Some people will give specific feedback...usually good. Once I was told that a cantaloupe wasn't too good, but that one bought at a stand was great. Well, I usually know just about how good things are as I have been eating them too although whole melons do leave a bit of unknown to them. That's why I would rather give half of a watermelon after checking it out myself first.

The only thing I've had enough of to give away so far have been sugar snap peas this year, and my grandmother loved them. Then again, she's old school and cheap as all get out, so anything free is like gold to her. (God love her ;)

Last year, I had a glut of cherry tomatoes that I refused to eat because I grew them in SWC's that were 1. sucking up too much water, and 2. affected by some freakish rain, so the tomatoes were so puffed up that eating them was like biting into seedy, tomato-flavored water bags. They were decidedly terrible, but since I didn't want them to go to waste, I tried to pawn them off on anyone who'd take them, lol. I gave them to my cousin and his wife, who for some reason, thought they were the greatest, "juciest" (their words, not mine. Definitely not mine.) tomatoes they'd had in a long time.

So, I'd say that generally people are grateful that they're getting fresh, homegrown produce, but once in a while you get someone who's either jaded because they've been spoiled, or just plain ungrateful. I know for a fact that I'd be a little bothered or hurt if I received absolutely no feedback, or if I received negative feedback after trying to extend a kindly gesture to someone. Plus, I sort of feel like the fruits of my garden are like my babies - I don't really want anyone talking badly about them, even if they ARE bad, so I don't think you're being overly sensitive at all. We put a lot of time, energy, and care into making our gardens productive, and it's not unreasonable to want some recognition of that in the form of appreciation or praise when we give something away.

I only give my produce away to people who act enthused when I offer them. A thanks is enough for me, but of course I appreciate it when someone takes the time to tell me if they enjoyed it. Who doesn't?

There are various reasons people refuse stuff. They may have a load of it they got elsewhere in their own pantry. They may think doing it up is too much work. They might just not know how much better home raised tastes.

If I find them wasted after the fact, or if someone makes snide remarks about them I do one of two things, or both. I can or freeze the rest for my use later or if I still have too much leftover, they go to my local food kitchen who just LOVE to get fresh produce donated to stretch their food dollars and serve their patrons. They've never yet turned down clean, fresh vegetables or eggs.

We share with neighbors, who are very enthusiastic and give great "reviews" of the produce! Like calliope, a lot of our excess goes to a local food bank, where it is received with cries of joy! If someone says, "I don't like that" or "How do you cook that?" I give it up as a bad idea and offer the produce/eggs to someone else.
My one hard and fast rule--no thank you, no more produce. There are limits!

Yes, ancfan, it does happen to me. I've been frustrated at times with the same issues. Many people, it seems, do not cook and also do not eat a diet very high in fresh foods. Many people are not familiar with anything much more exotic than red delicious apples and iceberg lettuce. Some people are just lazy, IMO -- they'll happily take things if they are pre-picked, precleaned, etc., but aren't willing to do the work it takes to get them to that stage.

It seems to be a sad commentary on the state of our civilization that so many people desire overly processed, homogenized, overly salty and sugary junk food and don't know what "real" food is.

But not everyone is that way. Some people are genuinely happy to have a gift of fresh produce, even at times exotic produce, and there are those willing to do the work to pick their own. I guess you just have to seek out those people to shower with your excess bounty.

And finally

How do you cook this can actually be a very appropriate and appreciative comment. I guess it would be the tone in which it is said.
There are a lot of things I have never cooked-some of which I have planted in my garden.

How do you cook this can actually be a very appropriate and appreciative comment. I guess it would be the tone in which it is said.
There are a lot of things I have never cooked-some of which I have planted in my garden.

I agree - it can indicate interest, depending on how it's being asked. I've purchased things at farmers markets that I had never cooked before but was interested in trying, like kale and fava beans (both of which I could not live without now), and had to ask the workers how they were cooked. If I thought they'd follow through, I'd be happy to give garden goodies to the "how do you cook this?" people. The "I don't like that" people...not so much. :P

ancfan,

I can understand. I sent my MIL fresh garden tomatoes last year on 3 occasions and she never once had anything to say about them. DH finally told me that she did not like the fact that they were yellow. (Dr. Wyche Yellow). I did not send anymore.

DL

As you can tell from these comments, you are NOT being overly sensitive.[in the opinions of other gardeners]

My extras go to family members who ALWAYS turn down greens, but love beets, potatoes, green beans, squash, and tomatoes. The elderly ladies at my daughter's MIL's apartment LOVE all the greens I can send...they must have developed a taste for those humble greens in harder times. Probably because they appreciate my greens, those old gals also get the best of my veggies and flowers.

