What Floral said.

Fences make good neighbors.

I have a 7 foot brick wall surrounding my property. Even that doesn't keep them away! I just told them I couldn't find the ball, so hopefully they'll be more careful next time. I did stake the hollyhock and hopefully the annuals will be fine, but in the past, their ball has broken several branches off my mango tree, many of which had fruit developing on them.

Children running around playing and doing things like letting balls go out of bounds by itself does not make them horrible. But rather typical. At any rate you should complain to the family instead of us. Suffering in angry silence is not keeping the peace. At least not for you.

Unless they are throwing bowling balls around I wonder if the breakage of the mango has been due to the weight of the fruit rather than balls hitting it.

Next will be the windows.

Except they've been doing it for 2 years, without hitting windows (as far as we here on the thread know).

Talk to the children in an educational way, like a teacher would. Bring them into your garden and show them the plants and what a ball can do to them. Talk about the way it makes you feel. Tell them you know how much fun playing ball is, but do they really want to make you feel upset.

Invite them to maybe help you in the garden, to put the plants back in the ground. Show them ways to make the ball go in another direction...let them plan it. Talk with a smile.

You want to hear stories, I’ve got stories.

Years ago we had finished up a new build in a beautiful community. We’d been in the house about 6 months. I am an avid gardener and planted loads of gorgeous perennials. We had maybe 100 feet of wooded area behind us which separated our house from our neighbors so our property line was in the middle of the woods. The kids on that street picked up the habit of using our property as a cut through to the rest of the neighborhood which was just not acceptable to me and the boy who lived behind us seemed to enjoy traipsing through our property and through areas where I was trying to grow things. I spoke to him and told him it was private property and to please make sure he did not venture into our yard. Oh boy did I hear it from his father. Within the next day or two the guy was screaming and yelling and cursing at me and telling me that his son was just a boy who wanted to explore etc. so basically I should just tolerate it suggesting I was being small minded if I didn’t. I was absolutely shell shocked and speechless. He was a big man and I was a small woman and the ferocity with which he attacked me verbally completely floored me. He was the kind of person there was no reasoning with and I knew there would be no peace after this encounter. I told my husband about everything that happened that evening and of course he was ready to blast, but common sense got the better of him. I decided right then and there I could not live in such close proximity to someone that would always be at odds with me and allow their children to do whatever they wanted on my property. Within the year we had put the house on the market and moved. Drastic I know but I know myself....I need to live in peace and feel comfortable in my own yard without worrying about angry, hostile neighbors.

Today we live on 7 gloriously private acres with no neighbors that I can see (they are there, but we have enough of a buffer surrounding our property that I cannot see my neighbors houses. I specifically chose acreage with that in mind so I would never have to deal with that kind of problem again.

I would advise you NOT to talk to the children unless you have a very good rapport with them and they know and trust you. Children can misperceive your intentions and then relay all that misunderstanding back to their parents. In the eyes of many kids, you’re the big scary adult and when they get corrected, even in a nice way, it can be very off putting to them. God only knows what that little neighbor boy of mine told his father that so enraged him. Anyway, I would talk directly to the parents (when you’re in a good frame of mind...you don’t want to come off angry) and hope for the best.

>God only knows what that little neighbor boy of mine told his father that so enraged him<

You've got it backwards - the neighbor boy felt entitled because his aggressive dad had made him think he was beforehand. The antisocial personality defect was already there, something for which you were not responsible.

That would irk me too to have my garden damaged by the neighbor kids. Since you already have a 7 ft high fence, I would look to install some bird netting to capture the balls that come over the fence.

It would be good to speak to the parents, however, I would probably not do it. It's too risky that it will backfire on you.

Bullies and thoughtless people depend on others letting them have their way.

Embothrum..... ha.....I’m a former NY’er. I know how to tough it out with the best of them, but we live in a different time now, and in this day and age one could end up getting shot in the face...you have to know who you are dealing with and when to speak and when to let it go and move on.

OP has given no indication of any particular knowledge of the parents and what they are like at all. And has indicated that they (the OP) are quite unhappy with how things are now.

Nidnay, wise moves on your part and that of your husband and I'm glad you now have the space and peace of mind you seek! After your first message, I was going to say that one must be careful so as not to end up as a victim featured on an episode of 'Fear Thy Neighbor'. Sometimes, for the better good of things and even our potential safely, we need to entirely remove ourselves from a particular scene!

Hi there, I am going through same challenge and getting frustrated now as I have discovered that one of my small tree has been kick out. Do you have any tips on how I can protect my garden from kids playing football outside? I have asked them many times not to play close to my side but they continue and what makes me angry is that they check if the owner of the house is soft or harsh, if they are threatened by or not. Sometimes they continue playing as I am busy cleaning and fixing my garden but they wont kick the ball towards my side until I am done and move back inside the yard, they i would hear see them running around my garage.

Don't know the ages of the children but, in any case, they will grow up and move on to bigger fields and new pursuits. Be patient and enjoy all the lovely plants that grow unharmed.

Fences make good neighbors.

She has a fence. Remembering being a kid, I didn't realize how much work went into people's yards. I think these kids have no idea, and it would take very few words to tell them how excited you were about your hollyhock . You could say you imagine they had no intention to do any damage, but that the ball is heavy and DOES do damage. I would ask if they could play in a different area of their yard where the ball won't come over the fence.

Recently I had two very young kids, maybe 4 and 6, a brother and sister, come into my yard and start moving potted plants around. As I have things in my garden that could cause the kids harm I first told their mother how adorable her kids are ( they are), and then asked her to ask them not to come over here due to potetial for harm. We are also putting up a fence on that side. The mom didn't smile at me but the kids have not been back over here. I think if it's risky to set limits with people or explain your preferences or your rights, it can be a risk worth taking. If you seem basically reasonable and calm, not too belligerant, there's a good chance they'll listen. I had to tell my other neighbors that I was going to call animal control if they didn't stop letting their ferocious looking dog run around. That dog ran at me once...scary. The neighbors didn't seem that offended and kept the dog put up. I would far rather have someone give me a warniing about dog misbehaviour than for them to call the animal control out of the blue or even kill the dog. If you set your limits, reasonable people know that they can also set limits with you. So you could say, perhaps, " Please let me know if there's ever any problem you need to bring up with me."

That said, there are things I object to that I don't bring up with the neighbors. Nidnay, that's too bad you encountered such an angry guy....I don't know what I'd have done in that case. I don't believe most people are like that.

I had the same problem with the neighbor’s kids playing in the road and knocking balls into my front yard and breaking plants in my garden. One day they were having a party and the balls were flying and my plants were being broken and I yelled to one of the kids to stop breaking my plants. The next thing I knew, the B*ch mother and her 18 year old son were standing over me and threatening me while I tended to my gardens. They said it was their right to play and there was nothing I could do about it. I was seriously afraid of them. This country is full of self-entitled, dangerous A*holes like this now.

when they knock say sure right after a second and then tear the ball up into shreads and then say nanananana koosh koosh you dont get it i rippped it up

they will not throw the ball into your garden agein

I encountered the same situation. The kid broke my screen window and knocked the door to ask for ball. I told them that they broke my screen window but the teen said that it was broken before. No sorry and apologize at all. Then I told them I need talked with parents. Their uncle told me that teen did not broke my screen window and see that I was upset so just shut off the door. I was wondering what kind of education the adult gave to the kid. I am so sad about the future of those kids.