I could ask at least 3 of my neighbors for a cup of sugar. We all moved in as the neighborhood was building out and got to know each other. It was really easy since we were all transplants from somewhere else and didn't already have a clique/circle of friends formed yet. Even though we don't have a lot in common, we're still friendly enough to frequently chat outside when the weather is nice, exchange Christmas cards, and get together for lunch every now and then. In my last neighborhood, we were the newbies among families that had lived there for 15+ years already. Getting to know those neighbors enough to borrow a cup of sugar was MUCH more difficult and I'd probably have made a grocery store run instead if I had a choice. Before that, in our first married house, we were friendly with a good 8-10 neighbors who were a combination of long-time residents as well as newly married/new parents like us. We were lucky that the "vibe" of the neighborhood was so friendly.

When I was about 9 years old, I moved from a 60's starter box on a busy road to a 1920s suburb full of mature trees, sidewalks on both sides of the road, and wonderful solid houses filled with families with children or elderly people. It was a short walk to the elementary school, the playground and the park, and I loved having so many playmates and places to explore. The adults would gather on the sidewalks to chat while us kids roamed the yards each evening when it cooled off. We moved when I was 12 and I have missed that sense of neighborhood ever since, which was part of my inspiration to study urban planning and historic architecture.

I dreamed of recreating the neighborhoods of my childhood, and the "New urbanism movement" was just starting by the time I graduated, which looks to be the source of your image. That dream hasn't panned out, but I have lived in a few old houses with a sense of neighborhood since, which I much prefer to some of the bland apartment blocks and neighborhoods I have lived in as well. I prefer older walkable areas rather than being tied to a car out in the sticks. But I have come to realize that with double-earner households and the distraction of electronics, a sense of neighborhood is much harder to come by than in my youth.

I have two neighbors I wouldn't hesitate to ask for sugar, and another three where it wouldn't be terribly awkward. Our neighborhood, although urban, is kind of like those neighbors in films where parents just holler out the front door for the kids to come in for dinner. We're lucky.

I live in a neighborhood with only about 20 houses in a big circle. The circle is located at the end of dead end which makes no one else comes to this area unless you are visiting this people or lost. I love my neighbors especially right by our house. Not only I can borrow anything for cooking and tools for yard work( there are enough tools needed when each house has about 2 acre) they told me to just walk over and get it. These are the people I trust for my kids. My kids know if something were to happen to me, go to grandpa M. I cook for them sometimes or just bring some food over just because it turned out so well. I make extra wrist warmers so that their hands stay warm(we are in MN) We have a neighborhood party and social 2 times a year. I feel blessed to have such wonderful people right by us.

One night, I "borrowed" some red wine for myself. No, I am not a taker but my husband said I sure have thick skin in my face(Asian expression on not blushing easily I guess).

I have the keys to three of my neighbours houses, sometimes four. We all get on just fine, but we don't go in and out of each others houses all day long. We quite often gather for a chat when we are out doing the gardens etc and we know that there is always a friendly ear near by if we have a problem we would like to talk about.

In the MIdwest, most anyone will pitch in for emergencies, or an occasional special project. At the same time, it is understood that one does not ask unless they must.

I have at least a dozen neighbors that borrow and lend. One thing that brings us together - when someone has a birthday, we often get together at their house for birthday cake and coffee/drinks. It's an easy, low-pressure way to invite people over and to start feeling more comfortable going in and out of each other's houses. We are a very diverse group in every way, and get along great. I have wonderful neighbors!

I love my neighborhood. We often help each other with tools, advice, an extra hand (and occasionally, sugar, tomato paste, eggs, etc.). Great people.

The day I moved in, my neighbor introduced himself and explained that they were leaving for the weekend, but would leave their backdoor unlocked in case I needed to borrow any tools from their basement. I was shocked and certain I wouldn't take him up on his offer. But after many weary hours unpacking, I realized I couldn't assemble my bed without an allen wrench.....and oh lordy I longed to sleep in that bed. So I helped myself to that wrench!

Fast forward 12 years, and I rely more than ever on the amazing generosity of 7 of my neighbors. I've been fighting tonsil cancer since June. With no nearby family, my neighbors and friends have been carrying me and my young daughter through this rough patch. Sometimes I don't even know which neighbor shoveled our snow, did our laundry or left food. I do know we live among angels.. I just hope I am as kind when I have the chance to help someone.

Having made many moves in my lifetime, I have learned a lot about picking neighborhoods. If you want to get acquainted with the neighbors, move into a new neighborhood and preferably be the first home on the street. (I know, you have to put up with construction for months, but it can be worth it.)

We have moved into established neighborhoods and without exception, it has been extremely difficult to get acquainted with the neighbors. They have lived there long enough to be established in their routines and friendships. Seldom did anyone ever make an effort to meet us. We always had to be the ones who initiated contact. And that was difficult because we never saw them!

