I wouldn't do. I began pushing aside leaves looking for eyes,even though I said to myself I would wait until they pushed up through the leaves! Well,I found some!! Wolverine,with at least 9 big eyes,hidden under the leaves. And also Morning Light,starting to show eyes,and also Lunar Eclipse! Just what I need this time of year,to see some of my last year's efforts. Phil

  • bunnycat
    17 years ago

    Phil~

    I am so J-E-A-L-O-U-S !!!

    No eyes here, we are still buried under snow.

    ~Bunnycat

  • jimnoak
    17 years ago

    I resolve to never again steal starts from hostas that my lake cabin neighbor has.

    I resolve that I will likely do that anyway, and that I'll still tease my wife about her small breasts.

    I resolve that maybe the hostas I started from seed this winter will soon come back to life. You see... my hostas under lights didn't fare too well after God decided we needed a loss of power and a devastating ice storm. I forgive my wife for having small ones. I'm not so well endowed myself especially in the cold, and we've been happily married for 34 years in spite of ourselves.

    I resolve to never again lose sleep so I can catch those slugs on my hostas and murder them in an angry way. From now on I'll kill them with poison like a half normal person.

    I resolve to never once again use a squirt bottle and put dirty oil under every oil pan on a Harley ridden by a threatening "tough man" who really doesn't worry me much. Soon he will have that bike torn down and won't even know that there never was a problem except for me. He'll be at a loss for transportation.

    I resolve to live long enough to see my "Sum and Substance" hostas get big, and I will let my lake neighbor steal from me. No.... I won't do that, but he will do it anyway.

    I resolve to be a better man next year. That cannot happen of course, because I am a hosta thief and bad to the bone according to some folks.

    jim

  • micke
    17 years ago

    I resolved NOT to push the leaves aside either this year (that was another person in my garden this afternoon doing that very thing I swear!)
    I resolve to get my gardens organized, no more tulips, daylilies, iris and what in the world is that? coming up all tangled.
    I am proud to say there is only hosta in my hosta beds though (as I am placing my foot over the tulip that is coming up where a hosta is so you can't see it, thought I got all those buggers moved)
    I resolve to plan where I am going to plant my hosta, instead of walking around with a shovel in one hand and six hosta or so in the other, until I decide this is the spot (usually takes a minimum of 6 trips around the house)
    I resolve to do no more impulse buying at the wrong time of the year (well I guess I already blew that one for the year)
    I wanted to add another one that Jim made me think of but...... I won't:)

  • Janice
    17 years ago

    I resolve to buy no more whiskey barrels--enough is enough!! ??

    I resolve to not be tempted by any new hosta, I have enough already!

    I will not obsess about whether I have nematodes or not!

    I resolve not to check out the Forum every other hour!

    I resolve not to resolve to do anything I won't carry through with!

    janice

  • bunnycat
    17 years ago

    I also need to stop buying duplicates of hostas that I love. I'm running out of room, and won't be able to buy "new" ones if I don't stop buying doubles (and triples etc.) It's easy to pass up duplicates in catalogs, but very hard to pass up a gorgeous favorite hosta in person, at a garden store, especially if it's on sale, and bigger than what I have at home.
    ~Bunnycat

  • caliloo
    17 years ago

    "I resolve to never once again use a squirt bottle and put dirty oil under every oil pan on a Harley ridden by a threatening "tough man" who really doesn't worry me much. Soon he will have that bike torn down and won't even know that there never was a problem except for me. He'll be at a loss for transportation.

    OMG I haven't literally laughed out loud that hard in a looooooooong time!!!

    I am sooooooooooooooo going to borrow this idea ROFL!!!!!!!

    Alexa

  • Teresa_MN
    Original Author
    17 years ago

    I'll tell you what had me rolling on the floor.......the mention in 3 places of the size of body parts!

    GASP!!!!!!!!! Surely this is OT - which BTW in this case could mean off topic or over the top! lol

    Teresa

  • ademink
    17 years ago

    roflol...what a hysterical post...so wrong and so funny...hahaha

  • nvteecy
    17 years ago

    Budget? Between the native plants, new hostas and bird seed, my hubby already knows he will spend his summer eating "beans and weenies"....

    That "Hardley" thing is FUUUUNNY!

  • indyrose
    17 years ago

    "I resolve to never once again use a squirt bottle and put dirty oil under every oil pan on a Harley ridden by a threatening "tough man" who really doesn't worry me much. Soon he will have that bike torn down and won't even know that there never was a problem except for me. He'll be at a loss for transportation."

    My co-workers did something like this to my boss' new Yamaha -- instead of oil, though, they left rice.

    Indyrose

  • jimnoak
    17 years ago

    Clearly you couldn't have been laughing at MY resolutions, and it couldn't have been ME that got off topic... so Ill forgive everyone with a sneaky grin. About that bad habit of mine toward fixing dangerous men on Harleys... I suggest that you go about this practice VERY carefully, and never admit to it like I did. I am now thinking of opening a Harley repair shop for troubled, whimpering, tattooed men in tears. All I'd need for tools is a rag and some soap.

    I digress.... this IS a Garden Resolution forum is it not? Now I have added a few more resolutions, since winter has passed and my wife and my dog finally thawed.

    I resolve to never adopt another stray dog, or get married again. My wife's eyes rolled up in her head on the night when I brought my latest dog Sadie home. I was sent to the store for milk and brought home a dog. I forgot the milk. It was a bad omen from the start. Sadie immediately ran gleefully around my back yard with a huge hibiscus in her mouth.

    Since my wife now says that Sadie is the sweetest animal she's ever met... Sadie and Karen (my wife) are inseparable. I resolve NOW to get another dog of my own instead of a new wife.

    I resolve that MY new dog won't eat my hostas or use them as play-toys like Karen's bad dog Sadie.

    I will stop ruing the fact that Karen snores. She has been my one and only wife for some 34 years and I do love her within limits. I will NOT bury her on some dark night in my garden.

    I will stop complaining even when Karen's tiny little cat stops purring on her lap and comes to shred my arms and legs. Karen named her Callie. I just call her the h**l b*tch. I DO resolve to bury HER in my garden. The sickening part is that Sadie actually adores the h*ll b*tch... and is unsure of ME!

    I will no longer draw chalk body outlines on my driveway and spread religious pamphlets in my garden. I almost promise.

    I WILL keep this resolution however: I'll plant gardens, and I'll stop telling my 86 year old Mother she has the wrong number when she calls at a bad time.

    When we really think about it, resolutions are fun... but gardening takes lasting patience and HOPE. That's why I grow things. It simply seems safer than messing with Harley guys or the h*ll b*tch.

    jim

  • hostahaveum
    17 years ago

    I hostahavum resolve to stop checking my hosta baby seedlings every time my dh wants to have a deep meaningful conversation.As he threatened to have a hosta tattooed on his forehead this morn so, I would pay more attention to him, poor guy. :) Dot

  • ademink
    17 years ago

    Jim, howling w/ laughter...LOVE THEM!!! Especially the chalk outlines. roflol

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