Agee with all posted above. Too many times ideas have been submitted for a full day when the OP comes back and begins to list all the restrictions on the space that render all the good work meaningless. People don't respond after they feel all their work has been for nothing.

This is helpful!

Great tips! @housegal

Don't take certain "pro's" advice too personally. Some of them hate anything that doesn't align with their rigid opinions. Others come across very blunt, but they really are trying to help you from making a mistake.

@BeverlyFLADeziner: Yesterday a poster asked about kitchen flooring and only showed one photo: a cabinet and existing flooring without mentioning it was laminate. Then, way, way down the thread, she finally submitted additional photos showing that the kitchen was, in fact, part of living/dining space, had carpeting she wanted to replace with hardwood. Moreover there was a lot of wood trim throughout, etc. Many suggestions were made for kitchen flooring without any of us having seen that there were wood baseboards and wood trim on all windows in the living/dining areas. So the chosen flooring for the kitchen that she wanted to extend needed to work with the wood trim. Commentors need all the visual and factual information from the get-go. It's not criticism to ask posters to provide those if they want the best responses.

suedonim75, you are correct about the conduct of some of us. Some of us have done this for so many years we sometimes forget that many newbies who write to this site have no background in design and have never been exposed to interior or color concepts. It's good to be reminded.

@BeverlyFLADeziner- honestly, I can't remember a post where you were rude or even blunt.

And you always seem very helpful and offer ideas even if it the OP doesn't really have the "best idea".

thanks so much for this useful information. Just this morning I posted in a comment that I am trying to understand all the ins and outs of houzz, and where to look for tutorials in using the site. I have some home issues I am looking for advice on but kind of felt stupid posting not knowing what folks need to allow them to give advice. so thanks again.

I thinks it’s really helpful to know If an OP has any DIY skills or experience.

This is a great post to start- thanks!

@BeverlyFLADeziner - I’ve been “stalking” this forum for awhile now - and I don’t remember you ever posting something blunt, much less rude! I wish I could say that about everyone. In fact, I’ve been procrastinating re: posting my questions because of some of the responses I’ve read.

My health is GREATLY affected by stress (systemic mastocytosis and other autoimmune diseases). While I really need some advice re: remodeling my entire house (room by room), I just haven’t felt up to having anyone be rude. I know that 99% of those type of comments aren’t intentionally rude, but it’s intimidating to post photos of my house knowing that I will be criticized for certain things.

I’ve been seriously ill for about a decade - basically bedridden for 4 years. I’ve finally been able to move back into my home after three full years of being unable to live here. I haven’t updated my house during this time at all - and really could use some advice/assistance. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly how to post a question in order to generate interest. Some things are obvious (photos/scaled layout/budget/sufficient info in order to not waste anyone‘s time). I still am trying to figure it out - bc two posts that contain the same information (which include the above suggested info) will have a DRAMATICALLY different number of comments (1 or 2 comments - while some posts that started out identically will have hundreds - some thousands!).

MOST IMPORTANTLY - I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who contribute so much of your time on here. While I haven’t posted one of my questions yet, I have still learned quite a bit from reading through other people’s posts.

dmac1108, oh I strive not to be short or rude, but I am guilty at times. Sometimes I'm not and still accused of it. Can't really do a good job to convey tone in print or sarcasm either.

On the other hand, there are plenty of posters that are only looking for people to agree with what they plan to do, and although they ask for advice, they don't really want any.

@BeverlyFLADeziner - I completely understand about people not knowing the tone of what was posted - and taking it as negative when it wasn’t meant that way. I’ve seen that several times. Sometimes people have thin skin and will assume the worst instead of giving the benefit of the doubt.

I have also read through posts where it’s CLEAR that the OP simply wants people to confirm what he/she already thinks is the best solution for the problem. There was one thread where someone had just completed building a VERY EXPENSIVE kitchen. It was large and had high end finishes. The OP was upset about how the cabinets/floor/island didn’t work together - and they didn’t. The OP received MANY responses with helpful suggestions. A couple of professionals posted photos with specific fixes. Other people made mock-ups showing new paint colors/rugs/lights/etc.