In addition to not having developed a taste for some produce, some folks might have digestive or teeth, or tremor issues that may make some things difficult for them.

You guys are crackin' me up ;-)

This is exactly why I raise all my veggies to donate to the Food Bank, they are indeed ...VERY Appreciative ;-)

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i have a friend who texts me pictures of the meals she prepares with my produce and then brings me the recipe the next day. Makes it really fun to give her my extras.

But most of my friends are more like yours. They really prefer it if the food is already prepared. Cracks me up ; )

Funny you should mention this...My cousins who love asparagus are always asking if they can have some of mine. In early May I went on vacation so I asked my cousins (both retired) to harvest the asparagus while I was gone and told them they could keep all they harvested. I showed them where the patch was and how to cut them. Lo and behold, I came back from vacation and the entire patch had gone to frond not one spear had been harvested!

My daughter said they had each come by and looked at the bed but decided it was TOO DIFFICULT to harvest them and left! The patch is 3' wide 35' long and can be accessed from both sides. These two cousins have no physical problems preventing them from the task.

I'm very perturbed with them, what a waste! Oh and then after I got back from vacation one had the nerve to ask me if she was going to get any asparagus this year. Plus she asked for rhubarb which is in the next patch over from the asparagus that I had also told her she could help herself to while I was away.

I should have know better, both come by to use my pool and will stand by my garden fence watching me work then ask for vegetables. Several times I have told them to pick their own but they never do.

They aren't the only ones that try to "place vegetable orders" with me and I've had it with the lot of them. I don't "fill" orders and I only offer what I can spare or are willing to give. One year, I had a friend ask me for a "leftover" bushel of tomatoes! "You have so many tomatoes, you MUST have leftover." DUH! I've explained until I'm blue in the face and they just don't choose to understand.

From now on the Food Bank will be getting ALL my extra produce.

Can you tell I'm a tad perturbed??? :-)

ancfan .... sounds like you hit a nerve! Maybe its time for someone to rewrite THE LITTLE RED HEN for modern days.

One wonders if those people who not only don't help, but WON'T help themselves [when invited to], know how thoughtless/selfish/clueless their behavior is? Having said that, I would caution against being too heavy-handed the next time they ask for "left-over" produce. Just a light-hearted telling about the raves you get from whatever charitable outlet that now gets your garden's overflow.

Because of the lovely responses I get from the elderly ladies, I have no bad reports, and sounds like others have found a similar appreciative 'outlet' for their bounty.

I think it's also possible that people are apprehensive about harvesting from someone else's garden because they don't want to do it wrong or mess something up. Usually, the people who the invitations are extended to are aware of the work that's put in, and the care that's taken in the garden, so maybe they're just nervous about potentially ruining something.

Sadly, I think that more often than not, people are just too lazy to do it themselves - a sentiment that I, for the life of me, cannot understand because it's SO fun to harvest things. People pay a premium for the fun-factor at U-pick farms!

Thanks for all your responses :) Last summer I gave each of my co-workers a mini watermelon (they were sweet) they kept them in the fridge. Acouple of months later I cleaned out the frige at work and there they were, I had to toss them :( My bf's friend was at our house the other day (he is out of work and is on unemployment and his gf works part-time and they have a 10 yr girl) I gave him a bunch of veggies. He called last night and I asked my bf if they liked the veggies and my bf said he didn't mention anything about them. Quess I will have to get another freezer and call the food bank. The only ones I'm giving to from now on is my sister in Washington state, I give her veggies and she gives me shrimp, salmon and elk :) Happy gardening everyone!!

I think it is very common.

If you try to give fish away, no one will take it unless it is not only cleaned, but filleted and de-boned and ready to cook.

I find the same thing with my fruit. Virtually no one is willing to pick their own, but they will take it if it is already picked and delivered to their doorstep.

At least I get feedback about the fruit. I always assume it is because they want more of it (free and delivered to their door )

Look at how huge the market is for those prepackaged salads. Some people won't even make the effort to wash their food. They want it already washed and ready to eat.

Besides the food bank, senior centers are a good place to give away veggies. The people there are old enough to know how to cook, and many are on a fixed income.

Oh that reminds me of another incident, 2 attorneys I work with was buying and eating mixed salad greens (out of the bag) the same mix I grew, so I picked and throughly cleaned about 2 pounds of it for them, I bought it to the office and offered it them, they turned me down saying it probably had bugs in it because I grow organically and I don't use pesticides. So I offered them some salad dressing (Raid ant spray)HeHe

The worst is when people think garden veggies are dirty somehow. I've also given produce to people who don't know how to cook (if slicing a squash and cooking it in oil counts as cooking). I guess I should have known better...

If people are ungrateful for free home-grown veggies then you know they just don't understand what it takes to grow food and that they take for granted the privilege of having access to food.