Even knowing these things, we moved into an established neighborhood 18 months ago. (It was an excellent location.) To this day I have not laid eyes on the neighbors on either side of us. When a new family moved in across the street from us a few months ago, we immediately reached out to them and offered our assistance in any way possible. Since then we have loaned them tools, fixed their sprinkler system, and took in their son who was looked out of the house one day.

We have also met one couple three houses down from us because they were outside one day and we initiated a conversation. I will be reaching out to each new family that moves into the neighborhood because I think it is important. To those who have been here longer than we have and did not reach out to make us feel welcome to the neighborhood, they can live in their caves from now on as far as I am concerned. They obviously aren't social creatures! : )

I love, love, love, my neighborhood. We have lived here 17 years, there are 98 homes in our little neighborhood. We all share a dock to put our boats in the intracoastal waterway in our Florida community. I could ask many for sugar, trust them to go in my home, watch my kids, now that they are teenagers it is more reporting what they are doing, and it is very easy. We have block parties, walk arounds, and a majority of the neighbors do know each other. We don't walk in or out of our neighbors homes, but the kids do. This seems to be the correct amount of closeness to prevent any negative consequences. I hope this is the last home I will live in.

I live close enough to the grocery store that I probably wouldn't borrow a cup of sugar, but I would and have borrowed garden tools. My neighbors are very friendly, even the renters are invested in the neighborhood. Plus I live on a street where, after the recent snowstorm, there in a snow fort built in the yard of a neighbor who doesn't have kids. Ya gotta love that.

The place we just left in Virginia, I lived there almost 16 years. The house was built in 1948 and we were only the 3rd owners. The neighbor to my left was an elderly man whose wife passed away 2 years into our living there. He shared plants & seeds with me getting my garden started. He passed away 2 years before we moved here to NC, and when I had my back fence cleared of aggressive wisterias from the back neighbor, I had his back fence cleared too. His Grandson was my daughter's HS English teacher... My neighbor on the right was a wonderful woman, I shared plants and cuttings, and bulbs with her... she had grown up in that house and moved in when her mother passed away... The elderly man & her father were best friends. She babysat our kitties when we traveled, and she watered my plants & roses while I was out of town. Our one male cat would flirt shamelessly with her when she came to visit... He just loved her...
She was a special neighbor, and I miss her... We still stay in touch and she loves when I send kitty pictures...
Working on getting to know our neighbors here in the condo complex... Sharing cuttings so far... hoping to get to know them better...

Absolutely, I have a wonderful neighbor next door, and we can call each other anytime for anything. I've been parked in her drive since yesterday, because our homes are small
and close together, and I had company yesterday. Well, her friend came over a little while ago to see if I could move my car, sure thing, and we never assume anything or get hurt feelings. She's the best! Now, before moving to NC, I lived in VA at a beautiful lake with about 25 neighbors. Horrible atmosphere. HOA always worried about everything. They were all concerned about their property value-this was during the inflated real estate years. And, talk about cheap! Never felt much love in that neighborhood, and couldn't live there full time, so back home to NC. Happy, Happy!

I have one house in Brooklyn and would have no problem asking any of my neighbors for sugar or to bring in the garbage cans if we are away. However at the other house it is weird. We know almost everyone on the block but not in a way where I would ask them to put me out if I were on fire much less borrow sugar. They are nosy, intrusive and have this weird competition thing going on. One neighbor who is a realtor even admitted at a party that he "researched" our backgrounds to see what we paid for the house and what my husband did for a living. In that one conversation he effectively killed any desire I had to meet up at the cul-du-sac and converse. So we are pretty much down to a smile, a wave and keep walking.

Have lived a long time on our cul-de-sac. We've been here the longest. Several long timers. Some homes have changed ownership. We have always had great neighbors. Help each other and check on each other all the time. We can ask neighbors for any kind of favors and likewise in return. It's a great friendship and we know we can count on many of them for anything.

Depends which neighbor, and it'd be for a cup of something other than sugar. ;)

grobby, sounds a bit like some areas of Smith Mt Lake... I moved from Roanoke...

@mamajo2k. Ditto. Tell me more. Just read your profile. Could you possibly be a neighbor? Live in HP, too. Small world

I have the greatest neighbors. We have lived in my small cottage for 23 years now. Most of our neighbors have been here almost as long. We grow gardens and share our crops. My neighbor went fishing today and bought over about a pound of fresh fish... Love it. After hurricane Charley one of the families come over and help us clean up the fallen trees and debrish. An other family bought over steaks since the power was out for 2 weeks. We had a big party with everyone's help. I love my neighbors.