The OP’s replies were always negative - clearly had decided what the “correct fix” was BEFORE ever hitting send on the original post. People invested HOURS of time trying to help - but it was like hitting their head against a wall!

Sometimes there are posts where the OP blames the issue on the KD (or other professional) - but by the way he/she responds so defensively to suggestions, it seems like the OP made the selections/did the shoddy work - but doesn’t want to come on Houzz and admit it was his/her mistake. I’ll be reading through a post and be thinking, “There is NO WAY a professional made that decision!” Although, it could be possible. After all, there have been times when I’ve reviewed a contact sent to me, and IMMEDIATELY think, “There is NO WAY an attorney drafted this!” But, lo and behold, an attorney did. I just shake my head - and then call my client - and let him/her know that it’s going to be a bumpy transaction!

People that post need to know that a professional can’t “unsee” design problems. Admittedly, not everyone wants comments on other aspects of the house that may be in the photos, but still, when you ask a professional a question, don’t expect an amateur response (except from us amateurs). Most people are kind and try to help the OP along. Some people just write more bluntly and it could be taken as harsh criticism. But this is an amazingly generous place where highly skilled people give you free design advice. Knowing HOW to ask for design advice on a website forum is extremely helpful, but only if people read it. :)

Bumping up my posting to help Design Dilemma posters to provide comprehensive visual and descriptive information to generate the best answers for a Dilemma.

Broken record about the importance of photographing all four sides of a room with well-lit photos.

When asking about curb appeal, show the entire house close up and at a distance. In both cases, the pros and amateurs on Design Dilemmas take into account the whole space, not just a smaller problem area so they need to see the big picture.

On the topic of curb appeal. I know people are excited to get ideas on their homes, but...

You can’t really get good advice when everything (including your roof) surrounding your house is covered in 2ft of snow.

So true about the snow, so I guess wait to ask the question when the snow melts. I bumped my post because someone showed the corner of their house--about two feet of it--and wanted to know what to paint the whole house! Then today, someone showed us about a third of a living room. Gar!!!!

There is a second side.... those who answers the dilemmas... please READ the entire original post. I can't say how many times I see a dilemma where something way down in a long post says " can't move that door " or "have to keep existing appliances" or something like that and sure enough, here come the comments - " well the first thing I would do is get all stainless appliances.

It drives me crazy!

My pet peeve is dimensions..... "can I fit an island here ?" and some random picture of their kitchen. " well of course you can - it might be 24" x 18" but its an island! "

I also think there should be a rule against anyone who says " which color of white should I choose ?" and then posts something like this

Or 20 painted squares on the wall...

I know sometimes the OP gets a little overwhelmed or if people are rude they get turned off. It would be nice to see that they acknowledge the folks who do take their time and expertise to try to help them - at least hit the "like" on the post.

I really like to help people out - especially when no one else is or when they need installation expertise. I have learned alot from the people on here and I am forever grateful!!

I do like this thread! Well done!

P.S. Yes, seconding Debbie Washburn about Commentors who don't read through all the Comments and who also don't demand more photos before responding. Guilty as charged!

Bumping up this thread after making Comments once again on a space where the OP only provided additional photos from another side of the room later on. It was my own fault for not asking for additional photos right away. OP had an open kitchen with reddish gold wood cabinets that needed to be taken into consideration when making furniture choices for the living space just a few feet away. As a result, I deleted all my Comments. In open spaces, new pieces coming in need to work with the "givens" -- cabinets, floors, hardware, etc.

This is slightly off topic, but is there a preferred approach to asking multiple questions about the same project? Is it better to keep posting new questions on the same thread so that the past history and pictures of the room and all the information about budget and diy abilities is there, or to make a new post for each question? I tend to make new posts, so that the subject line reflects the question I'm currently asking, but I see other posts with thousands of comments that go on for months about all kinds of things different from the original question. Or is it best to make an initial intro post about budget/project/abilities and then link to it every time?

