Why does your contractor not have people in place for these jobs? What are you paying the contractor to do for you?

@mcarroll16 the contractor is setting up all the meetings. At the meeting we are picking the cabinet faces and materials, wood floor type and widths, etc. so the contractor can put together a book of bids for us. During the meetings, we will pick a top, medium, and cost-cutting option for most trades so as we get the bids back we can move options around to meet our budget. We like our contractor, but we don't want him picking the cabinets and finishes in our forever home.

They want to know if you're crazy or anal-retentive, trust me. If your floors are cleaner than the plates in their cupboards, they'll notice.

What questions should I be ready to answer?

"How are you?"; and any other questions should be answered honestly.

What should I make sure I ask?

"How are you?"

Actually the meeting is most likely an introduction, so whenever you are on site they can turn the music down and not use profanity. It is best if all the questions and answers go through the General Contractor and any interaction with the sub-contractors are more of a social level.

Interesting. That is a really different process than how it's done in my area. Contractors here don't bid a job until the entire design, including cabinet selection, is finished and cabinets, plumbing, appliances are ordered. The only thing we are selecting post-bid is the flooring finish and the exact countertop material. But in all of those cases, the contractor has subs on board. It's not up for negotiating.

Taking notes from Joseph Corlett and Mark Bischak on how to talk to the subs when they do come through. :)

Do you have a designer helping you coordinate choices? In my limited experience it helps if you can show a few pics of the kind of look you’re after, and can articulate what’s most important to you within each choice (“…a floor our dogs can’t mar,” “inset cabinetry” etc.)

@mcarroll I assumed the contractor has the subs locked in for each specialty, and each will be bidding good/better/best options that the OP will then choose from.

@mcarroll16 It is interesting to learn how the process works in different areas and with different contractors!

In your area, after you have ordered cabinets, and appliances if the bid comes in higher than expected and you need to cut back I wonder how the contractor would handle it.

For example, we met with the window vendor last week and he provided a few ideas on how we could save money without compromising the design. Since we are getting bids before the project is engineered I was able to work with the contractor and architect to make a few changes.

We are not meeting with tradespeople where the material does not need to be selected (drywaller for example) only with trades where our selection may impact the cost.

This is a remodel of a >1000 square foot home adding 500 square feet so not a huge build.

Are your contractors and employees vaccinated?

Well I oversimplified a bit. We worked with a designer on the cabinets. She was able to recommend a few contractors who gave us estimates, and that helped us trim the design a bit. The contractors that I contacted through other sources though wouldn't give us any numbers until the design was complete. Even the advance estimates we did get though were rough and non-binding. We didn't have a final contract price until well after cabinets and appliances were in our garage, and engineering was complete. At this point we could trim prices a bit by switching to vinyl floors or laminate countertops. We would still be using subs of the contractor's choosing.

I wonder how much the difference is due to local market conditions. We're in the Seattle area, where construction is crazy. Contractors can choose their customers, and they want ready-to-go projects that they can punch through quickly.

My GC has what he calls a "trades day" when he brings the leads from all his favourite subs to the potential job site to see it and understand both what the home-owner wants and what the site is like. This is done post-ballpark and pre-formal estimate. I like my GC so this is the 2nd big job I've done with him. This is what I prepare-- and yes, it's more than you need; but in my experience it's appreciated and it makes everything go much more smoothly.

Some visual aids to keep the conversation on track and let the subs make notes on the drawings. I email the files to my GC ahead of time and I have print-outs for everyone when they arrive.

• a pre-job floorplan
• a future-state floorplan-- i.e. what you're thinking you want. Comparing pre- and future- floorplans lets people see immediately that you want walls moved or windows added/removed.
• sketch of the space's future elevations

A list of things I know will be required, broken down by trade. I'm not talking basic materials like lumber, dry-wall, etc. I mean things like sink faucet, replacement doors, ceiling fan...

A list of concerns I have or advice I'd like, arranged by task/major feature. E.g. I'd like to have a curbless shower. Is that possible in my space? Is it a good idea? Is the price difference between a low-curb and a curbless shower going to make me gulp?

I also have my tablet open to my idea books and Pinterest folders so that I can show an example of what I mean when I'm asking my questions or describing what I want.

The most important thing about this meeting is that it's the beginning of a relationship. You've got a group of highly-skilled professionals coming to meet with you. Treat them the same way you would treat new collaborators at work.

@Jennifer K Great advice and just the direction I needed. I am going to re-read this tomorrow and set my game plan. I appreciate you taking the time to share your tips.

Excellent advice from @Jennifer K; the following in particular:

"The most important thing about this meeting is that it's the beginning of a relationship. You've got a group of highly-skilled professionals coming to meet with you. Treat them the same way you would treat new collaborators at work."

The above sentences are hands-down the most valuable three sentences of advice I've seen on houzz.com from any homeowner or a pro. If projects were approached with this mindset, I'll bet more than half of the horror stories posted on this forum would never have happened.

IMO you need a designer who designs the kitchen and advises on flooring and all the rest that is not the contractors job his job is to do the work the designer and you have designed. So this is a weird way to do this IMO. I do agree with Charles but I really advise a designer to be on board .