My neighbor uses sugar?! Shame...don't associate w/ sugar users. The only sweetener we use here is Agave. (Just a little humor here folks! :)

No problem, I can ask them for sugar, milk, eggs or even a bottle of wine if the liquor store is closed. I even asked then to put a pie (or two) in their oven because mine was already occupied with the main meal for guests coming at my place later on. I would give them the second pie to thank them.

Count it a blessing if you have good neighbors. I miss my old neighbor terribly....we didn't know just how good we had it. Been making a point of reaching out to newer ones than us but most are just too busy. Shame, what is more important when it's all said and done than relationships?

You hit the nail on the head Stevie!

We've got a good relationship with our neighbours here, and would definitely not hesitate to pop over if we needed anything. Not sugar though, there's a supermarket right outside. The community vibe here goes quite against the stereotype of a London apartment block.
On our floor people quite often manage to lock themselves out and come round to our flat to gain access to the balcony/terrace that goes round the building so they can get to their back door. It's probably helpful for neighbourliness that there's an online forum for the building where everyone can have a gripe about problems with the building. Also saying hi or having a chat to people in the lift helps, despite my English urge to avoid eye contact, has meant slowly getting to know people better.

I have lived in my neighborhood for about 20 years and have the most miserable neighbor - an 80 year old man that I cant stand....over the 20 years we have tried to be nice to him, we take care of the shared driveway(pay for the gravel as well as clear the snow) and have ignored his rants and he has quite a bit - I would never ask him for sugar. The other neighbors on my street are not very friendly - wouldnt ask them for anything either. If I didnt absolutely love where I live - I would move in a heartbeat!

Where do you live?

rural pennsyvania outside of pittsburgh

That is a beautiful area. I understand your attraction to it.

Maybe it's just me .. but, my practice is to take the neighbor relationship building slowly.
We have had, in the past, issues with intrusive, overbearing neighbors.
In our current home, I like the smiles and waves from people in our community. I like brief chats at the mailbox. Thats enough for us. We know our neighbors and like them - on the outside of our busy home.

Life is short.... neighbors can be a great source of support in tough times. If you haven't cultivated strong relationships, you may live to regret it.

We do this all the time. We always have neighbours coming for sugar, coco and eggs. I love our street and our neighbours - I wish more people lived this way.

I had murderous thoughts about my next-door neighbour few weeks ago. Her dryer broke, she couldn't get one delivered soon enough and asked me a couple of times if I can dry her stuff. (fair enough, it was only her girls school uniforms and their socks&knickers). Of course I could, I said, I wasn't personally going to blow hot air on the clothes to dry them.

My problem was when unloading the dryer. I mean, what is the code of conduct when returning one's children's dried knickers: do I knock her door and say: hey, the dryer's finished, come get your clothes? or do I take them out and then --do I have to fold them? or can I get away with just piling them in the basket? Would she think I'm a pedo-weirdo if I fold her girls' underwear, or a lazy slacker if I just pile them up... You see, murder would be justified when one is confronted with this sort of thoughts.

In the end I just piled the socks&knickers and folded the uniform shirts - I thought that would be a good compromise. I mean, she and her husband are both MDs; I don't want to (god forbids!) need CPR one day and for them to hesitate thinking "not sure she's worth saving, her folding skills are just too bad to help her live" (apologies, Marianne & Owen, I know you'd never think that!) I really hope next time she'll only need some sugar - at least I won't have sinful thoughts about that!

PS: Everyone on my street is wonderful; I feel really grateful to live in such a friendly and peaceful neighbourhood.

I've lived in both. I appreciated the camaraderie but not the over-involvement when it occasionally happened. Just closed on my first home a little over a week ago. I've spent only one night so far, as I'm between residences until I migrate everything over. Someone cleared my driveway of snow, I wish I knew who. My block has ten homes, but some are under construction still from hurricane Sandy so they aren't all occupied.

My intention is to leave a note in my neighbors' mailboxes saying hello once I get settled. I figure if they want to say hi that'll be the ice breaker. I'd like to make some friends there, I want to plant strong roots, so to speak.

Live near Oak Hollow Mall... don't see a way to contact you in private tho...

Wow, you bring up many issues to consider. However,mi don't think you have to murder the neighbors in order to not look like a perv or a slacker( I am American, so I hope I got that right), I think you made just the right compromise, you
didn't fold the undies only the uniforms ( I myself would be grateful).
If they do not not do CPR on you, should you collapse, they are the bad neighbors. Wishing you well from the other side of the pond,

Sorry, my last message was for LUCIANO

I wish I had nice neighbors.....well, close neighbors anyway. The farmer whose property adjoins ours (but whose house is 1/4 mile away) is nice and plows our driveway for next to nothing. We have one close neighbor and every person that has lived in that house has been a nightmare. The first one would sit in his garage and drink and shoot bbs at us while we did yard work. Never used trash bags so our property was full of his blown away trash every garbage day. Then foreclosure (awww, too bad) and a doctor moved in. Well apparently he doesn't like his dog to do his business in his own yard, so he walks it and lets it do its business along our rural road. Picks it up, walks back.....and then flings it into a wooded area on MY property. He would fling extra dramatically if he knew I was watching him. Until my husband saw him do it and after a heated exchange in the street, he doesn't fling his dog waste anymore. No, I would grow and process my own sugar cane before I would ask that guy for anything.