Rooms evolve because everything in it relates to something else for good or ill. If one piece gets added or subtracted or moved to another part of the room, the relationship of objects changes. So it's best to have one thread for a single space. This is off-topic, but if DD posters made themselves more open to changing layout, they would get better answers about paint, curtains, rugs, lighting. Optimal layout leads to optimal choices for every other piece.

When the OP provides well-lit photos from all four walls, especially if it's open space, that elicits the most helpful answers. The other day someone acted on the spot to move things around, and that created more suggestions within the same thread--in a good way. Another DD poster got rid of a troublesome sofa overnight, so people responded in the same thread to the more open room. I do think Houzz should cut off Comments at 100 tops. After that, the thread gets unwieldy.

Thanks. This seems to work well for design questions (I had a long running one about our difficult long, skinny living room), but I don't know if it does for remodeling questions. Seems weird to post a question about a new sink, or trimming a door, for instance, in the same thread originally about the floor, though it is helpful to have the pictures and budget info all in one place.

Yes, probably a new thread is needed for major renovation work. A compromise would be starting the new thread but putting in a link to the old one.

Bumping this up again after a DD poster failed to mention she was changing the color of her flooring entirely after everyone weighed in on suggestions for the flooring she showed.. Another poster failed to include a photo of her roof except for a tiny corner but had all kinds of siding ideas that wouldn't go with what did show. It's hard to emphasize enough how important it is to give complete visual information--the whole thing.

Still love this thread and seeing everyone's opinions especially when we all are seeing something different!

Keep it going!

I've tried to be aware of the dates on posts that show up from five years ago. I rarely look at posts with more than 100 comments, and then only if I've already been involved with the dilemma. For a while I tried to encourage posters to take pix by starting at the entry and working clockwise around the room in question, taking shots from every mid-wall and corner to the opposite side. Those who did so got my best input, but many do things like this, just posted today. Hopefully, the OP will read this and provide better info/pix.

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/6123580/need-help-with-various-size-beams-in-masterbedroom

Bumping up this thread with a comment so Design Dilemma poster gives complete visual information with photos of all four walls of a room and all adjacent spaces.

@decoenthusiaste - that was a great example of what not to do. Very difficult to provide advice when you are basically blindfolded! This is a very helpful thread!

One suggestion I would add to all the great ones above is for the new poster to always assume the best in others' responses until they prove themselves otherwise. Blunt responses, especially online, can feel harsh without the responder being harsh. Assume the best about those responding to you; deal with the few truly-meant-to-be-harsh ones when they happen by ignoring and/or reporting them.

Bumping up this thread after a Design Dilemma poster asked for an opinion on a tiny portion of a room and only showed a photo of one wall of the affected room and no photos of other rooms that would be affected by her proposed change. Good design doesn't work that way.

Along with giving proper information up front, it would be really nice if the OP would actually come back and comment! Or let us know when they have made a decision so we don't keep trying to help. I find it rude that you post a dilemma to get free help and very talented people try to give advice and do what they can to help and then there is no response, no decisions, no thank you and no "after" photos that could help someone else...

I just ran across another thing that may not bother some but irks me...

Example: I'm installing ABC countertop - what tile would go with this?

How about posting a picture of ABC countertop so we don't have to go look up what it is and then try to research ideas... Have you actually searched it online to see what's in the pictures you might find?? How about some thoughts on what sort of size or shape of tile you might want - there is only about a million tiles for sale in the world...

Ugh - I think I am just cranky today

Bumping up this old thread again after two frustrating attempts at giving advice only to find out that the advice wouldn't work because OP didn't show all areas of the space in question.

I'm bumping up this thread so that newbies know to post multiple photos of an entire room, not just a problem feature of it, to get the best possible answers. Somone just showed a closeup of a fireplace and wanted advice on wood mantel finish and style. Well, that would depend on furnishings and style of the rest of the room.

Bumping up this thread again after commenting on several Design Dilemmas where posters didn't provide photos of all sides of a room or adjoining spaces in a problem room. Some design dilemmas can be solved with different layouts, but we can't know that without seeing well-lit photos of all sides of a room, and knowing dimensions as well as personal and budget limits.

