What exactly is going to be red?

If you google " gray and white kitchen" you should be able to find about a million of them. Currently, everyone wants one. In addition, most of them have the same bar pulls. It should be easy.

Beverly the red is all the accessories of the kitchen i.e grey white red hand towels, red blender, kitchen aid, coffee maker, etc. the theme color essentially of all my kitchen tools!

Grapefruit--I have googled them all! I'm debating between the two, I can't pick one that would look best. I have the vaulted ceiling above the kitchen and the dining area. I don't want it to look dark or closed in.

First, paint the soffit, bridge & ceiling bright white in a FLAT finish. I hope you are not painting the walls in a semi gloss finish. Switch to eggshell for the walls

I would not keep the blue of the walls. It makes the oak appear too orange.

Below is the color I was trying to show in the photo, but the color was altered because of the yellow of the oak.

That plywood front for your peninsula is not attractive. I would face it with battens to create more interest and then paint over the plywood and the battens.

That's a great idea for the peninsula, it is SUPER ugly :). The pics don't have the best lighting. The top piece above the kitchen is white and the walls are actually a light grey. The pics make it look like it has a blue tint for sure, but it doesn't. Thanks for actually putting color to the cabinets in my picture, that was definitely helpful.