I see part of my post got "eaten" by computer gremlins again (happens a lot to me for whatever reason, probably my unreliable dial up connection at home).

Anyway, I wanted to say 2 things:

1) There is no shame in "wasting" unwanted produce -- compost it, it really enriches the soil. I've got some older pear and apple trees where I've been dumping unwanted produce for years, and it has the best ground under there. I've got daffodils planted there for spring displays and they are absolutely gorgeous.

2) Keep some backyard poultry or small animals if possible -- my ducks and chickens just love the leftovers, and their manure is excellent fertilizer. I just hatched 6 turkeys two weeks ago, my first time trying to raise these, and they get so excited when I throw a little lettuce into the brooder for them.

What really kills me is that people call my kids "weird" because they regularly go to the garden for their snacks (tomatoes, carrots, peas, etc). I am just excited that they want to eat veggies instead of junk food. How many teenage boys do this?

I have friends who ask when I am bringing them veggies in a demanding way as if I owe them. The same ones rarely say thank you or compliment the flavor. Oh well.

You're not alone. Some people are unappreciative if you give them something that has to be picked through and washed. Washing and prepping sinks full of greens just for my family is pretty time-consuming. Yes, I do give my greens a cursory wash and dry before giving them away, but imagine my surprise/dismay when I learned that a friend couldn't be bothered to clean the greens and just tossed them out like trash! GRRRRRR! Now I am in the business of telling people beforehand that if they want veggies from me, they will need to wash and prep them. If they snicker, I just don't give them any!

I'll gladly take all and any vegetables anyone is willing to give away. I have limited space and choose to grow squash, zucchini, bell peppers, and onions. I wish I had room for peas and snap beans. (hint hint)

One other thing to do with excess production of veggies is to barter for things you don't grow.

I trade some of my excess fruit for vegetables, herbs, and potatoes. Or for flower bulbs and iris rhizomes.

That way, the produce is going to a gardener, and you know they appreciate it.

Of course, if you have a lot of veggies, there is always the farmer's market. Get some cash to pay for next year's potting soil.

Along those same lines, I was puttering around on Facebook earlier, and one of the gardening "things", for lack of a better term, I recently became a fan of, linked to an article that linked to another site with a veggie trade database on it, which I thought was a really cool idea. The premise is that people around the U.S. can enter in their area and what they have for trade, and others can then look them up, and initiate communication to swap veggies (and possibly flowers or seeds, but I didn't look that far into it).

I checked in a 25 mile radius of my zip code and there wasn't anybody registered, but in those areas where more people are active, it seems like a really neat idea. Wish I had folks around here to trade with!

Okay, here's the other side. A friend of ours has had two surgeries since May. He is doing okay, but the whole family is stressed. I called to ask about his progress (good) and to offer vegetables from our garden, since they haven't had a garden since his health started to fail. Gloria (aptly named) came to pick up squash, eggplant, peppers, tomatoes and chard, along with a dozen eggs. She was practically in tears over the fresh veggies, and was sure they were going to perk up her husband's flagging appetite. She called last night, and he had a tomato and cheese omelette and some sliced cucumber for dinner, and was looking forward to eggs and toast for breakfast.
This is what makes sharing your garden worthwhile!

I have been on all sides of this equation reading through the posts, My family regularly do a runner from My Grandads veg bags he tries to palm off on us, this is because he only includes the stringiest Beans, wilting Cucks, soft mushy Toms, on us, he is from another time and I have regularly seen him take food out of the fridge with was way beyond even safe eating, we all try to sort through his cupboards to toss stuff away but god help you, if he catches you... he is 92 and has never had food poisoning...Goodness knows, I would.
I like Pheasant Stew and by amazing co-incidence, 2 of the girls in my set of 22 in Nursing School had Dads who worked as Game Keepers, one of the Dads on visiting, offered me some Pheasant, I said I would love some but I didn't know how to prepare it, a week later I get a few, lovingly prepared, I felt so bad, as I actually was aware how long it could take to do and I had kind of hoped he would show me what to do..I still don't know 21 years later.
last year I only had a few spares, which where tomatoes, I didn't get a thank you I was aware of at the time, but both recipients phoned me this year, to ask if I could start plants for them as they had never eaten tomatoes like them, one has started a full scale garden bigger than mine, as he has always wanted one, but until his wife tasted my matos, she had always refused, as she couldn't see the benefit, and the other has started a container garden.
on the flip side both these people have done the following for me, welcomed me and my family into their homes, helped us acclimatize to the US, one has a pool, he has allowed us to come and share as well as inviting us to Family Functions, the other has Baby Sat for no remuneration.
So I do agree I would be miffed if I got nothing back, just take, but what goes around comes around, but maybe not in the way we expect :)