Don’t post old pictures. If you’ve removed furniture, walls or landscaping, post the updated picture.

Also…if it’s a curb appeal/ landscape question: everything still applies regarding multiple images from the appropriate distance, budget, etc., but also, which way does your house face? How many/few hours of direct sunlight per day? In which USDA zone do you live?

IMO many Design Dilemma posters identify what they think is the main problem but not what's actually causing the problem. So they show us just one or two photos of the space: "My living room is too small and dark, and I want it to feel more open, so should I knock down the kitchen wall or do a half wall?" And come to find out when the OP finally provides more photos, the real problem is a humongous black leather sectional, 80" TV, and dark gray walls!

^^ 100% for everything already said! I also find it hard to offer ideas when people post an empty room and a "help, I don't know where to start" plea... how about posting some images of rooms you like, colors you like, things you already own, info on the home/architecture, how you want to use the room etc...

I'm bumping up my posting sooner than usual since a slew of Design Dilemma posters are asking for answers to their Dilemma but not showing the entire space in question or the whole house exterior. Please, newbies, read and follow the advice in this posting before asking your question.

Bumping up this thread again for several reasons that cause Commentors to run around in circles because they don't have full information from the start:

--A Design Dilemm poster failed to mention until well into her thread that what looked like a wood kitchen floor was actually peeling laminate. Commentors kept suggesting to keep the floor and devote her floor budget to other improvements. But she still didn't mention the floor was laminate until after a couple dozens responses!

--The same poster had pretty much already decided to go with some kind of gray laminate flooring despite multiple pros pointing out lack of harmony with beautiful real wood cabinets. Why post a Design Dilemma at all if you just want approval for what you already decided? Just use the Houzz poll feature and go from there. Or don't post at all.

--Different poster with another long thread and incomplete information: The new DD poster failed to show all four walls at the beginning. Yes, newbies tend to identify one isolated problem to be solved. Good design doesn't work that way. It's holistic. Trained designers take the entire space into account and often come up with multiple solutions the DD poster hadn't thought of. PLEASE SHOW PHOTOS OF ALL FOUR WALLS FROMT THE GET-GO!

Bumping up the thread after too many DD posters offered very little visual information--so, so limiting.

I'm bumping up this old thread after many Commentors weighed in today about choosing cabinet paint and a countertop based on a couple very limited photos. Turns out the space was open concept where all elements are seen at once in the visual field and must be taken into account: finishes, floor, furniture, rugs, art, wall paint.

I'm commenting so I can bump this thread up for newbies to Design Dilemmas. A DD poster yesterday failed to show entire space she had a problem with. So several of us suggested a change in layout that would use what we all thought was a full wall, but it was a short stairway wall in front of a walkway into the kitchen. So nothing could be placed on the floor below that stairway wall. DD poster also had tight budget restrictions, which they didn't mention. So half the Comments to help them were useless. Note to Design Dilemma newbies: take photos of all four walls of entire space before posting so we see all walkways, doorways, windows, built-ins, etc. Mention budget restraints. Note things that can't be changed/relocated/sold: desk Dad made for you; partner's huge black recliner; grandmother's china cabinet; 60" TV, etc.

Unpopular opinion coming up. Don’t throw tomatoes at me, I don’t like them. Throw ripe avocados instead, please. 😁

On the other hand of this, I wish people who respond (and no one has to) would be more gracious and patient. If that’s not possible, maybe it would be best to scroll on by.

There are lots of reasons OPs may not make the perfect posts:

First time message board users and don’t know how it all works.

Are finding the board to be glitchy (it often is) and are trying to figure it out.

Are new to decorating and don’t understand every bit of info needed.

Etc.

Yes, these tips are helpful in theory … but 99% of the time on threads, the OPs are ridiculed and treated in a very condescending way immediately, instead of being shown any patience.

If I’m only seeing one side of a room, I always ask for more context. Meanwhile, everyone else is posting all this advice, then getting huffy after the OP shows more.

So — ask for what you need to help. Wait for the OP to respond. If they don’t, then that’s on them and they won’t get the most helpful advice.