Meresyg your situation sounds similar to mine when I lived in rural Mississippi. My closest neighbor was 1/2 mile away and was a church so they were only there Wed. nights and Sundays. We had 76 acres and the house had cotton fields on one side, cow pasture on two sides, and woods with a creek on the 4th side. It was scary when my ex walked out because the divorce got ugly and I was afraid if he ever did anything to harm me I'd never get help. Sometimes we'd get dove hunters over in the Cotton and birdshot would rain down into the swimming pool...

I live too close to many restaurants so we don't typically borrow food items -- I think that dates back to the days when people had smaller stocked pantries and had to cook every meal they ate. I have, however, borrowed an egg on Thanksgiving Day when the local grocery store was closed and I realized I was short right in the middle of cooking the meal. I am separated by 3 acres from my neighbor. We borrow things like chain saws, shovels, tractor attachments, or trailers (the kind we pull behind a car - he has small one, I have large cumbersome one). I hate to borrow more expensive items in case they break while I'm using it, but have reluctantly loaned out my lawn equipment to a neighbor in my former neighborhood. Hubby handles the yard stuff though.

@penilo - greetings from across the pond, neighbour! (of the global village)

Thank you for your concern, but I want to assure you that I did not, at any point, considered murdering my neighbour. It was a slight exaggeration on my part, strictly done in order to make a light and humorous (I hoped!) comment. I claim artistic licence -- otherwise I need to seriously improve my English if someone ended up thinking I might really be a criminal in the making...

If I was going to borrow a cup of sugar from my 'neighbor' I would have to drive 5 miles to get it. So, no to the sugar. On the other hand I know we could ask for help if something weird happened and they know that they can ask us as well. I've had enough experience with neighbors who didn't respect any kind of boundary and I've also had wonderful neighbors. The best was living in row apartments. I had both kinds of neighbors there. During a very hard time after a hard relationship breakup I heard some noise outside my apartment...pulled back my bedroom curtain a bit only to see my beautiful 23 yr. old neighbor washing my car! He was the sweetest kid...a cup of sugar in and of himself!

I live in a neighborhood in L.A. that isn't nosy but very social and friendly. The other day my two toddlers and I were baking cookies for a potluck and I just needed 1/2 cup more of sugar. I texted four neighbors. One came through quickly and the other three weren't home but the responses were, "You know where the key is, go inside and just grab some! The doggies will love to see you!," "Do you know where our hidden key is?" and "Oh man, all I have is Truvia, can you use that?!" We have get-togethers, a play group on the street, and the people at the very top of the street literally bake cookies every Sunday for the cyclists or walkers. It's donation only for the park conservancy. I don't know why our area is so cool. Maybe it's the snakes, coyotes, and fire threat that bonds us but we really love it. It isn't uncommon to get a text that says, "Husband working late. Want to bring the kiddos down and we can have some wine?" If a dog is loose, odds are you know where to return it, people look out for each other, kids pop by to say hello, and a book club with awesome dinners at each hosts house. Been here 7 years. Love it.

It's all about making the first step. You go first and they will follow.

I envy all these warm and fuzzy neighborhoods! I live in a fairly rural area and our house is up a long driveway and is hidden from the street -- something I love in many ways but it is not conducive to lots of neighbor interactions. We also are near an area with fairly high crime -- a big hindrance for key-sharing and open doors. Bummer. Still, I'd LOVE to create a better sense of community and I find it hard to establish one when we don't have a common post office or market or meeting place to help us naturally overlap and get to know one another. Suggestions?

I am blessed to live in a neighborhood that is rather isolated from other neighborhoods around us. This has made everyone get to know one another and everyone is quite friendly. I have several neighbors I could text and ask for a cup of sugar, no problem. It really nice when you live in a neighborhood where you have good neighbors.

I am moving within a month to a popular senior (55+) mobile home park, and I can't tell you how excited I am. There are about 250 homes in this park. My new home is on one of the rare dead end streets and has about five homes on each side. The neighbors are all very friendly and welcoming, and they apparently get together for card and board games (yay!) and occasional potluck "block parties." I got so lucky by buying this place even with the extensive renovations I am undergoing.

Jesus said, “love your neighbor as yourself.” You’re sensible people, go discover what that means.