Wow....I think you'll find a lot of people who will tell you they love soapstone in their kitchen. Do a quick search in the comments section to find other posters talking about it.

The beautiful thing about soapstone is you can seal it or not. I've never heard anyone complaining about staining. It will last a lifetime and in my opinion you can't beat the look and feel of it. I will have some in my kitchen at some point - its a matter of when not if. I love it. And there are many colours and varieties as well. Some may be less prone to staining than others.

If the soapstone scares you off, you can find some granites that look like soapstone (Virginia Mist) ....or there are some quartz products made to mimic the look of soapstone - Silestone Charcoal soapstone for example.

Don't let one opinion drive you away from something you love. Do some research and take a sample piece home if you can and test it with different things like wine, tomato sauce etc to see if it does stain badly and how easily it cleans up.

From houzz: "SOAPSTONE PRO / Vine Properties: They do not stain - completely impervious. The mineral oils are used to accelerate the darkening (oxidation process), but are not required. Super heat resistant. It can get scratched, but you can usually remove marks with very light grit sand paper and a little mineral oil."

Farmhouse Kitchen · More Info

https://www.houzz.com/photos/farmhouse-kitchen-farmhouse-kitchen-austin-phvw-vp~351916

Virginia Mist is gorgeous! Thank you for your advice, I'll keep looking at comments and other questions!

And that soapstone counter is beautiful too...decisions are HARD.

Soapstone is classic and there are many threads here on why some of us love it. https://www.houzz.com/magazine/soapstone-counters-a-love-story-stsetivw-vs~27991463

Carter Republic House · More Info

Thank you-the more I read, the more I think the oiling and upkeep aren’t for us. And sanding to get out hard water stains...I have a bunch of kids and pets, not a lot of time. I appreciate all the input!

"The beautiful thing about soapstone is you can seal it or not."

That statement is INCORRECT. One of the advantages of soapstone is that it is impervious to stains. It should NOT be sealed. If you sealed it, the sealant would not absorb and would sit on the stone surface and cause haze and streaks.

Soapstone is beautiful and has a feel to it like no other counter. Some people oil it, so that it's quite dark, and some people leave it "au naturel" so it has a more grayish tone. Perhaps Mvcanada was thinking of oiling, not sealing, in her comment. Whether oiled or not, either way is gorgeous.

It should be noted that soapstone, like granite, comes in a lot of different varieties. Appearance-wise, some soapstones have a lot of visible veining, some have almost none. Some are more black, some are more charcoal, some have a green tint. Most importantly, some are softer than others. The ones that are softer tend to scratch and chip more easily, but soapstone lovers look at that as patina and shrug. The ones that are harder can still scratch and chip, but not as easily. These can be buffed out, if you want to bother. Your stoneyard which is providing the soapstone should be able to tell you which ones are harder and which are softer.

You don't seal soapstone. And you don't have to oil it. Now, if you've gotten oily spills on it, it will darken it, and oiling it all over will even that out. But it's probably one of the lowest maintenance counters available. It's used in chemistry labs because it does not etch, stain, or react with even strong acids and bases. Heck, I had a student set it on fire, once. No damage.

It will occasionally pick up scratches and chips. For those that love it, this is a patina that adds to its charm over the years.

If you want a surface that can take abuse and settle into its environment like it's been there for decades and will be there for decades more, it's a great choice.

If you want something that continues to look shiny and new forever, not a great choice. But I don't know of anything that will continue to look showroom fresh if used regularly.

^^The above post wonderfully explains soapstone. I'm confused on all the statements about the maintenance and work involved regarding cleaning. Soap and water work great! I don't even wax mine anymore. The only issue in my opinion (that you have to deal with) is whether you want a surface that doesn't always look perfect--it can be blotchy at times with the oils and such. However, if that does bother you, then you can always oil/wax. We have a harder variety so have no issues with scratches/dents. It is a beautiful, warm surface and not for everyone, but there is no denying its natural beauty. Here is mine; we have absolutely no regrets.

I think maintenance is probably not the correct term. I think it comes down to the type of personality one has and whether one wants a look that is pristine or one that is slightly aged.

There are numerous threads on soapstone and one analogy which I think makes sense is whether you are the kind of person who is comfortable in wrinkled linen/well worn jeans versus someone who likes crisp well ironed stuff.

There are many materials that have the same issues in terms of whether your personality type is relaxed and essentially likes the living nature or patina or whether it will drive you crazy. For my kitchen, for example, I opted for a large copper farmhouse sink with a living patina - as it is used the surface changes but it is never and was never intended to be a shiny copper surface.

Similarly, many people would be unhappy with marble because marble develops a patina as it etches. Those who accept it don't care - they just think of it as having the same aesthetic as a 100 year old brasserie counter. There are those who it would drive crazy and for them a surface like quartz or Neolith makes sense. Whatever speaks to you so long as you know going into it how the material is going to be in real life as it is inevitably subjected to normal wear and tear.

I have Albemarle Soapstone in my kitchen and bathroom. I really like it - it's a local stone for us and I think that is kind of neat. Our kitchen is more rustic and not open floorplan and I can walk out of my kitchen, shut the door and not think about spots on the counter etc. If I had an open plan, or a more finished style I do not think Soapstone would work so well for me.

Here is my kitchen

https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/2866742/kitchen-update#n=28

I have two friends who adored the soapstone countertops they put in their houses.

If you're looking for totally maintenance free, consider Glacier White Corian. It does not stain (if someone leaves the raspberry carton on it all night and it leaked, or spills curry with lots of Tumeric, just use a ScotchBrite pad and stain will disappear immediately). It does not water spot. It can be cleaned with any spray cleaner or soap and water or even just a damp paper towel. No, one cannot put a hot skillet straight from the stove on it, but that's true of most surfaces.

I have pets and my late husband was messy. I have two grandsons who are in my kitchen regularly (and in their own with the same countertops). Mine are now nearly 34 years old and look as good as the day they were installed.

You will hear people say that white countertops "show all the dirt". Well, it IS your kitchen and food is being prepared here, so perhaps it's a GOOD THING to know if one's countertops are filthy so they can be cleaned! Dust on a table does not offend me but I want my kitchen and my bathrooms CLEAN!

I have soapstone and marble and I love them both. I would never consider quartz, though I am a Glacier White Corian fan after having lived with those counters for 20 years (Corian isn't pretending to be stone and it wears like iron as Anglo always points out ;-)

As Helen said above, Know thyself.

Hone Virginia Mist or Via Lactea or Negresco mimic soapstone for less money and do not patina. They are great alternatives to SS- superior to SS in many ways.

Read this blog post from a woman who installed soapstone in her kitchen. It's a fantastic write up on what to expect.

https://fortheloveofahouse.blogspot.com/2014/03/soapstone.html

Thank you all for your help! It sounds like based on my personality I need to consider alternatives to soapstone. I'm currently searching for Honed Virginia Mist granite!